“Edwin,” I corrected, knowing he was just needling me—maybe that’s where I inherited my tendency to pick at people for my own amusement. Though I doubted Harry took it to the extremes I did. “It was fine. They’re all very nice. But I left early, because I’m not feeling well. I think I’m coming down with something.”
“You want me to call Doctor Holliday?”
“No, no, Edwin’s dad looked me over at their house, he says it’s probably just a bug that’s going around, it’ll pass on its own. I don’t know if I’ll make it to school tomorrow though.”
He nodded, then kissed me on the forehead. So damn fatherly. “All right, sweetie, you just let me know if you need anything. I’ll be around tonight, unless I get called for some mess out on the roads. I’ll be out tomorrow—you might’ve heard, a fella who lives out by the lake’s disappeared, so me and my guy Stevie Ray need to look into that when it’s daylight. We’ll be way the heck out of cell phone range, but you can call the station and leave a message on the machine, I’ll call in and check from time to time.”
“Sure, Dad.” I went back upstairs, pulled my curtains closed, and stretched on my bed in the dark listening to music through one headphone, and listening to the empty sounds of the night with the other. It was rare to spend a night without Edwin beside me, and it was surprisingly hard to fall asleep. I didn’t like that—don’t like being dependent on anyone. When I become a vampire, I thought, I’ll never sleep again.
But that night I was still human, so I did sleep, eventually.
Pleasance called me in the morning, as I sat eating a bowl of steel-cut oatmeal at the kitchen table. “Hey, Bon-bon,” she said brightly. That hideous nickname, one she’d arrived at independently, but somehow, I didn’t mind it from her. She was such a nice monster. “Edwin doesn’t want to call you directly, but he asked me to let you know, it’s working. Gretchen and Queequeg are tracking them—apparently the other guy, Jimmy, didn’t want any part of this, and he took off, but I guess Queequeg and Gretchen are a couple, so he’s along for the ride. Anyway, Edwin and Hermet are halfway to the west coast by now. They’re working on setting up an ambush. With luck, this will all be over in a day or two.”
“You still keeping watch?”
“Oh, yes, just in case. I’m across the road with a clear view of your front door, and Garnett’s watching the back. Well, except for the fog, which Rosemarie says will dissipate on its own, eventually, but it hasn’t, yet. I can’t see a thing, but it’s okay. Vampires can sense each other, so I’ll know if Gretchen or Jimmy or any of them come within a mile.”
“Nice trick,” I said.
“Keeps us from stumbling over each other in the wild. Saves a lot of bloodshed. Not that we have blood, really, unless we’ve recently fed. Second-hand bloodshed. Anyway. Just sit tight.”
“You’re so nice to me,” I said. “And I’m just a human. I don’t get it.” I really didn’t. I wouldn’t bother with humans if I were a member of a superior species.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re likable enough,” Pleasance said. “But I’m looking out for you because of Edwin. You make him happy. For the first time in about a century he isn’t moping all the time. The only other girl he’s gotten halfway close to in all the time I’ve known him is Gretchen, and that was all about lust, he never even seemed to like her much.”
“I can’t imagine why,” I said. “She’s so charming.”
Pleasance laughed. “Just lay low.”
So lay low I did. Doing nothing doesn’t appeal to me, and I didn’t dare go on Facebook or Twitter or anything, because Gretchen hadn’t been dead that long, it seemed, and was probably pretty tech-savvy for a vampire. I’d hate for a bored status update to give away the fact that I was sitting snug in Lake Woebegotten when I was supposed to be in a speeding car out west, running for my life with a couple of dead men.
So I watched TV, and ate a bowl of ice cream—another good reason to become a vampire, I could drink all the tasty blood I wanted and not worry about putting on weight—and mostly just waited. Harry wasn’t home by nightfall—he called to tell me he had to take some samples to a lab in another town, related to the disappearance case he was working on, and wouldn’t be back until late. I asked when he’d be home, but his cell phone broke up before I heard the answer. There’s a lot of wilderness out there, inimical to the trappings of civilization. More than I’d ever realized.
