by Ann Gimpel
She set off at a brisk walk and pushed through a nearby door. Surely five minutes’ worth of fresh air would clear her jumbled thoughts enough to make her decent company through a one-hour meal.
She hoped.
If fifteen years away from Brice hadn’t been enough to purge him from her heart, soul, and mind, what chance did five minutes have of doing anything?
Chapter Thirteen
Brice had to remove himself from Juliana’s side. If he’d stayed, they’d have ended up in each other’s arms. He’d recognized the softness in her eyes, the emotion that turned them liquid with longing, and he wasn’t strong enough to resist her. He made a beeline for the locker room. It was one place she couldn’t follow him, and he needed to think.
His body hummed with needing her. Touching her shoulder had kindled vivid memories of them straining together, pushing closer and closer to release as they made love. They’d both been virgins, and they’d figured things out as they went. The feel of her nipples, hard as marbles and pressed against his chest, was as intense as if they’d just gotten up from tangled sheets. If he closed his eyes, he could feel the heat of her vault closing around him as he sank into her.
His balls ached. His cock was rigid with desire. The locker room was empty, and he ducked into a stall, unzipping before he even had the door locked. Feeling furtive, guilty as hell, he wrapped his fingers around his burning erection and fantasized making love with her. A handful of strokes was all it took before his cock shuddered in his hand, semen jetting from it into a wad of bathroom tissue.
Feeling like an idiot, he stuffed his still-erect cock back into his pants and willed his breathing to return to normal. Not much he could do about his face, which had to be flushed from his orgasm. He waited for a few moments before exiting the stall. Luck was with him, and the locker room was still empty.
He stood in front of his open locker, considering his options for the remainder of the day. He wasn’t on call; another pulmonologist was, which meant he could work on damn near anything.
Or nothing. I almost never take any time for myself.
The more he thought about heading home for a few hours, the better he liked the idea. For one thing, it lessened his odds of running into Juliana. She still read him well, and he needed to carve out a more centered place before he faced her again. He would need to stop by and see his patients before he left for the day, though. Millicent Davidson as well, to reassure her everything would be fine.
He fished his phone from a pocket and texted Lupe.
Did Timmy arrive?
Her response was almost immediate and consisted of a string of smiling faces and hearts.
Brice texted back.
Tell him I’ll be home around the middle of the afternoon. He and I can go to the park.
Another smiling face followed by:
He eat and nap. Ready for you when you get here.
Brice smiled at the display. Lupe was a godsend. The perfect combination of mother and friend.
Julie’s face rose before him, so real it made his heart ache. Lupe was wonderful, but what he longed for was a wife, children of his own. Before he got lost in his earlier funk, he shut his locker and headed off to do rounds. Yesterday’s surgery patient wasn’t really “his,” but he checked on him anyway. He was doing as well as could be expected. Everyone else on his patient roster was moving toward discharge.
He started walking toward the ICU and Sarah’s bed but hesitated, not wanting to disturb her and Angus. After moments of indecision ticked past, he decided to stop anyway. She was his patient, and he needed to let Angus know he was leaving early.
If Juliana was there, which she probably wasn’t for the same reasons he’d had second and third thoughts about horning in on Sarah and Angus’s reunion, he’d smile pleasantly and go on his way. He still needed to see Millicent, but it wouldn’t take long.
After that, Timmy would be waiting. Brice liked the idea of sharing the park with its pond and ducks and pigeons with the boy. They could play on the swings and slide. He curved his fingers and dragged them through his curly mop. He needed a haircut, but it was fairly low priority.
Ready as he’d ever be, he pushed into the ICU. Relief weakened his knees after a quick scan verified Juliana wasn’t there. She’d been at the top of his worry list. Not disturbing Angus had been only an excuse. He grabbed a gown, gloves, and a mask and let himself into Sarah’s cubicle.
Angus sat at the midpoint of the bed, cradling one of Sarah’s hands between his. He twisted his neck and glanced at Brice. “Cheers, mate.”
