Fragmented

by Colleen Connally

  She realized she would have to come to terms with her memories. They weren’t going away. She couldn’t sleep at night. Every time she shut her eyes, she saw Matthew…Karl. She felt Karl fall dead on top of her. The look of shock and surprise was embedded in her mind.

  She couldn’t snap out of the darkness that had gripped her. Dr. Roselle said it would take time. The important thing was she was feeling. The days would get better. It would take time.

  Time. Would time heal her heart? She doubted it. She had sent him away. Her therapist said she would have to deal with him if she decided to keep the baby. The therapist couldn’t understand why she had shut him out. Hadn’t he rescued her? Hadn’t he wanted to continue their relationship? He had even had a session with Dr. Roselle himself.

  But how could she deal with Darren? Guilt had sent him after her. She couldn’t tell him. Out of everything, she couldn’t be an obligation to him…a complication that would turn into resentment.

  It had been her fault. The deaths. Matthew…the innocents she didn’t even know. She should have known…she should have known.

  She halted. Her path had taken her here, once more to her mother. The cemetery was peaceful and quiet. She sat down by the headstone and cried.

  * * * *

  Darren excused himself from the deposition. He had handed it over to Ethan Gilles. Breton had shown his human side over the last month, especially since Kennedy had decided to stay on with the district attorney’s office. He told him to take all the time he needed to handle the situation.

  Darren floored his car. He supposed he could have waited but when the call came from Zach, he didn’t care. His frustration had built over the last few weeks. Her rationale made no sense to him. She should be mad at him. Shout, scream, at least react. He wanted her to react.

  He needed only a moment with her. He had to make her understand…

  She had to be scared. Mobley had survived. The thought of him living must weigh heavily on her. Darren wanted to tell her she had nothing to fear. There would be no trial. Not yet…probably not ever.

  Word came down last week that the court had committed Mobley to Selmer Psychiatric Facility until he was deemed mentally competent, which seemed highly unlikely in the near future.

  Dr. Schafer’s diagnosis of a fractured…fragmented personality had been confirmed. Officially, the diagnosis had been dissociative identity disorder, along with a long list of other disorders.

  Schafer had formulated a fragmented scenario of Mobley’s plot. He theorized that when Mobley realized Cameron was pregnant, he saw an opportunity to redeem himself. Besides the extensive abuse Mobley suffered as a child, he had watched as his father tortured his mother—raping her, beating her…killing her. The one thing that sent Mobley over the edge was not saving his mother.

  Schafer hypothesized that Mobley set up Karl’s death to become a hero in Cameron’s eyes. A journal had been found in one of his computers, detailing his rambling thoughts. Mobley had discovered Karl had betrayed him…had planned to steal their business. Mobley had even expressed his fears that Karl would kill him in his sleep, which turned out to have been a valid fear.

  Evidence gathered suggested that Karl had planned to do away with Mobley, along with Cameron. It would have been the only way Karl could escape the noose Mobley placed around his neck, but Karl underestimated Mobley.

  Greg’s personality had been submissive to Karl’s dominant personality. Raymond’s persona long had been the driving force behind Greg’s actions…the protective one…the one that destroyed anything in his way of giving Greg the life he fantasized. Then it crumbled…

  At the moment, the feds were still following the money from the Magellan Voyage website. One account, though, seemed to have been set up to be found…the one that Mobley had put in Cameron’s name…holding over a million and a half dollars. Brophy figured it was Luciano’s money. In Mobley’s mind, it was due to Cameron. It would take time to determine ownership, but it wasn’t a worry of Darren’s.

  All that Darren cared about was that Cameron was free of the crazed man. Free. Schafer destroyed anything left of Mobley’s fantasy. Schafer told the creep that Cameron had lost the baby. It would have done no good denying a fact Mobley believed. His hope was acknowledged and then extinguished, along with any connection to Cameron.

