Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe

by Heather Webber

  Ollie’s hand wiggled out of the quilt and snatched the roll away from Natalie as she said, “I think that’s a great idea. Give yourself some time.”

  “No,” Doc said. “Absolutely not. Don’t you two go planting ideas in Anna Kate’s head just because you don’t want her to leave town. If she defers, she’ll never end up going. She’ll get too comfortable here, and that will be that.”

  Seelie leveled him with an icy stare. “It’s not our decision to make. It’s Anna Kate’s. It’s clear she’s unsure about selling the café. Giving her options takes away some of the pressure.”

  “She’s made her decision already,” he said. “Is she not starting classes in August?”

  “That was before,” Seelie said, her teeth clenched, “Anna Kate had other choices.”

  His chin jutted as his face paled. “The only choice she has is medical school. The sooner the better, so she can take over my practice sooner rather than later.”

  “Hold up now,” I said, freezing. “Who said anything about your practice? I don’t want it.”

  “It was supposed to be AJ’s, which means it’s supposed to be yours,” he said.

  Suddenly feeling sick, I clenched the napkin in my lap, twisting and turning it. Had I been blind to his true intentions all along? “Your speech about wanting to get to know your granddaughter … about moving forward. It wasn’t about me at all, was it? It was always about you. What you want.” I knew he’d been manipulating me, I simply hadn’t realized the extent.

  “Succotash!” Natalie yelled. “Succotash!”

  “What on earth?” Seelie said, eyeing her.

  Natalie reached for the diaper bag. “We should go, Anna Kate.”

  Doc’s voice turned to stone. “Eden wanted you to follow in your daddy’s footsteps—you said so yourself. His footsteps lead to me. My practice.”

  “Lord have mercy,” Natalie whispered.

  “Mercy,” Ollie echoed from under her blankie.

  My chest heaved with anger. “His footsteps, yes. My shoes. It would be nice at some point if someone actually cared what I wanted. You once asked me if I had regrets, and I told you I did. One. It was the day I promised my mother I’d become a doctor because I knew it was what she wanted and would make her happy. I made the promise. It’s done. I’ll see it through, but that’s the end of it. The rest of the decisions are mine.”

  “You know how I feel about regrets.” He shoved to his feet.

  His words from the day I met him came back to me.

  I’ve decided regret is like cancer. It eats you from the inside out, just the same.

  The haze of my anger evaporated instantly. Had he told me straight from the get-go what was wrong with him? Did he have cancer?

  Oh my God.

  “I need some fresh air,” Doc said. “We can continue this conversation later.”

  “Daddy?” Natalie said. “Are you all right?”

  “James?” Seelie jumped up.

  I saw Doc sway, and grabbed hold of him just as he collapsed.

  Natalie

  “He lied to me.” I thought my heart might break clear open. “It was a lie of omission, but that’s still a lie. I asked him flat-out if he was feeling well, and he evaded the question.”

  “I don’t think he wanted to worry you,” Anna Kate said, her eyes bloodshot.

  “But it’s a lie just the same, isn’t it? Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

  Anna Kate reached out to hold my hand, and at the same time Cam’s voice, once again, came unbidden into my thoughts.

  Sometimes people lie to protect the ones they love.

  Anna Kate and I sat side by side in the hospital waiting room. Faylene Wiggins, bless that woman, had come by to collect Ollie. She was taking her to Marcy’s house to play with Lindy-Lou until I could pick her up.

  We’d been here a few hours now, and we were waiting on Daddy to be discharged against medical advice. He insisted there was nothing the hospital could do for him that couldn’t be done at home, and there was nothing anyone could do or say to talk him out of it.

  He was being sent home with information on hospice care.

  Cancer.

  Daddy had cancer. It was eating up his pancreas, affecting his liver function, and had spread to his lungs and his stomach.

  He’d known for nearly six months now and hadn’t said a word. Not a single damned word. There were no treatment options left. No cure.

  He had a few months left, at best. If we were lucky.

