by Cole Gibsen
He cocked his head. “You know what I’m doing here. It’s the Snowflake Ball and you agreed to go with me.”
“Like hell I did.” I practically spit the words at him.
“Uh, yeah. You did.” He thrust the small cardboard box at me. “For you.”
I pushed it away. “I don’t want your box. And I never agreed to anything.”
He grinned. “Of course you did. It was all in the letter I sent you last night—the one you obviously read. In the letter I clearly stated if you didn’t want to go to the dance with me, you could either call or text to let me know. Since I didn’t hear from you, I knew you accepted my invitation.”
Anger burned through my veins and I fought the urge to slam my head against the door. I should have known Nolan would try to use a trick as a dance invitation. Deception was a favorite ploy of his. If only I’d read the damned purple envelope. “That’s not—”
“I’m going to assume you’re ready to go,” he cut me off. “You look beautiful.” He gestured to the door. “Shall we?”
To my annoyance, a blush burned up my cheeks. Get it together, Regan. What do you care what Nolan Letner thinks? “I’m only going to tell you one more time because you’re obviously having trouble understanding. I am not going anywhere with you. End of story.”
“What if I told you I had a limo?”
I looked behind him, and sure enough, a black stretch limo waited in the driveway. I shrugged. “I’d tell you you’re going to have a lot of room to stretch out inside that limo all by yourself.”
“I’m not by myself.” He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “Payton’s with me.”
As if on cue, Payton emerged from the sunroof wearing a purple strapless dress. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a mass of curls and rhinestone hair clips. She waved. “Are you ready to go?”
Pressure throbbed beneath my temples. How was it Nolan had been here less than five minutes and I already had a headache brewing? I turned back to him and exhaled loudly. “You could have both Hemsworth brothers inside that limo and I still wouldn’t get in. I’m not going. Now please leave.”
He grabbed my hand before I could reach for the door. I recoiled from his touch as if it’d burned me. His shoulders drooped and the humor left his face. “Regan, I…” He swallowed. “No. This isn’t about me. Let me start over.”
I folded my arms, waiting.
“I think you’re amazing,” he said. “What I did to you was unforgivable.”
“Yes it was.” I grabbed the door and tried to push it closed. “Good-bye.”
He stopped the door with his hand. “Please. Let me finish.”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.
“I started Life Unaware with Blake because I wanted justice for Jordan. But somehow justice became confused with revenge. By the time I figured that out and decided to scrap the entire project, the damage was done. If I could, I would take back all of the pain I caused you, every ounce of it, even if it meant you and I never got together.” He lifted a hand as if he might touch my face. Instead, his fingers hovered in the air so close to my cheek I could feel the heat radiate off his skin.
A lump formed in my throat and I fought the urge to close the distance between us. I hated myself then, the weakness inside me that, despite his betrayal, still longed for his touch.
Luckily, Nolan dropped his hand, and my coiled muscles unwound. “And that’s saying something,” he said as he curled his fingers into fists. “After Jordan—you know—I thought I’d never be happy again. But you came along and…God.” He shook his head. “I knew I should have told you from the beginning, but Regan, I was scared shitless I was going to lose you, and I was desperate not to let that happen. Now that I have lost you, it’s every bit the hell I imagined it would be.”
My chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe. I wanted to believe him, to fall into his arms like I had when Amber was talking shit about me in the bathroom. Only now, he was the one who’d hurt me and there was nowhere to run. “Nolan, please go.” I spoke softly to keep my voice from cracking. “And take your bullshit with you.”
He nodded as if he’d expected me to say as much. “Okay. I will. But I want you to know our project is being unveiled tonight at the Snowflake Ball.”
“Your project,” I said.
“Ours. It was your idea. I just implemented it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Doesn’t matter.”
His head jerked up. “It does. This project is amazing. It’s changed the entire school. Once other schools get wind of it, it might change theirs, too. Your mom arranged for the media to be there tonight for the unveiling. I thought you should be there to get the credit you deserve.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.
“Even if it means I’m not.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
He gestured to the limo. “It’s yours. Well, yours and Payton’s. The driver has already been paid. I can walk home from here, and I promise I won’t go to the dance. I want you to be there—to see the amazing thing you created. Stay for five minutes or stay for the whole night—it’s up to you. Just go and see what you started.” He gave me a sad smile. “You won’t be disappointed.”
“Are you coming?” Payton called from the limo.
I chewed on my lip. I really had no desire to hang out at the dance, but I couldn’t deny the curiosity welling inside me over Nolan’s secret project—especially since it was supposedly my idea. And if Nolan wasn’t going to be there, that only made me want to go more. “I can really leave anytime I want?”
“Anytime.” He nodded.
“So I could basically walk in and walk right back out?”
He shrugged. “It’s your limo now. You do what you want.”
I folded my arms. “I’m not going to put on a dress.”
“Fine with me. You look hot no matter what you wear.”
I glared at him and he raised his hands in defense. “I’m never going to be anything but honest with you ever again.”
I glanced over his shoulder at Payton who waved me over. “Hurry. We’re going to be late.”
I pushed my shoulders back and sucked in a breath. “Fine. I’ll go. But just long enough to see what this secret project has been about, and then I’m out.”
