by Eason, Mary
I couldn’t find an answer for her. I tried to smile as I lifted my hand in a gesture of silent goodbye before leaving the diner.
When I got into the car, I cried all the way back to my house.
*****
Back home in Eagle’s Bluff, the temperature had dropped considerably. Even though it was still summer in most of the country, it was well into the freezing temperatures this high in the mountains. There was a dusting of fresh snow around the house and in the trees as I parked the SUV n the drive and unpacked our things.
I watched while Bo sniffed around the place as if looking for something. I found myself after dumping my overnight bag inside the door searching for some evidence that someone had been there in my absence. But there was nothing.
“Maybe its okay, Bo.” I didn’t really believe my own words but that didn’t stop me from slipping quietly inside the house without turning on any lights.
The first thing that I did was check each and every room in the place looking for some sign that something wasn’t, as it should. Nothing was out of place.
And then I logged onto my computer did a quick test to make sure it hadn’t been tampered with since I’d been gone and then I couldn’t keep from checking my email. There was nothing but more silence from Noah and no help from The Organization or Matt. I was alone.
I checked my website, where I found dozens of responses mostly from women telling me how much they appreciated the advice I had posted there. For the first time in a long time I felt that I’d bone something positive with my life and with the experience I’d gained while working with The Organization. I spent the rest of the day trying not to think about what lay ahead for me tonight. I lost myself in answering all the responses and dealing with someone else’s problems for once.
By mid afternoon I was stiff from sitting in one position all day so I took Bo and went for a walk.
By evening I was restless and nervous expecting the worse but determined not to fall asleep and find myself vulnerable to Davis again.
By midnight after several pots of coffee that were now working on my stomach, I felt that familiar warning at the base of my spin. I knew Davis was close.
The second Bo started to freak I reached for my weapon.
“So you figured it out.” I heard the resignation in his voice and turned to him. He looked different somehow from the last time I’d seen him in D.C. Less confident and definitely not sure what to expect from me.
“Why are you here, Davis? What do you want from me?”
He took a step closer before spotting the gun. Davis shook his head sadly and I could I almost read his thoughts.
“We’re back to this again Cameron?”
“We never got beyond this Davis because I don‘t trust you,” I told him, coming to a stop close enough to see his surprise. I wasn’t the woman he was expecting to find here. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. “Now, you have exactly ten seconds to tell me what you want before I shoot. And you know that I will, don’t you Davis?”
“Yes,” he said slowly with a mixture of shock and admiration. “Yes, I know you’re very capable. The Organization must miss your talents a lot.”
“Whatever you’re trying to do you can just forget it. The only reason your still standing is because I want some answers from you.”
“And if I chose not to give them?”
“I don’t think you want to make that choice, Davis? Do you?” I saw him smile, he was enjoying our little cat and mouse game. Right before I took him by complete surprise and got an unexpected jump on him. Before Davis really knew what hit him he was laying face down on the floor of my great room with Bo barking madly next to him. I pulled the handcuffs from their hiding place behind my back and had them securely in place. By the time I was finished I expected a slightly different attitude from Davis. But I was to be disappointed.
“Cameron, as much fun as I can imagine this game being between us, don’t you think this is overkill? I mean if I were going to hurt you don’t you think I would have done so before now. You’ve certainly given me enough opportunities.”
That direct reference to all my failures was not the answer or the attitude I was looking for from him. I stuck the gun close to his head with my knees still dug into his back.
“Enough with the smart-ass remarks Davis. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re not in control anymore.” As bad as I hated to admit it, I knew this guy could take me easily enough if he wanted to.
“Dammit, Cameron, that hurt,” he told me trying not to laugh. Davis’s ever so slight, disturbing accent reminded me of the first time I’d spoken to him. I’d been pointing my weapon at him then.
For reasons that I didn’t want to delve too deeply into with me sitting on top of him and Davis sprawled across my great room rug, I did a quick check and found he was carrying two weapons on his person. I tossed them across the room where they landed on my sofa before ordering him to his feet.
We stood facing each other, Davis a good foot taller than me. Those almost ice blue eyes of his going slowly over me as if trying to decide what was different about me. Instinctively I tugged my loose sweatshirt further over my stomach and tried to keep from blushing. I was so screwed up at that moment. I was actually finding myself attracted to Davis. I really had been alone too long.
“So?” he asked and smiled. He knew exactly what I was thinking and that pissed me off to no end.
“So what?” I said trying not to show any emotion.
“So what do we do next? As much fun as I’m finding this little game of yours, I can think of better ways to use the handcuffs.”
Those were not the words I needed to hear from him or any other man right now. Especially not delivered in that soft seductive way. Especially not with those blue eyes doing very bad things to my will power.
“You can forget that Davis. I‘m married.”
“Really, where is he then? Where’s Noah?”
“How do you know his name?” I barely got those words out.
