by Taylor Hart
The screen door creaked open.
“Cassidy.” His voice was a whisper, but then he was next to her, reaching for her arm. “You don’t look good.”
Turning to him, smelling the Irish Spring of him, she was reorienting her brain. Another round of tears filled her eyes, this time because she was thinking about how she’d been acting. “I’m sorry.”
“Ahh.” He put his arms around her and she melted into his embrace.
His dog tags touched her head and the hardness of his chest felt…like home.
Only now…her home had changed again.
With Anthony.
Or had it?
She blinked and just let herself give in to Kyle. His strength, the fact he was back after being behind enemy lines for six months and he was comforting her.
“You’re in shock, sweetheart.” Gently, he brushed his lips on her forehead and turned so he was leaning against the porch post and she was leaning on him. “Survivor’s shock…that’s what they call it.” He brushed her hair down her head and onto her shoulders over and over. “Shh.” He whispered as she felt herself relax more and more.
Yes, this was Kyle. The man she loved. The man she’d been engaged to. The man she was going to have kids and dogs with in the suburbs.
“I’m so sorry, baby, for all you’ve been through. I can understand why you’ve been so … unwilling to talk to me. I just show up and … obviously you’ve been seeing him.”
Anthony’s face flashed into her mind.
Yes, Anthony. Once again all the memories that had been on display on the screen of her mind the past two weeks now rushed forward, taking the spotlight…him on his horse, pretending to kick her off his property, kissing him for the first time next to her treehouse, dancing with him at the club and falling to pieces, then watching him play the song he wrote for her. She hadn’t really realized it until this moment, but the last two weeks hadn’t just been her falling back in love with Anthony…it had been her heart healing from the past ten years of missing him, wondering about him, needing him.
Guilt.
It washed into her like the bubonic plague that had taken out London in one fell swoop, leaving millions dead, shattered…and the stench of death.
Seeming to sense her shift in mood, Kyle firmly placed his hands onto her shoulders and tugged her back, staring into her eyes. “Cassidy, don’t shut me out.”
“No, it’s my fault.” She said more decidedly. She accepted all the blame. She deserved all the blame, didn’t she? For falling in love with someone else. Correction, for never … falling out of love really. “All of it’s my fault.”
Kyle pulled back and peered into her eyes and she was stunned staring up at his perfectly green ones. The ones she’d prayed for, thought about in her mind a thousand times when he’d been away putting himself in harm’s way for…her…for her country. His eyes misted. “I love you, Cass, I never stopped. You got me home.”
She didn’t know what she was doing…but all she could think as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers.
Was that she loved him, too.
She did.
The next day, Cassidy found herself parked in front of Anthony’s house. This neighborhood was fancy, which she had expected. She’d never been to his home and had needed to look up his address. Now she found herself unable to get out of the car. Her heart raced and her hands were shaky. She wondered if she was having some kind of anxiety attack.
She’d been trying to call him and text him for two days. Two days. It wasn’t just that she needed to finish one final thing for the article—it was the fact that he thought he could ignore her!
Plus, she needed to tell him something important. Something that didn’t have anything to do with the article. Something that he deserved to hear from her.
As she sat looking up at Anthony’s custom-built mansion, she had no idea what she was doing. The seconds ticked by into minutes. She sat in the car.
Finally, she got out of the car and started walking up to the front door. It was daunting and huge, kind of like the man himself, and she didn’t know how to face him.
Trembling, she held her hands together, figuring she could silence the worry. It didn’t help. She stopped on the steps, once again paralyzed, thinking about what to say.
There was no way of telling how long she’d stood there, when the front door jerked open and Scar came out. She could tell he was surprised she was there too, because he stumbled, taking her down with him. They tumbled to the ground. Luckily, the grass cushioned their fall.
Anthony appeared at the doorway. “Cassidy?” He rushed down the steps.
Even though Scar was standing up next to her, it was like everything else melted away.
Anthony helped her up. She noticed he looked like complete crap. He wore workout shorts and a white T-shirt with gym shoes. His face looked swollen and the side of his lip was cut.
“What happened to you?” she asked and touched the cut above his lip.
Anthony only stared into her eyes, still holding her.
Her heart rate pounded and the details of the scene rushed over her. The way he smelled like laundry soap and how his eyes looked bloodshot. The way she felt in his arms, the sheer strength of him. The concern on his face.
Scar quickly retreated. “Check you later, Kincaid.”
Anthony didn’t turn to look at his friend leaving. He didn’t let her go, either. “Okay.”
Scar drove away and Anthony leaned in, placing his lips on hers, more gentle than he’d ever been before.
Every part of her told her to stop this. To tell him what she needed to tell him and leave, but she couldn’t.
He deepened the kiss, seeming to drink from her. Even though she had no idea what she was doing, she drank from him, too, pulling him closer to her. Time felt suspended, and this felt so right.
Seconds ticked by into minutes and it made her to smile to think about how they were making out in front of his house. Guilt flitted through her because she’d just been kissing Kyle yesterday.
