by Winters, KB
I stopped abruptly and stared at him. “You have another date tonight? How? Where did you meet this woman?”
He shrugged. “This one? Online. She plays Call of Duty and gamer chicks are super hot.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. To be so big and accomplished, Mace was a kid. Or just young at heart. “You are quite the character, Mace.”
“Thanks, but you still didn’t answer my question.” One dark brow arched and his lips curled into a teasing smile. “Bet I can guess.”
When Mace pushed the door open, Emmett was there in the first parking spot, leaning against his car, a shy smile on his face.
“Nothing to guess,” I told him and started walking toward Emmett. Even though Mace was a good six inches taller, he easily caught up to me.
“Emmett. He’s a good guy.”
That much I already knew. “He’s funny too. Talks to me like I’m a real adult woman, not just a widow.” As those words tumbled out of my mouth to who was basically a stranger, I realized how true they were. “Shit.”
“That’s a good thing. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Roll with it.”
“Thanks. I will.”
“It’s about damn time,” Mace cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled.
Emmett’s response was a laugh as he flipped him the bird.
Men, they were little boys all of their lives.
Except the way Emmett looked at me as I walked toward him wasn’t at all boyish. His blue eyes were full of grown up, masculine appreciation and I found myself putting a little extra swing in my hips. “Do I even want to know what that was about?”
“Probably not,” he shrugged. “Mace was giving me shit the other day because he says I’m surrounded by beautiful women and I ignore them.” He pulled the door open for me and smiled. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” I slid into the passenger seat and felt my face flame with embarrassment. I was glad someone had noticed other than Anastasia, but his compliment was unexpected. “Mace is right, you know. I saw some of your female fighters, beautiful and fit.”
His jaw tightened as he started the engine and put the car in motion and I wondered if Emmett was the type to simply ignore things he didn’t want to talk about. When he nodded, I realized he wasn’t, he was the kind of man who took his time and thought about what he wanted to say.
He turned to me and said, “I have eyes and yeah, the women are attractive. But I train them and that can get messy so I don’t do it.”
I didn’t know how to react so I just answered him with a question. “Never?”
“Never.”
His blue-eyed gaze swung to mine at a red light, allowing me to see that he serious.
He pulled away from the light and said, “They’re like a mix of employee, sister and student, you know? I have to be on their ass about everything from training to diet to PR, brutally honest about their flaws and protective all in one. It’s exhausting without the addition of attraction or romance.”
“You’ve given this some thought.”
He nodded. “I work a lot and those are the women I see most.” Emmett shrugged and I couldn’t look away from his strong capable hands and the corded muscles of his forearms as he navigated the car through traffic. He was also a fine specimen of a man.
“Enough about me. How did your second night go?”
“Good, actually. Thanks for asking.” I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. So much of my life had been about Lance, and now I was learning to be my own person, not just part of a couple.
“Well?” he said, checking his mirrors. “You gonna make me pull the details out of you?” He had a way of asking about me without looking me in the eye.
I laughed and told him all about my shift. “I like it. The players are all characters straight from a movie or something, funny and rich but otherwise just like the rest of us. I like that I can joke with them without pissing them off.”
Emmett let out a bark of laughter, a bit nervous I thought, but maybe I was being overly sensitive. “You give those guys shit? I’d love to see that.”
I shoved at his shoulder. “You don’t think I can roast with the best of ’em?”
“Oh, I’m sure you can. That’s exactly why I want to see it for myself. So you plan on keeping the job, then?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?” My whole body went tense, and I realized I was waiting for Emmett to talk me out of it.
He hesitated for a moment. What was that about? Then I breathed a sigh of relief when he said, “No reason, just curious, I guess.” His gaze slid to mine, a million questions swimming in his blue eyes. “You okay?”
“Yes. No. Sorry.” I realized I sounded like a crazy person and I let out a shaky laugh. “I thought you were going to talk me out of it.”
“Why would I? This is the biggest smile I’ve seen on your face since I met you. Seems like it’s good for you.” That was what Emmett said but I noticed his jaw tightened a little.
“Provo says Lance wouldn’t want me to do this kind of work, whatever that means. My parents think I should go back home and marry some pastor friend of theirs. And Evan seems to think I just don’t belong. I guess I was feeling defensive.”
“Evan’s a prick to everyone so don’t mind him. It’s not personal, just the nature of his work. Provo, well my guess is he promised Lance he’d look after you, and that’s a tough line to toe.”
Emmett opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, piquing my curiosity.
“What?”
He shrugged and pulled into my driveway. “My relationship with my folks is shit, so I don’t have much wisdom to offer.”
It wasn’t the first time he shared that he wasn’t close with his parents, but I suspected if Emmett wanted to tell me more, he would.
“And if you were, what would you tell them?”
“That if they really gave a damn about me, they’d let me figure out what to do after my entire fucking world crashed. And if they couldn’t do that, I’d tell them to get the fuck away.”
“I wish I could do that. I’ve chosen avoidance.”
