He’d half expected to find yet another footman outside the library, ready to open the door for him, but the hallway was empty. He slipped into the room, a smile already on his face. That smile turned into a frown when he found that the woman waiting for him was not Catherine, but Rose Hardwick. His disappointment appeared minor, however, when compared to the despair on Rose’s face when she looked up and saw him. Her whole demeanor changed and she slumped into her chair with a mirthless laugh.
She lifted a hand to massage one of her temples. “Please don’t tell me you’re here to propose marriage.”
He moved to take the seat opposite her and ignored her statement. “It was you who wanted to see me.”
“Please do not take offense,” she said with a small shake of her head, “but you are the very last person I wished to see.”
“Then why did you ask a footman to summon me?”
“I most certainly didn’t.” She straightened and removed one of her gloves. Inside the palm was a small folded note, which she handed to him. “I am here because I received that note, but I’d hoped it was someone else who’d sent it.”
Kerrick unfolded the small piece of paper. On it was a single sentence asking Rose to wait in the library. It was unsigned. He glanced back at her. “I didn’t send this. Further, I was told that someone wanted to meet me here.”
“So we were both summoned. But why?”
“I have no idea, but I think it best we leave before someone discovers us alone together.”
Rose nodded and when she stood, Kerrick rose as well.
“It was foolish of me to come, but I’d hoped…” She gave a small shake of her head. “Never mind what I had hoped. I do wonder, though. You couldn’t hide your disappointment when you saw me. Where you hoping it was Catherine who wanted to see you?”
His whole ruse was crumbling down around him and he no longer cared. “You are very direct.”
Rose smiled. “She is my friend and she cares for you. Deeply. And I think you feel the same way about her. I don’t want you to feel obliged to continue to court me because of some silly wish held by our mothers.”
“You are also very perceptive.”
“Good. So now we can put this entire episode behind us.”
“It has been a pleasure, Miss Hardwick,” he said, raising her hand to his mouth.
It was then that all hell broke loose. The door to the library was flung open, and he and Rose sprang apart, but not quickly enough. His stomach clenched when Lord and Lady Worthington burst into the room. Lady Worthington was clearly distressed at finding the two of them alone together, but her husband couldn’t hide his satisfaction. To make matters worse, several other guests were gathered around the doorway. Kerrick felt his airway constricting as surely as if someone had placed a noose around his neck. A quick glance at Rose told him that she had come to the same realization that he had. Moments ago they’d agreed to part amicably, but now to save her reputation he had no choice but to announce their engagement and pray that his reckless behavior last night didn’t mean Catherine was already carrying his child.
Kerrick spoke the words, much to the delight of the onlookers. One, in particular, looked on the scene with gleeful satisfaction. Standish.
He bowed, again, over Rose’s hand, but this time he murmured some nonsense about how happy she had made him, before excusing himself and heading for the door. He had just cleared the threshold when he froze. Headed toward him was Catherine, along with her sister and brother-in-law.
“We heard there was some kind of commotion,” Louisa said when the group reached him. “What happened?”
“Lord Kerrick has just declared his intention to marry my daughter,” Worthington said as he clapped him on the back. “Pay us a call tomorrow and we can start to make plans.”
Kerrick ignored him. All he cared about in that moment was Catherine, and the look of utter devastation on her face before she turned and fled. Louisa followed, and it was only then that he turned to look at his best friend. The anger coming off him almost made him flinch, but he couldn’t forget the expression on Standish’s face and in that moment he knew. He’d originally thought that Worthington had planned this little encounter, but the man really wasn’t that devious. It was Standish who’d arranged for him and Rose to be caught alone together, and he would only have done so for one reason. He wanted Catherine for himself. The thought chilled him to the bone.
He shook off Worthington’s hand on his shoulder and approached Nicholas. “I believe Standish has designs on Catherine. Make sure he doesn’t hurt her.”
“More than you already have? I don’t think that’s possible.”
The words, thrown out at him, were meant to hurt and they hit their mark. He said nothing more, knowing that he deserved the contempt clearly delineated in every muscle of Nicholas’s body as the man turned his back and stalked away.
Standish approached Worthington then. It took an almost inhuman effort for Kerrick to resist the impulse to drag the smug bastard outside and beat him to a bloody pulp. Instead, with fists clenched at his sides to keep himself in check, he watched as the men exchanged a few words. Standish was turned away and he couldn’t see his face, but he could see Worthington’s. And what he saw there was a mixture of relief and fear.
So this was why Rose had told Catherine that her father seemed almost desperate for their union to be formally announced. Because Standish had demanded it. And like an idiot, he’d walked right into the trap.
He remained still when Standish approached him.
“I hear that congratulations are in order.” The smug superiority on the man’s face had Kerrick clenching his fists even tighter. Out of the corner of his eye, he didn’t miss the fact that Worthington had turned to slink away, making sure to take his wife and daughter with him.
Most of the onlookers followed, but a few remained behind, no doubt waiting to see if there would be more to gossip about. But they were far enough away that they wouldn’t overhear what Kerrick had to say.