“I know everything about you Cameron. Every little intimate detail. I’ve made you my passion.”
“I still love Noah, Davis--whatever you think. I’ll always love Noah.”
“He’s gone Cameron. I’m not. I’m here. How can you give up the rest of your life, your happiness for a man that can walk away from you so easily?”
“I won’t talk about Noah with you Davis. And I won’t answer any more of your questions. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re really not in the position to be calling the shots here,” I told him somehow bringing my reaction to his familiarity with Noah under control before I stepped close enough for him to see how serious I was. “Now, I want to know how you know Noah?”
“And I want you? So where does that leave us?” he told me without blinking an eye.
I took another step closer, close enough to hear his breath catch at my nearness. I hated that I was just as aware of him as a man. “Cut the crap, Davis,” I told him right before he reached for me, sending the gun in my hands flying across the room. I was caught so off guard that all I could do was try to fight him off as he pulled me close.
“The cuffs were standard police issue. I learned how to get out of them when I was still a rookie.” Davis whispered against my ear and I froze. Who was this guy if he was this trained in all the ways of escaping law enforcement.
But just before I could ask him that, Davis’s hands circled my waist and his eyes met mine. I was that he’d guessed it. What he’d been trying to figure out since he saw me. Davis now knew the truth.
“You’re pregnant?” he asked a little breathless his eyes holding mine. “You’re pregnant,” he said again when I didn’t answer and all I could do was shake my head.
“He doesn’t know does he?” I didn’t need to ask Davis who he meant. I knew he was talking about Noah.
“No, he doesn’t know,” I told him quietly.
“Why Cameron? Why didn’t you tell him?”
At the gen
tling in Davis’s eyes, I lost it. I started to cry before I pulled away from him and he let me.
“I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to be with me because of it.” I said at last.
“You really believe that would be the only reason?” Davis asked right before he tossed the cuffs aside and stood before me waiting silently.
“Yes, I guess I do. I mean he hasn’t tried to contact me since he left.” I bravely met his eyes.
“Maybe it wasn’t possible. The reports, about...” Davis didn’t finish. There was no need. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “You don’t believe they’re real I take it?”
“No, I don’t. I know Noah too well. He’s not dead. He just doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Oh Cameron...” Davis whispered quietly before coming close to me to touch my face. “There are so many things I could say to you. So many things that I want to say to you. If I were truly the person your husband believes me to be I would tell you that I’ve thought of nothing but you since I met you. That I want you more than I ever wanted another before you,” Davis told me and then smiled at my shocked reaction to those words. “If I were truly the person Noah believes. But I’m not.”
“It doesn’t matter what you are Davis. I love Noah. I can’t be with you or anyone else even if I could trust you. That part of my life is over.” I moved away before I let his nearness change my mind. Before I gave into all the forgotten desires inside of me.
“I need to stay with you Cameron,” he told me and I tried to read some meaning into those words beyond what he wanted me to believe was the obvious. “Will you let me stay with you?”
Every instinct inside of me screamed to tell him no. I couldn’t let Davis this close to me. But just as strongly I knew that this was probably the last chance I’d ever have to find out the truth about my parents’ death and Judah’s disappearance.
“Why should I let you? You can’t ask me, out of the blue to let you stay with me without giving me something in return Davis? I want--no I need answers. I have a right to know what you know about my brother, Noah--my parents. You know something, Davis, for God‘s sake tell me.”
“I won‘t talk to you about any of those things Cameron. And I think you know why I’m here. You felt it the same way I did Cameron, even if you can’t accept it. I want to be with you Cameron, I want to protect you. If that means friendship, if that’s all that can ever be between us then I‘ll accept that...at least for the moment.”
“You’re such a liar Davis. You didn’t come here for any of those reasons. Whatever you are apart of its just as strong as what Judah and Noah feel. You wouldn’t let anything, including any woman get in the way of that. And I don’t need protecting. Even if I did, you are the last person I’d turn to for help. I can take care of myself.”
“Can you Cameron? I wonder. You have no idea what you’re up against?”
“I have no ideal because I’m being kept in the dark. If you really want to help me the way you say you do then tell me what you’re talking about?”
“I can’t do that, Cameron. I’m sorry...I know you were hoping, but the answer won‘t come from me.”
“Then why should I let you stay with me when having you here will cause me more trouble than not?” I asked him slowly and saw that smile return. Davis knew I was going to do exactly what he wanted.
“Because you’re lonely. Because what I’ve said to you is true--you know that. Because like it or not Cameron you do feel something.” He added touching my face gently.
“There will never be anything between us Davis. That part is over for me and I won’t talk to you about Noah so you can forget that.”
“I guess I don’t have a choice here, do I?”
“No--you don’t.”
“Then you’ll let me stay with you?”
