by Cat Kalen
I instantly think about that night at the compound. When I found out about my father’s betrayal and took comfort in Stone’s arms.
“Logan… I…” A look passes between us and everything in his expression tells me he knows what I’m thinking, what I’ve done, and what I’m trying to say.
“Shh,” he whispers as he helps me from my sweater. “It’s okay.”
“I didn’t mean…” My words die on my lips as I stand before him with my body and heart exposed. Even though I’m still half dressed, I’ve never felt so naked. So vulnerable. “I never meant…”
He puts his coat over my shoulders and looks at me long and hard before saying, “It’s okay.”
I stare at him, dumbfounded. “You’re going to forgive me? Just like that?”
Logan sinks to the ground and pulls me down with him. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because sometimes love is about forgiveness, Pride.”
I swallow, the air between us charging as his warm eyes move to my mouth, yet he still doesn’t kiss me. Instead he pulls me toward him until my head is settled on his chest. He holds me tight, and I snuggle in closer, his body so achingly familiar to mine that I can’t help but take comfort in his warm strength.
We stay like that for a long time, listening to the night sounds around us. Trees creak in the downpour, animals scurry about, and I can almost feel the brush of wind when off in the distance a bird of prey takes flight.
My mind shifts to what my father said to me, and how he hopes that one day I can forgive him. Finally I break the quiet and say, “I don’t really know anything about forgiveness.”
“You will. Soon enough.”
There is an edge to his voice, one that has unease scraping along every vertebra in my spine. “What makes you say that?” I lean back until our eyes meet.
“Call it gut instinct,” he says, but I get the sense that he might know something I don’t. With that he pulls me back until I’m once again snuggled against him. As he rakes his hands through my hair, I drag his scent into my lungs. The clean, earthy fragrance of his skin combined with the possessive way he holds me makes me feel so warm and safe. It also makes me think of the way he cared for Nova.
“Logan,” I begin again.
“Yeah?”
“Did Nova’s behavior seem a little strange to you?”
“How so?”
“I don’t know.” I pinch my lips together in thought and curl the hem of his T-shirt around my index finger. “I got this odd vibe from her. Like there was more going on than she was saying.”
“She’s just been through a lot.”
“I know but…” I pause, and struggle to choose the right words so I don’t come off sounding like a jealous mate.
While I work to formulate my thoughts, he says, “She’s not strong like you, Pride.”
I tilt my head to see him and don’t miss the unfettered pride in his eyes when they meet mine. My heart misses a beat and it takes effort to speak.
“Are you sure that’s all it is?”
He gives a slow, confident nod. “I’ve known her my whole life and I think she’s suffering from shock and trauma.”
I think about it for a moment longer and come to the conclusion that Logan must be right. Maybe, under these horrific circumstances, Nova’s behavior is completely normal. After all, I really don’t know what normal is in this outside world. And maybe there is nothing more going on than my animal reacting to another fertile female.
I blink, straining to keep my eyes open, but my lids are so heavy, weighted from the strain of the day, that I can’t fight the pull of nature any longer. I close them and drift in and out of consciousness for hours, floating on some level between sleep and wakening, until a flock of chirping birds pull me from my slumber. My lids flutter open as the brightness of a new day greets me.
The morning air is crisp, but I don’t feel the bite in the wind as Logan’s heat continues to wrap around me, protecting me from the harsh, mountain elements. I rub the sleep from my eyes and emotions pool in my heart as Logan stirs awake, his lips turning up at the corners when his glance lands on mine.
“Good morning,” he says. “Sleep okay?”
I nod, and while I listen to the steady flow of his blood, my thoughts turn to his missing family. I can’t help but worry about their safety. I also think about our safety, the future of our kind, and what I must do if I want us all to live normal lives.
My eyes meet his, but from the way he looks at me I get the sense he already knows what I’m about to say. “You know I have to go back, don’t you?”
“I know.”
“You’re not going to try to stop me are you?”
“No.”
Deep inside my animal bristles, because she knows this could very well be the most important fight of her life. While she’s courageous in the face of danger, she also knows how badly it could all end.
“I’m going to leave after the full moon tonight.”
I take a moment to strategize, to put together a plan of action. As I think about how to bait the monsters, the cruel predators who need to be stopped from killing innocent shaders, Logan’s voice pulses around me and pulls me back.
“Just so you know, I’m coming with you.”
“So am I.”
I turn to see Nova standing by the open cabin door, but when my glance clashes with hers, and I see bleakness glittering beneath her pale blue eyes, darkness churns inside me and I swallow uneasily.
If we’re all backtracking to bait the hunters, why then do I suddenly have the feeling that I’m the one walking into a trap?
Chapter Four
Fortunately, the night of the full moon passes us by without incident. Thanks to Logan and all he taught me about survival, I am now better able to control my animal when she’s at her most vulnerable.
Late last evening and well into early morning, the seven of us all kept a careful watch over each other while we chased game through the mountains, sating our primal hunger and satisfying our animals until the next lunar pull.