“Then you’ll need this.” He held out the box.
“I told you I’m not getting dressed up. The last thing I want is a corsage.”
“You’ll need this. Take it.” He placed the box in my hand. “Now you better get going. You’re not going to want to miss a thing.”
Hoping I wasn’t making a giant mistake, I locked the front door by punching in a code on the knob. When I approached the limo, the driver was already out and waiting with the door open.
Payton squealed when I ducked inside. “I’m so glad you agreed to come. You won’t regret it.” The driver shut the door and her smile wavered. She moved to glance out the window. “Wait. What about Nolan?”
I followed her gaze. Nolan stood on the porch and waved. “He said he’d stay home so I could go.”
“Oh.” Payton sat back against the black leather seat. “That was nice.”
I fought the urge to tell her he could make a million nice gestures and it still wouldn’t cancel out the lying and damage he’d done. Instead, I said, “He gave me this.” I lifted the cardboard box.
She quirked an eyebrow. “A corsage? Let’s have a look.”
“Fine. But I’m not going to wear it.” I slid my finger under the lid and popped it open. I’d expected the traditional trio of red roses pinned together with baby’s breath. Instead, the box held a single black Sharpie on a bed of tissue paper. “What the—?” I took the Sharpie out of the box and held it to Payton.
Her eyes lit up. She smiled coyly before quickly clasping her hand over her mouth.
“I don’t get it.” I placed the Sharpie back in the box as the limo pulled onto the street. I resisted the urge to glance throug
h the back window for one last peek at Nolan. “Is this supposed to mean something to me?”
“Not yet.” Payton shook her head, still hiding her grin behind her hand. “But it will.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
The limo stopped in front of the high school. A moment later the chauffeur pulled our door open and offered his hand. I pointed a finger at him as I climbed out of the car. “Don’t go anywhere. I won’t be long.” I had no intention of lingering inside a gymnasium full of balloons, crepe paper, and formal wear when I still wore my breeches and riding boots. Still, curiosity steeped inside my mind like tea, and I wasn’t about to leave until I had the answers I sought.
He gave a curt nod. “Yes ma’am. I’ll stay parked out front.”
Payton climbed out of the limo after me and grabbed my arm. “Ready?”
Am I? Ribbons of anxiety threaded through my ribs. What waited for me inside?
Payton removed a small square of card stock from her clutch with the words “Saint Mary’s Snowflake Ball” printed on the front.
I sucked in a breath when I realized this whole venture was for nothing. “I can’t get in. I never bought a ticket.”
Payton laughed. “Trust me when I say no one will care.”
I frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means we’re late.” She tugged my arm. “Come on.”
She led me along the sidewalk, past the front school entrance, around the side of the main building to the double glass doors of the gymnasium. A news van was parked on the sidewalk with its antenna extended. Several girls with curled hair and sequined dresses clustered by the front entrance talking and laughing.
A nauseous wave crashed through my stomach. I pulled free from Payton’s grip and prayed I wouldn’t hurl on the sidewalk.
She stopped, her lips pinched in a frown. “What’s up?”
I wrapped an arm around my queasy gut. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” Inside the building before me were hundreds of students—students who’d seen the video, who knew the things I’d done. Bile burned up my throat. “I can’t—I just can’t.”
“Regan.” She held a hand out to me. “I’ll be with you. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”
“I’m sorry, Pay.” I shook my head and took several steps backward. “I just can’t.”
“Hey, Regan,” one of the girls called out to me.
I froze. So much for my getaway. My muscles tensed and I waited for their insults.
Juliette, a short brunette sophomore wearing a blue satin dress, ran up to me. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re here. How are you doing? Everyone’s been so worried about you.”
Two other girls in her group jogged to join us while a third, who obviously wasn’t as practiced walking in heels, wobbled precariously. She teetered to the side and caught herself by grasping on to the arm of the girl beside her.
“Yeah,” Mindy, a junior I recognized from the pom squad, agreed. “We think your project is amazing. I mean, I know it won’t last forever, but the way people have been treating each other is awesome. I actually look forward to coming to school now.”
The other girls voiced their agreement.
Confusion rolled through me. I searched Payton’s face, to see if this was some kind of joke. She only smiled and shrugged.
“I really love your outfit,” the girl who couldn’t walk in heels added. “It’s so unique—so you.” The three girls with her nodded their heads, making them look like a cluster of bobbleheads.
“I know.” Mindy clapped her hands together. “I’m going to write that down.”
“Ooh, great idea,” Sarah said. Before I could ask them what they were talking about, they scampered off toward the gymnasium.
I turned to Payton. “What is going on?” I’d expected dirty looks and insults, not…whatever the hell that was.
She laughed as she waved me toward her. “Come on.”
Reluctantly, I followed her through the double doors into the wide space outside the gymnasium. The dance committee had a folding table set up next to a Pepsi vending machine. Two bored-looking freshman boys sat behind it wearing white dress shirts and loose-fitting ties. They took tickets from a short line of couples waiting to enter the gymnasium.
“I don’t have a ticket,” I reminded Payton as the line progressed.
