But Dotty had also told Daisy another story, one that did the heart less good. At her base, which was non-operational, word had come through that a badly damaged Lanc was coming in to make an emergency landing. The place was full of Americans and B-17 Flying Fortresses – their version of the British Lancs – and when the word spread the American aircrews rushed to the tarmac to have their first look at the real thing. Two of the Lanc’s four engines had gone, the turret and the tail – the areas that housed the mid-upper and tail gunners – were no longer there, and the fuselage was riddled with bullets. As it came to a halt everyone was relieved that there was no fire, so the fire crew weren’t needed.
Then the pilot stepped out and said, ‘My navigator’s injured, both gunners are dead,’ and an American doctor and orderlies removed the navigator and rushed him to hospital in the waiting ambulance. Other medical orderlies moved in to remove the bodies of the two gunners, coming out with the mid-upper gunner first, then making their way to the tail to recover the other body. Tail End Charlie no longer existed in any recognisable form, though; he was simply splattered on the inner surfaces nearest the tail. The orderlies came out of the plane and sat on the ground being sick. They had never seen such horror and were too shocked to act professionally. The pilot climbed into a Jeep to be driven away.
‘Is it always like this?’ an American voice had asked.
The pilot looked at him wearily. ‘It sometimes is,’ he’d said.
Dotty said the Americans had been as boisterous as everyone expected them to be up till then, giving out handfuls of candy to everyone, making a noise, sure that now they were in this little war it would soon be cleared up, they’d have a little fun and get back home again in no time. But after the Lanc landed they changed, they seemed to understand for the first time what the boys had been up against during the years of the war America had missed.
One August night at Langar, Eileen wasn’t on duty in the tower. A new lot of WAAFs had arrived, giving them more than they needed, so there were more rest days and leave. One of the new lot, Pearl, was with Daisy in the tower. Pearl was a small, dark-haired, very pretty girl who had a way of turning her head at an angle when she looked at you, and Daisy had immediately identified her as being a magnet for Fly Boys. It was raining lightly, but takeoff was just takeoff, nothing to mark this one as different from any other.
Lady Groundhog had been shot up shortly before, the mid-upper gunner and Tail End Charlie had been badly injured and the two replacement boys had barely had time to shake hands. When they’d come back from the first incident Daisy and Eileen had been on duty and had watched the ambulances take the injured gunners off, then Calli, Bruiser and the others lay on the tarmac, wrestling with each other and capering about like children in their relief that they’d made it home.
Tonight didn’t seem different, but it was. Daisy couldn’t explain it, but she’d bumped into the Lady Groundhog crew in the NAAFI earlier and Calli had seemed subdued. Daisy had grown quite fond of him. He was a decent boy, she thought, though she hadn’t given him any more of a chance than the others at first. He was treating Eileen well, too, no messing about.
Once, Calli had stared at Daisy from a distance with such concentration that she had turned round as though he had called her name, and she found she couldn’t look away. Usually it was Bruiser who caught her attention. Bruiser would and frequently did do anything to make her look at him, and finding herself staring at Calli had quite unnerved her, though she hadn’t known why. She was sure she had read his lips saying ‘Poor Daisy’.
‘Do you see that Fly Boy of yours?’ Daisy had demanded of Eileen. ‘He called me “poor Daisy”. What the hell does he mean by that, cheeky bugger!’
‘I’m sure he didn’t,’ Eileen, had laughed, ‘he wouldn’t have dared!’
‘He’d better not,’ Daisy scowled. ‘I don’t mind him calling me an old hag, but I won’t have him calling me “poor”. You tell the blighter that.’
She’d never forgotten it, though. It irritated her because she couldn’t really be sure what he had said, if he’d said anything, and she couldn’t ask him either because it would have sounded silly, even to Daisy. Still, she liked him, and that night in the NAAFI, as he sat with his crew, he looked particularly anxious, though going up with two gunners he didn’t know would do that to any pilot.
‘What’s wrong with you, Fly Boy?’ she asked. ‘Eileen finally come to her senses and given you the elbow?’
‘No, your luck’s right out there, Daisy,’ he replied. ‘But keep hoping, you never know.’
