by Laura Wood
The whole thing looks almost as impressive as we do with everyone in costume. I think Kevin’s outfit might be the best; his enormous black hat capped with a curling white feather, and a bushy stick-on beard gives him a very salty sea dog vibe. Ruby and Jess are brandishing cutlasses in a rather menacing fashion. Ruby’s crimson-and-black-striped trousers are very dramatic, especially coupled with a silky black shirt, and I don’t know how she’s doing it, but she makes blacked-out teeth and an eyepatch look good. Angelika’s pirated up her Alexander Hamilton costume, and she seems to have tracked down her duelling pistol again. My own costume is a sort of feisty pirate princess look with big gold hoop earrings and a red scarf wrapped around my hair. Even Zo has a stuffed parrot perched on the shoulder of her usual Puffa jacket. We carefully lay out the colourful, sparkly biscuits on trays on the table and strike our poses behind them. The whole effect is pretty spectacular.
“Anne and Mary would be proud,” Angelika says.
“Anne and Mary would probably tie us all up and steal our biscuits,” I point out.
“So cool,” Ruby murmurs with shining eyes.
Aaron has been watching the whole thing and looking increasingly grumpy. His stand seems to consist of a bit of paper bunting covered in footballs and a plastic tub full of chocolate brownies that he has obviously bought from a shop. I’m surprised he hasn’t brought a pizza with him. I resist the urge to point out that he’s not even making the most of his own rubbish policies.
“I see you’ve made the absolute BARE MINIMUM effort,” I hiss as I arrange some green streamers to look like seaweed. “Is that what your stand says about your campaign? Seems about right.”
Aaron just rolls his eyes in response and slumps into the chair behind his table.
I’m so excited, waiting for the arrival of the parents, because I know that Dad is bringing the finishing touch for our stand, and our secret weapon. When the doors finally open, he is one of the first through them, because I have him very well trained and I drilled him five times this morning on the fastest route to the school. I also told him it started fifteen minutes earlier than it really did, just to make double sure he would be on time. From the look of his and Lil’s pink noses and grumpy expressions, that was an unnecessary step. What can I say though, it’s always best to be prepared.
In one of Dad’s hands is a large dome-shaped object, covered in a pale blue sheet. From the way Dad is walking you can tell it’s quite heavy.
He sets the object down on the extra table we have set up at the back of our stand.
“Thanks, Dad,” I beam, whipping the sheet away to reveal Lennon the parrot perched in a nifty little travelling cage.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I hear Aaron mutter.
“GIBBERING IDIOT!” Lennon squawks at him.
“Such a gooooood booooy,” I croon, offering him a nut from my pocket and throwing a smirk at Aaron.
The others have all crowded around.
“Wow! A real parrot!” Kevin says.
“WHAT A LOSER,” Lennon responds.
Iris didn’t mind a bit about us borrowing Lennon. She said it was nice for him to have a change of scenery. Miss Sardana was harder to persuade. At first I wanted to have Lennon perched on my shoulder like a real pirate, but she said absolutely not. Finally, she agreed we could bring him as long as he stayed in his cage, well away from the food. I knew he was going to be the star attraction of the fair and the perfect way to lure people over to our stand, especially as Lil volunteered to stand beside the cage and bribe him with treats to bow and whistle to people.
“Have a biscuit, Dad,” I say, choosing him one of the best-looking ones.
“Oh, thanks,” he says, taking it off me.
“That’ll be 50p, please,” I sing, sweetly.
“What, even after all my hard work?” Dad asks.
“We’re raising money for the school.” I roll my eyes. “If you really want to deprive innocent children of a better education then I suppose you can have it for free…”
“Stop! Wouldn’t want that,” Dad says, fumbling in his pocket and pulling out some change. “I’ll take two, please – one for Lil as well.”
“I want a purple one,” Lil calls from where she is perched on a stool beside Lennon.