The fog had dissipated a little, but was still thick enough to limit visibility sharply, so even the view from my window was dull. I kept waiting for a call from Pleasance, to tell me things had worked, Gretchen and Queequeg were dead, I could go back to my life, so when the phone rang, I jumped on it, even though it was Harry’s landline and not my cell.
“Bonnie.” It was Harry’s voice, but as I’d never heard it before—breathless, worried, tense. “Bonnie, there’s a woman here, she says her name is Gretchen, and she, ah—Bonnie. Don’t do what she says, call the state—”
His voice abruptly cut off, replaced by Gretchen’s raspy chuckle. “Hi there, Bonnie. I’ve got your papa here with me. He’s a feisty one, isn’t he? So, listen. Your boyfriend Edwin almost fooled me. I chased him quite a while before Queequeg got a look inside the car and realized you weren’t there. It didn’t seem likely they’d wrap you up in a blanket and stuff you under the back seat, so I realized I’d been faked out.”
Shit, I thought.
“Queequeg’s still after them, don’t worry, making them think I’m in hot pursuit. But I doubled back. I assume your house is under surveillance, which is why I didn’t just go knock on your door—believe me, I’m not normally this roundabout. But, now, I’ve got your father. And I know girls like you, Bonnie. You’re a daddy’s girl, aren’t you? You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to old Harry, would you? So I’m going to need you to come to me. Do that, and I’ll set him free. Fair enough?”
I considered. I might be able to bait her into a trap of my own, with Garnett and Pleasance laying in wait… but vampires can sense each other. If Gretchen realized I was setting her up, I had no doubt she’d kill Harry. Why wouldn’t she? I’d squish a bug to get what I want, and humans are just bugs compared to things like Gretchen.
It would be inconvenient if Harry died. I wasn’t eighteen yet, so I’d have to go back home with Mom… and away from Edwin. Plus, Mom would be unbearably over-protective if Harry got murdered, or even just vanished. She’d never let me out of her sight, because Mom is a great one for shutting barn doors after the horses are already long escaped and halfway to Mexico. Then again, I’d trade Harry’s life in a moment to save my own. (Sure, he was my dad, and he’d given me life, but gratitude only goes you so far.) But if Gretchen did get wind of some other vamps laying an ambush for her, she’d probably kill Harry and run away, leaving me with no dad and a homicidal supernatural ex-girlfriend still on the loose. Family was important to Edwin, too, so if I let Harry get killed, he’d probably think badly of me, and I didn’t want that.
My options seemed pretty limited, honestly. But maybe I could stall for time and hope inspiration would strike.
“Okay,” I said.
“Great. Meet me behind the high school—”
I snorted. “Are you stupid, bitch? The Scullens have the whole town under surveillance, keeping an eye out for you and yours. Edwin can see through people’s eyes. You think he’s not checking in with the good people of Lake Woebegotten every once in a while? We can’t meet here.”
“Then what do you suggest?” she said coolly.
Then I got it. The idea. The perfect place. So I told her.
“Hmm,” she said. “Why should I let you choose the place?”
“Hello. You have my dad. Isn’t the whole point of a hostage to compel my good behavior?”
“Fine,” she snapped. She really wasn’t too smart—or else she thought I was dumb. “You come, then, and I’ll set your father free. Maybe I won’t even kill you. Perhaps I’ll just take your eyes, or your
legs, or mess up your pretty face, and make you less desirable to Edwin.”
Yeah, right. As if. “Uh huh. I bet. You know, Gretch, it’s not very impressive for you to get so hung up over some boy. Kind of pathetic, actually.”
“His betrayal led me into a life of misery!” she shouted. “You have no idea what he put me through! I can’t strike at him directly, he’s too strong, but I can hurt him through you!” A pause. “I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not your fault. It’s nothing personal, really. But you’re the only weapon I have to use against him. Come willingly, and I’ll spare your father, and make it quick. I don’t really want you to suffer. But if you try anything…”
“Yes, fine, consider all the threats read. Shit. All right. I sort of figured my days were numbered—you don’t date a vampire if you want a healthy life expectancy—but I was hoping I’d at least get killed while Edwin was screwing my brains out, so I could enjoy myself. This isn’t my ideal way to go.”
“Life’s a bitch,” she said.
“And so are you.”