He flashed an adorable, boyish grin. “That’s always an option, too, Vanessa. There’s no way to know what you need when it comes to grief. Find something that works and stick with it until it stops working.”
“You really think so?”
He nodded. “I know so. Trust me. I’m wise beyond my years.”
Another laugh escaped me, and I shook my head. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the ride, Emmett.” Feeling bold, I leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “And the advice.”
“Anytime. Hearing you laugh is music to my ears.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I slipped out of the car and made my way inside my big house and got ready for bed. When I fell asleep that night, it was the first time in months I didn’t dream about Lance.
Chapter Nine
Emmett
I was the last one to arrive at Ashby Manor for the meeting because I slept for shit after a late night with Vanessa, or was it an early morning? I woke up too late to have breakfast or coffee and make it to this meeting on time. After the fight with Terry, my head felt like the National Guard was running drills at double-time behind my eyeballs, but thanks to my bob and weave technique, he hadn’t left a mark on my face.
“Morning,” I growled at all the familiar faces seated around the dining room table that was already loaded with breakfast foods.
“Nice of you to join us,” Virgil grunted and stole a slice of bacon from Kat’s fingers.
“It is, isn’t it?” I made my way over to the big pot of coffee brewing on the sideboard and filled half of one of the fancy oversized mugs that Sadie favored. “What’s going on?”
“Don’t know yet,” Terry said, staring at me closely through his sunglasses. Carefully. As if he was trying to figure out where my head was. Or if I was going to take another swing at him.
Well, good luck with that because I had no
fucking clue where my head was either. We took our mugs of coffee and walked to our respective neutral corners.
Five minutes later, Sadie strolled in, looking very much unlike herself in jeans, a red blazer and matching heels. From the moment I met her, she’d always favored the uptown look that mostly consisted of Chanel suits, tailored blouses, and five-figure purses.
“Good morning, all,” she said, skimming the room without addressing anyone in particular.
A smattering of early morning greetings met Sadie as she crossed the length of the dining room to grab a mug of coffee before she took her seat at the head of the table.
“Where you been, Ma?”
Leave it to Jasper to get right down to the point. I was grateful though, and he was the only one who could dare get away with talking to her like that.
Sadie took her time answering, her keen green eyes staring straight ahead at her oldest son before she took a long, slow sip from her mug.
“I have been busy and that’s the reason for this meeting.”
Jasper growled again. “It was supposed to have taken place yesterday,” his voice low and slightly menacing.
She waved his words off. “I know but I needed some time to verify a few things before I brought it to all of you.”
It was a good enough answer for me, but I could see Terry, Virgil and Jasper shaking their heads angrily.
“Savannah Rhymer is not with The Crusaders.”
“How could you possibly know that?” Kat asked with wonder in her voice.
“Because this is what I do. Gather intel we might need at a later date. And this intel required me to meet with Ronan for lunch.”
“You met with that old fuck for lunch?” Jasper was up and out of his seat in a flash. “What were you thinking?”
As was her way, Sadie shrugged and leaned back in her chair to sip her coffee as if she didn’t have a care in the world. But I knew better. I could see the tension around her eyes and lips. Whatever news she had; it wasn’t good.
“Ronan and I needed to speak privately. He thought we killed his precious daughter and wanted to bargain for her body.” She laughed. “Wanted to give her a proper Christian burial.”
“And you believe him?” Jasper shook his head in disgust. “He could have killed you. What were you thinking?”
“Relax, son,” she said, not offended by his assumption. “Are any of you familiar with the Black Jacks?”
Virgil responded. “No, who are the Black Jacks?”
Sadie lit a cigarette, and Thomas was at her side in a split second with a crystal ashtray. She took a drag off the cigarette and blew the smoke away from the table. Trying to be respectful I guessed.
“They’re a novel motorcycle club trying to make a name for themselves. One of Ronan’s security guys saw the VP having a long, serious chat with none other than Brendan Rhymer. That could mean more trouble for all of us.”
“Jesus, Ma. You can’t be serious.” Jasper reached across the table and grabbed a cigarette from Sadie’s gold case. “You believe this shit?”
Sadie eyed Jasper with a cool green gaze. “Do you have information that says he’s wrong?”
“No. But I will. Soon.”
“Then shut up. When you have information, bring it to me, and I’ll be happy to listen to you. I don’t trust Ronan either, but until we know for a fact that he’s full of shit, we move forward as if it’s true. I’ve also put a call in to Cross of the Reckless Bastards to get more information.”
“What does that mean? Move forward as if it’s true?” Terry asked in an even voice, meant to cool the Irish tempers in the room.
“It means we need to work with Ronan and The Crusaders to find Savannah, only we need to find her first and see what the old fuck’s willing to give up to get her back.”
At her words, my mind immediately went to Vanessa and Fiona, and all the other women those thugs could be after just to get at the Ashbys. They’d all be in danger, and Vanessa had no idea she had a target on her back just because of where she worked.
“She could be anywhere by now.” The words were out of my mouth before I thought better of speaking out loud.
“That’s why I’ve called you all here. We need to find Savannah. Yesterday. It’s more than important; it’s necessary.”