‘Then what’s up with your ugly mug?’
‘Oh, nothing. Just thinking, you know.’
‘I’m thinking, too,’ Bruiser said, smiling at her. ‘Ask me what I’m thinking about.’
‘You have no capacity for thought,’ Daisy retorted, dismissing him with a look and returning to Calli.
Bruiser jumped up and offered her his chair with exaggerated gallantry. She glanced at him and sat down without thanking him.
‘You’re not worried, are you?’ she asked Calli.
‘No more than usual,’ he grinned. ‘I’ve always thought about my family back home, but now there’s Eileen to think about as well, that’s all.’ He looked up at her. ‘It’s just me letting myself be spooked, new gunners and all that. Just me being spooked.’
Daisy didn’t know why, but on the spur of the moment she kissed him on the cheek. ‘See you later,’ she smiled, drawling in her best Mae West tradition, ‘I’ll be waiting for your call.’
As she turned to leave, Bruiser shot to his feet, yelling, ‘She’s mine, you Canuck bastard, she’s mine! You should never trust these farm boys!’ and started wrestling with Calli. Then the others joined in, apart from the two new gunners, who weren’t quite part of the family yet.
‘Daisy, Daisy!’ Bruiser yelled after her. ‘Daisy, I’m more spooked than this Canuck bastard, I need a kiss!’ and she waved a regal hand in his direction and smiled without turning round. ‘I’ll be coming to collect when I get back!’ he shouted, and the boys all laughed, but she felt Calli’s heart wasn’t in it and for some reason it made her feel cold.
He had such a decent expression in his eyes, she remembered. He was the real thing, no longer the nice boy from Canada, but the lovely boy, she thought, now that she had got to know him a little better through Eileen.
Lady Groundhog was bound for Italy, a long mission, and as the plane went off all the girls cheered, waving frantically, wishing the boys a safe journey and an even safer one home again.
But Lady Groundhog didn’t come back.
Daisy sat in the tower all night with Pearl and a few of the others, long after all the planes had been accounted for, long after they had been stood down, waiting for something more than silence. They were chatting in that nervous way, trying to sound so natural and unconcerned that they sounded unnatural and concerned, then they heard steps on the concrete. Daisy opened the tower door, ready to curse Lady Groundhog’s crew for keeping them from their beds, but there was no one there.
‘Did you hear that?’ she asked one of the girls.
‘Yes, it was flying boots, but I didn’t see a plane coming back.’
‘Doesn’t matter,’ Pearl grinned, ‘just so long as they’re back.’
They looked out of the door and across the tarmac but there was no one there.
‘Stop messing about, you bloody idiots!’ Daisy said, trying to cover her relief. ‘Some of us have beds to go to, you know!’
Still there was no one there, and the girls sat down again, confused and a little shivery, to wait for Lady Groundhog to return or make contact.
Soon after that they received a message ordering them again to stand down. The last aircraft was now confirmed lost. The message was timed exactly to when they had heard the footsteps.
‘I was sure I heard flying boots,’ someone said. ‘You can’t mistake them, can you?’
‘No,’ Daisy smiled tightly. ‘I thou
ght I heard them, too. Maybe someone put something in our tea tonight.’ And suddenly it hit her that she would never again see Bruiser’s silly grin and she fought down a sob. She was a WAAF, more than that, she was Daisy Sheridan, and Daisy Sheridan was always in control. Besides, she had something to do now and she would need all her self-discipline and her wits about her.
16
Daisy walked back to the hut with Pearl to face Eileen, unsure of how she should, break this news, unsure even of how it, would affect Eileen, but knowing it had to be done. After her officer at West Drayton had broken the news of her own family being wiped out, Daisy had thought about it and realised that she’d done it quickly, no holding back in a kindly attempt to break it gradually, so she decided she would do the same with Eileen.
It was six in the morning when they reached the hut, and before they went in Daisy and Pearl arranged that, as Eileen’s closest friend, Daisy should do it alone. Pearl had been very quiet, understandably so, and Daisy was afraid she might break down in front of Eileen, and that couldn’t be allowed to happen.
