by Harlan Coben
“Breast enhancements. It’s false advertising. There should be a law.”
“Right, Win. But the politicians in Washington—where are they when it comes to the real issues?”
“Then you understand.”
“I understand that you’re a snorting pig.”
“A thousand pardons, O Enlightened One.” Win put a hand to his ear and tilted his head to the side. “Tell me again, Myron: What first attracted you to this Thrill?”
“The catsuit,” Myron said.
“I see. So if, say, Big Cyndi came into the office in the catsuit—”
“Hey, c’mon, I just ate a muffin.”
“Exactly.”
“Fine, I’m a pig too. Happy?”
“Yes, ecstatic. And perhaps you misread me. Perhaps I wish to outlaw such accessories because of what they do to a woman’s self-esteem. Perhaps I tire of a society that forces unobtainable beauty on a woman—size four dresses with D cups.”
“The key word here being perhaps.”
Win smiled. “Love me for all my faults.”
“What else is there?”
Win adjusted his tie. “FJ and the two oversized hormonal glands that guard him are at Starbucks. Shall we?”
“Let’s. Then I want to head over to Yankee Stadium. I need to question a couple of folks.”
“Sounds almost like a plan,” Win said.
They strolled up Park Avenue. The light changed, and they waited at the corner. Myron stood next to a man in a business suit talking on a cell phone. Nothing unusual about that, except the man was having phone sex. He was actually rubbing his, uh, nether parts and saying into the phone, “Yeah, baby, like that,” and other stuff not worth repeating. The light changed. The man crossed, still rubbing and talking. Talk about I Love New York.
“About tonight,” Win said.
“Yes.”
“You trust this Thrill?”
“She checks out.”
“There is of course a chance that they’ll just shoot you when you show up.”
“I doubt it. This Pat is part owner. He wouldn’t want the trouble in his own place.”
“So you think they’re extending this invitation to buy you a drink?”
“Could be,” Myron said. “With my preference-crossing animal magnetism, I’m considered something of a tasty morsel to the swinger set.”
Win chose not to argue.
They headed east on Forty-ninth Street. The Starbucks was four blocks up on the right. When they arrived, Win signaled for Myron to wait. He leaned in and took a quick peek through the glass before backing away. “Young FJ is at a table with someone,” Win reported. “Hans and Franz are two tables over. Only one other table is occupied.”
Myron nodded. “Shall we?”
“You first,” Win said. “Let me trail.”
Myron had stopped questioning Win’s methods a long time ago. He immediately stepped inside and headed toward FJ’s table. Hans and Franz, the Mr. Universe Bookends, were still wearing the tank tops and the semipajama pants smeared with a pattern that resembled melted paisley. They bolted upright when Myron entered, fingers tightened into fists, necks in midcrack.
FJ was decked out in a light herringbone sports coat, collared shirt buttoned all the way to the top, cuffed pants, and Cole-Haan tasseled loafers. Too natty for words. He spotted Myron and raised his hand in the bruisers’ direction. Hans and Franz froze.
“Hi, FJ,” Myron said.
FJ was sipping something foamy; it kinda looked like shaving cream. “Ah, Myron,” he said with what he must have been sure was savoir faire. He gestured at his table companion. His companion got up without a word and scooted toward the exit like a scared gerbil. “Please, Myron, join me. This is such a strange coincidence.”
“Oh?”
“You saved me a trip. I was just going to pay you a visit.” FJ tossed Myron the snake smile. Myron let it land on the floor and watched it slither away. “I guess it’s kismet, huh, Myron? Your coming here. Pure kismet.”
FJ cracked up at that. Hans and Franz laughed too.
“Kismet,” Myron repeated. “Good one.”
FJ waved a modest hand as if to say, I got a million like that. “Please sit, Myron.”
Myron pulled out a chair.
“Care for a drink?”
“An iced latte would be fine. Grande, skim, with a dash of vanilla.”
