by D. R. Graham
“I’m sorry, Tienne,” Cara sputters out.
I hug her and look over her shoulder at Aiden. I can tell he thinks that’s probably what happened. Part of me wants to believe it was a freak accident, but Cooper wouldn’t have taken pills, especially if he didn’t know what they were. “It’s not your fault, Cara. I’m sure if he fell, it was just an accident.”
“They’ll find out if he had drugs in his system when the autopsy results come back,” Sam says. “Should we tell the police that this might be what happened?”
“No,” I say and stand up. “I don’t see the point in getting Cara in trouble. Even if he took a pill that made him high and then fell, it was an accident. I don’t think that’s what happened, though.”
“Why?”
“Because I know Cooper.” I hug Sam and whisper in his ear, “He cared about you a lot. Thanks for making him happy.” He starts to cry. I turn to Cara and say, “Stop dealing immediately.”
She nods, wiping her face. “I already did.”
“Whether it turns out that he had drugs in his system or not, it wasn’t your fault. Thanks for being honest.” I walk across the room and Aiden drapes his arm across my shoulder.
Neither one of them says anything before we leave because they’re both crying.
“It’s probably what happened,” Aiden says as we step out their front door.
“Maybe.” He heads for the bike, but I stop and pull out my phone. “I have to make a quick call. Give me a second.” Aiden frowns, but gives me some space, and I dial Leland’s number.
When he answers, he doesn’t say anything, but I can hear him breathing.
“I just had a chat with Cara,” I say with a bitterness that sounds harsh even for me. “It was nice of you to give her a job since she needs the money for college.”
He matches my tone and fires back, “I stopped dealing. That’s what you wanted.”
“I didn’t mean that you should get one of my friends to take over for you.”
“Can we talk about this when I get back?” His tone has deflated as if he’s too exhausted to fight.
“No. We’re talking about this now. Why didn’t you tell me about Braden?”
After a pause he exhales slowly. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I get my trust fund when I turn twenty-five. If my parents find out about Braden before then, they’ll disown me and cut me off.”
“Why aren’t you here right now? Tell me the truth.”
“It’s complicated, Tienne.”
“Complicated as in you’ve got problems with your international drug trafficking business?”
He lowers his voice to a whisper, “Leaving my past behind hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be.”
Even though I already knew that, something about how he said it makes all of the pieces fall together. The link that Randy has been searching for was right in front of my eyes the entire time. A new storm slams through my body. I crouch and cover my mouth with my trembling palm.
After several attempts, I suck in enough air to ask, “Do you know what happened to Cooper?”
He’s silent for a while before his breath catches and his voice cracks. “I’m so sorry.”
I stand and scream into the phone. “Fuck you, Leland! He was just an innocent kid. He didn’t do anything to deserve that.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he shouts back. He’s crying, which makes me tear up, too. “If I could trade places with him, I would. I know how much he meant to you and it’s killing me that I can’t make it better.”
Aiden stands in front of me and, based on how tense he is, I assume he put the pieces together as well.
“Why Cooper?” I ask Leland.
“They made a mistake. I told them I quit and they didn’t exactly accept my resignation. I was the target and some guy thought Cooper was me because he was driving my car. Cooper was just in the wrong car at the wrong time.”
I turn away from Aiden so I won’t be distracted by his protective rage. I walk down the sidewalk furious and fighting back nausea. “Why did you pursue me?”
“What?”
“Why me? Why did you ask me out?”
“Because I like you.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me. You work for the gang that murdered my father. It wasn’t a coincidence, was it?”
He’s silent for a while then he says, “I didn’t know who you were when I met you.”
“But once you did?”
“When they found out we were dating they asked me to get information about Noir et Bleu business. I told them I wouldn’t do it.”
I shake my head, though he can’t see it, and tears roll down my cheeks.
“I didn’t do it. I quit. I swear to God.” He breathes out tension. “They came after me and got Cooper by accident. I’m so sorry.”
“Who did it?” I shout.
“I’m going to deal with it.”
I nearly laugh. What does he think he’s going to do about it? Even if I thought he could or would, I don’t trust him to do it. “Braden needs you. I’ll take care of it myself. Tell me the name of the person responsible.”
“You can’t take care of it. He’s super connected.”
Now I do laugh out loud. “So am I. Did you forget?”
“You shouldn’t mess with this guy.”
Wow. That almost sounded convincing. If I didn’t know better, I might actually believe that he was concerned for my well-being. “He shouldn’t have messed with me, and you shouldn’t have either.”
“He will kill you and me and everyone we care about.”
“He won’t be able to.” I glance at Aiden, who is close enough to hear everything and appears ready to do whatever it takes if I say the word. “Tell me who did it or I’ll call your parents and let them know about Braden.”
He doesn’t respond, but I can hear his breath quicken. I struck the chink in his armor. I know because the only thing that would have stopped my dad short is if anyone ever brought up his kids in relation to business.
“Tell me his fucking name.”
“Johnny Lee.”
