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by Tawdra Kandle


  And so it was agreed that my parents would drive up the next weekend. I didn’t have any say in it, and I closed my eyes in frustration as we hung up. I didn’t care about this whole Carruthers deal, but I hated that my mother and father still felt like they had to run my life. I understood it, but I still hated it.

  Michael called an hour later with the news that Marly and Luke had talked with my parents, and it was decided that Marly would come up with them to Perriman. The fall was a busy time for the nursery, and Luke couldn’t spare the time away.

  “But he said I should tell you that he trusts you and sends his love,” Michael reported. “I think Mom’s coming mostly to keep your parents from overreacting.”

  “I’m glad,” I said with feeling. “They need someone to rein them in. I think they have visions of me being turned into some sort of evil agent.”

  “Since you moved to Florida, two people have tried to kill you and another corrupted your abilities and tried to kidnap you. So. . .maybe they’re not that much out of line.”

  I made a face and Michael laughed. “You just stuck out your tongue at me, didn’t you?”

  I glanced around the room. Sophie was at a study group and I was alone. “How did you know that? Do you have a camera hidden here somewhere? Or maybe this Carruthers should be talking to you instead of me.”

  “Nah, I’m just very intuitive about one particular person.”

  I slept fitfully that night, a familiar unease filling my dreams. I half-wondered if I might have a visit from Nell, but I wasn’t surprised when it didn’t happen. As far as I knew, she was still deep in a coma. Her father had had her moved from the mental institute in Mississippi to a long-term care facility that just happened to be about forty-five minutes from Perriman. Mr. Massler had sent me a note with the information and permission to visit if I wished, but so far, I hadn’t worked up the nerve to do it.

  The next morning, after my first class, I found a deserted spot under a palm tree on the central college green. A breeze ruffled the fronds above my head, and I remembered sitting under another palm tree months ago, with Rafe. A pleasant afternoon together at his grandparents’ home had turned into one of my scarier out-of-control magical moments.

  Thinking of the Brooks’ beautiful estate reminded me why I was sitting here, away from anyone who might overhear. I dug into my bag and pulled out my cell phone. The number was still in my contacts list under Rafe’s name, and I tried not to think of him as I selected it. Even so, as the connection was made and I heard the ringing on the other end, the wind around me picked up in a way I recognized all too well. I closed my eyes and drew in some deep, even breaths, working to pull in the powers that still felt so out of control.

  “Tasmyn! What a lovely surprise.” Caroline Brooks was not a woman to waste time on inanities, and I knew she must have recognized my number on their caller ID.

  “Hello, Mrs. Brooks,” I answered with the same genuine respect I always felt for her. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” There was something about Caroline that made me remember all of my manners.

  “Nothing of importance, my dear. I’m so happy to hear from you. I hope that all is well?”

  It was a loaded question, and I answered what she didn’t say. “Yes, everything’s fine. I’m adjusting to college, and I like it.” I paused before adding, “I’m seeing Aline, and that’s helping, too. Thank you again for recommending her.”

  “I’m glad it’s worked out. And how is Michael?”

  I flushed. It was not a little awkward to discuss my boyfriend with the grandmother of the boy I’d briefly dated earlier in the year. “He’s good, thanks. It’s—we’re good. Things are working out.”

  “Well, that’s wonderful. Now as nice as it is to catch up, I’m sure that’s not why you called me. What can I do for you?”

  That was what made Mrs. Brooks one of my favorite people. No beating around the bush with her.

  “Actually, I did call for a reason. I was approached yesterday by a recruiter for a-I guess you would call them an organization. Cathryn—the recruiter—she says they work with people who have special abilities, to help them use those powers. In good ways, I mean. It’s called the Carruthers Initiative Institute. I wondered if you’d heard of them?”

  Caroline was quiet for a moment. “I have heard of Carruthers. I know some of their people have approached a few families from King over the years.” She paused again, and I sensed she was grappling with how much to share. “One of them spoke with my son, many years ago, of course.”