Finally, he leaned back, staring into her eyes, searching them. “I’ve missed you.”
Once again she surveyed his face; bloodshot eyes, bruised cheeks. Her heart raced. “Anthony … I need to talk to you.”
He put a finger to her lips and shook his head. With his hand holding hers, he pulled her up the steps. “I need to talk to you first.”
She followed, feeling the buzz of anticipation. There was something just about to break free to the surface; she could sense it.
His house was every bit what she would expect it to be: decorated beautifully, but with a male touch. He didn’t stop to show her around, but simply pulled her through the living room, down the hall to a kitchen, and stopped. Pulling his hand back, he dragged it through his hair. “Cassidy, there’s been something I’ve needed to tell you.” He sighed. “Something I should have told you when you first started this article.”
She could not imagine what he was talking about. Especially right now, when she was here to dig through the mud of the fact her dead ex was alive again. “Okay.” It was funny to her that she actually felt calmer.
Turning away from her, he went to a drawer and pulled out a bottle. A pill bottle. He held it up. “Look at it.”
Peering closer, she read, “Oxycodone.” She took the pill bottle and shook it—nothing. Her heart sank. “Anthony?”
“When you were asking about my timeline and you asked why I went to Zion’s … well, I didn’t go for fun.” He looked like he was going to puke.
“Anthony,” she said, getting worried.
“I was at a rehab program. I … after my injuries, I got addicted to pills. I didn’t think I had, but I was. By the time I was addicted, everything was falling apart. I couldn’t function without them and …”
She was stunned. “You lied to me?”
“I’m …” He clenched a hand into a fist.
It suddenly made sense, this off feeling
she’d had.
He took her hand. “All my rationalization. That I was protecting Kade, the Titans, myself, it all sounds pathetic, and I’m sorry. Because I realized I don’t care. I don’t care if you put it in your article. I don’t care if you choose Kyle. I’ll hate it, but I care about you knowing the truth. I care that I am always truthful in our relationship.”
She eyed the empty bottle of pills, almost hearing the click of each puzzle piece falling into place. Then she thought of the other night with him on his knee. “I was going to say yes.”
Instantly, he looked like he would cry. “You were?”
Impossibly, her pulse increased. She couldn’t believe this. She couldn’t even fathom that he’d … hidden this from her. “Isn’t the first rule for addicts complete honesty?”
Looking caught, he swallowed. “I know, I screwed up. I can dice it a million ways why I did it, but the truth is I messed up.”
Her mind was swimming. He’d lied to her. She sucked in a breath. “I came to tell you I’m leaving.”
He looked like he’d been sucker punched. “What? With Kyle?”
Every part of her was tense. “We’re going back to Florida.”
A severe scowl washed over his face. “You chose him?” His voice was soft.
For a second she didn’t answer, still unable to believe he’d lied to her the whole time about the pills. She wanted to scream, yell. She wanted … for all of these questions in her mind to stop for a second. “My old boss wants me back. My dad is good now, so … there’s no reason to stay.” Even as she said the words she blinked, trying not to cry.
He shook his head, clenching one hand into a fist. “There’s a reason to stay, Cass.”
She took off for the front door, feeling angrier and angrier about what he’d confessed.
“Wait! Cass!” He reached for the back of her bicep.
“No!” she roared, pulling away from him, feeling like … she didn’t know what, but she knew she needed space. She flung the front door open and started down the stairs.
“I love you, Cass.”
Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, she looked up at the tears on his face. It upset her more than she expected. He was crying. She’d never seen him do that. Not since his mother’s death.
Hesitating, they just stared at each other. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath for a minute, feeling like she would explode. “Are you still addicted?” She blurted.
He let out a breath. “No. I did the six-week program and I haven’t touched the things since. I take nothing for pain.” He gestured to the driveway. “I’ve been sparring with Scar to help with … things. And I made an appointment with a therapist this morning, not really for the pills, but … well, to talk through my feelings for you.”
Sparring? That explained why his lip was cut.
Slowly, he closed his eyes and pushed his thumbs into them. “Are you … are you still in love with Kyle?”
It felt easier to answer his question after his confession. “Of course I still love him. I was engaged to him.”
The pain on his face seemed to dry up and she recognized his media mask put into place. “I guess that’s that.”
Unable to believe she had found herself in this position in her life, she felt like things were ending. It was breaking her heart, but she didn’t know what to do. She stood there, paralyzed.
The mask slipped and he rushed down the stairs, taking her hand. “I’m sorry, Cass. I should have told you, but if I would have told you, it would have ended up in the article and it would have hurt the people I love.”
She let out a soft laugh, unable to believe what he was saying. “Aren’t I someone you love?”
Looking flabbergasted, he dropped her hand. “You know you are.”
The center of her chest erupted with pain. More pain than she felt she could bear. She stared into his beautiful face, her own tears now streaming down her face. “I would never have sold you out, Boss. Never.” With that said, she fled to her car.