FJ motioned to the guy working behind the coffee bar.
“He’s new,” FJ confided.
“Who?”
“The guy working the espresso machine. The last guy who worked here made a wonderful latte. But he quit for moral reasons.”
“Moral reasons?”
“They started selling Kenny G CDs,” FJ said. “Suddenly he couldn’t sleep at night. It was tearing him apart. Suppose an impressionable kid bought one? How could he live with himself? Pushing caffeine was okay. But Kenny G … the man had scruples.”
Myron said, “Commendable.”
Win chose that moment to enter. FJ spotted him and looked over at Hans and Franz. Win did not hesitate. He beelined straight toward FJ’s table. Hans and Franz went to work. They stepped in Win’s path and expanded their chests to dimensions large enough to apply for a parking permit. Win kept walking. Both men wore turtlenecks so high and loose they looked like something awaiting circumcision.
Hans managed a smirk. “You Win?”
“Yes,” Win said, “me Win.”
“You don’t look so tough.” Hans looked at Franz.
“He look tough to you, Keith?”
Keith said, “Not so tough.”
Win did not break stride. Almost casually and without the slightest warning, he struck Hans with the knife-edge of his hand behind the ear. Hans’s whole body stiffened and then collapsed as though someone had ripped the skeleton out of him. Franz gaped at the sight. But not for long. In the same motion Win pirouetted and struck Franz in the oft vulnerable throat. An awful gurgling noise shot out of Franz’s lips, as though he were choking on a slew of small bones. Win reached for the carotid artery, found it, and squeezed with his pointer and thumb. Franz’s eyes closed, and he too slid into Nighty-Night Land.
The couple at the other table exited quickly. Win smiled down at the unconscious bruisers. Then he glanced at Myron. Myron shook his head. Win shrugged and turned to the guy manning the coffee bar.
“Barista,” Win said. “One caffe mocha.”
“What size?”
“Grande, please.”
“Skim or whole milk?”
“Skim. I’m watching my figure.”
“Right away.”
Win joined Myron and FJ. He sat and crossed his legs.
“Nice sports coat, FJ.”
“Glad you like it, Win.”
“It really brings out the demonic red in your eyes.”
“Thank you.”
“So where were we?”
Myron played along. “I was just about to tell FJ that I’m getting a little tired of the tail.”
“And I was just about to tell Myron that I’m getting tired of him meddling in my affairs,” FJ said.
Myron looked at Win. “Meddling? Does anybody really use that word anymore?”
Win thought about it. “The old man at the end of every Scooby Doo.”
“Right. You meddling kids, stuff like that.”
“You will never guess who does the voice for Shaggy,” Win said.
“Who?”
“Casey Kasem.”
“Get out,” Myron said. “The top-forty radio guy?”
“The very same.”
“Live and learn.”
On the floor Hans and Franz started to stir. Win showed FJ the gun he had semihidden in his one hand. “For the safety of all concerned,” Win said, “please ask your employees to refrain from moving.”
FJ told them. He was not scared. His father was Frank Ache. That was protection enough. The muscles here were for show.
“You’ve been following me for wee
ks now,” Myron said. “I want it to end.”
“Then I suggest that you stop interfering with my company.”
Myron sighed. “Fine, FJ, I’ll bite. How am I interfering with your company?”
“Did you or did you not visit Sophie and Jared Mayor this morning?” FJ asked.
“You know I did.”
“For what purpose?”
“It had nothing to do with you, FJ.”
“Wrong answer.”
“Wrong answer?”
“You visited the owner of the New York Yankees even though you currently represent no one who plays for the team.”
“So?”
“So why were you there?”
Myron looked at Win. Win shrugged. “Not that I need to explain myself to you, FJ, but just to assuage your paranoid delusions, I was there about Clu Haid.”
“What about him?”
“I was asking about his drug tests.”
FJ’s eyes narrowed. “That’s interesting.”
