by Pran Kishore
Ghulam Qadir was dumbstruck; he could not say more than ‘I love you.’
Reeny gave him a sour smile and went out of the room.
Ghulam Qadir felt that his whole being had frozen. He did not know how he would face his family. He could not make out how he would persuade Zeb and Bilal to come to Goa. If Ghulam Ahmed had disclosed his secret, Qadir would not even be allowed to cross the threshold of his house. The thought made him shudder. He stood up abruptly. Ghulam Ahmed opened the door and came in. Qadir felt his presence as a glimmer of some hope. He made his elder brother sit near him and said, ‘Have you completed your preparations?’
‘But tell me why you are still so slow? It will get late.’
‘Sit for a while, it won’t take us more than half an hour to reach the airport.’
Ghulam Ahmed said, ‘Okay, tell me what you want to say.’
‘What can I say to you?’ Ghulam Qadir heaved a sigh.
‘Tell me frankly, what is wrong with you? You don’t seem to be happy about going home.’
‘What do you mean? I wish I could rip my chest apart to show you how restless my heart is to have the bliss of being under the soothing shade of Abba and Amma again. There is just one woe—’
‘How will you tell them about your second marriage here, isn’t it?’ Ghulam Ahmed interrupted. Ghulam Qadir had no answer. ‘Leave that to me,’ Ahmed said.
But Ghulam Qadir was sharp enough to have understood his brother’s ambitions during his stay in Goa. He hadn’t changed. He had the same impetuosity, the same crookedness. He said to him, ‘No, you don’t say anything to anyone there. I will wait for the right time to tell them.’
‘Yes, that would be proper.’ Ghulam Ahmed was happy that he was saved from getting tangled in the situation. He wished to reach Srinagar in one dash and tell his father-in-law that he was no longer a worthless fellow; he had a big showroom in a grand hotel. He told Ghulam Qadir, ‘Now stand up. Our Dastagir will help us out. Come on now.’
Reeny went to the airport to see them off. Before they proceeded towards the plane, Reeny took Ghulam Qadir aside and said to him, ‘When you reach your homeland, don’t forget that there is someone waiting for you here in Goa. I will be counting every second, keeping the lamp of hope lit, to see you back soon.’
Qadir moved closer to her, but Reeny turned to Ghulam Ahmed who was eagerly waiting for Qadir to come along.
Boarding was announced again and Ghulam Ahmed, carrying Ghulam Qadir’s bag, ushered him inside. ‘Come now. All the passengers are already seated in the plane.’
Ghulam Qadir looked back at Reeny. Her eyes were fixed on him.
Noor Mohammad and his son Doctor Nisar were already at Srinagar airport to receive them. Abdul Razaq was also on duty there, but he had taken leave for the day so that Ghulam Qadir wouldn’t feel that he was there to browbeat him as a police officer. Narayan Joo also wanted to accompany Noor Mohammad to the airport, but Malla Khaliq held him back, saying, ‘Is he someone superior to you that you should go garland him? If you had not got him released from the police station, he would have been languishing behind bars till date.’
Ghulam Qadir was a changed man. He wore very simple clothes so that his people wouldn’t think he was being a show-off. Noor Mohammad forgot all his rancour and held him in a tight embrace. Both brothers wept like children. Doctor Nisar looked around and saw people watching them. He drew them aside. ‘No more, Papa, no more crying now. Let us sit for a while.’
Ghulam Ahmed had gone to collect their baggage. He came pushing the trolley. ‘Let’s move now. Everyone must be eagerly waiting at home.’
Noor Mohammad wiped his tears, stood up, and asked Ghulam Ahmed, ‘Did you get everything?’
‘I carried nothing, except this worn-out trunk. The two big attachés belong to Ghulam Qadir. Did you carry anything else, Ghulam Qadir?’
‘Nothing more.’
‘So you take the baggage out and I will get the car.’
Abdullah Shah’s employees spread the news in the whole of Dalgate that Malla Khaliq’s son Ghulam Qadir was now a wealthy hotelier in Goa. Even the boatmen knew that he was returning. They thronged to the ghat to see him. All of them knew him. Many of the younger ones were Qadir’s childhood playmates. Everyone imagined what he would look like now. Seeing these folks sitting idly at the ghat, Sula Tancha rebuked them, ‘You idlers, get to work. The people in your home might be waiting for a little rice to cook their meals.’