  He turned the corner and pulled down the side street. Bare trees lined the lane to the cemetery. He parked the car as soon as he caught sight of her sitting by her mother’s grave.

  The wind picked up as he walked toward her. His heart ached. She looked so damnable thin huddled against the headstone. So sad.

  Dry leaves crunched beneath his feet as he made his way to her side. If she heard him, she gave no indication. She pulled her coat tighter around herself.

  “Cameron.”

  She didn’t look up. She didn’t move.

  “Cameron,” he repeated, leaning down. He helped her stand. “Are you okay? Zach called me. He’s concerned about you.”

  She turned back to the grave, never looking at him. “He shouldn’t have. I asked him not to worry about me,” she answered. She stared at the headstone. Mary Sullivan Quinn, Beloved wife and mother.

  She shivered. He reached around her and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t pull away. Instead, her trembling hands touched his. In return, he held them in his.

  “I’m fine, really. The doctor said I’ve healed up nicely. Scars, but that’s to be expected. I’m sure Dad has already told you I’m fine. I appreciate your concern, but...”

  “Stop it, Cameron. Stop it,” he said, abruptly. “I’ve been patient, but no more. You’ve pushed me away long enough. I’ve listened to everyone tell me it’s best to give you space…time. Tell me, Cameron. Tell me why you pushed me away. Do you hate me that much?”

  Her voice trembled. “I don’t hate you, Darren. I couldn’t.”

  He whispered in her ear. “Then talk to me, Cameron. Tell me what it is. I want to know what you’re feeling.”

  “I don’t want to feel. It hurts too much. I want my mother. I need her. I miss her so much.”

  Suddenly, she began to cry…sob. Gently, he turned her and held her tightly against him until the tears eased.

  “I can’t sleep, Darren. I close my eyes and I’m back there. I trusted them, both of them,” she said, choking back her tears. “I’m responsible for so many people who died. The young boys, the girl he killed just to hide me. Innocent. So innocent. They didn’t deserve it.”

  “You’re not responsible. You have to know that. Logically, you know that, but your heart doesn’t listen to logic. You think you could have done something…seen something. You were around him for years. Trusted him, encouraged him, supported him. You want to be told you weren’t responsible for all the horrific things he did.”

  She looked up at him. “Yes, yes. Oh, Darren, I wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats. The dreams keep me up. I hear the girl’s cry. I see Karl’s terrified face frozen forever in time. I see Matthew. They are haunting me.”

  “I understand, Cameron, I do. I felt guilt when Sara died. I kept thinking if I had noticed something earlier…I could have saved her. I failed her.”

  Cameron’s eyes conveyed her compassion. “Darren, she would never have wanted you to grieve forever.”

  He sighed heavily. “I know that. The last thing she told me was to live and be happy. She wanted me to be happy. I went to a counselor, also. He told me I was going to have to make a choice. You will too.”

  “Choice? What choice?”

  “To live,” he said plainly. “You have to make the decision to leave it behind. No matter how hard it is, you have to push it behind you. It’s not your fault.”

  “Then why am I so sad, Darren? Why can’t I shake this feeling of gloom?”

  “I want more than anything to take your pain away…I can’t, but I am here. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused. He reached over and lifted her face to his. He gently kissed her lips. “M
aybe it’s time for you to let someone take care of you. You have always taken care of everyone else. For once, lean on someone. Lean on me, Cameron. Lean on me.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  He pushed a lock of hair out of her face. “I know, Cameron. I know about the baby.”

  Tears began to fall again. “I didn’t mean for you to.” She gulped. “Not yet.”

  He wanted to press and tell her he wanted the baby. He wanted to tell her that it was theirs, made from their love…the love they shared, but Dr. Roselle warned him not to pressure her. Instead, he said, “Why didn’t you tell me, Cameron? I would never abandon you. You have to know that.”

  “I couldn’t. I don’t want you to feel a sense of duty. I don’t want your pity…I couldn’t bear if you hated me.”

