by Ben Boswell
She shrugged. “I’m not sure how you want this to evolve. Was your visit to Brian’s bar a one-off or some sort of signal that you want this to become more visual?”
“So that thing at the club last night was all a setup for my enjoyment?”
Her face tightened. “No.”
“Terri?”
“What did you see?”
“I saw you and Shaun out on the dance floor. And then…” I hesitated feeling awkward about my slide into a voyeur role. “...I followed you back into the VIP area.”
“So you saw it all?”
“Most of it. Was it a show?”
She shook her head. “No.”
It felt like she was accusing me. Or maybe that was just my own guilt. “I couldn’t do anything. He had a security guard on me, with a stun gun pressed into my arm.” I held it out, although the marks from the metal prongs were no longer visible.
She sighed. “Yeah, well, I think he has a well-practiced routine in place, even if he didn’t go through with it with me. Though I’m guessing he gets a lot of willing participants as well.”
“Why weren’t you willing?” I asked, although I immediately regretted it when she frowned at me.
“Ugh, Bill, you’re an ass sometimes. Look, yeah, good looking guy. And if I were single or if I didn’t already think I was on a date with another man already. And if he’d taken his time with me, then… maybe. But that wasn’t the point.”
“What was the point?”
“I’ve been playing hard-to-get with Mike. Part of it is just for my amusement. Part of it is that I’m never quite sure what you want. But anyway, this was his punishment for me. A little mock-rape scene.”
“So you weren’t expecting that?”
She shook her head. “No. And Shaun was quite convincing.” She shuddered at the memory.
“But --”
I didn’t know how to ask it, but her reaction to him showing up wasn’t relief. It wasn’t confusion. It was a moment of anger that quickly transformed into excited passion.
“When Mike showed up…. I can’t explain it,” she admitted.
I couldn’t get the memory of how she’d exploded at his touch out of my head . And how just a few minutes later she was worshiping his cock in the back seat of a hired car.
“You were all over him.”
She nodded. “I couldn’t help myself. It was like… I was on fire.”
“What happened at his place?”
“More of the same. All night.”
“He tied you up?”
“No. I told him he didn’t need to. That I would do anything he asked.”
“Terri --”
“He took Viagra to keep up, and he finished seven times. Three times in my ass. Twice in my pussy. Twice in my mouth. I don’t even know how many times I came.”
In a different context, it might have felt like she was tormenting me, but in this case it seemed almost as if she were beating up on herself.
“It’s okay,” I said soothingly.
“Is it? You know how he got me going over and over?” I didn’t reply, but I knew. “He told me that next time it would be for real. That he wouldn’t stop Shaun. That he was going to tie me up and invite over a bunch of guys and….”
“Rape you.”
She nodded.
“It’s just… a fantasy,” I said reassuringly.
“See, Bill? See. You like it. You like it when I’m out of control.”
“I didn’t say that.”
She stripped off her dress suddenly. “Look at me Bill. Look what he did to me.”
She slipped into a beam of sunshine at the foot of the bed. Squinting against the glare, she let the harsh daylight illuminate her nighttime of sin. The signs were everywhere. Her nipples were dark red, still distended. Hand prints mottled the smooth skin of her ass. Her pussy was swollen and oozing. She rolled onto her side and, with an obscene casualness, pulled her asscheeks apart so I could witness her battered, glistening asshole.
“Terri --”
“Tell me the truth, Bill, does this make you want to kick me out or fuck me?”
There was something primal about it. Seeing her like that, so obviously used and abused, leaking another man’s come, made my blood boil. I didn’t hesitate. “Fuck you.”
“How do you want me?”
“On your back,” I growled.
She reclined onto the comforter and pulled her knees to her chest. She was shameless. Was she abasing herself as some form of penance? Exposing herself to shock me? Or just getting off on provoking a reaction from me?
It didn’t matter. In that position, both her pummelled ass and gooey cunt were on display. I moved toward her, yanking down my PJs as I went. She grasped my cock and guided it to her swollen, wet twat.
I entered her easily, so I was surprised when she cried out. I froze.
“Don’t stop,” she hissed.
I churned inside her. She was so wet, and I thought I could feel his jism squishing around my cock. She sucked air through her teeth in obvious discomfort. I slowed.
“Terri?”
She grabbed my ass and urged me on.
“Oh God, Baby. He fucked me so, so hard,” she explained.
I should have been disgusted, and maybe I was, but I was also inflamed. I hammered her harder, even though it made her gasp in pain, her insistent hands making clear her desire.
“By the end, I don’t even think he wanted to come anymore. It was more about just wearing me out. He wanted to break me. But I took it all.”
It was like her final weekend with Chucky, after she’d told him about us, and told him it was over between them. There was something about Terri that turned men into animals and made them want to dominate her. I was the exception. The one man in her life who didn’t succumb to the urge to overpower. But even I sometimes couldn’t restrain myself.
Faster, deeper. She was writhing beneath me.
She gasped and encouraged me. “That’s it Bill. Like that.”
And when I slowed even a little, she turned up the heat.
“Are you proud of me, Honey?” she asked. “I took it all. Even when he shoved me against the wall and pounded my aching ass.”
