Anna had wanted an explanation to why the reivers were gone and they still had all of their belongings, but Kai left it to the other men. He couldn’t erase from his mind the look on Finn’s face right before she’d run away. Nor could he erase the sight of a man’s flesh rotting from his bones. A few little gobs of flesh still dotted the deck above.
Kai pounded on the door again. “You can’t stay in there forever!” he shouted.
There was no reply. There hadn’t been any reply since he’d first started knocking. The room locked from both the inside and outside with a key, which Kai possessed, as well as the added bolt on the outside, but the locks did little good seeing as Finn had wedged something underneath the door to keep it in place.
Thoroughly flustered, Kai lowered himself to his stomach on the wooden planking. He peered underneath the door, but it was so dark that it was hard to make anything out. Either her lantern had gone out, or she’d intentionally snuffed it. At a loss, he pushed the long, iron key underneath the door and swiped it from one side to the other. It hit something about halfway across. Noting the location, he withdrew the key, then stabbed it back underneath the door where the blockage was. A wedge of wood came loose and skittered across the floor of the room’s interior.
There was still no sound from Finn. Seriously starting to worry, Kai righted himself and opened the door. The only light in the room came from the open trap door down the hall, but he thought he could make out Finn’s small form on the bed, her face turned toward the wall.
“Finn,” he said, knowing he should say something, though he wasn’t sure what.
“Will I be walking the plank then?” came a tear-strained voice from the bed.
Kai would have laughed if some of the other men hadn’t suggested such a thing only moments before.
“Of course not,” he assured. He still stood just inside the doorway. Normally he was skilled at easing the tension out of any situation, but here, he felt his normal tactics useless.
“You’re afraid of me,” she accused, if an accusal could be made with such an utter lack of emotion.
“That’s not true,” he argued, though part of him was. Who would have thought that sweet little Finn would be capable of something so horrifying? He’d been present what seemed like months ago, when she had called roots up from the earth to crush the life out of someone who’d been trying to kill him, so he knew she had the potential to be dangerous. Yet, this seemed different. This was the stuff of nightmares.
“Then why are you still standing so far away?” she countered, still bundled in her blankets with her back to him. “Usually you’ll take any opportunity you can to invade my space.”
Kai hadn’t noticed at first, but Naoki was curled up in the bedding near Finn’s feet. The little dragon’s eyes reflected the small amount of light in the darkness as it blinked, then continued to watch him.
“Your dragon is standing guard,” Kai joked trying to lighten the mood.
Finn finally turned over in her bed to look at him. Her puffy face stayed half in shadow, but the one eye he could see in the dim light accused him of a thousand wrong-doings. “I met one of the Ceàrdaman while I was in Migris,” she explained. “He told me that I’m a weapon, and that’s why the Cavari want me. I’m meant to destroy, and nothing more. You should probably kill me while you have the chance.”
Kai grunted in frustration, then forced himself forward. If she did to him what she did to the reiver, well, then it was just his time to go. He sat on the bed near Finn’s stomach, in the larger space created by her curled up form. Naoki shot up in protest and scampered up to Finn’s shoulder, where she curled up and trained an accusing eye on Kai.
“That’s like saying that I was born to be a slave, so that’s all I’ll ever be,” Kai countered. Finn knew a bit of his ugly history. She was one of the very few people who did.
Finn buried her face back in her pillow. “It’s not the same,” she argued, the sound muffled by the bedding.
He lifted a hand to place it on her arm, but Naoki let out a low growl. Sighing, Kai moved the hand to the side of Finn’s waist, still covered by blankets. It was probably too intimate a gesture, but he wanted to show her that he wasn’t afraid to touch her. He wasn’t sure why, really, but it seemed important.
“You shouldn’t touch me,” she muttered. “You saw what I did up there.”
“To a man who was trying to kill you,” he added.
“That’s beside the point,” Finn cut in quickly.
Not moving his hand, Kai continued, “Is it? Have you ever harmed a single person who wasn’t trying to do you harm in the first place.”
Finn sat up so suddenly that Naoki had to flutter her wings to maintain her balance on the bed. “That’s just it!” she shouted, suddenly frantic. “I don’t remember anything of my life before. Who knows what I’ve done? The Cavari destroyed Iseult’s people! What if they used me to do it? What if they used me to do even worse?”
His mind simply couldn’t wrap around the idea of Finn slaughtering innocents. She was good. Even after seeing her frightening powers at work, in his mind he still viewed her as purely good.
She was panting like she couldn’t catch her breath, and somehow her face had ended up only inches from Kai’s in her fervor. Her dark eyes stared into his, searching, but for what? Comfort? Absolution?
“We all have our own gifts,” he stated calmly. “It doesn’t matter what they are, because you are forgetting one very important part of being human.”
“And what’s that?” she breathed, her face still so oddly near.
“There’s always a choice,” he replied. “No one can force you to be something, if you choose not to be it.”
She was silent, as if soaking in his words. Even with the grisly scene of the rotting reiver still fresh in his mind, Kai felt the overwhelming urge to kiss her. He leaned closer, and she didn’t move.