She waved a hand dismissively. The couple in front of us handed their tickets over and we moved to the front of the table. “Here’s my ticket.” Payton set her ticket on the table. “And this is Regan Flay. She doesn’t need a ticket, obviously.”
Both boys jerked upright. “Of course not,” the one on the left said. “Go right in. Everyone’s waiting for her.”
I frowned. “Why are people waiting for me?”
Payton snagged my arm and pulled me away from the table before they could answer. “Got that pen ready?”
I touched the Sharpie I’d clipped to my shirt collar—riding breeches didn’t exactly have room for pockets. “Why? What’s going on?”
A couple who’d been sharing a soda by the door smiled at me. “Good to see you, Regan.” The guy tipped the soda can in greeting as I passed by.
I pressed closer to Payton. All this niceness after the weeks of bullying was really starting to freak me out. Had the school been taken over by aliens while I was gone? Or maybe this entire thing was a setup to get me onstage so they could pour blood over my head à la Carrie. I shuddered.
“Will you stop freaking out?” Payton whispered in my ear. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise.” She stopped in front of the open gymnasium doors. The lights were dim and a dance mix blared from a DJ booth onstage. Throngs of students thrashed together in the middle of the basketball court in a massive sequin-covered mass. “Ready?”
Ice flooded my veins. “No.”
“Too bad.” She pushed me inside.
I squinted, trying to adjust my eyes to the disco lighting that hung from the ceiling and flashed a rainbow of colored lights and lasers onto the floor.
“It’s Regan,” came a voice from behind me.
“She’s here,” another said.
“Stop the music.” Several others issued the command until, a minute later, the music was cut off and the gymnasium lights flashed on. The dancers stopped moving, staring confusedly at one another until gradually their gazes turned to me. A low murmuring rumbled through the crowd.
Shit. My heart beat rapidly and a trickle of sweat wove down my spine. What had I just walked into? I took a step back only to collide into Payton.
“Regan. Honey. Over here.”
I whipped my head in the direction of the familiar voice. My father stood beside Mrs. Lochte and Principal McDill. All of them smiled warmly and raised their glasses of punch.
“Welcome back,” Principal McDill said. “We’re all so very proud of you.”
I waved my fingers as a nervous flutter spread through my stomach. A million questions surged through my mind. Why was she proud? Why was everyone staring at me? And what on earth was Dad doing here?
I moved to ask him when I realized he wasn’t the only one.
Several feet away, a reporter held a microphone to my mother. I edged my way closer. Maybe if I could listen in on her interview I could get some idea of what was going on? Before I reached her, someone stepped in front of me, blocking my path. Christy’s hair was pinned to the side of her head, and she wore a long burgundy gown. Unlike everyone else around me, she wasn’t smiling.
I took a cautious step back. Of all the people who hated me, Christy had the most right to. After all, if it weren’t for the video I took, her girlfriend might not have tried to kill herself. I bit my lip and waited for whatever attack she had planned—it wasn’t like I didn’t deserve it.
Payton stepped up beside me and gave a reassuring smile. Warmth bubbled through my chest and I smiled back. At least I wouldn’t have to face Christy alone.
“I know you weren’t responsible for the video being shown,” Chri
sty said.
I blinked. That wasn’t the reaction I’d expected.
“I also know Blake was the one who sent notes to each of us to get us all in the locker room at the same time,” Christy continued. “She used to show up to the same LGBT support group I attend. I guess she somehow figured out who I was seeing and decided to use you to expose Amber.”
My throat tightened at the mention on her name. “How is Amber?”
Christy gave a weak smile. “A lot better. Even though being forced out isn’t the way for anyone to come out, I think she’s relieved that people know. Her parents were actually pretty cool about the whole thing.” She bit her lip. “I know a lot of hurt passed between you two, so Amber might never thank you and Nolan for saving her life.” She reached for my hand and squeezed it. “But I will. Thank you.”
I wanted to say something back, but the words tangled into a knot inside my throat.
Christy released my hand. “I expected this really huge backlash after people found out about me, but I’ve received nothing but support. I know a large part of that is due to your project. It’s had a really huge impact on the school—everyone thinks so.”
I glanced over my shoulder to find the motionless dancers still staring at me. They were waiting for something—I just had no idea what. “Um…I wish I could take credit for that but…”
Christy’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s right. You haven’t seen it yet. Come on.” She started toward the crowd of dancers and motioned me to follow.
“Go on,” Payton urged before giving me a little push.
“Uh, okay.” I forced myself to take slow, even steps forward. When I reached the edge of the crowd, the dancers parted, making a path for me to pass through. I swallowed hard and rubbed my damp palms along my pants. Once I stepped forward I’d be surrounded, giving them the perfect opportunity to pelt me with dog food, pig blood, or worse. Still, I wouldn’t run. If they wanted revenge for all the pain I’d caused, I’d let them have it. I closed my eyes and stepped forward.
Time to face karma, Regan.
After several steps, when nothing hit me, I opened my eyes. A girl next to me in a floor-length gown started clapping. The guy beside her hooted. He was followed by several more shouts and whistles until the entire gymnasium was filled with thunderous cheers.