“I know you orchestrated that.”
Standish raised a brow. “Why would I do that?”
Standish was baiting him, but he didn’t care. He had nothing left to lose, after all. “You mistake Overlea if you think he’ll allow you anywhere near her.”
The other man dropped his mask of civility. “I think you should concern yourself with your bride-to-be and leave Miss Evans to me,” he said with a sneer. “Unlike you, I’m not afraid to take what I want.”
Kerrick didn’t stop to consider the repercussions of his actions. His fist slammed into Standish’s face with a satisfying crunch. Standish stumbled back a few steps, disbelief and hatred etched on his face.
“I’ll see you in hell first.” Kerrick shook out his hand as he walked away, ignoring the whispers among those who had stayed behind to witness his confrontation with Standish.
His hand throbbed, but the pain didn’t come close to touching the ache in his heart.
Chapter Fifteen
She imagined this was what it would feel like to drown. First, the shock of cold when your body hit the water, followed by numbness as your extremities started to lose feeling, the struggle to keep the dark depths from swallowing you whole. The only thing that kept her afloat now was the certainty that Kerrick and Rose’s engagement wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real, not after everything she and Kerrick had shared. Not after Rose had told her she wouldn’t accept a proposal of marriage from him.
She’d been compromised… she had no choice but to accept.
Catherine ruthlessly squelched down the doubt that threatened her sanity. It wasn’t real, she told herself over and over again as she waited for a note from Kerrick the next day. And when one didn’t arrive, she remembered that she had told him she could no longer trust Lily to keep their notes a secret.
When Louisa suggested they stay home that evening, Catherine wouldn’t hear of it. Her sister thought she was putting on a brave face and tried to insist, but it w
asn’t bravery that made her determined to attend yet another ball that evening. It was desperation. She was convinced that Kerrick would find a way to speak to her, to explain what was really happening.
When they entered the Abernathys’ ballroom, it was impossible to miss the speculative glances cast her way, but she held her head high. She wasn’t about to show any weakness in the face of the ever-hungry gossip mill.
While she feigned indifference on the surface, inside she was aware of everything going on around her. Kerrick had not yet arrived, and she did her best to keep from darting glances at the doorway every few minutes. She caught Rose looking her way and more than once thought her friend was going to approach her. But Rose’s parents remained by her side, ever vigilant, and were quick to draw their daughter’s attention away from her.
She allowed Thornton to dance with her twice. People were already gossiping about her, and she’d rather they turn their attention to speculation about future relationships than her heartbreak upon hearing of Kerrick and Rose’s engagement. And when Thornton sought her out at various other times during the evening, at least his presence helped keep Lord Standish away. She’d been aware of the way he stared at her from the moment they’d arrived, and the almost-predatory expression on his face stretched her already frayed nerves even further.
She was aware of Kerrick’s presence the moment he arrived. Even if she hadn’t seen him making his way to where Rose was sitting on the other side of the ballroom, the pitying glances cast her way would have been impossible to miss. She told herself that she had to remain strong, and so kept her smile firmly in place and accepted all invitations to dance. Even Lord Standish’s. She couldn’t help but recall how Kerrick had reacted the last time she’d danced with him, how he’d taken her aside and kissed her for the first time. She wasn’t goading him intentionally, yet it was satisfying all the same when she caught his eye and saw his clear displeasure.
Unlike that other time, however, Louisa refused to leave her side when she wasn’t dancing. So when she headed for the ladies’ retiring room, hoping that Kerrick would again waylay her on the way back, Louisa accompanied her.
But Kerrick did approach them upon their return to the ballroom. Despite the fact that he’d told her he would be careful not to be seen with her in public, she was certain he’d ask her to dance now. It was the only way he’d be able to speak to her in private. So she forced herself to accept his brief bow and waited, not so patiently, when he turned to speak to Louisa.
“I didn’t dare approach you earlier,” he said with a wry twist of his mouth. “I didn’t want to give Nicholas the chance to call me out.”
“You’re not his favorite person right now, but I daresay he’ll get over it.”
Kerrick nodded in reply and then turned his attention to her. Only instead of asking her to dance, he just looked at her for several moments. As the silence stretched, she was finally struck by the reality of their situation. The misery reflected in his eyes could only mean one thing—his betrothal to Rose was genuine.
“I’m sorry… for everything,” he managed before turning and walking away from them. From her.
Speechless, she could only stare at his back as he retreated. He couldn’t have shocked her more if he had hit her.
She was barely aware of her sister linking her arm through hers and turning her away. “We’ll leave shortly,” she whispered and Catherine could only incline her head in reply.
A detached part of her mind recognized that she was in shock, and she welcomed the numbness. She’d feel later, but right now she had to keep from breaking down.