Chapter 28
The next week was brutal for Anthony. Cassidy hadn’t contacted him at all and she hadn’t returned any of his calls or texts, which he figured were up in the stalker-ish range at the moment. This alone would have been enough to make him crazy, but he had to go through the motions of everyday life—weights, meetings, practice, sessions with Scar at the gym, and talking to his new therapist. Truthfully, he felt dead inside, thinking he wouldn’t have Cassidy.
Cassidy’s article had come out in a full Dallas Star Sunday spread, she’d used the title ‘The Second Chance Quarterback.’ And it’d been amazing, highlighting the recovery process and showcasing snippets from interviews with James Knight, his father, Kade, and a couple of players. It detailed his game against San Diego and how he’d led the team to victory. Cassidy ended the article posing the question, “Who is to say what the future holds for Anthony Kincaid? All this reporter has to say is, I believe good is coming.”
He’d studied every word of that article and had to wipe his eyes at the end.
He needed her.
Since it was a home game Sunday, he and his father had gone to Kade’s house for dinner Thursday night, to visit Felicity and hold the baby. As they sat in the piano room after dinner, his father looked like he wanted to say something, but Anthony felt that his father had been holding his tongue lately. Honestly, Anthony didn’t know if he liked it or not. He kind of wanted some hard words at the moment.
His thoughts turned to Cassidy.
“Bro,” Kade said quietly, looking up at him. Felicity and his father were engaged in their own conversation. “Talk to me.”
“What can I say?” He’d already told Kade and Felicity and his father everything that had happened with Cassidy.
Kade sighed. “You’re going to be okay. All I know is Anthony Kincaid is bigger than any problem.”
The rhetoric made him smile, but didn’t help much. “Thanks.”
His father came over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Ah, son, what have you been sitting around for? Go after the woman you love.”
Anthony wished it were that easy. “Dad … she didn’t choose me. Do you get that?”
His father scoffed. “Is that all the fight you’ve got in you?”
Flabbergasted, he didn’t even know what to say to his father, he turned to Kade who was surprisingly giving him the same unimpressed look.
Anthony stood, anger boiling. He made a sweeping gesture to both of them? “Is this what you think about me? That I don’t have fight in me?”
Neither of them answered. Every part of Anthony wanted to fight, he curled a hand into a fist.
“Stop it.” Felicity said in a controlled voice. “Jimmy doesn’t need this,” she gently touched the baby’s chin. “Does he?” Her voice had turned sing song.
Anthony’s father let out a sad, sardonic laugh. “I’ve watched you battle back this past year from … a lot. I would have thought you would have gone after her by now.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Aren’t you the ‘second chance quarterback?’”
His father was referring to the article.
All of the fight went out of him and his mind filled with possibilities. Should he, could he go after her?
Then he thought about what she’d said … she’d always wanted him to come for her.
To be her prince.
“Crap.” He let out a breath and felt that nervous tension in the pit of his stomach. The kind he got right before he went in to the game. “You’re right.”
His dad gave him a full grin. “Course I’m right.”
Anthony turned to Kade. “I have to go get her, fight for her!”
Kade laughed. “Go!” He wagged his finger at him. “But be back for the game on Sunday!”
Felicity laughed too. “And kiss a baby on the cheek first, then go.”
Anthony stared down into little James’s eyes. “You never quit. You always try for a second chance, hear me, little man?”
His father let out a low whistle. “That’s right!” He held up his fist into the air. “Kincaids!”
The rest of them copied him. “Kincaids!”
Determination fueled Anthony as he hurried out of Kade’s house. He would go to her and convince her to be with him. Or he would lay it all on the line and fail, but he didn’t care.
He believed in second chances!
Chapter 29
Cassidy was ready for a day of surfing. It’d been a long time since she’d been to the beach and it would help clear her mind, something she truly needed at the moment. Opening her hotel room door, she was stunned to find Anthony sitting against it, half-way asleep. Her hand went covered her mouth. “Ohmygosh!”
Jerking awake, he was instantly on his feet. “Hey.” He wiped at his face and held out a sunflower.
Her mouth went dry for a second and her heart raced. “What are you doing here?”
A weird smile washed over his face and he lifted and lowered his shoulders. “You said you’d teach me to surf, I was hoping I could take you up on the offer.”
She didn’t know what to say. Instantly, emotion welled into her chest. She’d missed him so much. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. There had been too much crying in the past few days. Over Anthony. Then over Kyle. Purposefully keeping her voice calm she asked, “How did you know where I would be?”
He shrugged. “I called Elite Athletes and begged your boss for information.”
“Oh.” She didn’t know what to do or say. Of course they would give information to Anthony Kincaid. “What did you promise them?”
A wide grin washed over his face. “An exclusive from me.” He sighed. “I told your boss about my addiction and I told her I hid it from you. But, I want to come clean, I want to tell the truth. And … I want you to be the one to help me tell that story.” He shrugged. “On condition it’s after the championship game. After Kade gets all the glory he deserves this year.”
Her heart raced. Yes, her boss would give him anything he wanted if he was getting an exclusive with him. Especially something this juicy. She evaluated him, he looked ragged and a bit broken. “Why would you do that?”