As the sun slowly creeps over the mountain peaks to light the new day, I silently rise up from my sleeping position on the hard wooden floor, and scurry backward until my shoulders are pressed against the cold cabin wall. A familiar chill that I can’t seem to shake moves through me as the spruce boards chafing my back suck the heat from my bones.
I wrap my arms around myself and pull the stale cabin air into my constricted lungs. I scan the room and try not to feel so confined after a blissful night of running in the wide open mountain space.
I blink against the thin veil of light slicing the dark cabin, and I peruse my contented pack. In a mass of arms and legs, their bodies are snuggled together as they sleep in the small den, collapsed in a heap of exhaustion after a long, hard night. Deep inside my animal howls in delight as she appraises her new family, elated to finally be free from the master’s prison. When I think of my master and his control over the old compound, however, a shiver runs through me, because I never, ever want to feel powerless like that again.
But then a darker thought hits, one that reminds me Logan’s missing family might not be so lucky. I swallow, and my heart pounds a little faster in my chest when I think about going back, to fight this long overdue battle with the PTF.
I’m not naive enough to believe it’s going to be an easy fight or that I’ll walk away unscathed. In fact, I understand that I might not walk away at all. But I can’t let that debilitate me. Others are counting on me, and I’ve come too far to back down now.
“Hey.”
The sound of Stone’s voice inside my head, greeting me with such warmth and emotion, draws my attention. Looking rumpled and sleepy, his dark hair is a tangled mess as he sits up and shimmies backward until he’s pressed against the wall beside me. With my senses tuned, I take in the tousled state of the powerful alpha inching closer.
There is something about his familiar scent and disheveled appeara
nce that reminds me of when he was a small boy, and all the times we used to play together in the nursery. Then my brain fast-forwards to the kiss we shared in his cell.
He stretches his long, muscular legs out, and my skin tingles in awareness as this boy—my true mate—shuffles even closer until our thighs are scraping. The gentle familiarity of his touch doesn’t feel right, but it doesn’t feel wrong either. At least not after the intimacies I shared with Logan.
“Hey,” I finally say back as I think about the secret he kept from me for so long. But I now know he kept me in the dark about our bond, about our true destiny, because he was simply trying to protect me.
I angle my head and his eyes are warm when they meet mine, and for a minute I feel like I can’t breathe. So much has happened between us, so many truths have been revealed, ones that have me wondering what could have been—what very well might have been—under different circumstances. But I know now is not the time to be thinking about connections and mates, not when we’re about to face the biggest fight of our lives.
“Stone.”
“Yeah?”
My mind rewinds to what Nova told us the first night we arrived. “Did the name ‘Lewis Lake’ sound familiar to you?”
His brow furrows and he rubs his chin. After a long, thoughtful moment, he slides me a look and gives a slow shake of his head. “No. Why?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug one shoulder and feel his warm knuckles brush against my hand. I swallow as he reaches out to me both physically and emotionally, and I have to force myself to keep my mind on the current crisis. “I have this strange feeling that I’ve heard it before. I just can’t quite figure out why.”
He looks down, like he’s searching his memory. Then I feel him move deeper into my thoughts before I can stop him. When he exhales a long slow breath, I know he’s tapped into my private worries.
“I don’t trust her either, Pride,” he says. We both shoot a glance toward Nova, who looks completely content snuggled up next to her pack’s alpha.
“You don’t?” I hurry out, a chill scurrying up my spine. When his glance darts back to mine, the distrust I see in his eyes mirrors my own, giving credence to my concerns about Nova’s motives. “I thought it was only me.”
I take a moment to consider Logan, and I can’t discount the fact that he knows Nova better than Stone and I do. But can he be so caught up in his own grief, his own worry for his pack’s safety that he’s failing to see beneath her surface? Or am I really making an issue out of nothing at all? My animal merely threatened by another female?
“Logan doesn’t think I have anything to worry about.”
At the mention of Logan’s name, Stone’s eyes darken to a deadly shade of black and his nostrils flare. He rakes his hair from his face, only for it to fall forward again.
His jaw tightens and I brace myself because I know what’s coming next. “You don’t have to go back you know,” he says.
I look away from him, anger erupting inside me. “Yes, I do.” I say the words out loud as I cut the mental connection between us.
“Pride—”
“Haven’t we lost enough, already?” I ask, trying to keep my voice from rising to the point of hysteria as the others begin to stir around us. “Our childhood, our parents, our freedom?”
I glance back at him in time to see silver shards bleed into his black pupils. “We could end up losing more,” he warns.
My stomach rebels when I see the raw, tortured look on his face, his worry hitting like a fist to my gut. I suck in a hurried breath and it’s all I can do to inflate my lungs.
“And we could end up winning,” I counter, sounding more breathless than I would have liked. “Either way, you know we have to try. I’m not about to walk away from Logan’s family. They’re missing because of me, Stone.” I wave my finger back and forth between the thin column of space between our bodies. “Because of us.”
The air between us charges, a volatile eruption of emotion that neither of us can keep in check. I’m sure anyone within a fifty-mile radius can feel it, and if we don’t get it under control, it will trigger a reaction from the animals around us. Stone fists his hands, his predatory glance going from me to Logan, back to me again.