  “Hate you? Never. It’s mine and it’s part of you. You…Cameron. I haven’t known much these last few weeks, but one thing…the only thing I’ve known is how I feel about you. From the first moment at the Bruins game and you smiled, you had my heart. I knew that night. You can’t deny that.”

  She gave a slight nod. He caressed her face. “You told me once you had lost your faith. I thought I had too, but during the time you disappeared I prayed…I hadn’t prayed in years, but I prayed to find you. God answered that prayer.

  “He gave me a second chance. I want that chance with you, Cameron. And in all this maybe, just maybe, it’s his way of saying that we should…no…need to be together.”

  “I don’t know, Darren, with everything that has happened. I don’t know…”

  “Then let’s take it one day at a time. Tell me you don’t want this…tell me you don’t feel what I feel.”

  She hesitated. “How do you know I want to keep the baby?”

  “I’ll be with you no matter what you decide, Cameron. Just don’t cut me off.”

  “You don’t understand, Darren. I used to be able to handle most anything. I just don’t think I can take…” She choked up. “You’re right. I have never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. I need you, Darren…I want you, Darren, but not if you don’t…I don’t know if I could take it.”

  He kissed her, embracing her so tightly as if he would never release her. She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

  “I love you, Cameron,” he whispered against her lips. “I fell totally, madly in love with you that first night. I should have gone with my instinct and never let you go. I have no intention of letting you go now.”

  “You don’t fight fair.”

  “Never. Give me…us a chance. All I ask…a chance.”

  She stared up at him. “I do…I do love you.”

  He smiled down at her. He didn’t give her a chance to protest, but took her in his arms.

  “Darren, put me down. I can walk.”

  “Sweetie, I’m not giving you a chance to change your mind. You’re mine. I’m not wasting another minute. Going to stop and pick up some of your clothes. Then I’m taking you home.”

  “Home?”

  “Home,” he reasserted. They looked at each other for a long moment. A small smile emerged on her face. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to be going home with the woman he loved. It felt right.

  Epilogue

  Brophy stood beside Darren on the hill beside the lighthouse in Falmouth. A comfortable breeze blew on this lovely August evening. Behind them, the sun would set soon over the breathtaking oceanside scene.

  Brophy remembered lazy summer days spent on the Cape shore, wonderful lazy days. He and Lauren had taken the kids many a day to enjoy the beach and sun. His parents before him had done the same. Funny, he could see his little sister Sara running along the water on the beach, running in far enough to get her feet wet and then running back.

  She couldn’t have been more than three, not long before her diagnosis of leukemia. He could see her face so clearly, jovial cheery bright blue eyes, laughing, with her blonde curls bouncing. She had idolized her older brother.

  She turned a blind eye to his faults. God, he missed her. It hit him every so often, more so today. He studied Darren, looking handsome and happy. Happier than he had seen him in years. He deserved to be happy. He had made his sister happy. Darren had mourned his sister. Now it was time to live again. Sara would have wanted Darren to be happy.

  Brophy turned as the music began. Cameron appeared at the entrance to the lighthouse with her father. Her hand lay lightly on his arm. Today was Cameron’s day…a joyful day.

  She looked quite lovely. She had a glow about her with a radiating smile. Her long dark hair was swept up into a stylish knot. She wore a simple cream dress that accented her coloring. Though, it could not hide her swelling belly. She didn’t try. Everyone here knew her story, Darren’s story—their story—and they were surrounded by those who loved them…their family.

  Her father walked her up to the reverend. He handed her over to Darren, but not before he kissed his daughter’s cheek. Her gaze turned toward Darren as the reverend began the ceremony.

  Brophy’s attention turned when his own daughter stepped up in front of everyone. Sara was excited to have been picked to do a reading for the wedding of her godfather. She looked like her namesake with her wavy blonde hair and lively blue eyes. She caught her father’s eye before she began. She gave him a nervous smile.