I’d moved away from Davis the second his voice took on that sincere seductive quality that I was finding almost impossible not to respond to. I needed to remain strong with Davis because frankly I didn’t trust him or his motives. When I forced myself to look at him again I saw the truth in those piercing blue eyes. Davis had been hoping for so much more.
“Davis, that’s the way it has to. Even if we weren’t on opposite sides I just don’t have anything left for anyone anymore. I barely have the strength to love my child and my dog. I feel...dead inside. Noah took my happiness away. I don‘t think I‘ll ever be happy again.”
Again that sad smile that told me just how pitiful he must consider me to be. In those eyes were the wisdom and the pain of someone who had seen the same terrible things in life that I had. We shared that much. I believed that Davis was trying to run away from his past just as much as me. Perhaps that was why he was drawn to me. Maybe it was enough to put aside our differences and be companions to each other.
Davis took a step closer to me stopping a mere breath away.
“Cameron, I don’t believe that you’ll never love again. I just don’t believe it will be me and you have no idea how sad that makes me. Do you have any ideal how hard it is to accept that I was in the right place with you but that I was there at the wrong moment in time? I’ll accept whatever you have to give because you’re right. I am escaping. At least for the moment. I want to forget some of the things I’ve seen and done for a little while. I can do that here with you. And in time you’ll understand why things are the way they are.”
“You’re wrong about that, Davis. I‘ll never understand why you do what you do. But for now it doesn‘t matter. I’ve done some things that for the job that I’m not proud of as well. Let’s just accept that there are some things that we both have that can’t be discussed.”
He didn’t like my answer but he accepted it because I believe Davis needed me almost as much as I needed not to be alone at the moment.
*****
In the time that Davis stayed with me we somehow managed to put aside our past differences and become friends.
I have to admit if I’d never known Noah I would have been overwhelmed by Davis. By everything that I discovered about him that was nothing like the cold heartless killer I believed him to be. Davis was nothing like what I imagined a true terrorist to be and certainly not the enemy I thought I’d been fighting for years.
Each day we spent long hours not talking about the past--or at least the past that we shared but simply talking about our lives before that time. I think I fell in love with Davis just a little bit each day even though I knew my heart would never belong to another. I couldn’t explain what happening between us, but I knew when Davis left me, I would never be the same again.
He’d touched my life. Davis had been there for me when I desperately needed him. He’d held me without asking for anything in return. He was there with me on those sleepless nights when all I could do was cry useless tears for a man that had walked out of my life completely. Davis was more real to me then than any other person in my life. Noah was not.
Slowly over time Bo came to accept that Davis wasn’t going anywhere so he just had better get use to that fact. I guess he figured if his master was okay with it then what the heck. I think that was the final deciding factor for Bo. If Davis had my approval then who was he to judge?
We spend our days together during that strange illusive time of my life, doing simple things. Davis left me alone while I was working but we spent most of the day taking long walks around the property that had now become pretty much a haven to me.
It was on own such walk that I asked Davis about his past before he‘d become what he was. On the numerous times that I‘d tried to find out about his connection to Judah or the Red Jihad, Davis had refused to talk about it with me. But I found that he was filling to talk about the part of his past before the Red Jihad.
“I never knew my father and my mother told me very little about him. She told me he was from a wealthy family here in America. My mother met him while he was visiting Tehran. I share his last name and his looks, but little more.”
“You never trie
d to find him? Did he even know about that he’d fathered a child?” I ask him one afternoon while we sat in our favorite spot, high on a mountain ridge looking down at the world below.
“No, my mother never told him. You see their relationship wasn’t that type. My mother knew where she stood with him from the start. She knew they didn’t have a future.”
“She never married?”
“Eventually after I’d left home. My mother insisted that I have the best education possible. She worked hard and provided all that she could to help me. You see my mother was an educated woman as well. She died a few years ago. I wasn’t able to be there for her when she needed me. I was--on assignment.”
“Oh Davis that had to be so hard for you. But I’m sure she knew how much you loved her. She sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“Yes, she did. She was an amazing woman.” He took my hand and looked at me. “You remind me of her at times.”
“Davis, why won’t you tell me about my brother?” I asked and held my breath.
“I...can’t Cameron. I’m sorry I know there are things you want to know about your brother but I cannot tell you anything. I’m sorry, but I’m not the one to enlighten you about our connection.”
“What do you mean? What connection?”
“I can’t tell you Cameron. I’m sorry. I’ve said too much as it is”
“And my parents. Did you know the two that killed my parents, Davis? Were they part of your group? Is Judah?”
“Cameron, I don’t know who took their lives, but you have to believe me, I wasn’t part of their deaths.”
“Why are you really here, Davis? Don‘t lie to me, surely we’ve gotten too close for lies?”
“I can’t tell you Cameron. But I know you aren’t out of danger. Far from over. I have to protect you.”
“Protect me from what? What do I need protection from? Is it because of The Organization?”