‘You come here and see how he looks. Wearing an Arabian dress, he will look like the hero of the Arabian Nights,’ a young boatman gave a repartee to Tancha.
‘Yes, I know him. I remember all about him – he would not spare even one egg in my pen.’
‘Come, come, I know that limping hen of yours always brooded,’ the young boatman teased.
Sula Tancha would have chased him, if a boatman had not yelled – ‘There comes Doctor Sahib’s car!’
Hearing this, everyone stood up and jostled against one another to reach the steps of the ghat and wait for the car.
The excitement of seeing Ghulam Qadir petered out when the boatmen and their children saw him in a simple shirt and trousers. They were all the more disappointed when Ghulam Qadir met and hugged them one by one.
Malla Khaliq’s old employee Subhan was waiting in his shikaarah at the ghat to carry them across.
Ghulam Qadir climbed down the steps to embrace him. Subhana was about to come out from his boat to welcome him, but Qadir said, ‘Be careful, Subhan Chacha, you might slip.’ But Subhana dashed out and held him to his chest. ‘Are you well, Chacha? Are all your children well?’
‘Now that you are back, the eclipse is over,’ the boatman replied.
In the meantime, Ghulam Ahmed and Doctor Nisar put the baggage in the shikaarah. Ghulam Ahmed said to Subhana, ‘It is enough for now. You may express your love later at home.’
Subhana turned towards the houseboats. When they left, the boatmen in the crowd started gossiping about Qadir. Seeing Qadir’s demeanour, they could not believe that he was now a big hotelier. Sula Tancha, in particular, refused to believe it because Qadir had not met him even after seeing him there. ‘Why are you adamant to make your throats soar? Maybe he has a small eatery somewhere, and has come here to show off.’
A vendor who was in the bevy heard him and said, in order to silence him, ‘Tancha, you are greying now, and yet you do not give up your envy.’ All the boatmen guffawed when Sula Tancha could not even utter a word in response.
Everyone except Malla Khaliq, Bilal, Zeb and Aziz Dyad were standing at the isle waiting to receive Ghulam Qadir. The moment Subhana fastened the boat to the bank, Parveen ran down the steps barefoot. Ghulam Qadir jumped out of the boat and hugged his sister. Mukhta said, almost shouting, ‘Come, come! He kept us waiting till we lost our eyesight, and now he is here to show off his love.’
This made Ghulam Qadir realize his guilt. He let Parveen go and ascended the steps of the ghat. Zoon advanced towards him and said, ‘Don’t be dismayed. This sister-in-law of yours has tied so many votive cloths for your safe return.’ Ghulam Qadir went and held Mukhta’s hands in his, kissed them and said falteringly, ‘Bhabi, please forgive me for I have sinned against all of you.’ Mukhta could no longer hold herself back and she wept aloud. ‘Do not shed your tears for this worthless fellow,’ he said to her.
Noor Mohammad and Ghulam Ahmed came near them. Noor Mohammad said to his wife, ‘Are you going to settle all your grudges here in the open? Let’s go inside; Amma is waiting for him.’
‘Where is Abba?’
‘He is in the drawing room in Gul. Amma is also there.’
Doctor Nisar asked Subhan to take the two big attachés to Ghulam Qadir’s room, and the third one to Ghulam Ahmed’s. Then he went to houseboat Gul.
The atmosphere in the houseboat was grim. Ghulam Qadir sat holding his father’s feet, and Malla Khaliq sat motionless with his eyes closed. Aziz Dyad did not have the courage to break the silence. Fi
nally Narayan Joo sat beside Malla Khaliq. Keeping his hand on his shoulder, he said to him, ‘How long will you remain silent? God pardons even the most heinous crimes when the sinner repents.’ But Malla Khaliq was unmoved. Aziz Dyad scolded him, ‘Open your eyes and see how all of us here are begging for your pardon on his behalf.’
‘Abba, if you don’t want to absolve my sins I will go back right now,’ Ghulam Qadir said.
Tears trickled out through Malla Khaliq’s closed eyes. Using a corner of her headcloth, Aziz Dyad wiped the tears from his face, and said, ‘This is quite childish of you.’