Eileen was standing by the window, her back to the door, as Daisy came in.
‘Are you all right?’ Daisy asked. ‘Why are you up at this hour?’
‘Just couldn’t sleep,’ Eileen said, smiling. ‘What about you? You look exhausted.’
‘It’s been a bad night,’ Daisy said wearily. ‘You know the kind.’
‘How bad, Daisy?’ Eileen asked, her arms folded, watching her.
‘The worst, Eileen,’ Daisy replied, and fought to go on. ‘Lady Groundhog has been confirmed lost. She was seen crashing, she was on fire and there were no parachutes seen.’
Eileen closed her eyes and rocked slightly on her feet.
‘Eileen?’
The girl put a hand up and said quietly, ‘It’s OK, really, it’s OK. Don’t panic.’ She stood for a moment then sat on her bed. ‘The poor boys,’ she said. ‘My God, isn’t it awful?’
‘It is,’ Daisy said, aware that it was inadequate. ‘Can I get you something?’
‘No, no thanks, Daisy, I think I’d like to lie down.’
There wasn’t another word said for hours. Daisy stayed awake because she couldn’t sleep and in all that time she didn’t hear a sound from Eileen.
They both had a day or so off, a normal day off between two twelve-hour shifts for Daisy, and the final day of a three-day leave for Eileen. Daisy would spend the day with her friend, she decided, make sure she was really OK. The trouble was that she didn’t know how close Calli and Eileen were. They had only known each other for two months and even then didn’t manage to see each other that much because of their duties. And how close could two people get in that short time?
It was wartime, Daisy knew how fast things could progress in such times, but still, Eileen had liked the boy – who wouldn’t? – but she hadn’t said anything that gave Daisy an inkling of how Eileen really felt. Calli had made that remark earlier in the NAAFI about now having Eileen to think about, but what did that actually mean?
Daisy must have drifted off without noticing it, a deep, deep sleep that kept her under without a single dream, and when she woke up she was alone, she thought. Then she became aware of a group of WAAF hierarchy standing at the door looking at her.
‘What is it?’ she demanded angrily.
‘Just making sure,’ one of them said.
‘Making sure of what?’
‘That you really were asleep after night duty as it says on the notice on the door. There’s a parade today, some girls will use any ploy to escape them, as you well know.’
‘And that would be so bad?’ Daisy shouted, jumping out of her bed. ‘The whole world would come to an end if I got myself off some stupid parade, would it? We’d lose the war because I’d had a kip instead?’
‘Consider yourself on a charge for insubordination, Sheridan.’
‘Consider yourself a bloody clown!’ Daisy shouted back, returning to bed. ‘And what’s more,’ she yelled, taking the in-for-a-penny line, ‘only poke your head back in here while I’m trying to kip if you’re happy to lose it! Stick that on your charge-sheet, and now get out and shut the bloody door after you!’
Daisy didn’t know why she had reacted as she had. The Squadron Leader blamed overwork and lack of sleep after a particularly busy and distressing spell, and he might have been right. They decided to let her off with a warning, something of a first, so either she was invaluable or everyone knew she had been in the right and the hierarchy didn’t want to inflame the situation by punishing Daisy.
Not that she cared. She had reached that stage beyond and regarded the whole nonsense as no more than irritating. Her focus was on Eileen, who seemed to be coping amazingly well with Calli’s loss, and there was something in the back of her mind that wondered if her friend was putting on an act.
After putting in a word for her a week later, the Squadron Leader ordered Daisy to use some of the leave she had built up and go off somewhere. She would have refused, but the weather was bad and flying was put off for a couple of weeks.
‘And even if the weather was clear, you know perfectly well there won’t be any flying,’ the Squadron Leader teased her, ‘the boys would refuse to go up unless you were at least on the premises.’
Eileen had already gone on weekend leave to London to meet up with Alex, her childhood sweetheart, before he joined his ship, but she was back in the hut when Daisy returned from being rapped across the knuckles.
‘What did you get?’ Eileen asked, looking up.
‘Told to be a good girl in future,’ Daisy smiled sweetly.
‘They’ll be lucky!’