I roared and thrust in hard enough to make her cry out, or maybe that was because of the death grip I had on her thighs. I didn’t care.
I imagined her dressed again, prepping for her walk of shame, and Mike coming up behind her, cupping his hand over her mouth and sodomizing her already devastated asshole.
The vision was too much. I grunted as well and added my heavy load to the several he’d already deposited inside my wife’s exploited body.
I rolled off her and we both lay there breathing heavily. I felt guilty that I’d hurt her. That wasn’t the kind of man I wanted to be. It hit me, suddenly. Not the man I want to be. When had I decided that? It was true about as long as I could remember. And then it struck me. April. I’d never really come to terms with that. I’d always excused myself for being young and stupid and inexperienced. But I’d never let myself completely off the hook. I’d raped that poor girl. Okay, maybe not quite, even given a more modern understanding of rape. I hadn’t drugged her. I hadn’t used force. I’d just badgered her and guilted her into it. She was my first, and I’d always regretted it at some level. It was, I realized, why every time things with Terri veered into rough and angry, I recoiled.
It was a moment of clarity, and still, I was also a little angry that she’d provoked it. I took a deep breath and tried to control my emotions. April had never spoken to me again. I hadn’t reached out either, knowing full well how she felt about me. There was no level on which my forcing myself on her had been a positive experience for her. Terri though… was different.
Finally, I asked, “Why does it turn you on so much to be… taken?”
“Why does it turn you on that I like to be… taken?” she retorted.
I sighed. “We’ve already settled that, haven’t we? Toby fucked Melanie so good that she
screamed like a banshee. And I’ve been obsessed with it ever since.”
She put her hand across my chest. “Bill, I didn’t mean to --”
I interrupted her, “You’re so good at diagnosing me, but when will you be willing to look at yourself?”
“I don’t need --”
“Terri, seriously. No judgments, but we need to… figure it out.”
She sighed.
I waited her out. I didn’t have anything left to say. She had to make the next move.
She stared at the ceiling. And then softly, she spoke. “Okay. Okay. I… I just need a little more time.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but didn’t. She was obviously struggling with something, and I needed to give her space to work it out. As hard as that would be, I had to recognize that progress might come slowly and fitfully.
CHAPTER EIGHT
It didn’t actually take long. She slept in, and then we had a quiet, rainy day at home with the kids. That night in bed, she started the conversation without any further prompting.
“Remember when I mentioned that it was a little scary to be a young girl and suddenly realize men see you as a sexual object?”
I nodded. “You said that was when you began fantasizing about dominant guys as a protector or something.”
“Or something….” She repeated softly.
I had a sudden dark realization. “Terri? Did something happen to you? When you were a kid?”
“I was fourteen, you know, and maybe sort of a mean girl. I didn’t think I was, but you know, it… I…. I don’t even recognize that person anymore.”
“Kids can be cruel,” I noted.
She snorted. “Kids, teens really, are sociopaths. I mean, literally. Zero empathy. And I was in eighth grade. Last year of middle school. Tall, blond, big boobs….”
I laughed. “I never really thought of it, but yeah, it’s almost like you had Queen Bee status thrust upon you.”
“Or at least, I wasn’t strong enough to resist it. Jealous girls. Fawning boys. Even the male teachers trying to peek down my tops. I mean, look, it sounds horrible, but yeah, even my dad’s friends.... Anyway, we’re off track, because this wasn’t about that. Except, you know, indirectly. But anyway, that’s who I was, and I felt I was too good for this shit, and –”
“So, you started looking for guys good enough for you.”
She nodded. “Of course. Older guys. Guys with cars,” she said it in the same gushing tones she probably used at the time. “Guys my parents would hate.”
“And it got out of hand?”
“There was nothing really to get out of hand. I mean, twenty years ago now. I didn’t even have a phone. No Facebook, no Snapchat. Thank God for that because otherwise….”
She trailed off.
“Yeah, otherwise, there’d be a bunch of naked pics of you out there on the internet.”
I thought of the pictures Mike had taken of her, and even more the videos he’d sent me. That close up of his hard cock disappearing into my wife’s butthole -- the one that had begun with a shot of her face and then proceeded in an unbroken take…. He’d probably already uploaded that to God knows how many porn sites…. Or maybe he was holding onto it so he could blackmail her into yet more depraved scenes.
She seemed to read my mind. “Touche. But let’s think about that one later, okay?”
I nodded.
She resumed her story.
“There was this one guy in particular. Danny. Danny O’Connor. High school boy. I saw him around a lot. Lifeguard at the pool. And we used to go watch the high school football games.”
“Let me guess, he was the quarterback?”
“No. I think he was one of the guys who runs up and down the field.”
“Receiver?
She shrugged. “Whatever. He was hot. He looked a little like Luke Perry.”
Or a young Chucky, I thought.
“I remember preening around for him. Trying to get his attention.”
“Did you know what you were doing?” I asked.
“You mean, did I know I was tempting him into defiling my jailbait pussy? No. Not consciously. I was already, um, exploring myself...”
I laughed. At that age I was wanking three times a day.