‘Let him lighten his heart,’ Narayan Joo said. Ghulam Qadir could not stop himself and he embraced his father and started crying. Finally Malla Khaliq, after all a father, touched Ghulam Qadir’s back and addressed Narayan Joo, in his typical English, ‘See the return of the prodigal son.’
‘The prodigal son had returned after losing everything and failing in every game of life, but this one has returned after winning and making an honest man of himself. Now let us all get ready, and go get the blessing of Dastagir Sahib. I also tied a votive thread at the Devi’s shrine. I will go untie it.’
‘Lala Sahib, it is already very late today, we will go there tomorrow before dawn,’ Noor Mohammad suggested.
When the ice had been broken, the festivities started. The news spread among all the neighbours, and all of them thronged on the isle. Everyone congratulated Malla Khaliq and Aziz Dyad and shook hands with Ghulam Qadir. Many rejoiced in his success, but many more were consumed by an unexpressed jealousy, yet they feigned joy and took part in the celebrations.
Amidst all this, no one remembered Zeb and Bilal, who were in their room, away from all the festivities. Bilal was enraged and said to his mother, ‘If you are keen to go, you can go see him. I will never go to his house; never shall I leave my Abba and my Ammi.’ Zeb crouched in a corner of the room and vented all her anger. ‘Why are you driving me crazy? He has yet to ask us to go back with him.’
‘This has been the only subject of discussion here in the house for the last few days. I have told Abba that I will never go with him.’
‘And what did he say?’
‘He smiled and then cried. He will also miss me if I go along with him – that owner of a hotel.’
‘No, this does not suit you; he is after all your father.’
‘I don’t consider him my father and I have no qualms in admitting this to everyone.’ Having said this, Bilal was about to go out, but Zeb closed the door and made him sit. ‘All of Gagribal has assembled there. What will they say?’
Bilal sat down again but his anger was not abated. He started pulling out hairs from the felt mat.
‘What did that mat do to you? If you want to pull out somebody’s hair, pull out mine.’
Bilal stopped. He nestled close to his mother and said, ‘Don’t say that, Mummy.’
The two would have remained in the room for much longer, but Parveen came looking for them.
‘What are you doing here? Come out. Abba wants you there.’ She switched the light on.
‘Where is Abba?’
‘He is in Gul. Now come out, because everyone has left and only our family remains.’
‘No, I am not going there. Take Mummy.’ Bilal sulked and went to the inner room.
‘He will follow you, just come out.’
Parveen went to the door of the inner room and said to Bilal, ‘Come out and see pictures of your Papa’s hotel.’
‘Didn’t I tell you I am not coming?’
After much persuasion, Parveen made Zeb change her phiran. With her head lowered, she shyly followed Parveen to houseboat Gul.
There in the drawing room Ghulam Ahmed had set up a full exhibition of advertisement posters and post cards of Hotel Sea Waves. Like a typical salesman, he went on praising every aspect of the hotel. The moment Parveen led Zeb in, the air in the room froze again. Aziz Dyad stood up and made Zeb sit beside her. Ghulam Qadir was drenched in sweat. He could not even raise his eyes to look at her. Ghulam Ahmed perceived there was too much tension in the air. He turned to his wife and said, ‘See the gorgeous showroom Ghulam Qadir has allotted to us in his hotel. You go and show it to your father who never considers anyone his peer.’
Malla Khaliq got irritated and said to him, ‘Now keep this office closed for some time. Let us talk first and then you can show off your cleverness.’
Ghulam Ahmed was struck mute and he hastily collected the photographs.
‘Where is Bilal?’ Malla Khaliq asked.
‘He must be here somewhere,’ Parveen replied on behalf of Zeb.
Aziz Dyad naively said, ‘He has been keeping to himself for the last few days, I don’t know why.’
Noor Mohammad tactfully said, ‘He had to complete so much school work. Should he constantly sit in your lap?’
Malla Khaliq cast a glance at Zeb who sat limply behind Aziz Dyad looking down. ‘My dear daughter, all of us have forgiven him, not because he is now a wealthy person, but because he has sought absolution for all his sins and has returned to the right path. You too may forgive him now. God says that if a wrongdoer finally returns to the righteous path and entreats for forgiveness, he should be forgiven. I can only advise this for the sake of your happiness.’
‘Do you think she needs to be told all this? She is such a wise girl after all. Do not worry, my daughter, by Dastagir’s grace, our withered garden is in bloom again. Now get up, it is already late. We will have dinner together, as a family. Or should I send you your plates here?’