“Cheers back at both of you.” Brice looked from one to the other, trolling for cues. Both Sarah and Angus appeared happy, relaxed. Surely, it meant their discussion had gone well.
“If you’re here for daily rounds,” Sarah said brightly, “I’ve already got a highly competent M.D., so feel free to check me off today’s list.”
Brice came closer and punched Angus lightly in the shoulder. “We need to get you added to our staff roster, so you’ll have hospital privileges. A badge, door codes, the whole nine yards.”
“Aye. Already thought of that. I’ll stop by admin when I leave here.”
It was a decent lead-in, so Brice jumped on it. “I have one more patient to see and then I’m going home for the day. That little boy we talked about arrived, and I’d like to spend some time with him.”
“What little boy?” Sarah glued her gaze on him, eyes so like Julie’s they always gave him pause.
Angus saved Brice the trouble of picking his way through the minefield of patient confidentiality by saying, “The wee lad and his mum were in an auto accident. Brice happened to be there. Both will be fine, but the mum needed a few more days in hospital.”
Sarah tilted her head to one side, eyes turning mellow just like her sister’s. “Awww. You volunteered to take care of the child, you old softie.”
Brice nodded. “’Fraid so. Angus, how will you get back to my house tonight?”
“Don’t wait dinner on me. I’ll have someone in admin find me a taxi when I’m ready to leave.”
“It’s okay,” Sarah spoke up. “You can have dinner with Brice. I’m not going anywhere.”
Angus turned to face her. “I already ordered something special just for the two of us. You may even get candlelight.” Bending close, he kissed both her cheeks. “Until you get out of here, I’m spending as much time with you as I can. Once they spring you, I’m not leaving your side.”
The smile that illuminated Sarah’s gaunt face was so radiant, Brice felt he was intruding on a private moment. “See you whenever you get home, Angus. Sarah, I’ll stop by tomorrow.”
“Bye, mate. See you soon.” Angus waved.
Brice grinned—their joy was so infectious, it was hard not to—and left Sarah’s enclosure. Lost in thought, he almost ran into Erika.
She hooked an arm through his and dragged him off to one side. “I have no idea how you pulled it off,” she whispered, “but Dr. MacDuff is perfect. Sarah’s dragged all four limbs back into the land of the living. Heart and soul too. I have to admit I was plenty worried about her. So worried, I talked with the twin, but she already knew.”
“Yes, Juliana’s always been pretty quick on the uptake where Sarah’s concerned. I didn’t pull anything off,” he added, keeping his voice low. “They’ve known one another for years. If this is anyone’s coup, it’s Angus’s.”
“Whatever. I’m just delighted this story will have a happy ending. For now. So many of ours don’t.”
Brice understood all too well. “Thanks for caring.”
She shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “It’s what I do. I’ve considered getting out, doing something easier after all my years in the trenches, but something draws me back. There’s passion in medicine. We save lives.”
He gave the nurse a quick hug. “That we do, Erika. More you than me, most of the time.”
“But you do all the splashy stuff.” She tilted her head back to look at h
im.
“And you make sure that splashy stuff doesn’t go south. It’s a match made in heaven. I’m off to see the Davidson woman. If you need anything, page me.”
Erika cast an appraising glance his way. “I heard you’ll have the boy for a while. Whole hospital knows by now. You’re a good man, Doc.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead she turned and walked to her desk, settling in front of her screen.
Brice discarded his mask, gloves, and gown and headed for Med-Surg. The charge nurse, a youngish redhead he didn’t know, nodded pleasantly after coming close enough to take a look at his ID tag. “I’ll be in room six,” he told her.
“Millie already has a visitor,” she informed him, “but the more the merrier.”
Curious, Brice traversed the corridor and listened before knocking. A man with a U.K. accent, Irish not Scottish, was laughing and chatting with Millicent Davidson.
