by Lolly Walter
“I want things to feel normal between us again.”
“I want that, too, papi.” More than anything.
Devin nudged Joe’s shoulder. “I understand better why you didn’t tell me that Boggs had threatened me. I would have insisted we tell the other runners about Nina anyway. When those guns went off, and I was in the other apartment, I was so scared you were hurt or dying. I would have done anything to keep you safe. I would’ve used the Bowie knife, even if afterward I hated myself for it. It’s why I shot Boggs. Not for me or the kid. For you. I didn’t stop to ask you if it was all right that I wanted to protect you, and maybe I can understand why you didn’t ask me.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry you had to use that gun or whatever it is.”
“Me, too. Let’s hope it never has to happen again.”
“Are you scared?”
“Of going north?” Devin tilted his head. “Terrified. It’s a big change for a guy who’d barely left his house.”
Joe nodded. “It’s a big change for me, too. I rarely left Austin. Here, at least I knew what to expect. But…” Joe gestured to the path in front of them. The cemetery was coming up on their right. “Out there? It’s all new.”
“Are we heading to Minneapolis?”
“If that sounds okay to you.”
“I want to meet your dad. Ask him why the fuck he didn’t come back for you.”
“I’d like to know that, too, but I’m more okay with it than I’ve ever been. If he’d have come back, I’d have missed out on you. I think” — and Joe hadn’t realized it until the words were on the tip of his tongue — “I’m ready to let him go. He made a tremendous impact on who I am, and I’m grateful, but I don’t have to live my life for him anymore.”
“We’re leaving them here,” Devin said. “Your dad and Tanner. My sister and parents.”
“My mother.”
“Bea.”
“Victor.”
The words were quiet, and in the hush of the cemetery, they became a prayer. Joe took Devin’s hand, not even questioning whether or not Devin would let him.
“We’ll remember Sam’s sacrifice,” Devin said. “I hope he’s okay.”
“And we’ll remember how brave Victor and Bea were.”
“And how strong Ebony is.”
“We’ll carry them in our hearts, but we won’t let them carry us away.”
“That’s right,” Devin said.
They walked on. The cemetery gave way to a regular city block, and Joe and Devin turned north again. Joe had explored this area on training runs. They were getting close. One more block and ahead of them stretched the big highway.
Devin gasped. “We’re going on it?”
“Mhm.” Joe couldn’t suppress his grin. He tugged Devin down the slope of the last block.
The highway cut across their path. To their right, a ramp merged with the huge road and the ground leveled out. They’d be able to skip the ramp and get right on the main lanes. A rusted sign of faded red, white, and blue read, “North Interstate 35.”
Joe took a deep breath. He wanted to mark this moment, remember it for all time.
Devin squeezed his fingers. “We’re doing this?”
“We’re doing this.”
They crossed the access road and stepped onto the ramp. A shiver ran up Joe’s spine. He turned to find Devin eyeing him with slightly parted lips and cheeks rounding into a grin. Footfalls muffled by the dirt, they stepped as one to the edge of the ramp and climbed over the metal barrier separating the highway from the regular world.
Then…
The highway was a road. That’s all it was, made of the same components as every other road in Austin. But as they turned north and saw the ribbon of pavement snaking out in front of them, Joe believed this path to be different.
“Shall we?” he asked Devin.
Another squeeze of his hand. “Let’s go.”
They left their world behind. Neither one looked back.
THE END
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Acknowledgements
Writing a novel is a lonely enterprise involving, at least for me, a whole lot of sleepless nights. It’s funny, then, given how solitary a job writing is, that there are so many people who made this book possible and to whom I am profoundly grateful.
First among those are Kate Ward, Melissa Wilton, and Erin Booth, who read my manuscript early on, and whose kindness and enthusiasm gave me confidence. Erin, you gave me the one permission I needed to make this book more than something I kept to myself. I can never thank you enough. Thanks to Cherish Yonemoto for her keen eye and generous heart. My fellow Sporadics, thanks for your encouragement — and Amber Youney Lovas, thank you for giving Joe a birth name that made sense and didn’t confuse anyone!
Natasha Snow, you make stunning book covers — I’m already imagining the magic you’ll create on the next one! My beta readers Lou Ann McLean, Ron Robertson, Pykasu Koube, and Patee Franks gave me such insightful feedback and helped make this book so much better. Jennifer Durbin, Allison Land, and Betsie Eikenberry, thank you for catching last-minute typos. Leanna Englert, Gaylon Greer, Nancy Gore, and Lou Ann (again), your critiques, always honest and unsparing, always kind, have made me a more polished writer and helped me realize that I really do belong at a table set with writers as stellar as you. Thank you for your support and your friendship.
Finally, I want to thank my family. I’m a shrinking violet through and through, content to live my life at the margins. But I have three strong, smart kids: Eleanor, Colleen, and Natalie, and they need to see their mom letting her light shine so they can know it’s okay for them to shine, too. Every big step I take, kids, my love for you gets me at least halfway there. Brian, I guess it’s simplest to say the good part of my life started the day we met. I won’t say your encouragement, support, and belief in me are solely responsible for getting me here because I’ve had to take so many steps by myself and for myself, but there’s no doubt the path has been a lot easier because you always walk beside me.
About the Author
Lolly Walter grew up in a small town on the plains of central Illinois. She got a degree in English and a nice piece of paper certifying her to teach, then after jobs working with kids, at a newspaper, and even a motel, she came to the uncomfortable conclusion that to be the person she was meant to be, she’d have to leave behind a place and people she genuinely loved. She moved to Texas, married the first man she met (really, that happened!), and has never looked back.
These days, she homeschools/cajoles/chauffeurs her three children, writes like her laptop keyboard is her only source of oxygen, and catches all the baseball games she can (Go Cubs!). She loves writing about complex characters in tough situations.
Copyright
Print and E-book Editions|June 2018
Discover more works by Lolly Walter at lollywalter.com
Copyright © 2017 by Lolly Walter
Cover Design by Natasha Snow Designs, natashasnowdesigns.com
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2018
ISBN 978-0-9997133-1-0
Awl Collaborative Press
PO Box 2435
Pflugerville, TX 78691
Awlcollaborativepress.com