Suddenly a beak appeared between their faces. The beak shoved forward until Naoki’s entire head blocked Kai from Finn. He leaned back with a sigh. Blasted dragon.
Finn fell back to the bed as if the last ounce of energy had left her. Naoki curled up in the crook of Finn’s arm while Finn stared absently up at the ceiling. Not knowing what else to do, Kai stood, then crouched near the head of the bed.
“Get some rest,” he said softly.
She nodded, though a few more silent tears fell down her face. She shut her eyes.
Kai stayed with her until her body relaxed into the thrall of sleep, and Naoki made soft snoring noises beside her.
He moved to leave, then thought better of it, and leaned down to kiss Finn’s forehead. Her skin left the salt of sweat and tears on his lips, but he didn’t mind. In that moment he finally realized why he’d been unable to just let Finn go. Why he’d followed her across the countryside, determined to prove to her that he wasn’t the type of man she thought he was.
He straightened and shook his head. Once they reached the Archtree, she would be back with Iseult. They would run off like they’d always wanted, to save the world, or whatever else they had planned, and his life would go back to the way it always had been. It was better that way. He didn’t deserve good. He’d continue to look out for no one, and no one would look out for him.
Bedelia rolled the little glass phial around in her palm as the costal air blew her hair back from her sweaty face. The liquid inside the vial was dark, not something she’d drink without knowing what it was. Her leg ached where the wolf had bitten her. At first she thought the wound would actually heal on its own, but the healing seemed to have halted. When she’d been brave enough to look, she’d seen that the skin around the wound was pallid, the veins underneath an unnatural black, showing through like ugly smudges of ink.
Part of her hoped the wound would kill her. She’d failed her mission and lost the girl. Óengus still seemed optimistic about finding her, and if anyone could, it was him, but Bedelia knew the chances were slim. If Finn had indeed boarded a ship, sh
e would be almost impossible to track. The only way to find her was to know where she was going.
Bedelia cringed as she lifted herself off the railing she’d been resting on, lowering her feet to the wood of the dock. Óengus was attempting to find crewmen for the ship he’d procured, but it was proving difficult. It gave Bedelia a small amount of satisfaction, even though she would have liked to get on with things.
She stared out at the ocean, licking her cracked lips as the harsh, salty air coated her skin. She didn’t want to believe that Finn had abandoned her intentionally. They were friends, after all.
She laughed bitterly at her thoughts, then shook her head. She didn’t have friends. She had duty, and she liked to think she had her own version of honor, but not friends.
As Óengus came into view at the end of the pier, his silver hair glinting in the sunlight, she slipped the glass vial into her pocket. She tried to stand tall, belying her illness, but knew that it showed in the sickly sweat on her face, and the way she was forced to hold herself to avoid unnecessary pressure on her leg.
“It’s time to go,” he announced as he reached her, his abnormally pale eyes cold.
She nodded, feigning courage.
He looked down at her injured leg, as if sensing its disability through the thick fabric of her breeches. “Try not to be a burden,” he grunted before turning on his heel, expecting her to follow.
She hobbled after him, once again strongly considering sticking a dagger in his back. Surely Keiren would understand that she couldn’t suffer such an intolerable man to live?
Bedelia groaned against the pain in her leg as she continued to follow, not reaching for her dagger. Who was she kidding? Even if the world was coming to an end, Óengus would find a way to survive, and here she was, dying of a silly wolf bite.
Chapter Nine
Finn squinted her eyes as she struggled to see through the fog. Unable to bear another moment within the confines of her cabin, she’d mustered the courage to go back on deck with Naoki as moral support. She still feared that someone might try harming her little dragon, but the men of the ship now seemed to be more frightened of Finn than they were of the Faie creature.
She sighed as she leaned her hands against the ship’s railing, with Naoki curled around her shoulders. The young dragon was a touch too heavy for her small frame, but she hadn’t the heart to shoo her away. It was comforting to have a friend, even one that couldn’t speak to offer her any advice.
Of course, advice would have been useless in Finn’s situation. There was nothing she could do to change who she was, just as she couldn’t change the fact that she was stuck on an unmoving ship. The air was thick with fog, disorienting her more than the sway of the ocean waves already had. At least she no longer felt like she might lose her lunch.
Kai stood a few feet away, seemingly pretending not to notice her, but she knew better. He was either watching her to make sure she didn’t jump into the ocean, or he was watching the crew to make sure they didn’t push her in.
She had seen no sign of Anna. She must really be enjoying her cabin to be spending so much time within its confines. Anna’s cabin was larger than hers, but she still didn’t understand how someone could surround themselves with wooden walls for such prolonged periods of time.
Naoki chittered near her ear, indicating that someone was approaching, though Finn had already noticed the sound of boots on deck. Kai appeared by her side. Maybe he’d be the one to push her into the ocean.
“Feeling better?” he questioned, gazing out into the fog as he leaned his arms against the railing.
Finn inhaled deeply. Naoki’s tight wrap around her was almost strangling. The dragon did not like Kai, and Finn couldn’t say that she blamed her. “I’ll feel better once we reach the Archtree,” she replied softly.
Kai was silent for a moment, then asked, “What will you do once we’re there?”