“You’re making me want to make you suffer now,” she growled. “How soon can you be there?”
“Well, I have to elude vampire surveillance. Any suggestions for that?”
“Burn your own house down and escape in the confusion. Good distraction, there.”
I sighed. “I’ll think of something and then travel a hell of a distance, so give me a couple of hours.”
“Fine.” She hung up the phone.
I thought for a while. Then I made another call.
BEACHES
FROM THE JOURNAL OF BONNIE GRAYDUCK
Sneaking out wasn’t that tough, really. I turned off all the lights and put some pillows in the bed so it would look like there was a human shape under the covers (which looks a lot more convincing in the movies, I’ll tell you). Then I got all bundled up—the nights were getting cold, and I’d want a hood and scarf to conceal my face—and went down into the basement, then up the stairs to the exterior cellar entrance, which is conveniently located on the side of the house, where I didn’t think Garnett or Pleasance were watching. I crept out quietly, leaving the door open rather than risking the noise of closing it again. Getting raccoons or whatever in the basement was the least of my worries. The fog would help conceal me, but I was still trying to sneak away from a couple of apex predators who were making a point of watching me, so I went slow and careful, trying to avoid where I thought maybe Garnett might possibly be.
Walking in the woods, in the fog, in the dark, is tough for ordinary mortals, but I slogged along. At least I have an awesome sense of direction. I made it out to Fincher Road as planned, and waited in a ditch until I heard the rumble of a car engine. It was an old truck, about half the size of my beloved Marmon, and the driver was looking around into the dark. I stepped out and waved, and the truck stopped. I hurried to the passenger side and slipped in, but kept my hood up.
“Are you okay, Bonnie?” Joachim Noir said.
“Yes,” I said. “Don’t look at me, okay?” I didn’t want to risk Edwin looking through Joachim’s eyes and seeing where I was.
“Dad told me,” he said, grumpy. “Though he didn’t say why. What the heck’s going on?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said.
“Try me.”
I sighed. “Okay. Your elders are telling the truth about wendigos—well, about vampires, anyway. They exist. And one of them is after me.”
“Uh. Seriously?” He kept glancing at me, sidelong, but I was sufficiently hidden in my hood, I thought it was okay.
“Entirely seriously.”
“But, wait, does that mean Edwin…”
“Is a vampire,” I confirmed.
“That bastard! If he tries to hurt you—”
“No, no, he’s not the vampire who’s after me. It’s… actually his ex-girlfriend. She’s got some issues.”
“Whoa,” Joachim said. “This is pretty crazy, Bonnie. Are you sure… I mean, are you sure they’re not just screwing with you? Trying to trick you?”
“What does your dad think?”
“He took it pretty seriously,” Joachim said. “When you called, I was so happy to hear from you, and then you wanted to talk to my dad, I couldn’t believe it, I thought something happened to Harry.”
“Well. Something did. The vampire has him. She said if I don’t meet her—to let her kill me—she’ll kill him.”
“Holy what the crap!” he shouted. “My dad never tells me anything! So, what, you’re going to hide out at the rez, and then… what?”
I wasn’t sure how much Willy Noir had told him, and there was a lot I didn’t know myself, so I just shook my head. “I don’t know. I just know I need help. Edwin’s family was trying to help me, but vampires can sense each other, so if they go after Gretchen, I’m afraid she’ll hurt Harry. I thought your people… enemies of the wendigo and all… I thought they could help.”
“Anything I can do, I will. Assuming this isn’t all just some incredibly elaborate prank.”
“I wouldn’t mess with you like that, Joachim,” I said. “You’re my friend.” And the thing was… he was. Now, I’m not saying I was his friend. I wouldn’t hesitate to throw him at Gretchen just to slow her down if she came after the two of us, don’t get me wrong, I’m not sentimental, but I’d never doubted for a moment that he’d help me if I called, whether because he had a crush on me or was just a genuinely nice guy or both, but it did give me a certain fondness toward him, and I wouldn’t waste his life if I could avoid it.
We drove in silence for a while, back to the reservation, down the same dirt roads I’d taken on that trip to the beach where I first met Joachim, seemingly so long ago. He pulled into the dirt quasi-parking lot just up from the beach, which was empty. “So what are we doing here?” Joachim said. “Dad just told me to get you and drive you over here as soon as I could. What now?”
