by Ann Marie
Josephine had forgotten how annoyed she was that everyone seemed to know about Anthony’s business, everyone except her. She tried to keep her temper in check as she responded, but the pain in her head seemed to expand and she held her teeth tight in an attempt to control it. “Chloe, I need to know where to find this Doctor, I need to know now!”
“Sure, sure, I’m sorry, let me run and grab Antonia’s appointment card off the fridge. The phone number should be on it, just a sec.” Josephine heard the phone being placed on the table. ‘It’s a cell phone.’ she thought to herself, ‘why would she put it down?
“Ms. Ferrero, are you still there? Hello?” Josephine had been staring into the receiver without realizing it.
“Yes, Chloe, I’m still here and still waiting I might add, what the hell did you put the phone down for?”
“Well, I had...”
“Not now Chloe, the number dammit, give me the number.”
Josephine wrote the number down and dialed the phone again while driving down the main highway through town. It wasn’t for another two miles before she realized she had no clue as to where she was headed. She pulled the Benz to the side of the road as the receptionist at Carides office picked up.
“Dr. Carides office, how may I help you?”
“Yes, hello, this is Josephine Ferrero, is Dr. Carides available?”
“He is with patients at the moment, would you like to hold or would you prefer to call back this afternoon?”
“No, what I would really like,” She halts herself and calms her tone. “What I need to know right now is where you are located.”
“Sure, we are located three blocks North of St. Bartholomew’s. Do you know where the hospital is?” Josephine stares at the receiver incredulously.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No ma’am, why would I joke about that? Three blocks to the left. In the pavilions, Suite 308 B. Would you like to make an app...” Josephine stabbed at the disconnect button with her thumb and proceeded to throw the cell phone to the floor of the Benz on the passenger side. Where the hell did she think she was driving to anyway? She smacked the steering wheel with both hands and threw her head back against the seat in disgust. Bringing her left elbow up to the windows edge she ran her fingers through her hair and looked out into traffic. Squinting from the sun, she chased a sharp pain across her head.
The sound of a big rig’s horn honking drew her attention to the far side of the road. Two, twenty-something men were arguing over what looked like a fender bender. One of the men, Josephine noticed, was wearing a “Rocky” T-shirt. ‘Boy was that ages ago.’ Josephine thought to herself.
A breeze blew through the open window of the Benz and she closed her eyes to enjoy the feel against her face.
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“Well, are ya coming or what?”
“No way dude, you’re on your own.”
“He won’t ask her, he ain’t got no balls”
“Yea? Just sit back and watch and I’ll show you just what these here balls are for.” Grabbing his crotch, the older of the four boys strutted his stuff over to where Josephine and Antonia were window shopping. The girls had to get special permission to go out to the mall to shop for Christmas. While they were there, they couldn’t help but be attracted to the windows full of the latest fashions. Antonia noticed the boy heading their way from the reflection in the window. Immediately her guard went up and she tried in vain to get Josephine to move away from the store front.
“Come on Joe, we should really get busy or we will end up going back empty handed.”
“I have to try it on Ant, come on, let’s go inside for just a minute.”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea.” Antonia felt the boy standing behind her. She grabbed at Josephine’s arm to pull her away. “Joe, please let’s get...”
“I think you should try it on.” Josephine turned her head quickly at the strange voice. She smiled up at his charming face and blushed.
“Really? You think I should? See Ant, he thinks I should try it on.”
“I think you should, I would like to see you in it, if you wouldn’t mind.” Josephine gave Antonia a back off glance.
The boy let his index finger run through Josephine’s hair.
“Hey, aren’t you the girl in that movie, what was it called?”
“Yea, that’s me, how did you know?”