“Glad you think so, FJ.”
“You see, I’m just a new guy trying to learn this confusing business.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m young and inexperienced.”
Win said, “Ah, how often I’ve heard that line.”
Myron just shook his head.
FJ leaned forward, his scaly features coming closer. Myron feared his tongue would dart out and sniff him. “I want to learn, Myron. So please tell me: What possible significance could Clu’s drug test results have now?”
Myron quickly debated answering and decided, What’s the harm? “If I can show the drug test was faulty, his contract would still be active.”
FJ nodded, seeing the thought trail now. “You’d be able to get his contract paid out.”
“Right.”
“Do you have reason to believe that the test was faulty?”
“I’m afraid that’s confidential, FJ. Agent-client privilege or whatever you want to call it. I’m sure you understand.”
“I do,” FJ said.
“Good.”
“But you, Myron, are not his agent.”
“I am still responsible for his estate’s financial well-being. Clu’s death doesn’t alter my obligation.”
“Wrong answer.”
Myron looked at Win. “Again with the wrong answer?”
“You are not responsible.” FJ reached to the floor and pulled a briefcase into view. He snapped it open with as much flair as possible. His finger danced through a stack of papers before withdrawing the one he sought. He handed it to Myron and smiled. Myron looked into FJ’s eyes, and again he was reminded of the eyes of that mounted deer.
Myron skimmed it over. He read the first line, felt a thump, checked the signature. “What the hell is this?”
FJ’s smile was like a dripping candle now. “Exactly what it looks like. Clu Haid changed representation. He fired MB SportsReps and hired TruPro.”
He remembered what Sophie Mayor had said in her office, about his having no legal standing. “He never told us.”
“Never told us, Myron, or never told you?”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You weren’t around. Perhaps he tried to tell you. Perhaps he told your associate.”
“So he just happened by you, FJ?”
“How I recruit is none of your business. If you kept your clients happy, the best recruitment efforts wouldn’t work.”
Myron checked the date. “This is quite a coincidence, FJ.”
“What’s that?”
“He dies two days after he signs with you.”
“Yes, Myron, I agree. I don’t think it was a coincidence. Fortunately for me, it means that I had no motive to kill him. Unfortunately for the sizzling Esperanza, the opposite is true.”
Myron glanced over at Win. Win was staring down at Hans and Franz. They were both awake now, face to the floor, hands behind their heads. Customers occasionally came into the coffee bar. Some saw the two men on the floor and exited right away. Others were unfazed, walking past as though Hans and Franz were just two more Manhattan panhandlers.
“Very convenient,” Myron said.
“What’s that?”
“Clu signing with you so close to his death. On the surface it eliminates you as a serious suspect.”
“On the surface?”
“It draws attention away from you, makes it look like his death hurts your interests.”
“It does hurt my interests.”
Myron shook his head. “He had failed a drug test. His contract was null and void. He’s thirty-five years old with several suspensions. As a monetary commodity Clu was fairly worthless.”
“Clu had overcome adversity before,” FJ said.
“Not like this. He was through.”
“If he stayed with MB, yes, that’s probably true. But TruPro has influence. We would have found a way to relaunch his career.”
Doubtful. But all this raised some interesting questions. The signature looked real, the contract legit. So maybe Clu had left him. Why? Well, lots of reasons. His life was being flushed down the toilet while Myron lollygagged in the sands of the Caribbean. Okay, but why TruPro? Clu knew their reputation. He knew what the Aches were all about. Why would he choose them?
Unless he had to.
Unless Clu was in debt to them. Myron remembered the missing two hundred thousand dollars. Could Clu have been in debt to FJ? Had he gotten in too deep—so deep he had to sign with TruPro? But if that was the case, why not take out more money? He still had more in the account.