  “With Rafe’s dad?” Caroline rarely mentioned her only son other than telling me how much his premature death had affected Rafe. I knew he had the same ability that Rafe did, the power to manipulate the perception of time.

  “Yes. Kenneth didn’t tell me at the time; he only mentioned it in passing years later, when Carruthers was courting one of our cousins.”

  “What did he say about them?” I tried to picture Rafe’s father, but my mind stubbornly refused to move from the image of Rafe himself, standing in the school parking lot next to my car, with that impossible smile on his face. . .the wind began to whip again. The palm branches bent ominously, and I focused on tamping down the power.

  “Not much. He just told me that someone had contacted him during his first year in college. That seems to be their modus operandi, doesn’t it? He wasn’t interested. He told them he had family support and plenty of opportunity for doing good. Apparently they backed off and never bothered him again. The same happened with our cousin.”

  “Oh.” What Caroline said matched Cathryn’s report about King, too. “So you don’t know more than that.”

  “Well. . .” Caroline hesitated. “I did do a little research on my own, after hearing Kenneth’s story. They are fairly secretive, which is not surprising considering the nature of their business, but I was able to find a few people willing to talk. I didn’t learn anything particularly troubling. As they say, their mission is to connect people who possess extraordinary abilities with those in need of that sort of help.”

  “But. . .” I prompted. There had to be more that she wasn’t saying.

  “But. . .it seems to me that this is a situation fraught with potential peril. The very idea that a company has records naming people like us is alarming. And then there is the question of profit. Although the recruiters don’t mention it, Carruthers has to be a money-making venture on some level. They expend too much energy in recruiting, and they have a beautiful property just a little north of where you are.

  “Think about it, Tasmyn. There they are, in the midst of all those colleges and universities, but still off the beaten track. There is little to no accountability; they are listed as a consulting firm.”

  “So you think I should stay away from Carruthers?”

  Caroline laughed. “Tasmyn, you’ve been through more in the past two years than most people survive in a lifetime. I would never presume to tell you what you should or should not do. I’m just sharing my thoughts with you, which I assumed was your reason for calling.”

  I sighed. I did miss Caroline Brooks and her acute no-nonsense approach. It was a shame she would never be my grandmother-in-law, but I was glad to keep her as a friend.

  “It was. Thank you, Mrs. Brooks. I appreciate you telling me what you know.”

  “Always my pleasure, Tasmyn. I’m very happy that you’re doing well up there, but I must say that I miss you. It’s very quiet around here these days.”

  The back of my neck prickled, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking anyway. “Quiet? Isn’t–is Rafe not at home? Did he go away to college after all?” During our brief time together, Rafe and I hadn’t talked about the future. I knew he had applied and been accepted to several colleges; although he didn’t like to make a big deal about it, he really was incredibly intelligent. But when I’d mentioned going to school, he always said that he wasn’t sure college was for him.

  “He did not, no.” Caroline’s voice was sudde
nly guarded. “He delayed admission for a year.”

  “Oh.” The silence between us was heavy.

  “Tasmyn, I understand that on some level, you still care for Rafe. And if that is true, I would ask you to stay away from him. Please don’t ask me about him. I enjoy the friendship that you and I share, and I would hate to have that complicated by my loyalty to my grandson. You followed your heart. But Rafe’s is broken, and he needs room and time to heal. If you were to reach out to him in any way, even in a misguided attempt to help him or to ease your own guilt, he would respond. He can’t help himself. But it would be disastrous for both of you. So please. . .feel free to call me, to stay in touch. I like you, Tasmyn. I’m interested in your future. But my first priority is and always will be Rafe.”

  Tears stung my eyes. Caroline’s honesty was painful, but she wasn’t wrong. “All right,” I answered, struggling to keep my voice even.“I won’t mention him again.”

  “Thank you, Tasmyn. You will always have a special place in my heart, dear. And so I will just suggest that you exercise extreme caution in your dealings with Carruthers. If you choose to go forward, do it with your eyes wide open.”

