by Unknown
Amiira felt the undeniable recognition of that fact resonate in the pit of her stomach as she let the hot water run over her face. This wasn't what she had expected; this wasn't what she had taken this reprieve and semi-vacation for. She had wanted this to be her getaway, her escape, her much needed relaxation.
She didn't want to be hindered by some bafflingly attraction and unspeakable connection to some man whom she'd known for less than 36 hours. But there was something about Kian that called to her on a very basic and primitive level.
She hadn't completely ruled out having a casual fling while she was in the house, but ideally it wouldn't be with someone who also lived there. Amiira was practical enough to recognize that having physical relationships with roommates wasn't necessarily a smart thing to do, especially if they were of the casual nature. There was too much room for hiccups and hurt feelings and awkward interpretations.
A random hookup would have done her good in the grand scheme of her life, especially coming off the heels of being completely blindsided and hurt by Eli. But this new and fresh thing with Kian that she couldn't even properly name was taking her mind to a whole other level, she was engrossed with the mere thought of him and she didn't even know him that well. This wasn't something that she'd expected or even completely condoned. She wondered to herself if she could somehow cease what she felt was already impending at a paramount speed.
She didn't doubt her strength to stop herself if something happened between them, she doubted her will, and if that was something she'd actually be willing to do. Because a huge part of her was beyond enamored by his mere physical presence. When he spoke, that feeling was only further compounded. She liked him all around, as much as one could like another when they'd only known them for less than two days.
That fact right there tripped her up and made her doubtful of the entire situation.
She turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a plush oversized white towel around her body after she'd thoroughly dried herself. She gazed in the mirror, at her hair that she'd haphazardly thrown and tied up on the top of her head. She'd neglected to roll or wrap it the night before, so it was looking a bit wavy and the pin straight look she'd achieved the day before was gone.
Amiira walked into her room to grab her phone before returned to the bathroom and sitting perched on the side of the bathtub. She'd opted for a shower instead of a soak, and now thought that maybe steeping in fragrant hot water would have done her mind some good.
She fiddled with her phone momentarily before putting it to her ear as it rang.
“Hey girl!” Naomi's cheerful voice greeted her, instantly making her feel better, if only marginally.
“Nae, I need your sound and sage advice,” Amiira exclaimed lowly, almost hating herself for how desperate she sounded, but more so because of how desperate she felt.
“What's going on?” Naomi questioned, her voice inquisitive. “The water and sunshine isn't treating you well?”
“No, those two things are treating me just fine,” Amiira sighed as she pulled her towel tighter around her warm body. “I'm being so silly, I can feel it. I need you to talk me out of something dumb.”
“Oh, well you know I have no problem telling you exactly what's on my mind, and if talking you out of something is what you need then so be it. What's this about?”
“There's this guy,” Amiira began, the hesitation in her voice apparent as she almost struggled to get the words out.
“A guy already, Miir?” Naomi questioned, the tone of her voice teetering on the precipice of shock. “You've been there what, a day?”
“I know,” Amiira almost groaned, instantly feeling foolish and immature. “It's so silly. I don't know what it is about him, Nae.”
“Did something happen?”
“No, no nothing's happened, I'm just so attracted to him, it's almost surreal. But this isn't what I came here for, some otherworldly attraction to some guy. I just want to relax.”
“Sometimes it happens like that though,” Naomi offered after silence hung on the other end of the phone. “When you least expect it and right away, almost instantaneously. Sometimes that's just how attraction works. What do you wanna do?”
“I don't know,” Amiira almost whined. “I feel so dumb but he's so gorgeous, and it's not just how he looks, it's how he is. He's just compelling.”
“Hmm, sounds like you're in a predicament, my dear.”
Chapter 13
The night seemed to wind rather uneventfully. Amiira and Riley had made dinner for all five of them and they'd had a very pleasant meal where small talk ensued, which helped Amiira further understand all of her roommates as individuals and what some of their most notable characteristics were.
Kian offered to clean the kitchen as soon as they were all done, or rather just silently started in on the task without saying anything to signify what he was doing. It took Amiira a second to hold herself back from protesting on account of his bandaged hand.
She was not his mother or his keeper; she needed to keep quiet.
Amiira had noticed the way he had sort of stayed out of her space since she'd come downstairs to help Riley prepare dinner. She caught him looking at her twice but it wasn't in an overt or persistent fashion that she'd come to expect from him in the short time she had known him. Amiira had asked him how his hand was in passing, while they were all in the kitchen and he had brushed it off, saying something about it being fine.