“Are you kidding me? A girl like you stands out in a guy’s memory.” Antonia rolled her eyes and started to walk away. She believed Josephine was going to follow her, but instead Josephine walked off in the opposite direction, hopelessly lost in conversation with the boy. Building her up with compliments, the boy was able to totally misdirect Josephine. It was not long before that they were heading down a forgotten hallway in the strip mall. The three other boys were already waiting in the shadows. “I just need to get a drink; there is a fountain down here by the restrooms.”
“I should really get back to my friend.” Josephine realized she had lost sight of Anthony. She felt a touch of nerves but dismissed it.
“OK, I’ll hurry; it will only take a minute.” The friends took positions across the corridor. They could see everything from where they stood.
Looking up from the fountain, the boy smiled at Josephine. She smiled back and once again was lost in his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, pretending shyness. Josephine was not sure what to say and he did not wait for a response. He placed his left hand against the wall behind her head and pulled her face to his with his right. He kissed her softly at first. She fell right into his trap. “Wow, that was nice.” He said smoothly through a smile. His second kiss was soft, but a bit longer. He looked into her eyes cautiously as he brought his body in towards hers. His third kiss was hard and controlling as he pushed her up against the wall. He took his mouth off of hers as he whispered in her ear. “Have you ever done it?” Panic took over and Josephine could not answer. She could not breathe as she searched the hallway for help. She saw the others standing guard across the corridor. They smiled at her. One giggled like a child. Another was rubbing himself in a manner that brought a blush to Josephine’s face. Her admirer regained her attention as he pushed his hand up her shirt and grabbed hungrily at her chest. She tried to scream but he covered her mouth with his, and gagged her with his tongue. She was beating at his chest as he unzipped his pants.
What happened next was still a blur to Josephine. A lot of screaming from the boys as they were beaten unmercifully to piles of crying flesh. Josephine’s attacker looked up long enough to realize his mistake to late. Antonia had laid him out with one blow to the center of his face, succeeding in both breaking his nose and knocking out a front tooth. Josephine watched in shock as he fell to the floor with a pop that had to require stitches to the back of his head. Antonia never said a word as she grabbed Josephine’s wrist and escorted her from the hallway, back into the mall and straight outside to where Josephine’s car was waiting for them. They drove back to school in silence and empty handed. Once back at the school, Josephine headed straight for the showers, Antonia headed straight for the chapel. Not a single word about the subject was ever exchanged between the girls. It was as if it had never happened.
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“Ma`am? Ma`am, are you alright? Did you witness the accident?”
Josephine snapped back to reality. “No, no officer, no I didn’t see anything. I pulled over to make a phone call.” They both glanced over at the cell phone, lying on the floor on the passenger side off the Benz. “I am alright, really, I have to go. Thanks for asking though.” Josephine pulled away and pretended not to hear the arguing still going on across the highway. She had forgotten about the mall incident, completely wiped it out of her mind. Anthony had saved her from a certain rape. She had never thanked her for that. Never thanked her for so many things.
In a matter of minutes she was back
where she started and passing the hospital. Josephine never noticed the man crossing the street as she made the left turn into the pavilions. The man had to sidestep to avoid being run down. But he didn’t seem to notice either and kept on walking as if nothing had happened. Josephine circled the building completely before finding suite 308B.
Four women sat in the waiting room. An older woman, perhaps sixtyish, another very tiny woman, who looked very nervous and two twenty-something’s; one of which was ready to explode with child. Josephine crossed the room as quietly as possible. The receptionist recognized her immediately. “Ms. Ferrero, how nice to see you. Do you think, would you mind...” She thrust a pad into Josephine’s face. “To Arlene, I would really appreciate it.” Josephine looked at the pad and pen. Reaching out to take it from the receptionist, she looked at the woman.
“How about you get the doctor for me first.”
“The doctor is with patients at the moment ma’am.”
