by D. R. Graham
“This steak is so tender I barely need to chew.” I look at Leland and ask, “How’s the lobster?”
“Pretty good.” He hands me another glass of champagne. “Are you having an okay time?”
I smile, hesitant to admit it. “Yes. I like being your girlfriend.”
He leans over and kisses my neck. His mom walks by our table and seems less than impressed, so I push Leland away. After dessert, I work the room with him. The older ladies gush about how adorable we are together. The younger girls, although they seem envious, respect me. Being with Leland is definitely a status thing in this crowd. I’m hoping Mrs. Crofton notices that everyone else is being nice to me.
“Leland.” A heavy, balding man in a tuxedo slaps him on the back. “Who’s this pretty little lady?”
“Tienne, this is Mark Fleming. He’s Crofton Construction’s marketing manager.”
Mark smiles and glances down at my chest. “Nice to meet you.”
“Excuse me for a minute,” Leland says. “I need to use the men’s room. I’ll be right back.”
Mark toasts his glass and watches Leland walk away, then hones in on me. “You should definitely come down to my place in Cabo next month. You look like you would be fun to party with.”
“Do I?” What an asshole. “Did you miss the part about me being with Leland?”
He chuckles with contempt. “Little boss-boy doesn’t have a place in Cabo.” His gaze wanders creepily over my body. “And he won’t keep a girl like you around for long.”
So much for fitting in. A heat builds in my body that is equally fueled by embarrassment and rage. I shake my head and eye all the other people in the room. Out of every woman here, this piece of shit decides that I’m the easiest one. I was obviously kidding myself when I thought I was starting to blend, or that they were staring out of envy. “You want to know something interesting, Mark?”
He lifts his eyebrows eagerly and checks out my cleavage again.
“I was talking to your wife, Alice, earlier and it came up that I’m the same age as your daughter.” I wrinkle my nose in an overly cutesy way. “Isn’t that a coincidence?”
He backs off a step and sips his drink. At least his eyes are above my collarbone. “You don’t look that young.”
“Maybe not, but you do look exactly like all my friends’ pervert dads.”
Leland returns. Mark glances at him, not even trying to hide his disdain, then turns and walks over to the bar.
“Hey, are you okay?” Leland ask me.
“Can we go?”
He looks over in Mark’s direction, confused, then back at me. “Yeah, sure.”
When Leland is placing my coat over my shoulders, his mom smiles, then walks away. Does that mean I did okay or she’s just glad to see me leave?
Once we are in the car Leland says, “You did a great job tonight. But what happened with Mark?”
No point trying to pretend it didn’t happen. It’s going to keep happening. He might as well know why I wanted to leave and why I don’t want to go to anything like that ever again. “He asked me to go to Cabo with him. He said I looked like a girl who likes to party, and that you wouldn’t keep a girl like me around for long.”
The tendons in his neck tighten. “He’s fired.”
“No. That’s not my point. I don’t care that he’s sleazy. I care that he could tell that I don’t belong there. Obviously who I really am is not good enough and, even when I’m acting, people can see through it to the truth.”
“Tienne, he’s just a creep.” His foot presses heavily on the accelerator and his knuckles turn white on the steering wheel. “I’m sure he says things like that to girls whose dads own oil companies and airlines too.”
“He thought I was cheap and easy.”
“No he didn’t. He targeted you because he’s still bitter that my dad promoted me over him. He hoped you were easy so he could get back at me.” We stop at a red light. He reaches over and lifts my chin with his finger until I’m facing him. “You are definitely not easy.”
I smile because that’s an understatement in his case, but it doesn’t make me feel better. “Why would you keep a girl like me around?”
“Because you’re beautiful and smart and so cool. The fact that you are also insanely sexy is just the icing on the cake. I’d like to keep you around for as long as possible, and I don’t want you to be anything other than who you are.”
That causes a flutter in my stomach. I have to admit he does have a charming way of saying the right things to make me feel better about myself. And when I feel confident, I really want to be a part of his world. “So, you’re saying you like me?” I remove my shoes as the light turns green.
“Yeah.” His hand rests on my knee.
“What do you like the most?”
His laugh is sexy as his palm slides up my thigh. “Probably the fact that you could kick my ass if you wanted to.”
“Would you really fire him?”
“Yeah.”
“Because you’re the boss?”
“Yeah.” He grins, then shoots me a sideways glance. “Do you like that?”
“Yeah, it’s sexy.”
He chuckles. “So, can we take this relationship to the next level yet?”
Um. Yes? I think so? I want to. I’m terrified to.
He senses the shift in my mood and gives me some space. We drive the rest of the way to Elizabeth and Blaine’s in silence. He parks next to the curb and turns the engine off. I wring my hands for a long time before making eye contact with him. “Can you promise that you won’t ever lie to me?”
After a hesitation he says, “Tienne, I promise.”
“And promise that you will be there for me when it really matters.”
“I will.” His phone rings and he moves abruptly to get to it. It’s in his jacket, which is in the back seat. “Sorry.” He pulls it out of his inside breast pocket and turns it off. Then he reaches in the back pocket of his pants. He produces a different phone and turns it off too. I watch him as he puts the phone back in his pocket. He turns to face me and reaches his arm over to try to hold my hand, but I cross my arms. He glances at my face then rubs his palms on his thighs. “Sorry. I forgot to turn them off.”