She had left the subject alone and they had all enjoyed a nice dinner void of any notable hiccups, although Amiira couldn't help but notice Riley giving her rather noticeable glances that seemed to signify she'd be asking her about what she'd walked in on earlier, as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Amiira returned her looks in an innocent, unknowing way, as if she was unsure of what the blonde was suggesting in her silence.
After dinner, Riley and Wyatt had decided to go to some get together with one of Riley's friends, who had extended the invitation to the whole house, however Elijah, Amiira and Kian had declined to accompany them.
Hours later, Amiira found herself alone outside near the patio lounging in one of the oversized, sublimely comfortable hammocks. She had switched to drinking red wine at dinner, after realizing that she couldn't keep up with Jose Cuervo for the night, which was making its way through her bloodstream at a leisurely pace. She stared thoughtfully into the clear night sky, silently counting the stars and letting the soothing sound of the ocean further aid in relaxing her body.
Amiira felt a small chill run through her despite the bit of warmth the red wine had given her. Her frayed cut-off jean shorts and off-the-shoulder gray sweater weren't necessarily doing much to warm her against the night's breeze. She however, wasn't cold enough to get up and go inside. The hammock swung to and fro with the movements that her body made as she languished more in the comfort that she was enjoying. Her thoughts started to drift a bit and she almost didn't hear the slight ruffling as someone approached her. When her eyes fell on him she felt her stomach flutter. A reaction she was starting to expect whenever he turned up, although she wasn't necessarily accustomed to the feeling.
“Hey,” Kian offered easily, he was holding a beer and was dressed casually in linen pants, a deep gray henley and his hair was still down from earlier. Amiira took in the sight of him without uttering a word and thought how much he looked like a model, or some glorious mythical lean god with all the presence and power that position required.
“Hi,” Amiira countered, clearing her throat. “How was your night?”
“It was fine, yours?” Kian questioned, bring his mouth to the beer bottle and taking a long sip. He had disappeared some time shortly after Riley and Wyatt had left. Where he had gone, she didn't know and she wasn't planning on asking.
“It was okay, low key.”
“The lovebirds aren't back yet, huh?” Kian asked, making reference to Riley and Wyatt. At that, Amiira let out an involuntary smile.
“No, not yet.”
The waves crashing briskly against the shore were the only sound in the air, as neither of them offered any other words. Amiira suddenly had the thought that she should ask him to join her in the hammock; it was big enough after all. But she realized that was probably too forward and might lead to certain behavior that she was trying to avoid. Plus if he really wanted to sit, there was an identical hammock to the left of her that he could easily lay in.
“Can I ask you a question?” Amiira spoke up suddenly, her eyes fastening onto his face. Kian leaned one of his shoulders against the tree that was holding up one side of the hammock that she occupied.
“You can ask me more than one if you'd like,” Kian joked in his easy, soothing tone.
Amiira's ears felt a bit warm, she was unsure if it was caused by the alcohol or his flirting. She was willing to bet that it was probably a combination of both.
“How old are you?” Amiira questioned after studying him carefully in silence for a few moments.
“How old do you think I am?” Kian countered as he loosely folded his arms across his chest.
“Well you have this quiet wisdom about you,” Amiira began.
“Wow, that's high praise,” Kian interjected, a small smile playing on his face. Its dazzling nature almost threw Amiira off her answer.
“31.” Amiira guessed, she wasn't sure if the little bit of facial hair that framed his face aged him incorrectly. But she figured he was in his thirties like she was.
“I'm 25.” Kian answered evenly.
Amiira could feel her eyes widened at his answer and she automatically thought he was lying.
“You are not.”
“I am. Born in '89.”
Amiira had an almost visceral reaction to him being nearly 8 years younger then she was. Even if it was just to entertain the idea, without any real intention of anything happening, she had no desire to be a cougar. Not only that but he seemed so much older. Well out of the mercurial 20s. The night before what he had revealed to be his profession and his hobbies, as well as his propensity for widespread travel, gave her the impression that he was quietly wealthy. Or at least was the beneficiary of generational wealth.
If she didn't already have certain reservations about anything happening with Kian, she definitely did now.
Chapter 14
“The look on your face right now is quite amusing,” Kian explained, muffling a little bit of a chuckle. “There's no reason to be mortified, many people think I'm older than I actually am. I take it as a compliment.”
“It is definitely intended as such,” Amiira replied, trying desperately to stop her head from churning all the thoughts that had decided to visit her all at once. “You're so mature though, I mean... I don't know you that well but from what I gather you are.”
“I appreciate you saying so,” Kian responded, his brown eyes almost gleaming as they were aided by the outside lights nearby.