“...but I wasn’t really fantasizing about s… e… x…. It was more like, you know, he’d be my boyfriend and we’d maybe, I don’t know, kiss or something.”
“I doubt you were ever quite so chaste.”
“I don’t know about you, but for me there was this disconnect. Like, you know, I’d seen some porn. One of my girlfriends, Lacey, I think, God, she was a total nympho, or least talked the talk. Anyway, she had a porno tape. A VHS she’d snatched from her brother. And I admit, it did make me feel… funny. But it wasn’t like, at the time, I imagined that would be me.”
“Okay, fair enough,” I replied. She was right. I remembered that phase as well. Even though I’d seen porn as well, my fantasies also tended to be more along the lines of glorified frottage than anything else.
“Anyway, Danny wasn’t interested. Or maybe he was and I didn’t catch the signs. I don’t know. It wasn’t like an obsession, but… whatever. I guess I’d had my eye on him, but didn’t quite know what to do about it.
“Then one day I was walking home from school, and this pickup truck pulls up. Big tires. Metallic blue. Music blaring. Window comes down, and it’s Danny, offering me a ride.”
“Uh oh. You went with him?”
“So I’m not completely crazy, you know. And there’s this voice in the back of my head saying, no, no! And this other voice,” she chuckled, “saying don’t be a wimp. And what it came down to is that he had two buddies with him.”
“Which scared you away…. Or no, it made you feel safer.”
She tapped her nose. “Yes, clever little me figured climbing into a pickup with three high school boys was safer than one.”
I felt my heart start to race. I had asked for this, but now I didn’t want to hear it. I knew how this story ended, and it sickened me.
“Terri, you don’t –”
But she wasn’t really listening to me anymore. I think she was now telling the story more for herself anyway.
“He opened the door to me. And I tossed my backpack in and climbed in after. Brady hopped in the back with Eladh.”
“You knew them?”
“No. Danny introduced them with a nod. You know, no big deal, there are my buds. Brady was another football player dude, but big, you know….”
“A lineman?”
“One of the guys with the fat asses and the shaved heads. I didn’t know the other guy. Bit of a swarthy look about him.”
“So no one you’d fantasized about.”
“No. I’m pretty sure I considered them beneath me. For all I know I’d turned my nose up at them at some point somewhere. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me if I had.”
I shuddered, remembering my own immature, neanderthal view of girls when I was that age, and in particular what I thought about stuck up bitches and what I’d do to them if I had the chance.
“As we drove off, Danny offered me a cigarette --”
“I didn’t know you smoked.”
“I didn’t! But, of course, I accepted. And amazingly enough I managed to take a puff without coughing out a lung. Which, oh boy, that made me feel so cool, so in control. Wind blowing through my hair, music blaring, sitting next to my crush in his big, cool, truck. Teenage girl heaven.”
For a second, she was back in the moment, a big smile across her face.
“Then,” she continued, “I heard them laughing in the back seat. ‘Told you she likes putting things in her mouth.’ I gave them a fake laugh and said something like, ‘ha ha, real mature,’ but whoa when I turned back to see the effect of my cutting reply, I’m the one who got cut short. I mean, those two….”
She shook her head.
“They had this look like, you know, they hated me. It was almost visceral. Just like
they wanted to hurt me. Hair standing on end kind of situation.”
“So what did you do?” I asked. Despite myself, I’d been drawn into the story.
“I tried to ignore it. Danny was talking to me too. Not even sure what he was saying because I could hear the other two still muttering about me, and I could feel their eyes on me. And I could tell Danny was hearing them too, but he wasn’t reacting.
“I realized I didn’t know where we were going. So I asked. And Danny told me we he just needed to drop by his place and pick up some camping gear. They were going out to the woods to hang out, maybe have a few beers. ‘You should come along.’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool’ and hoping maybe we’d be ditching Brady and Elahd. But Danny kept talking to them like, you know, they were part of the plan.”
She paused as she revisited that moment in her own mind. I saw her in that moment. Scared, but too arrogant to admit it. A young girl in the body of a woman. Instincts battling her desire to be cool.
“And we got to a light, and I just… panicked. It was all of a sudden. I just needed to flee. I grabbed my bag, jumped out of the car, and ran away. I could hear them laughing at me. Calling me a baby and a tease and worse. And I remember being sooo embarrassed.”
Relief surged through me. “You were lucky, if you had stayed...” I trailed off. I wasn’t sure how much she’d actually considered the situation. Whether she knew how close she’d been to real trouble.
She nodded and continued my thought. “They’d have driven me to someplace deserted. Tried to ply me with booze or pot, and then try to convince me that I was being a little girl if I didn’t fool around with them,” she said.
I nodded.
“And if I didn’t play along, they’d probably have raped me,” she added matter-of-factly.
Her tone was enigmatic. I would have expected her to be horrified by her close call, and there was something to that. I could hear relief at escaping a bad situation, but also something else.
“I’d see them around sometimes, and if I did, I’d try to hide my face.”
“You must have been terrified.”
“I was… but also, embarrassed. Like, you know, like I was a baby.”
“You weren’t.”