by Zuri Day
Family. Dominique marveled that she was even entertaining the idea of the white picket fence. She’d thought those planks had been cut and burned a long time ago. Leland and Kevin had left a bad taste in her mouth, but Jake had turned sour to sweet and encouraged her to love again. She listened as he laughed at something Miss Bernie said, and wondered how she’d ever thought twice about having this man in her life.
“Mama said hello,” Jake said, after the call had ended, “and that she’s expecting to see you down there for Christmas.”
“What did you tell her?”
Jake reached over and grabbed her hand. “I said we’d call her later. But she’s not going to take no for an answer so ... I know your mom is expecting us for dinner as well so we’re going to have to figure out how to be in two places at once.”
A few moments later, Jake pulled up to the outdoor ice skating rink. Though not visible from where they’d parked, Dominique still gazed towards the well landscaped walkway as if she were going to her doom.
“Come on, girl,” Jake said, laughing at her expression.
“I still can’t believe you talked me into doing this.” Images of herself splayed across the ice looking like a beached whale kept dancing before her.
“I told you, it’s easy. You’ll do fine.”
“If I fall, Jake, you’d better catch me. I mean it!”
Jake paid the entrance fee and soon they were sitting on benches lacing up their skates. Michael and Justin were old pros at this sport and were off in a flash. Jake skated out on the ice a ways before returning, spinning, and coming to a flawless stop directly in front of her.
“Show-off,” Dominique pouted.
“Come on, baby,” Jake said, laughing. “I’ve got you.”
After a bit more coaxing, Dominique found herself skating. Okay, more like walking, gliding, and holding on to Jake’s hips and being pulled across the rink. Fearless kids, teens, and adults whizzed around them. Jake guided them to the side where Dominique could grab on to the railing.
“Okay, baby, listen. I want you to put your arms around me and then mimic my feet. You told me you used to roller skate, right?”
“But that was years ago, Jake.”
“Use that same rhythm, the same back and forth with the blade as you did with the roller. Just groove with my body,” his voice lowered, “the way you did last night.” Dominique felt her face grow warm. Jake kissed her on the nose. “Come on, now. Wrap your arms around me.” She did, and Jake slowly began moving. “That’s it. Now just let your body move with mine. Don’t be afraid. I won’t let you fall.”
They took one complete turn around the rink with Dominique’s triple D’s pressed into Jake’s back. During the second turn, she relaxed enough to release her grip a little, and even wave at Justin and Michael as they raced past them. By the third time around, she’d gained enough confidence to take his hand and skate side by side.
“I’m doing it!” Dominique exclaimed with excitement, as she navigated a turn looking only half as clumsy as she had before. “This is fun!”
They went around a couple more times. Jake joked with the boys and Dominique could tell that he wanted to let loose and put his skating skills to work. “Help me over to the snack bar,” she said as they neared it.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, baby. I’ll grab some hot chocolate while you men do your thing.”
She took a seat and after buying her a large hot chocolate topped with real marshmallows, Jake zoomed off in search of Justin and Michael. Moments later she laughed as she watched Jake roar past them and then witnessed the boys’ vain attempt to catch up to his long, powerful strides. Soon other skaters joined them and before long, there was a large group zipping around the outer side of the rink, leaving the inner ice for the less brave. Jake said something to Justin and his peal of laughter bounced off of the ice and into her heart. It thrilled her to see him so happy. A few more bricks from the wall around her heart tumbled down and suddenly visions of future outings with the three of them, and with her and Jake’s families, began dancing in her head.
“Stop it, Dominique,” she warned herself. It had only been official for a few short weeks and the last thing she wanted to do was be a typical female and start prematurely imagining herself with his last name. In spite of herself, however, she decided that “Dominique McDonald” sounded pretty darn good.
Dominique took a sip of chocolate and reached into her pocket for her cell phone. Oh, darn it. She’d forgotten that, at Jake’s insistence, she’d left it in the car. He knew her penchant for working, even when she was supposed to be taking a break. When she’d protested, he’d countered, “Nothing is going to happen in the next hour that you can’t handle when we get back to the car.”
A little over an hour later, the group headed back to Jake’s SUV. On the way, Michael boasted that he’d beaten Jake in a race while Justin insisted that Jake had let him win. Sensing a fight coming on, Dominique shifted the boys’ attention by asking where they wanted to eat. This brought on another debate: Michael wanted pizza; Justin, tacos.
“I’ll settle it,” Jake said, in a commanding voice that brooked no argument. “We’re not going to Italy or Mexico. We’re going Chinese.”
Michael and Justin immediately joined forces to voice their objection, and soon Jake had joined the fray. Dominique laughed as they reached the car and Jake popped the lock so that they all could climb inside.
“What about barbeque?” Dominique said, once they’d all gotten in the car.
“Yeah!” was the chorus from the backseat.
“Yes,” Dominique countered.
“And salad,” Jake added, as he buckled his seatbelt. He put the keys in the ignition and was about to start the car when he noticed his message light blinking. He reached for his cell phone, looked at it, and frowned.