‘No, Amma. Let us eat together, just as we did in the old days,’ Ghulam Qadir said, with an extra stress on ‘together’ so that everyone felt that he was one them again.
Malla Khaliq said to Parveen, ‘What time will Abdul Razaq get here?’
‘Abba, he had to leave for Handawara for something urgent.’
‘That is why he was not at the airport. Ama Lala had told me that his duty is at the airport, and I wished to see him there. I am keen to see how nice he looks in a police officer’s uniform,’ Ghulam Qadir said, looking affectionately at Parveen.
Aziz Dyad said, ‘He looks just like a hero, a real hero.’
‘When is he to return from Handawara? I owe many apologies to him as well. I have never talked to him in a friendly manner.’
‘Now you may make it up to him by inviting him to Goa.’
‘Why should he travel so far? I will do all I can here in Srinagar; you just watch.’
Enjoying this warm conversation, they moved over to the living room. While walking over, Ghulam Qadir once, just once, dared to raise his eyes towards Zeb. Zeb hurriedly walked ahead of them to the kitchen. All of them sat in the living room to have dinner as they used to in the good old days.
There was a casual reference to Doctor Nisar’s marriage. The father of the bride had told them that the couple would stay in Kashmir and not go to Dubai.
Malla Khaliq was reassured that his family would not disintegrate now. Ghulam Qadir was consciously labouring to talk as genially as he had in the earlier days, but whenever he glanced at Zeb, he stammered and lost his nerve.
Noor Mohammad had succeeded in persuading Bilal to come out to have dinner with the family. Sitting beside Malla Khaliq, he sat quietly, having his food. Seeing Bilal’s cold detachment, Qadir could not find the courage to talk to his son. Aziz Dyad wished that he had sat beside his father, but Malla Khaliq cued her to be quiet. He knew how angry Bilal was with his father. Bilal hurriedly finished his food and left the room.
Among all of them Zeb was most anxious about Bilal. She knew well that Bilal was not like other boys his age, to get mollified with candies and toys. She went after Bilal to her room, but he had already taken his bag of books and tiptoed to his grandfather’s room. Zeb looked at Ghulam Qadir’s attachés and she shivered. The presence of those attachés there indicated that he would soon come to her room to sleep.
Zeb had lost all her nerve since she heard about his life
in Goa. On the one hand she was very happy that he was finally settled and successful, but on the other hand, all her old bruises had starting aching afresh. When Ghulam Ahmed had phoned that he was coming along with Ghulam Qadir, the old wounds had started bleeding again. Then the terrifying thought that her love who had deserted her would come and lay claim her again, sent tremors up her spine. ‘Oh my God! A fresh ordeal!’ she whispered.
She heard Ghulam Ahmed and Noor Mohammad outside the room. Noor Mohammad was urging Ghulam Qadir to enter his room, and Ghulam Ahmed boosted his courage.
‘Noor Sahib, he has come here to take Zeb and Bilal along, why should he hesitate to enter his own room?’
‘Houseboat Gul is empty, I will sleep there for the night and see what can be done tomorrow,’ Ghulam Qadir insisted.
Noor Mohammad roared at him, ‘What nonsense do you talk? If Abba comes to know about it, he will never forgive you.’
‘But … but I don’t know how to face my wife.’
‘Go ahead, enter the room and you will find the nerve. Poor Zeb must be in a vortex of anxiety right now. You go in and save her, and make her have faith in you once again.’
Ghulam Ahmed shoved the door ajar with his foot. Ghulam Qadir saw Zeb glued to the wall. He also stood still like a statue at the door. Both his brothers went to their rooms. He had no option but to walk in. He calmly shut the door, and languidly walked in and sat down on the floor. Zeb quivered, even more than she had on her nuptial night. As if some stranger had broken into her room.
Outside, the wind was blowing through the thicket of willows. Apart from that all was still and silent. This quiet frightened her all the more. Every second seemed as heavy as a rock pressing upon her. Ghulam Qadir also groped for words in vacuum for some way to open the conversation. When he did not utter a word, Zeb stood up and was about to go away to the inner chamber. But Ghulam Qadir held her hand. He slowly pulled her down and made her sit beside him. ‘Even if I get as many as ten rebirths to beg for forgiveness, I will still be short of time.’