“You have two phones?”
“Yeah, for work.” He avoids making eye contact with me and runs his hand through his hair. My head is telling me I’m paranoid. My gut is telling me that I know exactly what’s going on.
I didn’t spend eighteen years in an outlaw family and not learn a thing or two about liars and criminals. Maybe I don’t know which fork to use at a fancy dinner, but I know this, and my decision is easy. “We’re over,” I say and reach for the door handle. “Don’t call me.”
“What? Why?” He grabs my wrist to prevent me from getting out of the car.
“You know why.”
“Because I forgot to turn my phone off?”
How dare he act all innocent? “I’m not stupid. I know what kind of person needs two phones for work.”
“Lots of people have work phones.”
“I’ve seen you take Crofton Construction work calls on the phone I call you on. What type of work do you do from the other phone?”
His eyes remain locked on mine, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows he’s busted.
“How long have you been dealing?” I demand.
He releases my wrist and rubs his temples as if he has a headache. “I did it for a few years. I only sold to my friends, and the guy who grows it is someone I went to school with, but I quit.”
Really? You think I’m stupid? “Why do you still have two phones if you quit?”
“I don’t. There have been a few things that I needed to take care of to leave it completely in the past.”
Exactly. It never goes away. You can try to walk away from it, but it follows you wherever you go. “Do you still use?”
“No.”
He sounds genuine, but it doesn’t really make a difference. My
dad never used either, and it still killed him. “Why would you sell drugs? It’s not like you need the money.”
Beads of sweat have formed at his temples and his knee is bouncing. “It wasn’t for the money. I was basically just the middleman who brought supply and demand together.”
“Yeah, that’s what my dad did for a living, too. He got a bullet in the head for being the middleman.” I open the door and get out.
“Tienne.”
“Do I have a big fucking sign on my back that says if you’re a douchebag who does illegal things for a living I’ll fall for you? I don’t want that shit in my life anymore.” I slam the door and run up the path. He catches up to me as I reach the porch. I yank my arm out of his grasp. “I was really hoping I would meet a nice guy who wasn’t messed up in illegal stuff. I wanted a fresh start to live a life that was different from the one I was already living. I don’t want to judge you, because obviously I’ve also done things in my past that I’m not very proud of. I just don’t want to repeat the same old patterns and end up back where I started. I want to be proud of who I am for once. Having a druggie boyfriend is not something I would be proud of. Plus, you lied about it.”
“I quit, Tienne. You’re not the only one who has a U-Haul of shit that needs to be left in the past. I want to be proud of myself again, too.”
He means it. I can tell by the conviction in his voice. I just don’t know if I want to be a part of it. I sigh and blink back tears.
He steps forward and hugs me. “There was nothing to lie about because there was nothing to tell you. I quit. I swear to God.”
I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m overreacting. It’s only pot. Right? He quit. He has given me the benefit of the doubt and overlooked all my flaws. It would only be fair if I did the same in return. I guess in some ways the fact that he’s made mistakes puts us on a more level field. Eventually, I sink in to the hug and his arms tighten around me.
“I quit,” he whispers as he cups my chin and lifts my face so I’ll look at him. We stand that way for a long time and he can obviously tell that I’m softening because he moves in to touch his lips to mine. Cooper walks up the sidewalk and slows, looking wary and protective at the same time. “Is everything okay?”
Leland steps back and squeezes my hand. “Are we okay?”
Cooper glances back and forth between us before positioning himself next to me in solidarity, even though he doesn’t know what the issue is.
“You swear you quit?” I ask Leland.
“I swear.” He holds my gaze as he says it.
It would be completely hypocritical of me to not give him the chance to leave his old life in the past and start fresh. I’m not perfect, he’s not perfect, and we both want to leave our shit behind us. That’s something he and I have in common, the one thing that Aiden and I never did. “All right. We’re good as long as you’re telling the truth. If I find out you’re lying, I’m gone.”
Relieved, he kisses me on the cheek, then walks back toward the car.
Cooper steps up onto the stair next to me and drapes his arm over my shoulder as we watch Leland leave. “What was that all about?”
“Hopefully nothing.”
Before I go inside, I look both ways down the street, and realize I’m searching for a motorcycle that isn’t there.
Chapter Seventeen
Leland had to go out of town for his postponed business trip, so tonight I’m having a girls’ night with Cara, Reese, and Haley. The plan is to go out for dinner and bowling with some friends of the college guy Reese is dating. I dress in jeans and a cute low-cut empire waist blouse and pull my hair back in a high ponytail. I look young, but I don’t care.
When I walk past Cooper’s room, I notice that he’s curled up on his bed in the dark. I push the door more open and tiptoe in to touch his forehead with the back of my hand. He stirs and looks up at me. “Are you sick, Lucky Boy?”
“No.”
I sit on the edge of his mattress and rub his back. “What’s wrong?”
“Sam and I had a stupid fight.”
