Shadows Amongst Light (The Spy Who Loves Me)

by Eason, Mary

  “I wish so many things, Cameron. I wish that I could stay with you. I wish that I didn’t have to go away. I wish that I were Noah. You know Noah is my best friend. But you’re the only thing I’d never consider destroying that friendship for.”

  “Davis, you don’t have to leave. Stay with us. Please don’t leave. Ben needs you. I need you.”

  He smiled and touched my face. “No, as much as I wish that were true, we both know that it isn’t. You don’t need me, you need me to be Noah. I can’t do that.”

  “Davis that’s not true...”

  “Cameron Alexander, you are an extraordinary woman, but it is true. As much as I wished that it weren’t. There’s not enough room in your world or your heart for me. I’d always come in third. Because you’re going to love Noah for the rest of your life. Then you’re going to love Ben. I can’t be third. No matter how much I love you. I can’t do it.”

  “Will we ever see you again?” I asked accepting the truth of those words. Davis was right. I would never love another man the way that I’d loved Noah. Noah and I were meant to be together long before we understood what that meant.

  “Oh I’ll never be too far away that you can’t find me. I’ll come to you when you want me, or need me because I can’t help myself. But I can’t stay with you. I’ll say goodbye to the boy before I go. Please, don’t worry about anything. Matt will go with you to your new home.”

  “Davis, wait.”

  He turned and saw my fear.

  “You’ll tell me if you hear anything about...”

  “Cameron, you know that I will. Not matter what, I’ll tell you the truth.”

  That night I chose to live my life in the light. I had seen enough darkness and death to last a lifetime. I wanted the light.

  But I wanted Noah to share that light. If only it wasn’t too late for us? I could only pray that it wasn’t too late.

  I didn’t know what I would find in our new home. Whether Noah would be there. Whether he had moved on again. Whether I would only be a bitter reminder of the past, he wanted to forget. I didn’t know.

  EPILOUGE

  Ben and I were relocated to a small farming town in Kansas. The Bureau wanted to put us in a largely populated city but I’d had enough of the big city life to last me a lifetime.

  We were able to take some of our personal things with us, but I was told that the chances of ever returning to the house in Colorado were slim. I hadn’t told my son that.

  Ben and Bo were beginning to adjust to living in the Midwest but me I missed my home in the mountains.

  Slowly Ben stopped asking about Noah as the months drug by but I knew that he still thought about his father all the time.

  We were able to keep our names after all, and I saw that as one bright shining spot of hope. I still held out hope that Noah would come back to us.

  The folks around the community believed me to be a widow, even though no one ever asked. And I never told them differently. It just seemed easier that way.

  Each day, I’d take my son to school and kiss him goodbye. Then I’d go back to our small farmhouse and work on my website while scanning Noah’s old laptop for possible hope.

  It had been five months since we’d been forced to leave our home in Colorado and still there was no word from Noah or from Davis. But I was holding Davis to his promise. I knew he would tell me what happened to Noah not matter how bad the news was.

  And then one day it happened.

  Each afternoon, I walked down to the mailbox before picking up Ben from school.

  Today there was the usual assortment junk and bills. But then, I was stopped dead in my tracks, along that dusty roadside. Bo turned back to look at me as if to ask, what on earth was I doing?

  There amongst the usual mail, I found a postcard from that small village outside of Anchorage. There was no name. Just a few simple words.

  ‘The sun never sets here. There is no more darkness and no more danger. I miss you both. Come soon.’

  The minute I read those words, I knew they were from Noah. He was okay. And I was going to him.

  I found myself literally smiling as I ran the distance to the house. Inside, I started packing. I’d need to find our warmest coats. There might not be darkness in Alaska but there were mountains and cold. And I’d missed the cold.

  I didn’t know what lay ahead for Noah and me. But I knew that he was alive and that he wanted us with him. I could only pray that this time it meant forever. No more secrets, no more shadows. No more past.

  I prayed that this time, The Organization had set us free of its entanglements. That we could live our lives out together. Simply as husband and wife, mother and father.

  That we would be free at last of the shadows that had clouded our happiness for so long. That we could be just another part of the light.

  *****

  No one leaves The Organization. It just doesn’t happen. But sometimes, if you’re really lucky, The Organization lets you go.

  And sometimes not...

  THE END

  About the author

  Mary Eason grew up in a small Texas town famous for, well not much of anything really. Being the baby of the family and quite a bit younger than her brothers and sister, Mary had plenty of time to entertain herself. Making up stories seem to come natural to her.

  As a pre-teen, Mary discovered romance novels and knew instinctively that was what she wanted to do with her over-active imagination.

  Today, Mary still lives in Texas, and still writes about romance. In fact, she can’t think of anything else she’d rather do.