  “I will,” I promised. “Thank you, Mrs. Brooks.”

  After I hung up, I sat for a long while under that palm tree. My stomach was churning and my mind spinning. Talking with Caroline took me back to those days when Rafe was the only person I could trust. I knew that the complete break I made was the right thing to do, but it still hurt.

  The days between Michael’s appearance at my door and the end of the school year had been both heaven and hell for me. Michael, finished with finals and home for the summer, dropped me at the school each morning and picked me up every afternoon. With my parents’ blessing, we worked together at the nursery. I didn’t go back to my old place at the nursery shop; with my powers still too volatile, I was afraid to be around anyone who didn’t know what I could do. Instead, I worked out among the plants with either Michael or Marly.

  That part was heaven.

  During the school days, I stuck close to Amber, concentrated on classes and tried to tune out the speculation that continued to run through the minds of my classmates and teachers. Most of them were leery of me. There were rumors that I’d tried to kill Amber, that Rafe, Amber and I had been part of some kind of bizarre love triangle, or that Marica was the one in love with Rafe, and in a jealous rage, had tried to kill me. Well, there was an element of truth in even the most ridiculous stories. I had nearly killed Amber, and subsequently, Marica had tried to kill me. Or at the very least to incapacitate and kidnap me. I found it hard not to laugh at the idea that Marica was having an illicit relationship with Rafe—that was so off-target.

  But that was the only remotely amusing part of my day. Rafe’s pain and bleak isolation was overwhelming, even though I carefully avoided any interaction with him at all. He blocked me completely from his mind, but he couldn’t control his feelings, and our previous intimacy made me more susceptible to them. I ended each school day in utter exhaustion, working hard to put on a happy face when I climbed back into the Mustang. I couldn’t share this with Michael; I felt his pain even more acutely, and I knew the two together would destroy me.

  And it was short-term, at any rate. I struggled through, and I worked hard to keep from lashing out with magicks. Graduation day arrived at last, and if I were a bit more emotional than my classmates, no one noticed.

  After the ceremony, we were all herded outside the gym onto the school lawn. Amber grabbed me for a quick, tight hug.

  “We did it!” she crowed. “We made it through King High without dying!” I laughed and shushed her at the same time, even though no one was paying any attention to us at all. A few other girls patted me on the shoulder, beaming. Clearly drunk on the bliss of being finished with high school, they temporarily forgot that they were afraid of me.

  Then I felt it: that heaviness squeezing at my heart until I had almost no breath. I turned, and Rafe was standing behind me.

  For just a moment, his eyes were unguarded and I saw the naked longing and grief. And then he was back in control, thoughts blocked, eyes distant and sardonic.

  “Congratulations, Tasmyn,” he said quietly.

  I didn’t know what to say. I licked my lips. A wave of desire rolled out from Rafe and nearly dragged me under. I took half a step back.

  “You, too, Rafe,” Amber said. She stepped around me and pulled Rafe into an awkward hug. A smile hovered around his lips for just a moment as he gripped her shoulders.

  “Thanks, Rafe,” I echoed. “Glad to be done. It was touch and go there at times, wasn’t it?”

  His lips curved into that half-smile that always tugged at my heart. “Sure,” he answered. “Never a dull moment.” He glanced around us, as though looking for the next topic of conversation.

  “What are you doing after?” Amber rescued us once again. I just loved that girl.

  “Ah, my grandparents are having a family party, back at the house. You’re welcome to come if you want.” He shrugged. Under different circumstances, I would have gone without hesitating. Of course, now it was impossible.

  Someone called Amber, and she turned to greet another classmate. And Rafe and I were alone in the middle of our shouting, jostling fellow graduates.

  “What are you doing?” he asked me, just above a whisper. “I mean, in the fall. Are you going to college?”

  I forced a smile. “Yes. Going to Perriman. That’s the plan.”