“Logan never should have let you go back to the compound. You were finally safe. It only proves that he can’t take care of you the way I can, Pride.”
When I sense his mounting fury, I work to keep my own anger in check and try to reason with him, but as I do it simply reminds me that he’s been imprisoned his whole life and is reacting the only way he knows how.
“First,” I say in a calm voice that belies my emotions, “it wasn’t Logan’s choice to go back, it was mine. And I wasn’t safe, Stone, inside the compound or out. What happened here proves that.” I wave my hands around. “If I had stayed here I would have been a part of all this. None of us will ever be safe until we stop the PTF.” I lower my voice and add, “Besides, did you really think I’d leave you there, to suffer at the hands of the master while I ran around free?” I give a slow shake of my head. “Maybe you don’t know me so well, after all.”
“You’re wrong, Pride. I know you better than anyone, maybe even better than you know yourself.” He goes quiet for a long time, then his voice is dark, grief stricken, and completely possessive when he finally says, “I let you walk away from me once. But now that we’re together again, I won’t be able to let you do it a second time.” He exhales slowly and adds, “I can’t.”
When I hear the need in his voice, a storm rolls through me and my gut clenches. “Stone, please. Don’t.”
“I can’t, Pride.” He gives a slow shake of his head. His hair falls forward to mask his eyes, but it does nothing to hide his emotions when he says, “I won’t be able to make it through. Not again.”
His grief penetrates my heart as he pulls his legs up to rest his elbows on his knees. Without conscious thought I reach over and brush the hair away from his eyes. But when I do, a deeper emotion that he can no longer hide from me moves over his face.
His hand closes over mine to still it, and his palm is warm against mine as he holds me tight. “I don’t want you to go back, Pride. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I blow a wayward lock off my face, and with more bravado than I feel I announce, “Nothing will happen to me.”
There is desperation in his voice, a level of anxiety I’ve never heard from him before when he counters with, “You can’t say that.”
“I’m going back,” I say firmly.
He grits his teeth and the laugh lines playing along his mouth deepen—not that his life has given him much to laugh about.
I can feel his blood run cold when he says, “Then I’m coming with you.”
We sit there for a long time, lost in thoughts while we stare at each other. Heat radiates from his hand to mine, but I still can’t shake the coldness inside me. Then, a distant voice breaks the moment.
“Pride?”
My head jerks up to see Logan staring at me. He rises to his full height, and drives his hands into his pockets, pulling his pants low on his hips. Watching his hands has me thinking of my own and I instantly pull away from Stone’s protective hold and hurry to my feet.
“Everything okay?” he asks, his voice full of dark suspicion as he zeroes in on Stone.
“Everything is fine,” I manage to get out as I move toward the sink for a drink. I draw a shaky breath and continue with, “Stone was just telling me he is coming with us.”
I walk past Logan, and my primal side bristles as his warm earthy scent of clean morning air and fragrant pine needles wraps around me. Logan and Stone glare at one another for longer than what’s comfortable, then Logan looks at me as the others around him begin to stir. The concern brimming in his blue eyes touches a soft spot deep inside me and forces me to look for a distraction. I swallow my water in big gulps and it helps me get myself under control.
Logan steps toward me and his voice is low
when he says, “We’re all coming with you, Pride. I thought you understood that.”
“No,” I blurt out, not wanting anyone else to get hurt because of me. “It’s not a good idea.”
I spin back around, and when I see the respect and strength in his eyes as they lock on mine it reminds me that these shaders—ones who live so differently from what I’m used to—are pack animals, ones who live and die together.
I give a hard shake of my head. “Sandy’s in no shape and Gem has been through enough.”
Sandy and Gem both look at me in confusion and I try not to flinch under their probing gazes. Gem speaks first. “Pride, we’re family now, and where I come from, family sticks together. You didn’t leave me back at the compound and I’m not about to leave you now.”
Sandy blinks from her perch on the bed. “If it wasn’t for you…,” she begins then swallows before saying, “I don’t know what would have become of me. This is as much my fight as it is yours, Pride.”
That I now have a family, and they’re determined to fight this battle with me, has my heart doing a little flip in my chest. It also reminds me that these shaders believe in me, and it’s their faith that has me renewing my vow to find Malcolm and the others and end this fight with the PTF once and for all.
“Then we’d better get a move on,” I say around the lump forming in my throat, knowing now is not the time for a public display of emotions. “We’re wasting precious daylight hours.”
With that everyone climbs to their feet and we all begin the final preparations for the long trek back. We travel down the mountain, and less than an hour later, my father returns with a massive SUV that can carry more than all seven of us.
Stone shares a seat with Gem and Sandy, while Logan rides shotgun. Nova takes the second to last row and I climb into the far back, needing time with my thoughts as my father negotiates the car down the highway, toward the ferry that will take us back into the United States.
Retreating into myself, I stare blankly out the window, my mind working through the various scenarios that we might face. I look at the maps my father bought while he was in town, and I think more about Lewis Lake. I pinpoint the area on the chart, and while I’m sure I’ve never physically been to this specific location, I still can’t shake the haunting feeling that I’ve heard of it before. I search my mind again, the answer continuing to dance out of reach.