‘Told to take some time off, too.’
‘One of your famous London orgies would do you the world of good,’ Eileen grinned, ‘they always put some colour in your cheeks.’
‘You’re sure you’ll be all right?’ Daisy asked Eileen, but she was already reaching for her bag.
Eileen was writing a letter. ‘I’m fine, stop worrying, mother hen!’
‘Who are you writing to?’
‘Alex,’ Eileen smiled in reply.
Daisy grimaced. ‘The bastard childhood sweetheart?’
Eileen nodded.
‘Typical of him to join the navy!’ Daisy snorted. As far as she was concerned even the senior service was vastly inferior to the RAF. ‘Never mind,’ she continued sweetly, ‘at least that gives us the possibility that he might drown.’
‘Daisy!’
‘Well,’ Daisy muttered, ‘bloody childhood sweethearts, they shouldn’t be allowed.’
‘Get on your way,’ Eileen grinned at her. ‘Leave this place, it’s making you bitter and nasty!’
‘Oh, no,’ Daisy said seriously, ‘I was like that when I joined up!’
Rose Cottage was just what Daisy needed; peace, sleep, comfort plus coddling and gossip from Mar, though it was hard to switch off at first. Mar still had no idea what Par did in London, but he was much busier these days, she said. Things had livened up since Dunkirk and he wasn’t about as much, and when he was, he was very tired.
‘Don’t bother dressing for dinner, darling,’ Mar told Daisy, ‘that’s Par’s thing, not mine. Besides, we have a few of Dotty’s waifs and strays at the moment and I think it would be a damned cheek to ask them to go to the trouble after what they’ve been through.’
‘How is Dotty? I haven’t seen her in ages,’ Daisy said. ‘We write every now and again, but she’s busy, she really loves her work.’
‘Yes, I know!’ Mar yelled. ‘Isn’t that quite something? Who’d have thought it? She was here a few weeks ago, when that Australian Spitfire Johnny came down. Remember? One of the chaps Freddy brought with him the first time you were here?’
‘Freddy!’ Daisy said, neatly dodging the question. ‘How is he?’
‘He’s in North Africa now,’ Mar said. ‘Been promoted, something big, no idea what. Keeps promising to send me bananas. I was thinking about that the other day, in fa
ct. Can you remember absolutely pining for bananas before the war, Daisy? I can’t. Now I think about them a lot – lack of, if you see what I mean. Par says I’m not missing bananas at all, they’re just phallic symbols and I’m missing a bit of the other with him being away so much.’
Daisy burst out laughing.
‘I said he was wrong, of course, that I was thinking of very large bananas, and all I remember seeing when he was here more often were very small ones.’ With that she threw her head back and shrieked, the noise filling the huge sitting room. ‘He’s been wandering about saying things like “Walls have ears”, and “Down every plughole is an enemy lughole”. I said to him, “Par, I do hate it when you’ve been drinking and you pretend to be witty.” Didn’t do a blind bit of good, of course, he just said “Careless lips sink ships”.’
Tea was brought in just then, and sponge cake with jam and cream bulging out all round, and they sat in companionable silence for a while, then Mar leaned forward, looking around as though the walls really did have ears.
‘Between you and me, Daisy,’ she said, eyes narrowed to slits, ‘I can’t quite see our Dotty with this Australian chap, can you?’
‘I have no idea,’ Daisy said quietly. ‘I remember him, but not all that well, we only exchanged a couple of words, but I do know they’ve been writing to each other since then.’
‘Nice chap,’ Mar said, shaking her head, ‘and Dotty is clearly besotted, but I can’t see that he is.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t worry about it, they obviously planned to be here at the same time, didn’t they? There must be something there.’
‘And you, Daisy? No one stolen your heart?’
‘Not me,’ Daisy replied. ‘If you knew the heartache I’ve been dealing with up at Langar. No, not for me, I’ll wait till after the war and just hope life will settle down first.’
‘Good for you!’ Mar leaned forward and gave Daisy’s thigh a gentle slap. ‘You’re a sensible sort, Daisy, you’ve got the right idea. Have some fun and don’t get caught too young!’
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