Was it the mysterious Father John? If so, Millicent had done more than pay lip service to his suggestion. Brice knocked and strode into the room. Millie looked ever so much better, not from a bruising perspective, but her eyes were alight with happiness, and she’d graduated to no longer needing an IV.
“Dr. McKinnon, I’d like you to meet Father John.”
Brice extended a hand; the priest got to his feet and shook it. He wore dark slacks and a tweed jacket tossed over a dark shirt, but a clerical collar circled his neck. “Sure and ’tis a right pleasure,” the priest said, following it with, “’Tis on account of you, I know I have a son.”
“Timmy is the reason I stopped by today.” Brice shifted his focus to Millicent. “He made it to my house fine. My housekeeper is doting on him, and I’m on my way home to take him to the park.”
“Thank you so much for everything.” She smiled warmly. “My doctor says I should be able to go home day after tomorrow. Of course, I don’t have a car anymore, but—”
“I’ll see Timmy home safe,” Father John broke in. “And I’ll help you file an insurance claim too. Once we see what they’ll give you for your car, we’ll go shopping and get you another.”
“Maybe.” Millicent shrugged. “Mine wasn’t worth much.”
“Don’t you worry. I already told you the Church will help as needed.”
He turned toward Brice. “You certainly don’t have to, but I’d take it as a great kindness if I could make an appointment to stop by and meet my...” He hesitated and stood taller. “My son. Sorry. ’Twill take a wee bit of time to get used to the idea.”
Brice glanced at Millicent. “Okay with you?”
“More than okay.”
Father John drew his brows together. “Millie was trying to protect me, and I love her for it. She’s truly one of Our Father’s blessed creatures. I won’t have to leave the priesthood, but I will gladly shoulder my fatherly responsibilities toward my son. I expect ’twill take a wee bit of time before he accepts me, but I have infinite patience. The Church will help with the expenses of raising him as well.”
Brice frowned, not sure if he should ask but wanting to know. “Did something change? I was fairly certain the Church took a dim view of such things.”
“Sure and they do.” The priest nodded. “Problem was so many of us were celibate but not precisely chaste, the Pope issued an edict addressing this specific issue. ’Tis about the children’s needs. mind you, not about me.”
“Timmy will love you,” Millicent said. “He’s asked about his father so many times. Right now, he’s easy enough to put off, but that won’t last through too many more years.”
“Won’t be an issue any longer.” The priest faced Brice. “When would be convenient for a first visit with my son?”
Brice started to say anytime, but what he didn’t know about raising young children was legion. “What do you think?” he asked Millicent. “You know your boy better than anyone.”
She screwed her face into a mask of concentration. Clearly, this was important, and she wanted to maximize the chances of it going well. She cast a worried glance at the priest. “Don’t take this wrong, but—”
“Millie,” he broke in. “Sorry for interrupting, but I want what’s best for young Timmy too. I’m just as clueless as the good doctor here about the care and feeding of toddlers.”
Brice bit back a smile. The priest had seen through Brice’s reason for punting the question into Millie’s court.
“All right. I’ll just say this right out.” Millicent pushed the button to raise her bed to a more upright position. “Today was a big day for Timmy. He left the hospital—and being close to me. He’s in a new place with a woman he only just met. I’m sure she’s wonderful”—this time Millicent’s doe-like gaze settled on Brice—“but she’s still new.”
“Would you rather wait until you and he are home?” Father John asked.
“It’s only a couple of days,” Brice tossed in, thinking perhaps having Millicent present would be best.
“It’s what I was about to suggest,” she murmured.
“How about this?” Father John looked hopeful. “I’ll come by and pick you up when the hospital discharges you. Then we’ll swing by Dr. McKinnon’s and get Timmy, and then I can drive both of you home. If things go well, I’ll bide a bit, make sure you’re comfortable and can get around enough to manage.”
“You don’t have to—” she began.
“I know. I want to.”
“In that case, I accept.”