  My head swam, and it felt like the brightly colored walls were closing in on me. Every inch of my body ached, and I desperately wanted to go home and try to pretend this was all one big nightmare that I’d wake up from any minute now.

  “I knew he was ill,” Anna Kate said, her voice raw. “But I didn’t know how sick he was.”

  My head was so fogged with emotion that it took me a minute to fully comprehend what Anna Kate had said. I shifted to face her. “You knew he was sick? How did you know?”

  “I saw it,” she said. “The color of his skin, the yellowing in his eyes … He told me he was seeing doctors.”

  As if I’d been burned, I dropped Anna Kate’s hand. “How long have you known?”

  Anna Kate winced. “Since the first time he came to the café.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Or Mama? How could you keep something so serious to yourself?” I said, my voice sharp.

  I sounded like my mother. The old one. I didn’t even care.

  Hurt flashed in Anna Kate’s green eyes. “I didn’t know how serious it was. And at first it was none of my business, and then he asked me not to tell. I made a promise.”

  “Some promises are meant to be broken, Anna Kate. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

  “He promised me he’d tell you.”

  “Well, he didn’t, did he? You should have, Anna Kate. You should have.”

  Lies, lies, everywhere.

  Your father is dying. The voice suddenly rang in my head, and my stomach rolled.

  I had known—someone had told me.

  I just hadn’t paid enough attention.

  Why hadn’t I paid enough attention?

  Acid rose up my throat. I was going to throw up right there in the waiting room if I didn’t get out of here. I jumped to my feet and ran. I headed toward the EXIT sign, thinking fresh air could only help.

  But as soon as I stepped outside and sucked in a deep breath I knew nothing was going to help. The tears came hot and fast, and the more I tried to hold them in the harder they fell.

  My father was dying.

  23

  The reporter was a virtual stranger in this town, yet even he’d heard of Dr. Linden’s diagnosis. It was a popular topic of conversation among the diners.

  “Dr. Linden, thanks for taking the time to speak with me.”

  “Please, call me Doc.” He wrapped his hands around a takeout coffee cup. “I’m not sure I can offer any information for your article. While I know of the blackbirds, I’ve never had anything to do with them.”

  “Nothing at all comes to mind?”

  Doc stared at the cup’s plastic lid. “All I know for certain is that the blackbirds were here long before I was, and they’ll be here long after I’m gone.”

  Anna Kate

  “Where’s Mr. Lazenby?”

  I bolted upright in bed, and rubbed sleep out of my eyes as I looked around. I could have sworn I’d heard someone with a feminine voice asking me where Mr. Lazenby was. No one was around, but the window was open, and I saw the outline of the phoebe against the screen, fluffing her feathers on the windowsill in the morning light. Her crooked wing was a sure sign she was the bird that had been hanging around the café, but she didn’t appear to be trying to get inside.

  Which was just as well, because I didn’t want to chase her around the apartment.

  I lay back down. It was entirely possible I’d dreamed the voice, since I’d been thinking of Mr. Lazenby before I fell asleep
. It had been five days since I’d last seen him, when he went home in a snit the day Pebbles didn’t show up for breakfast.

  I rolled onto my side and punched the pillow into a comfortable position. Usually this time of the morning I’d be dragging myself into the shower, but all I wanted to do was pull my quilt over my head and sleep the day away.

  I stared at the walls, watching the morning light shift around. I could tell I’d been crying in my sleep. Hearing that Doc only had a few months left to live opened a gaping hole in my heart.

  It had been three days since learning of his diagnosis. He was at home, resting, with Seelie keeping close watch over him. Natalie hadn’t been in to work, either, missing two shifts.

  She was angry. So angry. What she didn’t understand was that Doc had lied not only to her, but to me as well. To all of us.

  However, it was easier to be mad at me than him.

  The expression on Natalie’s face when she found out I knew Doc had been ill had haunted my dreams. The scathing look of utter betrayal. It caused an ache deep in my bones and made me question why I’d kept quiet.

  But I knew why. I made a promise.

  Some promises are meant to be broken, Anna Kate.