No, maybe this was far simpler. Maybe Clu got himself in big trouble. He looked to Myron for help. Myron wasn’t there. Clu felt abandoned. He had no one. In desperation he turned to his old friend Billy Lee Palms. But Billy Lee was too messed up to help anyone. He looked again for Myron. But Myron was still gone, possibly avoiding him. Clu was weak and alone, and FJ was there with promises and power.
So maybe Clu didn’t have an affair with Esperanza after all. Maybe Clu told her he was leaving the agency and she got upset and then he got upset. Maybe Clu gave her a good-bye smack in that garage.
Hmm.
But there were problems with that scenario too. If there was no affair, how do you explain Esperanza’s hairs at the crime scene? How do you explain the blood in the car, the gun in the office, and Esperanza’s continued silence?
FJ was still smiling.
“Let’s cut to it,” Myron said. “How do I get you off my back?”
“Stay away from my clients.”
“The same way you stayed away from mine?”
“Tell you what, Myron.” FJ sipped more shaving cream. “If I desert my clients for six weeks, I give you carte blanche to pursue them with as much gusto as you can muster.”
Myron looked at Win. No solace. Scary as it might sound. FJ had a point.
“Esperanza has been indicted for Clu’s murder,” Myron said. “I’m involved until she’s cleared. Outside of that, I’ll stay out of your business. And you stay out of mine.”
“Suppose she’s not cleared,” FJ said.
“What?”
“Have you considered the possibility that Esperanza did indeed kill him?”
“You know something I don’t, FJ?”
FJ put his hand to his chest. “Me?” The most innocent lamb ever to lie next to a lion. “What would I know?” He finished his coffee whatever and stood. He looked down at his goons, then at Win. Win nodded. FJ told Hans and Franz to get up. They did. FJ ordered them out the door. They went out, heads high, chests out, eyes up, but still looking like a pair of whipped dogs.
“If you find anything that might help me get Clu’s contract reinstated, you’ll let me know?”
“Yeah,” Myron said. “I’ll let you know.”
“Great. Then let’s stay in touch, Myron.”
“Oh,” Myron said. “Let’s.”
CHAPTER
22
They took the subway to Yankee Stad
ium. The 4 train was fairly empty this time of the day. After they found seats, Myron asked, “Why did you beat up those two muscleheads?”
“You know why,” Win said.
“Because they challenged you?”
“I hardly call what they mustered a challenge.”
“So why did you beat them up?”
“Because it was simple.”
“What?”
Win hated repeating himself.
“You overreacted,” Myron said. “As usual.”
“No, Myron, I reacted perfectly.”
“Meaning?”
“I have a reputation, do I not?”
“As a violent psycho, yes.”
“Exactly—a reputation that I’ve culled and created through what you call overreacting. You trade off that reputation sometimes, do you not?”
“I guess I do.”
“It helps us?”
“I guess so.”
“Guess nothing,” Win said. “Friends and foes believe I snap too easily—overreact, as you put it. That I’m unstable, out of control. But that’s nonsense, of course. I’m never out of control. Just the opposite. Every attack has been well thought out. The pros and cons have been weighed.”
“And in this case, the pros won?”
“Yes.”
“So you knew you were going to beat up those two before we entered?”
“I considered it. Once I realized that they were unarmed and that taking them out would be easy, I made the final decision.”
“Just to enhance your reputation?”
“In a word, yes. My reputation keeps us safe. Why do you think FJ was ordered by his father not to kill you?”
“Because I’m a ray of sunshine? Because I make the world a better place for all?”
Win smiled. “Then you understand.”
“Does it bother you at all, Win?”
“Does what?”
“Attacking someone like that.”
“They’re goons, Myron, not nuns.”
“Still. You just walloped them without provocation.”
“Oh, I see. You don’t like the fact that I sucker-punched them. You would have preferred a fairer fight?”
“I guess not. But suppose you miscalculated?”
“Highly unlikely.”
“Suppose one of them was better than you thought and didn’t go down so easily. Suppose you had to maim or kill one.”
“They’re goons, Myron, not nuns.”