by Nina Singh
He dropped her hand and pulled away before she could even think of a way to answer.
Tori took a sip of her drink, suddenly warm from the inside out. Though it tasted heavenly—a perfect combination of tart and fruity—the cocktail didn’t do much to cool her down.
“So who’d you run into?” Clay was asking.
It took a moment to process what he meant.
“Before we left the resort,” he added.
“Your sister, actually.”
His eyebrows shot up. “How was Gemma back so fast? That shopping trip was supposed to take all day.”
“Not Gemma. Adria.”
A shadow crossed his face. “Oh. I’m guessing Enrique grew impatient and wanted to come back early. He enjoys such outings even less than I do.”
Tori stayed silent, letting him run with his conclusion about Adria’s early return. Trying to correct him could lead to a verbal land mine she didn’t want to try to navigate. A slip-up would be all too easy.
“I haven’t spoken to her in a few days,” he said on a deep sigh. “Been meaning to rectify that. Just don’t want to start an argument.”
Tori knew she had to tread carefully. The last thing she wanted was to betray Adria’s trust. Another woman’s secret was not hers to tell, especially not one on that level of importance. Though maybe this rift between siblings could be faster healed if Clay knew. Still, it was not her place to decide.
“I would say it’s worth a try. Risk of argument notwithstanding. Maybe you two just need an open and honest sit-down.”
“And I should make the first move?”
She leaned further toward him. “Someone has to.”
He rubbed his eyes and took a deep swallow of his drink. “I know you’re right. Just putting it off.”
He’d mentioned their mother had had something to do with whatever they were butting heads about. “I’m sure you both have valid viewpoints. Might be worth simply weighing those against each other.”
He scoffed. “If only it were that simple. For some reason, Adria suddenly decided she’d like to contact our estranged mother. I can’t begin to imagine why.”
What exactly was the story there? The mother had never been involved in the previous wedding. And the woman certainly wasn’t in attendance at this one.
“Adria found her on some social media site,” Clay continued. “They’ve been messaging or whatever the kids call it.”
“I see.” Tori was beginning to see, indeed. She could think of more than one reason a woman experiencing an exhausting pregnancy might want to seek the comfort of a mother, estranged or not. Adria probably felt vulnerable and in need of nurturing. As considerate as Clay was as a brother, he wasn’t exactly the nurturing type. And while Gemma and Adria seemed close, Gemma was on the brink of a whole new chapter in her own life. Which would no doubt mean less support and sisterly affection.
Though, judging by Clay’s attitude, their mother clearly hadn’t been all that loving.
“Hard to believe she even wanted to send her a last-minute invite to the wedding,” Clay snapped through gritted teeth.
“And you refused.”
He thrust his hand through his hair in frustration. “Not exactly. But something close to that.”
“Oh?”
“I told her that if that woman attended, I certainly would not.”
“Oh, Clay.”
“I know it sounds extreme. Unreasonable. But, trust me, I have my reasons. That woman has no business reentering our lives. Not for any reason.”
Tori searched his face, silently willing him to continue. To just get it all out in the open, to maybe purge himself of the burden of it once and for all.
He finally began after several tense moments. “She remarried within a year after my father died,” he told her. “And my stepfather was not a very nice man.”
It was her turn to reach for him.
“In fact, he was skillfully cruel,” Clay added.
“Your mother didn’t stop it in time.”
He grunted in disgust. “Worse. She pretended it wasn’t even happening.”
* * *
Clay’s mouth had gone dry. Surprisingly, he looked down to find he’d already polished off his drink. Tori held firmly to his hand, her comfort and warmth spreading through him, right to his core.
Her eyes had grown shiny. But he didn’t see any pity in their depths. That, he wouldn’t have been able to bear. No, the only emotion he could sense was pure empathy.
“Tell me,” she said on a shaky whisper.
The memories came roaring back like a tsunami of shame and anger. And hurt. Then the words just started to pour out.
“He loved to remind me that I was weak. I was never the sort of son he would have wanted.”
“Weak? You were a child.” Tori’s voice shook with outrage on his behalf.
“A child who always had his head in a book. Or was sketching a picture or a design of some sort.”
“And now you’re a famous, accomplished architect. You must have had talent even at such a young age.”
“He didn’t see it as talent. He saw it as dreamy and worthless. At least I was able to keep him away from Gemma and Adria. That was all that mattered. The more he focused on what a disappointment I was, the less he was interested in the two of them.”
She squeezed his hand. “You turned yourself into bait. To protect your sisters.”
He shrugged. “What choice did I have? I could handle him. They wouldn’t have been able to. He could be vicious.”
“He was physical, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah, but he was sneaky about it.”
“Sneaky?”
“Yeah. A baseball would get misthrown and hit me in the chest. Somehow I wouldn’t see his feet while running and trip over them. Things like that.”
