by Zuri Day
Dominique kissed Justin again and was out the door. All during her ten-minute drive to work, she thought about him. And Jake. A smile tickled the corners of her mouth as she remembered the previous week and how happy Justin was to have made the winning touchdown, the look of pride that had shown in Jake’s eyes as Jake spoke to her son, and the camaraderie between the three of them as they discussed his winning play. If she allowed herself to dream, Dominique would imagine many more times being enjoyed by the three of them. But as Dominique entered the luxurious surroundings of the magazine for the full-figured, fit, and fabulous, she had no time for dreaming. Her head was nowhere near the clouds and her feet were firmly planted in the realities of Capricious magazine.
Ten hours later, Dominique gratefully entered the confines of her car. The dinner had been the torture she’d expected, with the bane of her existence, François Deux, picking at details that didn’t matter and making suggestions that made no sense. It was all she could do not to curse his scrawny ass out and if it weren’t for Solveig Ericksson, the statuesque Swedish board member whom she both liked and respected, Dominique may have done just that.
Her phone rang, and the first name that came to Dominique’s mind was Jake. She looked at the caller ID and instead saw her sister’s number. “Hey, Faith.”
“You’re not going to believe what happened,” Faith responded by way of greeting.
“What?” From the sound of Faith’s voice whatever it was couldn’t be good.
“I’m so mad at Michael and Justin I don’t know what to do!”
Dominique’s heart rate increased with the volume of Faith’s ranting. “Girl, calm down and tell me what’s going on.” She’d reached her home but instead of pulling into the garage she turned off the engine as soon as she pulled into the driveway.
“I caught our sons looking at porn.”
Dominique’s mouth dropped open. “You have got to be kidding.”
“I wish I was.” The two women were silent a moment as Dominique absorbed what Faith had just told her. “They’d asked if they could watch TV in Michael’s room. I said yes and once they’d gone upstairs, I started preparing dinner. When I went up to get them, I was surprised at how quiet it was in the room. Then I eased open the door and found out why.”
“They were watching videos?”
“Nikki, that’s about the only reason I didn’t totally lose my mind about this—that it was pictures they were viewing instead of a movie. But the pics were bad enough: naked women in provocative positions, some engaged in acts of self-pleasuring. I’d never seen such a mess in all my life and I’m thirty-five years old. Aaron is just as mad about it, even though he admitted it was his fault.”
“How so?”
“Last year when we got the computer for Michael, I’d asked him to set the parental controls. He got called out of town for work that same week and evidently forgot all about it.”
“Faith, I’m just shocked. I didn’t know Justin was even thinking about stuff like that yet. He’s only eleven!”
“But he’ll be twelve next month and Michael turns thirteen in two. If there was any doubt our little boys are not so little anymore... here’s the proof.”
Dominique sighed audibly, reaching toward the ignition. She started the car and backed out of the driveway. “I just worked a ten-hour day, mostly for his ungrateful behind. The last thing I want to deal with tonight is this mess. But I’m on my way.”
“Sister, it’s getting late. There’s no need to come over tonight. I’ve already put the boys on restriction—took Michael’s computer and Justin’s handheld games. Aaron gave them a good talking to as well. Justin is sleeping on the pullout in the living room and tomorrow’s trip to the Long Beach Aquarium is cancelled. They’re feeling the heat from their wrongdoing. Tomorrow will be soon enough for you to come and add your fuel to the fire. You work too hard, Nikki. Sounds like you need your rest.”
Just as Dominique ended the call, she found herself about two minutes from Jake’s house and had the immediate urge to drop by. Calling Leland would be useless, and that’s even if she was able to get through his insecure fortress of a wife. She loved her brother-in-law to death, but wasn’t sure if Aaron’s soft-spoken nature would provide the long-term deterrent she felt her son needed. But Jake could. Dominique felt sure of that. She stopped in front of his house and, seeing lights on in the living room, picked up her phone to call him. The last thing she wanted to be was an unexpected interruption.
“Jake, it’s Dominique.”
“Nick. I’m surprised to hear from you on a Saturday night... with us remaining platonic and professional and all.”
“I’m outside your house and need to talk to you. May I come in?”
A long pause ensued before Jake responded. “Baby, nothing about me has changed since I last left your house. You can come in here if you want to... but talking will be the last thing on my mind.”
21
Dominique hesitated only briefly before opening her car door and stepping outside. She refused to acknowledge the feelings Jake’s last statement had evoked in her heart and elsewhere. This visit wasn’t about her and Jake, Dominique told herself as she rang Jake’s bell. This was about her son.
She tried to remember that as Jake opened the door and filled the space with hard, dark chocolate wrapped in a ripped white tee and gray jogging pants that rode low, exposing the trail of hair with which Dominique was all too familiar. She blinked and forced her eyes back up to Jake’s face. The look that met her made her blink again.
“It’s about Justin.”