“Over what?”
“We went to a party last night and there was a guy who was being nice to me. Sam started acting like a dick. I told him he had nothing to worry about, but he got all insecure and jealous. I didn’t want to be around the drama, so I left, and he hasn’t called me since.”
“Have you called him?”
“No. He’s the one who needs to apologize.”
“Aw. Your first lovers’ spat. It’s so cute.”
“Yeah, adorable,” he moans, then rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. “Is this how you felt every time you fought with Gylly?”
“Yeah, and we fought a lot. Does Sam have anything to worry about?”
Cooper glances at me, then closes his eyes as if maybe there is a valid reason for Sam’s jealousy. “No. I mean, I don’t know. I’m sixteen. I want to be able to meet people and talk to them at least.”
“Do you want your relationship with Sam to end?”
“No.”
“Okay, here’s what you do—text him to tell him you miss him and then wait. He will either text you back or come over. If he doesn’t do anything, he’s not worth getting upset over.”
“Okay, thanks.”
I brush back his hair and offer, “Do you want me to stay home?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Leland left his car here when I drove him to the airport. If you decide to go by Sam’s I’m sure he won’t mind if you borrow it. The keys are on the kitchen counter.” I kiss his cheek and stand to leave.
“Hey, Ti. How do you know if you’re in love?” He sits up and watches me intently, waiting for me to enlighten him.
“If you have to ask then you aren’t.”
“What does it feel like?”
I’m not the best person to sell him on the benefits of love, since loving someone as much as I love Aiden and having it not work out is not a pain I would wish on anyone, especially not Cooper. “When you love someone it feels like their blood runs through your veins, their breath fills your lungs, their heart makes yours beat, and without them everything stops.”
“Fuck. That sounds tragic.”
Tell me about it. “It is.” I bend to kiss him again, this time on the forehead. “But it’s worth it. Call if you need me,” I say before I leave.
As I walk out to the Mercedes, I open the picture of Aiden that’s on my phone. The way he is smiling at me in the photo is love and, yes, it is tragic.
By the time I arrive at Cara’s house, she has already made a jug of margaritas for us, but she’s drinking club soda and cranberry since she’s going to drive. She hands me a strong margarita and asks, “How are things going with Leland?”
I chug the drink. “Um, good.”
“Have you slept together yet?”
“We, um—” I hold my glass out and Reese tops me up. “We’re taking it slow in that department.”
“Why? Aren’t you into him?”
Wow. I didn’t realize girls’ night was code for put Tienne on the spot. “I am. He’s cute and he’s good for me. I just don’t want to rush into anything.”
“He must really like you if he has hung around this long without getting any action,” Haley says.
Cara leans her elbows on the counter next to me. “He won’t wait forever.”
Reese laughs in a you-got-that-right way. “You don’t need to wait to be in love—you know that, right?”
That’s good, since I can’t imagine myself loving anyone other than Aiden. It would be pretty shitty if love was a non-negotiable prerequisite and I never got to have sex again. “I’m not waiting for, uh, that. I don’t know. Who knows what love is anyway?”
“Do you see yourself with him in the long-term?” Cara asks.
I spin my glass around on the table and watch the slushy drink swirl up until it nearly spills over the rim. “He’s a good catch, right?”
They all nod and focus on m
e, waiting for an answer to Cara’s question.
I shrug, then down the rest of the margarita. The hot seat has become unbearably uncomfortable and, if the liquor kicks in, the topic of Leland is going to take a sharp detour and become about Aiden. We need a change of scenery, quick, before my resolve to keep my mouth shut falters. “Let’s go.”
When we arrive at the restaurant, the college guys we’re meeting are already sitting at a booth. Reese slides in next to a guy who is built lean like a soccer player. He has straight blond hair and a slightly crooked nose that makes him look sexy. Haley sits beside a bulkier, body builder-type guy who has skin that reminds me of milk chocolate. Cara and I sit beside each other next to two other guys. One is handsome like a model, and his arrogant attitude confirms he knows it. The other guy is a little bit chubby with a farm boy wholesomeness and his cheeks turn rosy when we are introduced. His name is Paul and I like him instantly.
My phone buzzes with a text. It’s from Leland: I miss you. Are you having fun with the girls?
“Boyfriend?” Paul asks me.
“Sort of.” I put my phone away. “How about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Yeah, she’s back in my hometown.”
“What’s her name?”
“Jill.”
“No shit?” I chuckle. “My boyfriend’s name is Gylly,” I say without even thinking. Shit. Cara is listening to Reese tell a story, but I can tell from her quick, confused glance that she heard me. I don’t even bother to fix the mistake. If she asks, I’ll tell her that I’m drunk. I am drunk, which is why I said it. I better not talk or text for the rest of the night. The drinks Paul ordered arrive and I pound mine back before the waitress clues in that she should ask me for some ID.
After we eat, we stumble across the street to a bowling alley. Bowling drunk is a gong show. It’s fun, but the family in the lane next to us might be wishing we weren’t here. My ball lands in their gutter, so I apologize, then sit down and lean on Cara. “I should go for it with Leland, right?”
“Yes. You would be crazy not to.”