Now that he was saying the words out loud, the confusion and anger of those years threatened to bubble to the surface. Somehow focusing on Tori’s face served as a buffer. “He just said it was proof I was not athletic and that my clumsiness was the reason any of it was happening.”
“As though it was all your fault.”
“Exactly. And my mom believed him. Because it was easier for her.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. No child deserves that.”
He sneered. “If my mother thought so, she didn’t bother to say it. Or do anything about it.”
“You have every right not to want to forgive her.”
Forgiveness had never even crossed his mind, not since he’d walked out of his mother’s house for the final time years ago, taking both his sisters with him.
Why Adria felt the need to revisit any of the past was beyond his comprehension. She hadn’t seemed to be able to give him any kind of answer when he’d asked. Yet somehow she was looking to open a sealed door that would let that past horror gush back into their lives. For no good reason that he could see.
Clay suddenly felt a heavy weariness settle over him. He hated that he was fighting with his sister. But her motives just didn’t make any sense.
“Is that why you set up a charity for children?” Tori asked him now.
He shrugged. “I suppose it had a lot to do with it. My only escape growing up was a local teen center. It ran solely on donations and volunteers. The only peace I had was when I escaped there for a game of basketball or to just hang out. I guess I wanted to pay it forward.”
“That was very noble, Clay. I hope you see that.”
“I don’t know about that.” He stared at his empty glass. “Being able to do something for those kids benefits me as much as it benefits them.”
Her eyes softened even as her grip on his hand tightened. “That says a lot about you. Tells me all I need to know about your character.”
Clay wasn’t sure what tha
t meant. How could he explain to Tori that helping those kids helped him to recapture some of the innocence he’d abruptly lost when he’d had to grow so suddenly after his father’s death.
Not that he needed to explain it. And he certainly didn’t need to unburden himself this way to her. “We don’t need to talk about any of this. It’s all in the past. What’s done is done.” He took his arm away, perhaps a little too forcefully. Tori slowly placed her hand back at her side.
“I could use another drink.” Standing on shaky legs, Clay took his time walking over to the bar. He needed a moment, without Tori watching him with those kind, sympathetic eyes. Part of him felt rather relieved that she knew about that part of his life now. Another part felt shaky and vulnerable.
Is that what love is, then?
Whoa. What?
Clay froze in place. How had that word even come up? He really was a mess, throwing such loaded words around even silently. Yes, he and Tori appeared to be compatible in any number of ways. And clearly there was some sort of spark between them, a current of electricity. There was just so much about her he liked and admired. Her kindness. Her dedication when it came to her craft. The way her smile brightened a darkness within him that he’d never thought would see light.
But none of that meant love. He’d seen what love could be when his father was still alive. His parents had truly been happy together.
Clay had also seen what love was not. He’d seen how losing the man she’d adored had broken all that was decent within his mother. What his stepfather and she had shared was nothing more than an attachment to each other, a codependency that had led his sole remaining parent to neglect and betray the very same people she was supposed to cherish and protect.
Why would Clay risk leaving himself open to such vulnerability? Especially after what he’d overcome.
He and Tori weren’t even dating, for Pete’s sake. They’d just been spending time together for a few days, not even that long.
Must have been something in that drink. He was going to switch to soda.
* * *
It was completely dark by the time they made it back to the resort and Clay walked her to her room.
Tori’s heart still felt heavy thinking about their conversation at the bar. The things about his past that he’d confided in her would stay with Tori for the rest of her life. People could be so cruel. And those who were meant to protect the most vulnerable so often couldn’t be bothered to do the right thing.
How little she’d known about him all this time. To think, she’d found him attractive before. To know now all that he’d overcome, and just how far he’d made it in life despite such punishing odds, added admiration to the myriad feelings she felt for Clay Ramos.
Including longing.
She couldn’t deny it any longer. She yearned for him, wanted him with every cell in her body, down to her bones.
So what was she going to do about it?
“Thanks again for being my pirate playdate,” he said with a smile that seemed less than heartfelt. No wonder. Their lighthearted afternoon had certainly grown heavy into the evening.
“You’re welcome.” She held up the silly pirate’s hat. “Thank you for my souvenir.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good night.” He saluted her with the fake cutlass before landing a soft peck on her cheek.
Tori’s heart pounded in her chest as he made to leave. He’d taken one step before she found her tongue. “Wait!” She hadn’t meant for her voice to sound quite so urgent.
Clay turned, giving her an inquisitive look. “Something wrong?”
No. Yes. How was she going to articulate what she wanted? She had no experience with this. With Drew, he’d always been very clear about what he’d been after. Her desires and needs had always been afterthoughts.
She wasn’t used to asking for what she wanted.
The truth was, she’d felt a kindred spirit when Clay had told her about his stepfather. In so many ways, she could relate to how he’d been mistreated by the bullying adult his mother had brought into their lives.