More people are starting to trickle through the doors, and just as I had hoped, our brilliant stand is attracting a big crowd. Lots of our fellow students and their parents want to come and see Lennon, but they also stop to tell Ruby and Kevin what a great job they’ve done on the decorations, or to compliment our costumes. I am feeling increasingly smug – especially as Aaron’s stand is being totally ignored and his face is getting more and more sulky.
Ruby and I are handing out biscuits as fast as we can, and our little pot is filling up with coins.
“Top biscuits, Effie,” a girl calls to me. Her name is Sophia, and she’s in the year above. I feel a little glow that she knows who I am. A few weeks ago I was anonymous, a stranger – no one knew me and I felt like I hardly existed.
“Thanks!” I exclaim. “My sister helped to make them.” Lil waves jauntily from her seat and Sophia waves back.
“Effie’s good at loads of things, Soph.” Ruby leans over now. “Don’t forget she’s running for student council president.”
“Yeah, I know,” Sophia says. “I saw your posters. Pretty cool artwork. And you’re the one who helped start the girls’ football team, right? You’ve got my vote.”
It’s like the world goes into slow motion as the words come out of Sophia’s mouth. “Yooooou’ve goooooooooooot myyyyyyyyyy vooooooooooote.”
A VOTE! Someone is going to vote for me, because of the things I’ve done. It’s magic, it feels like winning, like I’ve been electrified and my skin is buzzing and crackling with untold energy. Maybe I’m a superhero now. Maybe I can actually make things happen with my mind. I feel unstoppable.
“Thanks,” I beam, striking a superhero pose with my hands on my hips. “That’s brilliant.” As I turn around I catch Aaron’s eye. He’s obviously overheard, and he looks as if he’s just sucked on a lemon. I feel my grin stretch even wider, even though I obviously can’t make things happen with my mind … being as he’s STILL THERE.
The time passes quickly now, and before long we’re down to our last few biscuits. I notice that Aaron’s friends have finally turned up. Katie is perched on the table beside the box of brownies, her legs swinging back and forth. She’s applying a fresh coat of bubblegum-pink gloss to her lips in a hand mirror. Aaron’s friend Luke is sprawled in the seat beside him, and the two of them are comparing text messages on their phones. Matt is here as well, although he’s drifting around the room looking at all the different stands. I can see the top of his golden head winding through the crowds.
A cluster of boys turn up and they all exchange elaborate handshakes and one or two of them fish out some coins to buy a brownie.
“I don’t know why you even bother with all this stuff,” one of the boys says. “Why don’t you finish early and come back to Beanie’s with us?”
I fiddle with the trays in front of me, careful not to give away the fact that I am listening in to this.
“Nah,” Aaron says. “I have to be here. Part of the student president thing.”
“This student president thing is rubbish,” Luke grumbles. “It’s not even like you get anything out of it apart from the lunch pass.”
“Yeah, well, you seem to like that a lot when I use it to get your lunch too,” Aaron says, “Anyway, it’s good for my record. Especially if I’m senior president too, you know that. It’ll help with getting into a good sixth form.”
I’m surprised by this. Aaron Davis doesn’t seem like the sort of boy who gives much thought to the future. It’s hard to imagine him having ambition.
“You’re such a dork,” Luke scoffs, but it’s quite friendly.
“I like it,” Katie puts in. “You will too, when he’s your gazillionaire boss one day.”
Aaron looks over at me then, and the grin is still lingering on his face. Our eyes meet and my heart bangs in my chest with a loud, hollow thump.
“WHAT A DISASTER,” Lennon intones gloomily as everyone around him claps.
CHAPTER Twenty-Four
The next day I feel like I’m floating around school. The fair was such a big success for us. We raised almost forty pounds and people seemed genuinely interested in what we had to say, even listening to me talk about our different campaign issues. This could be partly because Ruby insisted on a grizzly re-enactment of Mary Read and Anne Bonny’s piratical adventures using a lot of ketchup as fake blood. Lil was enraptured, of course, and she has a new heroine … although whether it’s Mary Read or Ruby is not quite clear.