Jake stepped back and let her in, barely resisting the urge to wrap her in his arms. He was perturbed that his body reacted to her so strongly, not to mention that today, other than work, she was just about all he’d thought about. He followed her into the living room and when she sat hugging one end of the black leather sectional that dominated his front room, he sat on the other end. The worried expression on the face of one of the strongest women he’d ever met gave him cause for alarm. That she’d said it was about a kid he was fond of and a star on his football team increased his worry.
“Talk to me, Nick. What’s going on?”
Dominique launched right in, relaying the story that Faith had shared. Halfway through the replay, she couldn’t sit any longer. Her heels clicked a staccato side note on the polished hardwood floor. “If he weren’t too big to spank, I’d wear him out,” she concluded. “My son will not grow up being a pervert!”
Jake watched as Dominique retook her position on the sectional sofa, noted how what she’d described had frazzled her nerves. He knew that he’d have to tread carefully as much as he knew it was a road he’d have to go down. “What are you going to do?”
Dominique looked at Jake. “That’s one of the reasons I’m here, to see what you would do. He’s grounded for sure, and I’ll have to remove his computer until I’m satisfied the proper controls are in place. I’m tempted to threaten him with losing the ability to play football if this happens again.”
“Not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Why would you tie this to his football dreams?”
“As a strong deterrent, that’s why! I plan to nip this in the bud.”
Jake snorted and shook his head.
“What? You don’t think I should?”
“You don’t want to know what I think.”
Dominique turned and crossed her arms. “Maybe not, but tell me anyway.”
“I think you’re making too much of this.” As if to underscore this panic that Dominique had fully embraced, Jake leaned back on the couch and began flipping through the magazine he’d been reading when she arrived.
“My eleven-year-old son is viewing porn and you think I’m overreacting?”
“Yep.”
Never at a loss for words, Dominique was temporarily speechless. “So,” she began once she’d found her voice, “you think I should do nothing, act as if what he did was oka
y?”
Jake placed the magazine on the ottoman and closed the space between him and Dominique. “I think,” he said, moving behind her and massaging shoulders that were tighter than drums, “that you need to understand the dynamics of a growing male. Wet dreams, hard-ons, jacking off, and sexual preoccupation are all a part of coming into manhood.” Jake’s hand moved from Dominique’s shoulder and began to massage the base of her neck. “In looking at those pictures online, your son was simply satisfying a natural curiosity. Are there other ways of gaining this education? Of course. And that’s where your reaction comes in. You can either use this as a teachable moment or you can punish him and close the door on your awareness of this part of his life. Because, trust me, he won’t stop doing whatever he’s doing. He’ll just learn how to effectively hide it from you.”
“It’s obvious you don’t have kids,” Dominique retorted, even as she relaxed under Jake’s expert ministrations. “I’m not down with all of that modern-day psychobabble. There are some things a child just does not do. I was hoping that you’d perhaps cosign my position, but I guess that was wishful thinking.”
“You guess correctly. I’m not going to tell a boy to stop doing what comes naturally. I actually empathize with your son,” Jake continued, running a strong thumb up the length of Dominique’s spine before massaging her arms and the top of her head. “I want to focus on what comes naturally, too.”
“Well, I’m not having it,” Dominique insisted, though her mind was now less on Justin and more on the effect Jake’s fingers were having on her body. And even though she didn’t for one minute agree with him, and was upset that he wasn’t more supportive of her point of view... she still didn’t leave his house until morning.
22
“Justin, I’m very disappointed in you.” Dominique spoke to her son for the first time since they’d gotten in the car five minutes ago and begun driving back to the Valley. She glanced over at him and then back on the road. “What were you thinking?”
Silence.
“Justin, I’m talking to you!”
Justin shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“That’s because you weren’t thinking!” Dominique sighed, still unsure of exactly how she was going to deal with the situation. When she’d arrived at Faith’s house, they’d had a little powwow—her, Faith, and the boys. Aaron had reiterated his position before leaving to play golf. Justin’s answers had been similar then: head nods, shrugs, and monosyllabic grunts. Michael admitted that it had been his idea to look at the pictures—something Faith learned he’d done with other friends on a number of occasions. “Everyone does it,” he’d insisted.
“Everyone but Justin,” Dominique had replied.
“And you,” Faith quickly added, glaring at Michael.
Dominique had left shortly afterwards with a head-hanging Justin in tow. He’d barely looked at her at all since she’d stepped in Faith’s house and even now kept his eyes fixed out the window.
“Son,” she continued in a softer voice, remembering Jake’s words and deciding to take a snippet from his point of view, “I know you’re growing up. It’s natural to be curious about girls and... that sort of thing. But you need to go about it in the right way and looking at Internet porn sites is definitely not it. Sex is about more than body parts. It’s about love and respect and a woman’s value. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
“Kinda,” Justin replied after a pause. “But I don’t understand why looking at pictures of naked girls is so bad.”