Unlike her, however, Clay hadn’t chosen his tormentor. And he’d found a way to channel his turmoil into something productive and charitable. He’d found a way to help others, whereas Tori had barely been able to help herself.
Well, maybe this would be step one of that process.
“I’d like it if you would come in. Very much,” she managed to blurt out.
Heat flooded his eyes and the muscle in his jaw clenched. “There’s no storm tonight, sweetheart.”
Aside from the proverbial storm raging within her. “I know. And I know what I’m asking.”
“I’m not certain you do. Or if you’ve thought it through all the way.”
Her heart plummeted to her toes. If this was his way of telling her he’d rather not be with her, she didn’t think she would ever recover.
But she wasn’t about to walk anything back. Much too late for that.
Her expression must have given away her thoughts.
“You can’t think I don’t want you,” he said on a low growl. “You have to know better than that.”
Relief and joy blended into a potpourri of emotion through her core. Her body was humming, her desire ratcheting up several notches at hearing that he did indeed want her, too. “Then what are we going to do about it, Clay?” The answer was oh so obvious as far as she was concerned.
“If this is some kind of pity—”
She physically clasped her hand over his mouth. “Please stop right there. Before you say something we’re both going to end up regretting.”
He gently pulled her hand from his lips. “I’m sorry. It’s just been an intense couple of hours. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us.”
“There won’t be. I understand what I’m asking for.”
He gently trailed a finger down her cheek then tucked a loose strand of her hair in place behind her hear. “Are you sure, Tori? Because I’m trying to be really up-front here. I can’t be someone I’m not. And I can’t give something I don’t have to give.”
“Then I’ll take whatever you can give.” She made sure to emphasize the last two words.
Dear heavens, who was this daring, unapologetic woman so blatantly stating what she was after? Tori didn’t think she’d ever been so bold in the past, or could ever be so bold again.
And then she couldn’t think at all. Clay’s hand moved with lightning speed to grasp the back of her neck under her hair. He pulled her to him and took her mouth with his in a way that could only be described as savage. Demanding. Punishing. In all the best ways. She groaned under his mouth, let her hands roam across his chest and along his shoulders. Beneath his shirt, his skin felt like fire under her fingers. Her mind simply screamed for more.
He was pushing the door open behind her, half carrying her inside, their lips still fused together.
They didn’t make it past the sofa until several hours later.
CHAPTER EIGHT
TORI DIDN’T HAVE to open her eyes to know that the bed was empty. She could feel his absence. Had he just up and left? It seemed implausible, after the night they’d shared, that he wouldn’t so much as bid her good-bye before just taking off.
Memories flushed through her mind and she felt her cheeks burn. Clay had been arduous yet gentle. Demanding yet generous. Her body still tingled in response.
But now he was gone.
Forcing one eye open, she glanced around the room. Though his pants were nowhere to be seen, his shirt still lay where he’d haphazardly tossed it on the floor last night.
So he was here somewhere still, unless he’d dashed shirtless across the resort to his own room. Highly unlikely. Maybe he was getting a drink of water or something. She could use some herself. Embarrassingly enough, she found herself giggling. Maybe they could take up
where they’d left off.
The sound of the balcony door opening then shutting again solved the mystery. He’d simply been out for some air.
He appeared in the doorway a moment later. “What’s got you so amused this bright and early in the morning?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Very.”
“I was just remembering,” she said with a coyness that surprised her. Even her voice sounded unfamiliar to her own ears.
He reached for her stuffed rabbit where it sat on the TV stand. “This thing’s been staring at me. Rather accusingly, I might add. As if I took his spot last night.”
Tori laughed. “I’ve had that for as long as I can remember.”
He studied the worn and tattered outer material. The thing had been patched up more times than the scarecrow in that children’s story. “I can tell. It’s clearly seen better days. I saw it in your apartment back in Boston. So you travel with it, too, huh?”
She nodded. “It’s the only thing I have of my biological mother. She gave Eloise and me identical stuffed rabbits before we were adopted out.”
“Ah, so it’s sentimental.”
“Very.” How odd that they were speaking about her stuffed rabbit when all she wanted to discuss was what they’d shared last night. Wasn’t he feeling the slightest bit affected?
He walked over to the bed and handed her the toy, then gave her a tender peck on the cheek. Chaste. Innocent. Completely different than the way he’d kissed her last night.
It took all she had not to grab his arm and pull him down onto the mattress. Something told her it wouldn’t be a good idea. That the reaction she’d receive wouldn’t be entirely what she hoped for.
She propped her pillow and sat straight instead, the stuffed rabbit clutched snugly to her chest. “Were you just getting some air out there? On the balcony?”
“Actually I was just waiting for Gemma and Tom to come by on their morning run. We don’t want a repeat of the last time I left your place in the morning. This time I don’t think she’d quite believe it if I tried to tell her that nothing happened between us.” With that, he picked his shirt up and began putting it on.