Finn glanced at him suspiciously, debating whether or not she should tell him the truth. She settled for being vague. “The Archtree’s leaves have the power to answer your heart’s most important question. If you are not tricking me, Iseult and I will find the answers to our questions, then we will decide what must be done from there.”
Kai frowned. “That much I had gathered, just as I have gathered that Iseult searches for the shroud. What I don’t understand, is what’s in it for you?”
Finn frowned in return. At some point she’d shifted away from the railing to face Kai, and he’d done the same. He already knew about the shroud, and about the Archtree, so why was he trying to garner more information. Was this all a trick so he could steal the one thing Iseult wanted most?
Finn crossed her arms, then immediately had to uncross them to steady herself on the railing. Naoki made her top-heavy, throwing her off balance. “I’ll know what happened to me. I’ll know if my people are good or evil. I’ll know if I’m good or evil.”
Kai stood on his own, perfectly balanced, with no need to steady himself on the railing. He had a strange expression on his face, like he was biting his tongue to keep words from coming out of his mouth.
“What?” Finn asked sharply, already offended.
Kai sighed, glanced at Naoki, who was staring at him as hard as Finn was, then explained, “It just seems to me that all of those questions are irrelevant. It doesn’t matter what happened in your past, because you’re here now. I’d think it much more useful to ask questions of the present or future, of things you can actually change.”
Finn crossed her arms again, this time spreading her feet wide to maintain her balance. “And what will you ask the Archtree that’s so much better?”
Kai seemed genuinely surprised. “I hadn’t considered asking it anything, really. Especially given that it’s probably just a regular old tree, and won’t tell us a thing.”
Finn felt her expression fall. Kai raised his hands up in a soothing gesture, as if to stop her trail of thoughts.
“I didn’t mean to take away your hope,” he said quickly. “Even if the tree isn’t real, you can still find your answers.”
Finn felt on the verge of tears. She had been struggling blindly toward the Archtree, comforting herself with the thought that if she could just make it there, everything would make sense.
“I’m sure the tree will tell you what you need to know,” he amended. “Don’t worry about it.”
Finn shook her head. Why was he being so nice to her? “No,” she replied softly. “No, you’re right. I don’t know anything, and that’s not likely to change. I don’t even know how to be a proper person. Even if I manage to get answers from the Archtree, I’ll still be this . . . mess. A tool for others to use without me even knowing it.”
Kai opened his mouth, but didn’t seem to know what to say. Finn didn’t blame him. Some of the other men on deck were glancing at them suspiciously.
“Finn-” he began, and she just knew that something comforting was about to come out of his mouth, and she couldn’t bear to hear it.
She took a sudden step back, jostling Naoki, who let out a little squawk. With a final look at Kai, she turned on her heel and hurried away, as quickly as possible with Naoki on her shoulders, back toward the little trap door that would lead to her cabin.
As she descended the darkly lit stairs, she began to cry. She wasn’t even sure why she was upset, or why it mattered so much that Kai thought the Archtree was a myth. She would still be reunited with Iseult and Àed, and they’d know what to do.
As she reached her cabin, she finally realized just what had really bothered her. She’d wanted the tree to tell her that she was capable and strong, and good. If it could not, then she would have to continue to depend on others. Unfortunately, she was far from realizing that the things she needed to hear were the types of things humans had to find on their own.
Anna tossed and turned, tangled in her bedding. She’d been spending most of her time in her cabin, if only to keep the crew from thinking she’d gone mad.
T
he dreams had gotten worse, and the lines between what was real, and what was in her head, were blurring. Though she only entered the gray place while she slept, she’d started seeing things in waking. The light that emanated from Finn and other magical beings was nothing new, but she was beginning to see a different type of light from the crewmen. Some were muted and dark, others more vibrant. Kai was a shade of serene green that she didn’t mind as much as the others.
Anna hadn’t wanted to go back to sleep, but her restless nights had left her unbelievably tired. Still, her brain, out of fear of what would happen, was keeping her awake.
Kai had been pestering her frequently, wondering what was the matter. He’d also informed her that Finn had adopted a baby dragon. The funny thing was, Anna had believed him immediately. If she could be held hostage by the Ceàrdaman, and could have her brain altered to the point where people shone like stars, then a baby dragon was entirely believable.
She flipped onto her back and thunked her arms down against the bed with a huff, blowing her tangled hair out of her face. Kai had assured her that he knew the way to the Archtree. He’d had a peek at a map that Iseult carried. It wasn’t much to go on, but she trusted Kai’s judgement in the matter, even if she could no longer trust his judgement on . . . other things.
The greedy survivalist in Anna still wanted to find the shroud of the Faie Queen, but perhaps that could be the question that Kai would ask the Archtree. She had too many other questions that needed answers.
She could just ask Finn in the meantime, but why would she help the person who’d twice kidnapped her? If Finn hated her, well, Anna felt she deserved it.
A knock on her cabin door made her groan. It was likely Kai again. Anna warred with emotions of annoyance and love. Kai was the only person in the world that actually cared what happened to her, even if he was a pest.
Tree of Ages Box Set Page 38