Dominique was immediately concerned. “What is it?”
“I don’t know, but something’s up, several missed calls from Mama and my brothers.” Jake touched the screen and put the phone to his ear. “Hey, man.” Dominique held her breath as she watched Jake’s expression. Later, she’d swear that she witnessed the blood drain from his face. “How is he?” Jake started the car, quickly backing up and heading for the boulevard. “Tell him to hang on, bro. I’ll be there just as soon as I can.”
Jake threw down the phone and gripped the wheel with both hands. Three pairs of bewildered eyes stared at him.
“What’s wrong?” Dominique asked, a sense of dread hitting her stomach and spreading in all directions.
“It’s Harold,” Jake said. His voice grew hoarse as he continued. “He’s had another heart attack. This was a big one. They don’t know if he’ll make it.”
49
Dominique sat in the middle of her king-size bed, willing the phone to ring. She’d barely slept and had hardly eaten since dropping off Jake at the airport the night before. Knowing that time was of the essence, Jake had called the same friend with whom they’d flown to the Raiders’ game and chartered his private jet to get to Alabama as soon as possible. Dominique had asked if he wanted her to go with him, but that would have meant more time lost as she got Justin and Michael situated. “Just let me get to him, baby,” Jake had said, his voice strained with fear. “I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
That had been more than twelve hours ago. Several times, Dominique had reached for the phone. A couple times she’d even tapped his name on her Android screen. But figuring he’d call at his first opportunity, she’d stopped short of tapping his number and instead had texted that she was thinking of him, and praying.
Knowing that trying to sleep was futile, Dominique climbed out of bed, wrapped her robe around her, and padded barefoot downstairs. Today would be her day to handle the boys all alone. After so many weekends of Justin staying in Inglewood, Faith had left Alexis with Anita so that she and Aaron could spend a much-needed weekend alone. They’d gone to a spa in Palm Desert and Tessa had left a message sa
ying her sister in Tucson had had her baby three weeks early and she’d be gone for several days. So even if Jake had wanted her to go, it would have been difficult.
Dominique put on a pot of coffee and then started browsing her fridge and pantry, seeing if there was anything she could put together as breakfast for the boys. She thanked God for Tessa as she noted eggs, turkey bacon, and frozen French toast. Sure that the boys had stayed up half the night, she decided against starting to cook until she heard them up and about. In the meantime, she poured herself a cup of coffee, sat at the counter, and reflected over how her life had changed since Jake had walked into it.
She was just about to pour her second cup of joe when the phone rang. “Jake, how is he?”
“Still with us,” Jake replied, his voice raspy with weariness and emotion.
“Thank God,” Dominique whispered, clutching the phone.
“Thank God is right. If the hospital hadn’t had the records from his previous heart problems, they wouldn’t have been able to react so quickly. They wheeled him straight into surgery. He was there for five hours. They just wheeled him down to ICU. It’s still touch and go.”
At this moment, there was no place Dominique would rather be than in Alabama with her arms wrapped around Jake’s waist. “Baby, how are you? You sound exhausted.”
“It don’t matter how I am,” he responded, in a harsh voice.
Dominique wisely chose not to respond to this stress-induced comment. “Tessa’s sister had her baby, but I can take the boys over to Mama’s and catch a plane this evening ... if you want me to.”
Jake’s emotions were clearly roiling. “It’s crazy down here, baby,” he said at last. “Stay up there and handle your business. I’ll keep you posted.”
“You’ve been here for me, Jake,” Dominique countered. “Now, I want to be there for you.”
“I gotta go. I’ll call you later.” The click of being disconnected was his good-bye.
Throughout the rest of the day and into the evening, Dominique warred with her thoughts. This side of Jake—subdued, curt, vulnerable—wasn’t one she’d seen before. She tried to rationalize his behavior, put herself in his shoes. Should something happen to Faith, heaven forbid, Dominique imagined that she’d be clinging to Jake like white on rice. But men are different, she reasoned.
“Mom, we’re hungry!” Justin announced, taking Dominique’s mind off worry and, for the time being, placing it on food. She was glad for the distraction.
“What’s wrong?” As soon as Faith saw Dominique’s face, she knew there was trouble.
“It’s Jake’s brother,” Dominique said, eyeing Aaron, Michael, and Justin as they walked inside the comfortable Inglewood residence while the sisters remained outside. “Yesterday, he had a heart attack.”
“Oh, no.” Faith immediately reached out for Dominique, giving her a nice, long hug. “I’m sorry, sister.”
Dominique welcomed the embrace. “Me, too,” she said, hugging her back.
“If you need to go down there, don’t worry about Justin. We’ll take care of him. He can miss a few days of school without a problem.”
“Thanks, sister, but right now, Jake wants me to hold tight. They don’t know whether Harold is going to make it and quite frankly I’m not sure Jake wants me to see him in this frame of mind.”
“But you’re the woman who loves him. Where else would you be than by his side?”
“I feel the same way,” Dominique replied as the two made their way up the sidewalk and into the house. “And even though it goes totally against my nature, I’m trying to let Jake take the lead.”