  Natalie’s words cut like a knife, because I couldn’t stop thinking that she was right. I’d made a bad decision, and I added it to my list of regrets, which had grown rapidly in these past few days.

  I regretted not telling Natalie about Doc’s health, and I deeply regretted coming to Wicklow altogether.

  My mother had warned me to stay away, and I should have taken that caution to heart. If so, I’d still be in Massachusetts, happily oblivious to this charming little town.

  Oblivious, anyway.

  Because truthfully, I hadn’t been happy up north. It wasn’t until I’d come here that I found true happiness. I’d fallen in love with the café and Zee’s garden and my neighbors.

  My God, the neighbors.

  Faylene, Summer, Jena, Bow, Gideon …

  Flipping over, I punched the pillow again.

  I sang the “Sing a Song of Sixpence” in my head and tried to fall back to sleep, but my brain wasn’t having it. I tossed aside my dad’s quilt.

  It was time to get up. Get dressed. Get on with the day. I had a lot to do.

  A day that now included checking in on Mr. Lazenby.

  * * *

  It was late morning when I left the café under the very capable control of Bow and Jena and headed across town. After checking in on Mr. Lazenby, I wanted to visit with Doc. I hoped I’d have a chance to talk with Natalie, as well. I didn’t like the way things were between us right now, and I needed to fix it. Somehow. Some way.

  On a narrow residential road, I found the house I was looking for. It was easy to see that the blue clapboard bungalow had been well taken care of over the years. The paint was fresh and bright, the lawn freshly mowed, and the flowers along the walkway full of blooms.

  I walked under a wooden arbor and headed toward the front door to ring the bell. I heard it buzz inside the house.

  “Go away,” Mr. Lazenby said through the door.

  “It’s me, Anna Kate.”

  “Go on with you. Go away.”

  “I brought you some food from the café. Scrambled eggs, sweet potato hash, bacon…” The door cracked open, and I smiled as he scowled out at me. “Since Pebbles has been sick, I wanted to make sure you weren’t ill too. I’ve missed you these last few days.”

  “Pebbles is sick?” he asked, reaching for the takeout box in my hands. “How sick?”

  He might’ve opened the door, but it was clear he wasn’t inviting me inside. “It’s a virus of some sort. Fever, cough. Started up last week, according to Faylene. A little rest and she should be okay.”

  He scratched the white stubble on his chin. “Might could be why she missed breakfast last Friday.”

  It was interesting to me that her absence was still on his mind. “It’s likely,” I said. “She hasn’t been around this week, either.”

  “I should probably check on her,” he said, the wrinkles around his eyes multiplying as he frowned. “You think she’d mind?”

  I tried not to smile. “No, I don’t think she would.”

  He gave me a nod, and said, “We’ll see. Thank you for the food, Miss Anna Kate.” He closed the door.

  I noticed he didn’t ask if there was pie in the box. It seemed his priorities had shifted.

  The blind old fool was finally seeing the light.

  It was a quick walk over to Doc and Seelie’s. She smiled when she saw me at the door. “I’m going to have to sedate the man to keep him in bed,” she said by way of a hello.

  She put an arm around me in an awkward embrace—she still wasn’t comfortable showing me affection, which was just as well because I didn’t know how I’d receive it. We were feeling our way through our relationship, one uncomfortable hug at a time.

  “He wants to go golfing.” Seelie looked like she hadn’t slept well. Her eyes were shot with red, and shadows lurked beneath them. “Lord have mercy on my soul. Natalie and Ollie are upstairs with him now, trying to get him to eat something.”

  The foyer was filled with flowers, bouquets and arrangements of every shape and size. “I see word’s gotten out.”

  “I have a dozen casseroles sitting in my freezer and at least that many loaves of cinnamon bread. The bread brigade is in top form.”

  I nearly laughed out loud at the term. It fit so well.

  “Of course James doesn’t want any of it. Maybe you could make him something? I bet he’d eat that, even if it’s only so your feelings don’t get hurt. I’m not above using trickery, Anna Kate.”