“I’m going to get going,” Brice said. “I’ll call you early this evening and put Timmy on the phone. You can tell one another good night.”
“Thank you again, Doctor.”
“No thanks needed. Happy to do it.” He transferred his attention to the priest. “Nice to meet you, Father.”
“Even nicer to meet you. I have no way to repay you for the kindness you’ve done, but good deeds have a way of repaying the doer tenfold.”
“Sounds suspiciously biblical.”
“Almost everything is when you cut away the fat. I take it you’re not a religious man.”
Brice bit back a stock response. The priest deserved more than a cursory answer. “I wouldn’t say I’m not religious, but I’ve never followed any of the organized religions.” He took a breath and blew it out. “No one could sit with a dying patient and not appreciate the numinous aspect of passing from this life to whatever comes next.”
“Aye. Birth and death are both miracles. I understand you right enough, and I’d love to talk more, but I won’t hold you here nattering philosophy with me. Millie and I have a lot to catch up on.”
Brice smiled and left them. He nodded to the charge nurse and headed for his locker to change into street clothes. Some of his cronies lived in scrubs. But the hospital had a laundry, and he preferred them to take care of his scrubs and lab coats. It had never felt fair to bring blood-stained clothing home for Lupe to wash.
As he covered the distance to his BMW, anxious to get home, he whistled a tune his mother used to sing. So far today, two long-lost couples had found their way back to one another. Was the energy of the Christmas season whipping Cupid into a frenzy?
He laughed, but it held a bitter edge. Cupid was Valentine’s Day, not Christmas. And if the pudgy little elf was passing out connubial bliss, how come he’d avoided Brice?
“What exactly is it I want?” he asked the confines of his car, not expecting an answer but needing to hear the question out loud.
The few miles between the hospital and his home would flash by quickly enough, and he wanted to be totally present for Timmy, not lost in what-ifs about Juliana.
Was it too late for them?
He suspected the answer was yes. Fifteen years was a really long time. Far too long to just pick up where they’d left off. Hell, they’d been kids. Wet behind the ears. Neither of them knew much of anything about living, except it wasn’t how they’d have characterized themselves at the time.
The hubris of youth was legendary. They’d thought they knew everything, ha
d the world by the balls. Lessons like compassion and humility would happen far in the future.
He pulled the car over a couple of blocks from home, determined to come to a more settled place. Either he sat with Juliana and they talked this out, or he let it go forever.
No middle ground. He hadn’t exactly not thought about her in years, but she hadn’t haunted him like she was now. Could he go back to before Sarah’s illness had brought Julie front and center in his life?
Not just can I? Do I want to?
He shut his eyes. This wasn’t a place for lists of pros and cons. He’d nursed an empty spot ever since Juliana kicked him out of her life. He’d spackled it over and made it shiny, glossy even, but a hole remained beneath his repair work. One which would apparently never heal enough to let him love someone else. If it was going to, he’d have gotten past this long since.
He opened his eyes and put the car back into drive. Maybe it was being surrounded by lovebirds making second-time-around relationships work, but he’d find a time and sit with Julie, see if they could unearth common ground. He’d come clean, tell her he’d never stopped loving her and see where it led.
She might spurn him a second time, but at least he would have gone down fighting. Before, she hadn’t even been willing to talk with him. This time, he had a feeling she’d hear him out. What would happen after that was anyone’s guess.
Relieved to have picked a path, he pulled into his driveway anxious to get to know Timmy Davidson better. For once it wasn’t raining, which meant they’d have a grand time in the park. He and his father had spent time playing in parks just like the one near his home. As he’d grown older, they’d graduated to shooting hoops, fishing, hunting, and jogging together. A career Marine aviator, his dad could have been a poster boy for physical fitness.
As he got out of his car and strode briskly toward the front steps, he vowed to do his damnedest to patch things up with Juliana. He wanted her by his side forever, wanted to see their children grow up...
The door flew open before he got to it, and Timmy raced toward him. “You’re here,” he crowed.