I hang up and, in a bizarre, rage-filled calm, I walk over to the bike to put on my helmet. Aiden shoots me a warning glare and says, “Don’t even think about it.”
“What?” I avoid eye contact and channel the fury into coming up with a foolproof revenge plot.
“I can tell what you’re planning by the expression on your face. You’re not allowed to get involved.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” My voice sounds like it doesn’t belong to me. It sounds like my dad.
“Ti, it’s too dangerous. Let the police handle it.”
“With what proof? If Leland gives them evidence, he’ll be incriminating himself.”
“So? It’s the least he could do. Your brother is dead because of him.”
“No, my brother’s dead because of me. It wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t stupid enough to get involved with a drug dealer.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know how deep he was in.”
I raise my eyebrows, unconvinced, then straddle the bike so I don’t have to look at the trepidation in his eyes.
“If you aren’t going to go to the police, at least promise that you’ll tell my dad the guy’s name and let your uncles take care of it.” When I don’t respond, he reaches over and gently holds my chin to turn my face toward him. “I didn’t leave all this shit behind to win you back. I left it to keep you safe. If you go running back into it, what was the point?”
I start bawling and cover my face with my hands. “But it’s all my fault. I have to fix it.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The knowledge that Cooper died because of my relationship with Leland kept me awake all night. The knowledge of what I now need to do about it is what motivated me to get out of bed this morning. Uncle Ronnie picked me up from Blaine and Elizabeth’s house and we’re driving my mom to the treatment center. Aiden wanted to come too, to make
sure I don’t do anything stupid like go after Johnny Lee by myself. I had to swear on Cooper’s grave that I wouldn’t do that in order to convince Aiden that he should stay and take his exam. I need to talk to Ronnie alone, anyway.
The treatment center looks like a country estate. All my uncles and a couple other Noir et Bleu guys pitched in to pay for it because they want Mom to have the best treatment possible, since it was her choice, and they want her to succeed this time. It looks like it’s going to be a holiday, but I doubt it’s going to feel like that for her.
She hugs me when we get out of the car, but she doesn’t say anything.
“I’ll see you when you get out,” I say encouragingly.
She nods and picks up her bag. Ronnie and I both lean against the hood of the car as she walks toward the front gate and presses a buzzer at the guard station. The gate opens and she glances back at us briefly before walking in. Once the gate closes completely, Ronnie stretches his massive arm across my shoulder and hugs me into his side. It’s kind of touching since he doesn’t know anything about parenting.
After giving me one more squeeze, he stands and walks around the front of the car to get back behind the wheel. I slide into the passenger seat and gaze at him.
“What?” he asks as he checks over his shoulder to back the car up.
Um, okay, this is my one chance to pitch the idea. It needs to be perfect. “I have a plan to get the guy who killed Cooper.”
“Yeah, so do I.”
“No. I don’t want to do it your way.”
“You’re not going to do it my way or your way.” The volume of his voice increases and booms within the confines of the car. “You’re not going to be involved at all.”
Yeah, well, like it or not, I’m not a weak little girl and I’m the only one who knows the name of the guy. “You can’t stop me.”
“The hell I can’t.”
“I’m going to get the guy whether you help me or not and, since I have vital information that you need, you might want to at least hear my plan.”
He glances at me and frowns with a hint of concession. “Fine. What’s your plan?”
“You have to swear that you’ll let me do it.”
“I ain’t swearing shit. Tell me your idea. If it could work, we’ll run it by Digger. If it can’t work, we’re doing it our way.”
I tell him my plan and when I’m done, I study his face, waiting for a reaction.
Eventually, he smiles, impressed. “Damn, girl. That might just work.”
I clap to celebrate the small victory. “I told you.”
His belly bounces as he chuckles. “You’re so much like your daddy, it’s scary.”
“No.” I point at him in a sassy way. “My dad was stupid enough to get caught.” I pull out my phone and call Randy. Unfortunately, he won’t let me tell him my idea over the phone, which means Ronnie has to take me to the clubhouse again. I roll my eyes and hang up on Randy. I desperately wish I could do it without his help, but I can’t, so I guess I’ll have to suck it up and deal.
We drive for a while and Ronnie says, “I think your mom’s going to be able to do it this time.”
“I doubt it. Cooper and Dad both died within six months. If there is ever a good time to be numb to the world, it’s now.”
“Cooper’s death is what made her decide to check herself in. She can’t ever make up time with Cooper now, but she still has a chance with you. She doesn’t want to miss out on being in your life anymore.”
I sit quietly and watch the crop rows distort as we pass them. After a while I turn in my seat to face him. “I wish someone would have told me why Dad killed those guys so I would have understood why she became an addict.”
His eyes shift to meet mine briefly before he focuses back on the road. “That’s not the kind of shit a kid should know happened to their mom.”
“I wouldn’t have been so mean to her if I had known.” I start to cry, but try to stifle it because Ronnie won’t like it if I’m blubbering.
He reaches his right arm over and pats my shoulder roughly. “Don’t cry. You can make up for that shit when she’s clean. Don’t worry about it.”