  “I’ll bring something by later.” And maybe an herbal tea as well. At this point it couldn’t hurt. “How’s Natalie today?”

  “She’s been good with James, but with me she’s been quick-tempered and snappy. She’s hurting.”

  I nodded, thinking we all were.

  “Go on up. I must find some room in the freezer for a couple more casseroles, then I’ll join you.”

  A carpet runner covered the wooden stairs, muffling my footsteps as I climbed. On the landing, I heard Ollie making vrooming noises from down the hall, then Doc saying, “So help me, Natalie Jane, you’re not too old to have a knot jerked in your tail.”

  “It’d be worth it if you’d eat something,” she said. “Come on, it’s your favorite.”

  I peeked into the room and saw Ollie driving her tractor along the footboard of a four-poster bed. Natalie sat in a chair, bedside, holding a plate of red beans and rice.

  Doc, propped up in bed, spotted me and said, “Don’t tell me you brought food too. If so, turn yourself around and come back without it.”

  “No food,” I said, holding up empty hands. “Just me.”

  “Hihi! Annkay!” Ollie had learned how to wave properly, and I missed the way her whole arm used to flap.

  “Hi, Ollie,” I said, waving back.

  Natalie set the plate on the nightstand and stood up. “Come on, Ollie. It’s time to go.”

  “You don’t have to leave,” I said, aching at the detached look in her eyes.

  “Natalie? You’re leaving?” Seelie asked as she came into the room and stood next to me. “But you barely just got here.”

  Natalie picked up Ollie. “We’ll be back later.” She surged past us and out the doorway.

  “I’ll be right back,” Seelie said tightly and strode out as well.

  I sat in the seat Natalie had vacated and tried to think of something to say.

  “She’s angry,” Doc said.

  “I know.”

  “She’s mad at me and taking it out on both of you.”

  “I know.”

  He laughed. “She’ll come around.”

  I wasn’t so sure. “You know, you really should eat something. You need nutrients.”

  “Months ago, when I declined the recommendation to undergo chemo and radiation, it wasn’t a r
ash decision. It was because I didn’t want to spend my last days going to and from the hospital, sick as a dog from the medicine that was trying to make me better. I want to live, Anna Kate. I do not want to be laid up in bed, being waited on hand and foot, being force-fed. So please knock it off.”

  I jabbed a finger at him. “Well, we want you around as long as possible. You’ve had months to deal with your diagnosis, but we’re in shock, so let us fuss a few days. But what’s going to happen if you don’t eat? Or drink enough fluids? Stop being so stubborn trying to prove to us that you’re doing fine. Because you’re not.”

  With a heavy sigh, he said, “Fine. Hand me that plate. No need to get all fired up.”

  “I don’t know about that. Seems to have gotten the job done.”

  I handed him the plate, and he picked at the food. “I behaved horribly on Sunday. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop that,” I said. “It’s in the past and we’re focusing on the future, remember?”

  “I remember, but I think I’ve been a little too focused. I’ve been getting my affairs in order these past few months, and it hurt to think of having to sell my practice, my legacy, to a stranger. When you showed up, and I heard you were planning to be a physician…” He set the plate aside and adjusted his blanket. “I got ahead of myself. It wasn’t right of me, and it certainly wasn’t fair.”

  I rubbed a finger on the chair’s upholstery. “I’ve been thinking that maybe being a family doctor and carrying on your legacy might not be so bad.”

  His brown eyes shone with compassion. “I haven’t been getting much sleep, and in those dark, quiet hours when it was just me and my thoughts, I came to realize that I’d been wrong. My practice isn’t my legacy at all. It’s only a place. A thing. Work. My legacy, who I am, the person I am, is my family. Long after I’m gone, I will live in you, in Natalie and Ollie, and Seelie. All of you will always be in my heart, and part of me will always be in yours. That’s a damn good legacy, if you ask me. Don’t you agree?”

  Family.

  I squeezed his hand and blinked away tears. “I agree, Doc. I agree.”