  “Of course.” He shifted, and I thought for a second that he was going to turn to leave. And then he looked over my head. If I thought his eyes were cold before, they were now frozen.

  “Tas!” Michael scooped me into a huge embrace before kissing me senseless. “Congratulations, high school graduate!”

  If I had harbored any doubts, any misgivings, during these few moments with Rafe, any thoughts that I had made a mistake—they instantly vanished. When Michael held me, I felt so complete and so full of peace and joy. This was where I belonged.

  I turned in his arms to face Rafe. “Michael, you remember Rafe. We were just talking about college.”

  Michael’s arms tightened and I heard the fierce protectiveness of his thoughts. But he smiled.

  “Sure. Rafe, congratulations.”

  Rafe’s mouth twisted, but it could hardly be called a smile. “Thanks. You too.” None of us had to ask why he was congratulating Michael. His eyes darted down to me, still murky and unreadable.

  He turned to go, and Michael reached out to grab his arm. Rafe stilled.

  “Hey, man, I want to say—thank you. For—you know. Taking care of. . .things.”

  Rafe answered through clenched teeth. “Don’t thank me.” He pulled away from Michael’s hand and disappeared into the crowd.

  That was the last time I saw Rafe.

  Cathryn was very efficient. When I told her that my parents and Marly were arriving on Friday night, she immediately arranged a Saturday morning breakfast meeting.

  “Of course, we will be your hosts,” she told me. “We have a beautiful executive dining room at the Institute.” Her words reminded me of Caroline Brooks musing about Carruthers’ profit status.

  “Cathryn always used to talk about her family’s business,” Michael remarked at lunch on Friday. “I guess this is what she meant. She said it was some kind of consulting firm.”

  “I don’t get why she was in the botany department if she already has a job,” I said. The closer the arrival of our parents came, the more annoyed I felt. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why; I loved my parents and Marly. But somehow this time, it felt as though they were intruding on the life that Michael and I were just beginning to establish.

  “She really does have a gift with plants,” Michael answered. “And she loves it. I think it’s more like a hobby for her.”

  “So she works for Carruthers, she has this gig as the alumni liason, and she has a degree in botany?” I couldn’t keep the arch tone out of
my voice.

  “Hey, I thought you liked her now,” Michael said, reaching across the table to rub my hand.

  “No, I don’t like her. I just know more about her.” I turned my hand over and laced my fingers through his. “She likes you. More than that, she wants you. I wonder. . .” I let my words trail off as a thought struck me.

  “What do you wonder? You’re frowning.” Michael brushed a fingertip over my forehead. I caught his hand and leaned my cheek against it.

  “What if Cathryn is just using this Carruthers idea to pull me away from you? She’s known what I can do for a long time, but she’s only just now tried to recruit me.”

  Michael laughed. “Really? Wow, I’m flattered. You seriously think she’s courting you for her family’s company just so she can get at me?”

  “Stranger things,” I retorted, eyebrows raised.

  “I think you’re forgetting something pretty obvious. If Cathryn wanted me so badly, why didn’t she make a move last spring? When you and I. . .” He tightened his grip on my hand. “I spent time with her. We had coffee, dinner a few times. She made it clear that she was available. But she never pushed.”

  “Hmmm.” I was still skeptical.

  We met our parents in the lobby of my dorm at six o’clock. Marly hadn’t seen my room yet, and after a brief tour, we all went out to dinner at the pub in the center of town.

  “That’s where I had lunch with Cathryn.” I pointed to the small café as we passed it.

  There was silence in the car, and then my father spoke up. “She called us this week to introduce herself and confirm times for this weekend. I have to say--” he paused, and my mother took over.

  “She actually seems very business-like, very astute. She said she understood our reservations and misgivings. She wants us to meet some other families.”

  Next to me, Michael squeezed my hand.

  After dinner, my parents were ready to head back to their hotel. Marly was staying with Michael in his suite, and she sent Michael back to his room as my parents drove away.

 

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