“Well why don’t you run back there and tell him I am here to see him.” She held up both the pen and the pad and gave Arlene a look that said ‘Do it or else.’ The receptionist slowly stood and hesitated a moment before turning to relay the message. Josephine fulfilled her part of the bargain, writing ‘To Arlene, thanks for all your help.’ She withheld the signature until the woman returned and allowed her entrance, through the door. She then, much to the delight of Arlene, scribbled her signature quickly as she was told to have a seat inside the doctor’s office.
“He will be with you in a moment Ms. Ferrero, thank you so much.” The receptionist waved the autograph back at her.
Josephine watched the clock on the wall. She watched as the second hand completed six full rotations before the doctor entered his office. “Ms. Ferrero, good morning. I trust everything is OK with Antonia. She is a strong and healthy woman. I expect she will make a full and speedy recovery, although I am not familiar with the details of all of her injuries as they relate outside the womb. I am saddened at the loss of the child. Antonia was very excited about the pregnancy and sharing such a special gift with you. I am afraid I must tell you, she will not be able to make another attempt. We had to perform a complete hysterectomy, I am sure Luke mentioned this to you.”
Josephine just sat and stared at the doctor. She was not at all sure what to say. He in turn was confused by her silence. He looked at her questioningly. “Ms. Ferrero? Is there something else? Perhaps something that I am not aware of?” He reached for his coffee and took a sip. He got the impression that she is mentally somewhere else. “Ms. Ferrero, ma`am, are you alright?” Her attention was regained as he placed his cup back down on the desk top.
“The baby, I need to know about the baby.”
“Sure, what would you like to know?”
“Where did it come from?” The doctor sat up straight in his chair and arched his eyebrow.
“Excuse me?”
“Anthony’s baby, who, how was she...”
“Ms. Ferrero, you are not questioning paternity, are you?”
“I...I’m not sure.”
“I am sorry, I have patients to see. I am sure you are in shock from your loss, and truly I wish there were something that I could do to alleviate your distress. You are truly blessed to have such a friend as Antonia. Someone willing put herself through so much. She is going to need your support when she is able to learn of the loss. This child may not have been hers but the inability to ever carry a child again...the blow to her may be two fold. She will undoubtedly be concerned for you and your loss, but she will need to accept her loss as well. Although she is a strong woman, she too easily overlooks her own feelings in order to see to someone else’s needs.” With that said the doctor stood to offer his goodbye. He told Josephine to take as long as she needed and to stop back again any time, with or without an appointment.
As the door closed behind him, Josephine flinched at the sound, feeling as though she had just been slapped in the face. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. What the hell was wrong with her? It came back to her with the speed of a freight train. It seemed like a lifetime ago but it had been less than a year. The maternal instinct had come upon her. She wanted a child. Her schedule never allowed for pregnancy. Fact was the whole idea scared her to death and she did not like not being scared. She was afraid she would not be any good at the whole pregnancy thing. Afraid of how she might look, what people might say. She had several of her eggs frozen, just in case.
Antonia had mentioned that she would love to carry a child. She did not have the desire to be a mother though. Did not want to be committed to a child when there were so many people in the world with needs. She had offered to carry a child for Josephine. Josephine remembered the morning Antonia had found out the procedure had worked. She was so happy for Josephine. Josephine was jealous and angry. She had not expected to feel that way. Never in a million years had she anticipated the feeling of hate towards Anthony. But it was there and she could not lose it. So instead she blocked it out. Apparently she had done such a good job she completely forgot Anthony was pregnant. Hell, she never even noticed the damn appointment card on the fridge. Anthony was carrying her child. Her child was now dead. Anthony would never be able to carry another child. Josephine could not breathe. She needed to get out of the office. She stumbled along the hall blinded from the tears in her eyes. Arlene was quick to get to her feet.
“Ma’am, are you alright?”