I’m still cross about my argument with Aaron. Just because he’s reasonably good-looking and has a nice smile doesn’t mean I’m about to forget all the insults he has piled upon my head. “Sweet”, indeed. SWEET LIKE A TOOTHACHE. Ooh, that’s good, I think. Why couldn’t I have had such a witty comeback at the time of the argument? Now I feel annoyed with Aaron all over again.
Still, victory is certainly sweet, and even the tiniest taste of it like I had last night is putting me in the very best of spirits. My good mood lasts all the way through my double maths lesson where I have no problem in finding X at all… “Must be my newfound pirate skills,” I say to Angelika, who snorts with laughter. Even when the teacher comes over to tell us to stop being noisy, we can hardly smother our giggles.
In fact, my good mood lasts almost all day, until 2.30 to be precise, when, on my way to my last lesson of the day, I run into Aaron. Quite literally.
“Why can’t you look where you’re going?” I snap from the floor where I have tumbled in a not very elegant heap.
Aaron holds his hand out to help me up, but I ignore it, angrily scrambling to my feet and pushing my wild curls out of my eyes.
“Why don’t you look where you’re going?” he snaps back, stuffing his hands into his pockets. It seems I’m not the only one who’s been thinking about our fight. We glower at each other, a silence building between us that starts to feel suffocating.
“SWEET LIKE A TOOTHACHE!” I yell, finally, the words bursting from me before I can give them much thought. And actually, now that I’ve said it out loud, I’m not totally sure this comeback even makes sense.
Aaron looks completely confused, and I guess I can’t blame him, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling mad at him. I can hear all his patronizing words yesterday, piling on top of Matt’s words and ringing in my ears. “Because of what you said last night,” I say hotly. “About me being sweet.”
Aaron huffs out a big sigh. “I cannot believe you are still droning on about that,” he groans. “I’m sorry I said you were acting kinda sweet. I didn’t realize it was the worst insult in the world. Why are you making such a big drama out of things?”
“I guess we can’t all be as cool and laid-back as you,” I snap. “Mostly because then nothing would EVER GET DONE.”
“That is enough,” a sharp voice comes from behind me. I shut my eyes for a second before turning to see Miss Sardana standing there, again, looking at me with weary disappointment, again. “I have already warned the pair of you about this unacceptable behaviour. Here at Highworth Grange we do not brawl in the corridors. You two will be at the student council meeting after school where we will discuss a fitting punishment. In the meantime I do not want to see any more of this silly fighting. Is that understood?”
“Yes, miss,” I mumble, looking at my shoes.
“Yes, miss,” I hear Aaron murmur as well.
“Right,” Miss Sardana says. “Now, get on to your lessons.”
Highworth Grange School Council Meeting – Tuesday 29 November
Minutes recorded by Angelika Lisowski
Meeting called to order at 3.30 p.m. by meeting chair Miss Sardana.
Members present:
Chair Miss Sardana
Aaron Davis (junior student president)
Matt Spader (junior student vice president)
Angelika Lisowski (junior student secretary)
Luna Stanworth (junior student treasurer)
Effie Kostas (top presidential candidate)
Reading of Agenda
Miss Sardana explains that she has invited Effie Kostas to the meeting because she is worried about the increasing hostility between her and Aaron Davis in their bid for student council president. Even though this is obviously, objectively, Aaron’s fault.
New Business
•Miss Sardana explains that she has come up with a plan to get Effie and Aaron to work together. She is putting them in charge of the Winter Dance taking part on 9 December. This is typically handled by the student council treasurer, but as Luna is away at a netball tournament, Miss Sardana sees this as a way of “killing two birds with one stone”.
•Effie Kostas has leapt to her feet. She is angry that she has to work with Aaron and also strongly feels that a dance of this scale cannot be thrown together in under two weeks. (She is not wrong either. Goodness, think of the to-do list, although if anyone can pull this off, it’s Effie Kostas, who is running for student president. VOTE FOR EFFIE!)