“You think Brendan has her?” Virgil’s question had the whole room falling silent. “The Black Jacks are a small outfit, but they’re trying to take over Reckless Bastards’ territory. Most of their money is in heroin, meth and sex, all of which are good ways to hide a woman. Brendan would know that.”
“Shit,” Kat growled. “Not even sure the Rhymer Princess deserves either of those fates.”
“She doesn’t. So keep your eyes and ears open. If any of you spot anyone that looks like her, could be her, I want to know.” Sadie ended her command with a frown. “Get Cal’s scrawny ass down here, now,” she growled at her right hand man. Thomas nodded and left the room.
“We have to find her first.”
“We need extra security on all the women,” Terry said, his gaze focused on my face. “Vanessa and Maureen included.” Maureen waited tables at Midnight Mass, but even if she wasn’t close to the action like Fiona, she needed protection.
Sadie took another drag off her cigarette and stubbed it out. “Of course. In addition to finding Savannah, we still have to figure out who killed poor Fiona. Any leads, Jas?”
“No,” he sighed and dropped down in his seat. “If Calvin isn’t gonna be a part of this family, I need to know right now. Without his help it’ll take us longer to find what we’re looking for.”
“I’ll deal with it,” Sadie assured him and the steel in her voice almost had me worried about Cal, who had taken his woman’s side in some unknown family battle. “Anything else?”
“Yeah.” Terry stood and looked around the table. So far, nobody had asked about the bruises on his face. Maybe they thought he’d gotten on the wrong side with Kat and weren’t saying anything out of respect.
“We’re all worried about the people in this organization,” he said. “I understand that. But the fewer people who know about Fiona, the better.” His gaze locked on mine again. “Right now, the only leverage we have is that no one is talking about it.”
“He’s right. Keep your mouths shut about Fiona,” Jasper ordered. “I’ll make sure everyone is safe.” He looked around the room. “Everyone.”
I knew they’d do their damnedest to keep everyone out of harm’s way, but Lance and Fiona were proof that it wasn’t always possible. Which meant that as much as I had tried to put Army life behind me, it was now time to call on my training to make sure Vanessa was safe.
At all times.
At any cost.
I made my way to the door, and Terry came up behind me. I felt his hand on my shoulder, a touch I’d recognize above any other.
I didn’t turn around; he didn’t ask me to. He said low in my ear, “Whatever that was last night, it’s over. We have work to do here. That’s what’s important. You don’t get that, people could get killed. You good?”
I paused for a long minute, then I nodded.
Terry tapped my shoulder. Like old times. Like last night never happened. Like what I needed didn’t matter.
Chapter Ten
Vanessa
Another day meant it was just about time for another shift with reckless rich people who loved high stakes gambling to take the stress off their otherwise, high pressure lives. Losing a crap ton of money would make me more stressed, not less, but the players and the games were growing on me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to rooms full of wealthy, reckless men I didn’t know—and worse, stacks of cash. More cash than I’d ever seen at one time.
It wasn’t something I’d ever get accustomed to, being a small town girl from the Midwest, but it was hard to think of them as movers and shakers when they spent most of the night talking smack and giving each other shit like teenage boys. The razzing made each shift fun and hon
estly, it made them all less intimidating, so the time flew by.
Most nights I found myself surprised when the end of my night rolled around. One of the guys would offer to walk me to my car, except for Evan. He still hadn’t warmed up to me. Maybe he never would if me working here meant I replaced Fiona, the girl who broke his heart. I understood—even if I hated it. I was quickly learning to shake off Evan’s dislike and Provo’s aloofness because those were their issues, not mine.
I had my own worries—too many to name—to bother myself over other people’s problems with me. My goal was to focus on the things I could do something about, which meant working hard to stop thinking of the future I lost when Lance died.
“Easy peasy, right?”
The woman staring back at me in my bathroom mirror with bright blue eyes, thought so anyway. The woman I called Nessa. Tonight, I’d decided to vamp it up in black leather pants and a flowing pink off the shoulder shirt, not for any reason in particular, just because I wanted to look a little different.
Feel a little different.
Be just a little bit different.
The truth was, I felt different. Earning my own money for once felt nice. Not that I ever minded Lance taking the role of provider, but it was nice to know that I wouldn’t flounder without him. I wouldn’t have to run back home and marry some preacher man my mother and father would approve of just to make ends meet. I actually was one of the “doggone independent women” my father used to rant about.
It felt good.
I felt good, and that put a big smile on my hot pink lips because it had been too damn long since I had a genuine smile on my face for more than a flash of a second. I miss you Lance, and I’ll never forget you, but I have to move on.
And I would.
Eventually.
But until that happened, I had to live my life as if I were moving on. I had to get up in the morning and do yoga to keep my mind right and kickboxing to keep my body right. I had to take a shower and get dressed and go through the motions of each day until I was no longer just going through the motions. I also had to get dolled up and go to work with a smile on my face, and I had to do it all as if my heart wasn’t breaking every second of every fucking day.