Ronnie isn’t the type to say something just to make me feel better. He tells it as he sees it and he has known a lot of drug addicts in his lifetime. If he actually believes she’s going to be able to do it, maybe it would be all right for me to have a little faith. I nod and wipe my cheeks, feeling both hopeful about my mom and scared about sharing my plan with Randy.
An hour and a half later, I’m sitting in the chair in Randy’s office. He must have ordered someone to clean it because it’s not sticky anymore. Ronnie stands against the wall with his arms folded. Len and Terry stand behind me. They all listen to my plan. Randy scratches his neck when I finish, but doesn’t respond.
I break the silence by saying, “You have to promise not to tell Aiden because, if he finds out, he’ll try to stop me or get involved. I don’t want him to get hurt, especially after everything he has done for me.”
“Yeah,” Randy says absently.
“Promise you won’t tell him.”
He coughs and drinks from a beer bottle. He exhales and looks at each of my uncles. “Are you all okay with it?” Ronnie nods his agreement and I turn in the chair to face Terry and Len. They both nod in solidarity, too. “All right,” says Randy. “Only you four know about it. Get ’er done.”
I jump up and bound around the desk to give Randy a big hug. “Thanks, Digger.”
“This makes you a One Percenter.”
“Yeah right. I smell too good to be a One Percenter.”
A growl rumbles in his throat and my instincts make me step away cautiously. “I wonder what Aiden would think of your plan.” The tone of his voice is casual and conversational, but that’s what makes it terrifying.
Panic surges through my veins as I consider the possibility that he will use this favor to bribe Aiden to come back. “I don’t want him involved.”
“I’m fully aware of that.” He shoos me away.
“I’m serious, Randy. You’ll never see either one of us again if you try to drag him back in.”
“Just say thank you and get out.”
I turn and check the expressions of all my uncles. Oh, man, this might have been a mistake. “Thank you,” I mumble, then leave, my mind racing with second thoughts.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Randy used his resources to find out where Johnny Lee lives. Then my uncles did surveillance on him for two weeks to learn his patterns. He’s a mid-level gang member, unmarried, no kids. The wait is annoying and nerve-racking, but they want to take their time and do it right with no mistakes—especially since I’m going to be involved. I went back to work after a few days and rehearsed for hours on my audition every evening to distract myself. It’s not really working, though. Concentrating on drapery colors, flooring samples, and script lines is impossible while the revenge plot plays repeatedly in my mind.
It’s killing me to keep the secret from Aiden. I told him my uncles are taking care of everything, which is technically true. If there were a better way for them to get back at Johnny that didn’t require my involvement, I would be all for it, but my way is the only one I would be able to live with in good conscience for the rest of my life. Every time Aiden gets suspicious or asks me why I’m so jittery, I kiss him to make him forget. He’s been getting a lot of action lately. He’s finished his school term now and is working the night shift at a group home, which is where he is tonight.
Elizabeth walks into the kitchen and sits at the barstool watching me as I get the ingredients ready for dinner.
“I’m making tacos if you and Blaine want to join me.”
She spins the salt and pepper shakers around on the counter a few times. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
“No, I mean how are you really doing?”
I can’t tell her that I’m a mess of nerves, so I dodge it and say, “I don’t want
to talk about it.” I wash some lettuce and break it up in a colander.
“When is your audition?”
This is good. I can handle superficial conversation. “Next Friday.”
“Are you feeling ready?”
“Yeah, I think it’s going to go well.”
“How are things at the office?”
It’s actually been a shit show since she’s been away, but I don’t want her to feel like she needs to worry. “Cassidy will be relieved when you’re ready to come back, but she’s handling everything, so there’s no rush.”
“What’s Leland been up to?”
Shit. That is way far from superficial conversation. “No idea.”
“What happened between you two?”
“It’s complicated.”
She nods as if she understands, but her expression makes it clear that she doesn’t. “He called the house today and said you haven’t been returning his calls. He said he has something important to talk to you about.”
I don’t respond because she’ll definitely hear the anger in my voice if I do.
She sighs, then changes the subject. “Have you heard from your mom?”
“No. She’s not supposed to talk to family or friends until she’s been there for a while in case it sets her back or something.” That’s a first. Who would have believed that the topic of my mom would ever be a welcome relief?
Her head keeps bobbing with the same uncertain understanding until she gets up and walks out. Blaine wanders in and opens the fridge.
I wish I could do more to comfort and reassure Elizabeth, but I can’t afford to mess anything up.
“Do you want tacos?” I ask Uncle Blaine.
“Sure, but I should probably check on Liz first. She’s really struggling with Cooper’s death. She thinks he jumped and she’s blaming herself for not seeing the warning signs beforehand.”
Shit. I don’t want her to suffer. Maybe I could tell them enough that she will at least not feel responsible. “He didn’t jump.”
“Well, we just don’t know yet. Maybe we’ll never know for sure,” he says as he twists the cap off a beer.