•Effie is rocking on her feet now and saying things like “FOOD” and “BAND” but also I think she just yelped the words “CONFETTI CANNON” in a very panicked tone.
•Aaron remains seated. He looks bored and a bit annoyed. Matt whispers something in his ear and they both laugh.
•Effie is shouting at them now, burning with the righteous anger of a thousand suns.
•Luna Stanworth reminds everyone that she has to get to netball practice.
•Miss Sardana has interrupted and pointed out that this is exactly the problem she is talking about. She’s had enough of their behaviour.
•Effie has whipped out a notebook and pen. She is asking many questions; Miss Sardana is struggling to keep up. Effie’s voice is getting higher and higher, and her pen is flying across the page at such a speed that it might have someone’s eye out in a minute. It’s quite a nice pen actually, must ask her where she got that. The ink is purple with just the right amount of sparkle.
•Luna Stanworth just wants to note that she has to get to netball practice soon.
•Effie replies that netball practice is the least of anyone’s worries, and that this is a level five emergency situation and that she doesn’t understand why everyone is so calm.
•Angelika Lisowski agrees with her. And not just because best friends should always have each other’s backs, but because – as a totally impartial observer – Effie is completely right and Aaron is totally wrong.
•Aaron suggests they can “just throw something together” and I swear Effie’s hand twitches. Is she going to throw her pen at him?
•Matt agrees with Aaron that Effie should stop “making such a fuss”. QUELLE SURPRISE.
•Aaron has asked Miss Sardana a sensible question about the budget. He has pulled out his OWN notebook. Effie looks like she’s about to fall off her chair.
•Miss Sardana says that Aaron and Effie have to make plans to meet up and finish the discussion. The dance is important and she wants to know they will do a good job.
•With a very big sigh, Aaron suggests his house.
•Effie describes this as ENEMY TERRITORY and says she will NEVER darken his doorstep and that the meeting should be at HER house.
•Aaron says fine and “who cares”.
•Effie slumps in her chair. Even though she has won that argument, I think she has just realized that she has invited her mortal enemy and political nemesis over for tea. This could be bad. Really bad.
•Luna Stanworth leaves for netball practice
Meeting adjourned at 4.00 p.m.
CHAPTER Twenty-Five
This is my nightmare.
I cannot BELIEVE that I have to work with Aaron Davis. I cannot BELIEVE that I have to be in charge of planning something as important as a school dance with him. And I also cannot BELIEVE we have less than two weeks to do it. What was Miss Sardana thinking? This kind of outrageous lack of organization will not stand when I am school council president, let me tell you that right now.
Also in the list of things I can’t believe is that I am currently flitting nervously around my house, tidying up and waiting for Aaron Davis to turn up. At my house. My. House. Talk about weird.
“Get rid of this!” I hiss to my dad, snatching up a photo of two-year-old me, smiling and gappy-toothed in the bath.
Dad looks a little alarmed at the manic light that I’m sure is burning in my eyes.
“Why are you getting so loopy?” Lil asks. Much to my despair, she has gone full Olaf. From her position slumped on the floor she looks like a melted marshmallow.
“Do you think you might like to get changed?” I ask Lil as sweetly as possible, but even I can hear the slight note of hysteria in my voice.
Lil tips her giant, carrot-adorned head to one side. “No,” she says, equally sweetly. “I don’t think so.”
“I think you need to calm down a bit, Effie,” Dad says in his most soothing voice. It sounds like he’s talking to a nervous horse who is about to bolt. “Everything is going to be fine.”
“You don’t know that,” I say in tragic tones. “This whole thing is a disaster. My mortal enemy, my arch-nemesis, is about to descend on us, and it’s like you two don’t even care!”
“I just don’t get it,” Lil says. “Tell us again why this boy is your mortal enemy?”