Over the next three days, calls from Jake were sporadic. Dominique’s days were busy, spent planning the issue that would feature her life and profile as the lead story. But not busy enough not to notice that Jake seemed more and more distant. The pain of his brother’s life hanging in the balance was evident every time she heard his voice. Dominique recalled the brothers and their closeness, how Jake had looked up to Harold as a father figure when their father had died. Please let him live, Dominique found herself praying. Please don’t let Jake lose his brother. Not now, not when we have just found love.
By Thursday evening, Jake was still in Alabama. His brother’s condition still remained critical. Everyone still prayed.
“Where’s Jake?” Justin asked, shortly after they’d eaten dinner and Tessa had left.
“He’s still in Birmingham, honey,” Dominique replied. The day following Harold’s attack, Dominique had explained to Justin what had happened, that Jake’s brother had gotten very sick and had surgery, and that Jake had flown to Alabama to be by his side.
“Is his brother going to die?”
Dominique swallowed past the lump of fear in her throat as she formed an answer. “We sure hope not, baby,” she said, rubbing Justin’s arm and then squeezing his hand. She saw the look of worry in his eyes and continued. “A heart attack is very serious. But they got to the hospital quickly, so that increased Harold’s chances of getting better. So let’s just think really positive thoughts about Jake and his brother, and I think that will help them feel better. Okay?”
Justin nodded his head. But his eyes remained sad.
Dominique clasped his hands in hers. “What is it? What’s bothering you, Justin?”
Justin’s look was haunted as he locked eyes with his mother. “Is Jake coming back?”
Dominique bit her lip to keep it from trembling. Of course he’s coming back. That’s what she wanted to say but in this moment, faced with the question head on, she experienced a wave of doubt. Why wouldn’t he come back? He’s got to come back. Their recent, static conversations played in her head. He didn’t want her to come down. He didn’t know when he’d be back. Then she thought of other times when men had walked out of Justin’s life: the time when she assured Justin that Leland would return, and he didn’t, or when she acknowledged that Kevin was gone for good and the pain that truthful answer had caused.
She looked at Justin, whose eyes continued to bore into hers for an answer. So she gave him the only one in which she could absolutely be sure. “I hope so.”
50
“Hang all the mistletoe.” Dominique bobbed her head to the timeless Donny Hathaway classic as she twirled the stick of peppermint around in the drink that Aaron had made for her. He told her it was his girly holiday original: vodka, milk, peppermint schnapps, and Baileys Irish Cream poured over crushed ice. It was Christmas Eve and everyone had gathered at Anita’s house. The kids were downstairs watching movies and playing games. Anita and some of her friends were in the kitchen cooking. Aaron’s two sisters were sitting around the room either singing or humming to the music and Dominique sat alone, watching her brother-in-law dance Faith around the room. “A very special Christmas for me ...”
Or so she’d thought. In reality, Christmas was turning out to be nothing like she’d imagined. Last week, she thought she’d be dancing in the arms of her man, spending Christmas with her own family before bringing the New Year in with Jake’s family. She’d looked forward to spending her favorite holiday with a man she cared about for the first time in years, watching It’s a Wonderful Life, hearing silver bells, and laughing as Michael sang about seeing Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Instead, she sat with a smile on her face that didn’t reach her heart, trying to be happy. She wasn’t. Misery and loneliness hung like garlands around her.
Halfway through the drink, Dominique set it on the bar. She’d never been a heavy drinker and the deceptively shakelike drink was going straight to her head and adding to her melancholy. The last time she’d talked to Jake was when she’d reached him at the hospital and he said he’d call her back. That was two days ago. Her calls from yesterday and today had gone to voicemail. What is going on?
Donny’s melodious voice trailed off and soon James Brown was admonishing Santa to go straight to the ghetto. This lively number brought Aaron’s sister and her date to their feet. Even Anita came out of the kitchen, wavi
ng her hand like she was in church. Soon some of the kids came up from downstairs, laughing at the adults while mocking their dances. James took a break and the Temptations slid right in, singing “Hey, Rudolph!” The CD changed and now the Chipmunks were dashing through the snow, grandma was getting run over by a reindeer, and Paul McCartney was simply having a wonderful Christmastime.Well, I’m not, Dominique thought, as the party became more and more boisterous. Anita and her friends brought out hors d’oeuvres. Soon honey-glazed, barbequed, and fried chicken wings were being waved in the air, and plates were being filled with potato salad, baked beans, and coleslaw to soak up the now free-flowing libations. By the time Mr. Cole’s chestnuts began roasting on an open fire, Dominique had had enough. As quietly as possible, she slipped out of the living room, up the stairs, and through the first door she came to. It was Faith’s daughter Alexis’s room. With only the Frog Princess night-light to guide her way, Dominique walked around the room that so embodied her niece’s frilliness: the pink, lacy comforter covering a white, canopied bed. Rows of dolls lined the Princess dresser, its top cluttered with an open box filled with plastic jewelry, its now-still ballerina poised for the next windup.