  He was proud of his girl. He caught Lauren’s eyes. They might not have made it work, but the kids—that they got right. His attention turned back to his duty of best man. He listened to the two exchange their vows, to declare their love to each other.

  He hoped they could hold to that love. There would be no guarantees, no certainties, but there again, no one ever had them. At least, they had a shot...a fighting chance.

  The sky turned an exquisite red tinge as the sun lowered in the sky. The reverend announced they were husband and wife and were greeted with approval from their guests.

  Cameron had only invited her father and Zach. Darren had his parents, who seemed thrilled with their son’s decision. They had long given up hope of ever having a grandchild. His own parents had made the trip. Darren would always be considered family.

  Lauren came with the kids. He heard she was seeing someone, but he was thankful she didn’t bring him. He wasn’t ready to deal with a new man in his ex-wife’s life.

  Laughter filled the air. Cameron leaned in, listening to Sara. She broke away with a smile. Sara laughed and hugged her new aunt. A moment later, Cameron pushed back hair in Amelia’s face as she raced up to the bride. Jake stood by his uncle. He stood almost as tall. Kennedy came up behind his new bride. He reached around her, his hand on her expanding stomach. Her hand lay on his as she gazed up lovingly into his eyes. He returned it.

  Brophy moved to join the group. The thought hit him as he greeted the new Mr. and Mrs. Darren Kennedy. Mobley had been right about one thing.

  Cameron was going to make a good mother.

  The End

  Dear Readers,

  Fragmented was born out of my love for mysteries. It was also born out of my love for my community. Fragmented is set in Boston. Boston is my adopted home. I moved up here from the deep South back in 1985.

  Fragmented is dedicated to the people of my adopted home. During the marathon bombing, I have never been prouder of the place I call home. If you're not from Boston, you might not realize what the Boston Marathon is to the city. It's huge. The bombing was something that wasn’t supposed to happen in our country...our home...our Boston.

  I wasn't in Boston when one of the suspects was killed and the other caught. I had flown out earlier that morning. I had gone back to Mississippi. While I was flying down South, the city of Boston was on lock down. I listened to travelers talk about Boston and I couldn't have been prouder of the people. The people of Boston did what they needed to do.

  After the danger passed, it left the victims to pick up the pieces of their lives. In the immediate, the hearts of everyone opened up and gave. At the time, I pledge
d a week's royalties and I did donate. I split what I gave between two charities.

  I pledged to do more. One of the things I comprehended quickly was how horrific some of the injuries were. They were life changing. Some of the victims have lifetime disabilities. I don't want to forget the victims. In most crisis situations, I can’t do more than give a donation to a cause.

  But with the Boston Marathon bombing, I wanted...needed to do more. In the community I grew up in, when someone was in need, people gave what they could. Giving is a quality that I was instilled with as a child. It's who I am. I want to give what I can. So I decided to give a part of me… my writing.

  This I pledge to you. I will donate half of my royalties that I get from Fragmented to a charity in Boston. Know this pledge comes from my heart. I wanted to do something that would keep giving. To me, this is not a temporary gift. It is my intention for this to be a permanent arrangement.

  I hope you enjoy Fragmented.

  Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

  Colleen Connally

  Contact Colleen Connally/Jerri Hines at:

  Twitter- @jhines340

  http://jerrihines.org/

  Jerri Hines Booklist

  The Cry For Freedom, Book One, Winds of Betrayal Series

  Embrace of the Enemy, Book Two, Winds of Betrayal Series

  Kiss of Deceit, Book Three, Winds of Betrayal Series

  The Heavens Shall Fall, Book Four, Winds of Betrayal Series—

  Coming 2014!

  The Judas Kiss, Book One. Tides of Charleston Series

  The Promise, Book Two, Tides of Charleston Series

  Another Night Falls, Book Three, Tides of Charleston Series