She didn’t say anything when they reached her brother-in-law, who was chatting with the Claringtons. The sympathy in Charlotte’s eyes told her that the duchess had witnessed their exchange with Kerrick, and it threatened to push Catherine over the edge. A quick glance at the men told her that they hadn’t seen the interlude. Louisa had only to murmur something about feeling fatigued and Nicholas insisted on taking her home. But unlike that other evening when her sister and brother-in-law had left a house party early, no one said anything about Catherine spending the rest of the evening with the Claringtons acting as her chaperone.
Louisa kept up a steady stream of small talk as they made their way outside and waited for their carriage to be brought around. If Nicholas noticed her mood, he didn’t say anything. The Overlea carriage was approaching when a flurry of activity captured their attention.
As one, they turned to see Lord Worthington exiting the Abernathy’s home, flanked by two men. Everything about Worthington—his dead-eyed expression, the way his shoulders hunched in as though he were trying to make himself smaller—spoke of a man defeated. They watched as the small group moved to a carriage that was already waiting. Worthington didn’t even glance their way as he climbed into the vehicle before being followed by the two men.
“I wonder what could have happened,” Louisa said. “Worthington looks very upset.”
“Not as upset as his wife and daughter.”
At Nicholas’s words, they turned back to see Rose and her mother exiting the house. Kerrick was only a step behind them, his expression grim. Lady Worthington appeared as though she were on the verge of collapse, and Kerrick moved to support her.
Catherine watched in silence as the small group moved down the street to where a group of carriages stood waiting. They didn’t enter the same one as Lord Worthington, but continued past it to another.
Catherine was so immersed in her own misery that she couldn’t find it within herself to wonder about the strange tableau they had just witnessed. The only thing she could focus on was the fact that Kerrick was already behaving as though he were part of the Worthington family.
“Catherine.”
Her sister’s voice dragged her away from her dark thoughts as she climbed into their carriage. Thankfully no one said a word during the drive home. She was convinced that was the only reason she was able to hold back her tears until she was safely back in her bedroom.
ooOoo
Was this love, then? The certainty that life would never again hold any joy if you couldn’t spend it with the person who inspired that emotion?
It wasn’t surprising that he loved Catherine Evans. On some level he supposed he’d known it all along. How could he not? And it wasn’t just that she was beautiful, though she was that. It was everything else. She was kind, generous, but also incredibly maddening when she had made up her mind about something. She would never be content to remain in the background.
Her joy for the small things in life was delightful. The way her whole demeanor lit up when she was among her precious plants. The way she looked at him as though he could give her the very sun. And he found that he would be content to do that for her—spend his life trying to make her happy. And now he would never have that opportunity. Even worse, if his recklessness when he visited her bedchamber bore fruit, he would be the cause of her ruin and would have to watch as she married someone else and raised their child with him.
If the melancholy he felt at that moment was love, he wanted none of it. He understood now why Nicholas had been so miserable the previous fall when he believed he could never have a future with Louisa. Why he’d drink himself into oblivion, knowing that alcohol would worsen the progress of the illness from which he believed he was suffering. Kerrick had never been one to lose himself in the bottom of a bottle, but at that moment there was nothing he wanted more.
But he wouldn’t. Worthington had confessed to committing treason, but it had come too late to save him from a loveless marriage. And such selfish wallowing wouldn’t be fair to Rose, who wanted this marriage even less than he did. They were both trapped.
He hadn’t been able to sleep, and so gave up trying when the sun began to rise. He roamed the corridors of his house like a ghost, trying to will the hours to pass more quickly so he could go about setting things in motion. He and Rose would have to marry quickly if he hoped to shield her and her mother fr
om the worst of the backlash that would come when word of Worthington’s confession spread. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how effective his protection would be, but he would do what he could. Rose and her mother would have to retire to the country and remain there for some time. Perhaps after a few years, as the scandal faded and new ones took its place, they’d be able to return to town again.
Brantford had likely stayed up as well, and he wondered idly if he’d questioned Worthington himself or had someone else do it. Regardless, he knew that Brantford would gather what information he could and then pay him a visit now that this mission was at an end.
That visit came just before noon.
“You look terrible,” Brantford said after he’d been shown into the library.
Of course, Kerrick couldn’t say the same for Brantford. He was, as always, impeccably groomed. He lounged casually in a chair and appeared as though he’d spent the night in long, restful slumber. Kerrick had no idea how the man always managed to look so detached from everything that was happening around him.
“What did you learn from Worthington?” he asked, ignoring Brantford’s comment and sinking into a chair opposite him.
“Absolutely nothing beyond what we already know. He’s been selling secrets to the French about the movement of our navy. Information gleaned from his friendship with Admiral Nicholby. Of course, he was quick to point out that the Admiral wasn’t involved and had no idea what he was doing.”
“Do you believe him?”
Brantford raised a brow. “You don’t?”
“I’m not sure,” Kerrick said with a shake of his head. “This whole thing doesn’t seem right. I’m sure he was passing on information and that Standish is somehow involved, but I can’t figure out why. As much as I hate the bastard, he doesn’t strike me as the type to betray his country for money. Not when he has more than both of us combined.”
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