“Now,” I said, “I go walk down by the beach, and hope this works the way I planned.”
“That sure clears things up. I’m going with you,” Joachim said.
I shook my head. “I’m not sure your dad would like that. This woman—she’s not a woman, she’s a monster—is dangerous.” I’d dealt with my share of pissed-off ex-girlfriends before, but never one who could literally drain the blood from my body using nothing but her teeth. It occurred to me that my plan was very likely suicidal—I was betting on a lot of assumptions. I’m cautious, meticulous, a planner—but I just didn’t have time, so I had to take a calculated risk.
“Too bad. I’m not letting you go alone.” Joachim was cute when he got stubborn—little furrows popped up in his forehead.
“Okay,” I said.
We got out of the truck, and he rummaged around under a tarp in the back and came out holding…
“Are those nun-chucks?” I said. Though I wasn’t surprised. Joachim really was a teenage boy, while Edwin just looked like one.
“Don’t laugh,” he warned, and did a complicated swoopy move with his nun-chucks, which looked like a couple of dowels with eye-bolts screwed into the ends, linked by a piece of chain. “I’m badass with these.”
The image of Joachim beating up Gretchen with a pair of nun-chucks was pretty funny, but also improbable. “My protector,” I said, surprised I was able to tease at a time like this… but maybe you feel more alive when you’re pretty close to getting killed.
I walked down to the beach, looking around, though I knew if Gretchen wanted to, she could easily stay hidden from the likes of me. The moon was big and full, and there was no magical fog here, so the water was ashimmer with reflective diamonds… and I realized it looked a lot like my dream, the one I’d had of Edwin and a great beast. God, I thought, don’t let my mom’s bullcrap about dreaming the future be true. Though it’d have to be only metaphorically true, since as far as I knew Edwin was way the hell across the country. But that’s the whole dream schtick, isn’t it?
“Bonnie!” I recog
nized Harry’s voice instantly, though it seemed to be coming from out on the lake, which seemed impossible, unless there was a boat, like in my dream—
There was indeed a boat, a little rowboat, and it came into view, but Harry wasn’t in it. Just Gretchen, with her long hair streaming in the breeze, pulling at the oars and making the boat skip across the water like one of the stones Joachim had thrown last time I was here.
“Bonnie!” Harry’s voice called, and my heart sank, because it was Gretchen’s mouth opening: my dad’s voice, emerging from her throat. Which meant this was all a trick, Harry wasn’t captured, and I could’ve had Pleasance and Jasper jump this bitch and beat her down. Oh well. I felt dumb, but I’d have felt a lot worse if I’d really intended to sacrifice myself to save my dad—like that would ever happen.
Gretchen rowed the boat right up onto the sandy/rocky shore and climbed out. “What, didn’t Edwin tell you?” she said. “It’s a little gift I had—mimicry. I used to make fun of people all the time, you know, doing little sarcastic impressions, it used to crack Edwin up. You should see my Rosemarie impression. Though it’s less about the voice than looking down my nose, even at people who are taller than me. Anyway, when I crossed over to vamp-hood, I carried that ability with me, only so much better! I can sound like anybody. I just called up the police station, listened to your papa’s voice on the recording there—and by the way, what kind of cop shop just has an answering machine, really?—and boom, I had his voice down. The power’s great, really awesome for luring in prey… sort of like I lured you. And I see you brought a little friend. Pretty dumb, Bonnie. Ha. Dumb Bonnie. Like ‘dumb bunny,’ huh? Good nickname for you, except, oh wait, dead people don’t need nicknames.”
Joachim yelled and ran toward her, nun-chucks spinning, and she just swatted him aside without even looking. He landed in the sand near the water and groaned, but didn’t sit up. Oh well. Sweet of him to try. Good thing I hadn’t been counting on him to save me.
Gretchen took a step toward me. “And that shit I said about not making you suffer, Bonnie? Not exactly true. Edwin’s mine. He belongs with me. He just doesn’t realize it yet. Getting rid of you might help clarify his mind.”
The Twilight of Lake Woebegotten Page 18