Oh, brother. This is going to be harder than I thought. “Because looking leads to thoughts that you are not yet equipped to deal with, skews your view of women and your idea of what is and isn’t beautiful. And worse, it can lead you to trying to take advantage of some little girl, maybe even getting her pregnant.”
This got Justin’s attention. He turned to her with widened eyes.
“That’s right,” Dominique continued, recognizing an opportunity to instill fear when she saw one. “Are you ready to be a father? Not be able to play football because you have to work as hard as you see me work to support you, to take care of your own child?”
“No,” Justin whispered, his brow furrowed in thought.
“Well, that’s what looking at those types of pictures leads to... fatherhood.” Dominique knew this statement was a stretch but she hoped it was an effective deterrent as well.
After a long pause, Justin asked, “When do I get back my video games?”
“When you’ve had time to think about what I said, and why your actions were not okay. You think a week is long enough for you to do that?”
Justin squirmed in his seat. “I already thought about it!” he whined.
“And what is your thought?”
“That I shouldn’t have looked at the pictures.”
“Because?”
“Because you think it’s nasty.”
“Not because I think, Justin; because it is.” Dominique’s next thought made her clench the steering wheel. “Justin, have you and Michael done more than look at pictures?”
“No,” Justin quickly replied.
“You’ve never looked at videos?”
“Uh-uh.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“What?”
“Yes.”
“Because if I ever find out that you’ve watched those types of movies, you’ll have graduated high school before you get your games back.”
After deciding that in addition to his video games, television and the computer would also be off-limits for a week, Dominique stopped by the mall so that Justin could find a book to read to fill the downtime after homework was completed. They then drove the short distance to a gourmet store where she picked up veggies and a roasted chicken. Once home, Justin went straight to his room and after a dinner in which Dominique had never seen her child so quiet, he retired for the night.
Although hardly sleepy, Dominique decided to call it an early night as well. She showered, put on one of her favorite gowns, grabbed her work, and climbed into her haven—her four-poster canopied bed. She tried to bury herself in editing, but her thoughts simply were not on it. Instead she was questioning her decisions regarding her son. Did I do the right thing by taking away his privileges? Is a week too long? Not enough time? Should I have just taken the games and left the TV? The only choice she was absolutely certain about was the computer that she was taking to work tomorrow so that Reggie could set the controls. Dominique could type eighty words a minute and Google from here to eternity but when it came to setups and functions she was totally inept. Hopefully Reggie would help ensure that at least on his home computer, Justin would have absolutely no access to pornographic sites. He won’t stop doing whatever he’s doing. He’ll just learn how to effectively hide it from you. Jake’s sober warning drifted into Dominique’s mind, and not for the first time. But how could she have let this slide without some type of reprimand? As if to answer the question, her cell phone rang.
“Hey, you,” Jake murmured after Dominique had answered. “How’d it go today?”
Dominique released a sigh, glad to turn her mental monologue into a dialogue. “Honestly, Jake, I don’t know.”
“What happened?”
She relayed her conversation with Justin. “I’ve never seen him so quiet and as soon as dinner was over he went to his room.”
Jake let what Dominique had told him sink in. “Leave him alone,” he finally said. “He’ll be all right.”
“Yes, but will I?” Dominique moved the papers surrounding her and walked to the loveseat in the sitting area of her master suite. “Justin and I have always been close. I’m all he has.”
“Where’s his father?”
“In Philly, preoccupied with an insecure, clingy wife and new family.”
“Does he see him?”
“Once or twice a year. But those two weeks in the summer and whichever holiday is convenient is hardly what bonding is made of.
When we first divorced, Leland was more active in his son’s life. But after his marriage and the birth of their first son together, things went downhill. His current wife does nothing to encourage the relationship but I don’t blame her. Leland is his father and no one should be able to talk a man out of taking care of his own child’s needs.”
“So he doesn’t pay child support?”
“He does, but it’s not money Justin longs for. Emotional closeness and physical involvement is what he needs. I used to think I could be both mother and father to my son, but boys need their fathers.”
“So have you called him about this?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Dominique shrugged. “First there’s the matter of getting past his guard dog, otherwise known as his wife, Patricia, and second, there’s the chance that Leland will do what he’s done for the past five years... nothing.”
Jake remained silent. Dominique understood why. What could he say to a statement like this?
“Jake? You there?” Dominique asked when the silence continued.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“Oh, I thought we got disconnected.”
“You know I want to see you.”
Memories of last night warmed Dominique all over, and she refused to think about the fact that she’d done what she said she’d never do again. “Me, too,” she whispered. “But you know I can’t leave.”
“I could come over there.” When Dominique hesitated, Jake added, “He doesn’t have to know.”
“I know, Jake. But I made a rule to never have men over here when Justin is home.”
Jake’s voice dropped even deeper. “Rules are made to be broken.”