“Last night you were talking about how you love to travel?” Amiira asked, bringing up a point of emphasis that they had discussed, although only briefly, the night before.
“I do, I'm a bit of a wanderer, a vagabond if you will.” Kian replied; he placed his hand flat against where his collarbone was.
Amiira felt her eyes follow his mannerisms and immediately told herself to stop being so hyper aware of his movements.
“But where's home? Where are your roots?”
“San Francisco mostly, sometimes L.A. but I usually don't stay in the states for longer than three months at a time.”
“When's your next trip?” Amiira posed as she watched the ease in which he inhabited his own body. He took up space in a rather meaningful yet, forgiving way.
“In September, I'm going to Honduras.”
“How many different countries have you been to?”
“31.” Kian said definitively.
“What?” Amiira exclaimed almost in complete shock, her voice increasing in pitch as her face displayed her surprise. “You've been to more countries than years you've been alive?”
“I guess so,” Kian surmised, his expression showing his enjoyment at her reaction.
Amiira suddenly had so many questioned that she felt she probably shouldn't ask. She wanted to know how that worked, being constantly on the move and in a different place. She wondered if he did it because he was fundamentally running from something or someone or even an idea, or if he really just loved it that much.
Loved the differences, loved the cultures, loved the lessons.
“Do you have any pictures with you?”Amiira wondered aloud, remembering how he'd mentioned something about being really immersed in photography as well. “Of all these places you've been?”
“I do,” Kian nodded, his loose hair moving when the breeze picked up.
“I'd like to see them sometime,” Amiira suggested, as she sat further up in the hammock and swung her legs towards the ground.
“Of course.”
Amiira stood up just then, both satisfied with the conversation and how much she had learned about this enigma of a man. Before she could even fashion her mouth to wish him goodnight or to tell him that she'd see him in the morning, he was speaking as she turned her focus back towards him.
“Can you wait just a minute?” Kian asked, straightening from his previous position and casually spanning the distance to where Amiira stood.
Both curious and a bit stunned by how close he all of a sudden was. Amiira looked up into his face, for the first time acutely aware of how much taller he was than she. It dawned on her, rather briefly, that fact hadn't properly set in earlier when she was taking care of his hand and trying not to get lost in his eyes.
An attempt that she seemed to be trying once more, as she waited for him to say something.
But he remained silent, only a few inches separating their bodies. His eyes roamed over her face in a slow, deliberate manner, she felt her knees wobble just a little bit at his change of focus. The almost literal conductivity in the air in that moment was this inexplicable, heightened almost vibrational frequency and Amiira could feel it in her bones.
She suddenly knew that he was going to kiss her when his perfectly shaped lips parted. As soon as he leaned forward, and his lips gently touched hers, she felt herself gasp and step into him, accepting the gesture and returning it in equal measure. Kian's hands came up and softly cupped her face, as his lips became more emboldened, tasting and prodding her mouth slowly, as he meticulously moved his lips over hers.
Amiira didn't know where to put her hands, but she settled on the crooks of his elbows, as she felt herself almost melt into him. Her heart was beating so fervently in her chest that she thought maybe he could hear it, but even if he could, she wouldn't have cared.
Their kisses started escalating as Amiira quickened the pace, changing angles on his mouth as she deepened their kiss. She felt his tongue run across the inside of her bottom lip and goosebumps descended across her covered arms. Their mouths oscillated against one another in a delicious entanglement that became more and more riddled with passion as the seconds wore on.
Amiira suddenly snapped into reality as her lungs started to almost burst for want of oxygen. She pulled back and was immediately hit in the face with what had just transpired. Trying to both catch her breath and not look him in the eyes, she took a couple steps back.
“I can't, I'm sorry,” Amiira sputtered, putting her hand briefly on her forehead.
Kian, who was breathing heavily himself, looked confused, his eyes bewildered and his lips slightly more plump.
“No, I apologize if I was out of line...” Kian began, after taking a deep labored breath and running his hand hastily through his hair.
“No, no. It's not you,” Amiira tried to convince him, her gaze meeting his again with a stinging brevity before she looked away once more. “It's me. I just can't... I'm sorry.”
Because she didn't have any other move and because her hands were actually trembling and because all she wanted to do i
n that moment was taste his mouth again, Amiira made a beeline for the house and practically ran up two flights of stairs.
Once safely in her room with the door closed she sat on her bed and tried to convince herself that she hadn't just made a huge mistake. Because regardless of how much she liked him and how beautiful a man he was, she wasn't in the right frame of mind for anything substantial, or otherwise, to happen with him
Her phone buzzed on the dresser; she looked up at it momentarily startled and realized she'd left it upstairs earlier in the evening.