“Need air, please, I just need to get outside.” Arlene took hold of Josephine’s arm and led her through the door and the waiting room. She stayed with Josephine outside on the walk until she was certain the woman was OK. Josephine entered her car and closed her door hoping to shut out all the sorrow she was feeling. It didn’t help at all. She sat in the parking lot and cried until she had no more tears. After a while, her sides hurt and she had the hiccups. She wondered what kind of a monster she had become and how it had happened. She felt herself getting angry with Anthony. Angry that her friend had not told her what she had become. Angry that Anthony had not stopped her. She needed to get back to the hospital. She needed to see Anthony. She pulled out of the parking lot and turned in the opposite direction, driving a full mile before realizing it and turning the car around.
Chapter 18
Josephine had no idea where she wanted to go after she left the doctor’s office. She needed to think, to clear her head. She needed to talk to someone but whom? The only person in the world she could ever talk to was Antonia. But after causing her to hyperventilate earlier, she wasn’t sure she should go back to the hospital right away. She could go home and talk with either Billy or Chloe, but that would never make her feel any better. ‘Oh Anthony,’ she thought to herself. ‘What the hell have I gotten you into this time?’
A police cruiser pulled past her, with its lights flashing. “Barsky.” She said out loud, to no one. Mentally she had decided she was going to speak with the Lieutenant. Josephine really did not know what she would talk to the woman about. But she felt comforted by the decision, so she felt it was the right one. Ten minutes later she again was sitting at the woman’s desk.
“Ms. Ferrero, I must admit I hadn’t expected you to come back today.”
“Have you made any progress?”
“No, I am afraid we really don’t have much to go on. I am curious though; do you have the party guest list with you?”
“No actually, I was in the neighborhood and thought I might just stop in.”
Barsky wasn’t buying that and raised an eyebrow in question. “Have either you, yourself or Ms. Dal Santo had any disputes with anyone recently? Any bad business deals? Are you both OK financially?”
Josephine had the slight feeling of being chastised but dismissed it. “I can’t think of anything that would cause anyone to shoot me.”
“So you are certain then, that you were the target?”
“I think I was. I can’t be sure, but I think Anthony was...” Josephine caught herself and tried to rethink her words
. “She was...she saved my life. She saw the gunman and pushed...tossed me out of the way.” Again Barsky’s eyebrows went on alert.
Barsky pushed back on her chair and twisted a pencil thoughtfully between her two index fingers and thumbs. “How can you be sure Antonia, Ms. Dal Santo, saw the gunman? I thought the two of you were having a dispute at the time of the shooting. Perhaps your disagreement had become physical. Perhaps someone witnessed the event and decided they did not want Ms. Dal Santo to put her hands on you in anger. Perhaps it was the shooter who was saving your life.”
“That’s insane. You can’t possibly believe that. Anthony would never hurt me. She could never hurt anyone. Yes, we were having an argument, although I could not tell you what it was about at the moment. But Anthony would never lay a finger on me in anger. I know this first hand.” She giggled a little. “Lord knows I have given her more than enough reason to take a swing. She could do some serious damage though. I have seen her bust a nose with one shot. And Billy can tell you about her martial arts training. She was some big body guard for the Sisters of Mercy over in Calcutta.” It was Josephine’s turn to sit back in thought. “You know,” she added, “I have known Anthony my whole life, and I have never seen her lose her temper, not once. I have never seen her angry.”
“Never?” Barsky let the word hang in the air for a moment before continuing. “You said you witnessed her bust a nose. She wasn’t angry when she did this? What, was it an accident?”
“No, I mean I don’t...” Josephine stopped to think.
“You don’t what?”
“I don’t think she was angry when it happened. I don’t think Anthony...it just kinda happened. She was...well she was protecting me. She just walked up from out of nowhere and popped the guy. She didn’t look angry. Come to think of it, she didn’t look anything. Ya know? Kinda like she knew she was in control and it came natural. She grabbed my arm and we left. We never talked about it but I never got the impression she was angry, just confident. She made me feel confident, so it just kinda dropped. We never brought it up again. I know it sounds strange, but honest, I have never known Anthony to get angry.”