by Sara Summers
“I don’t know.” I admitted. “He’s in love with an idea of me, I can’t imagine him coming back to the real, imperfect me.”
“He worked on the museum with you for almost a month. If that’s not love, what is?”
“I don’t know. Poems and dancing?” I said, weakly. Bree shook her head at me.
“You guys were building a real relationship and actual, lasting love. You were experiencing things together and struggling and building things. Grant might not realize that now, but he will eventually.” She was still so sure.
“I don’t want to talk about my messed-up love life any more. I’m going to get back to painting.” I said, looking back down at my masterpiece and brushes and paints.
“Kennedy.” Bree put her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t give up on him.” She said, practically pleading with me.
“I can’t do this right now.” I looked away from my friend. “I really just need a break from everything.” I looked pointedly down at my canvas, which was my break.
“Alright.” Bree stood up, holding Emma to her hip. “Love you.” She said, repeating the words that the shifty girls always said to each other before leaving.
I suddenly missed the girls, too, and the simplicity of life during high school.
“Love you.” I replied, my words soft.
Bree went back to her room, leaving me to my painting and my thoughts. After she was gone, the words hung on my lips.
“Love you.” I mouthed them, my mind racing to figure out why they’d stuck out to me so much.
“What if I’m wrong about love?” I whispered, dropping my paintbrush again and sitting up straight. I thought back to my friends, the group of shifty girls who meant the world to me. I thought back to my parents and my brothers, to their kids.
I loved all of those people, didn’t I? We didn’t write each other poems or go dancing together or do anything romantic—that would be weird—but didn’t we love each other?
I stared at the wall, wondering how I could’ve missed that through my whole life. How had I not realized the truth about love?
Love wasn’t poems and dancing and beautiful words. Love was building a museum for someone because that was their dream, love was pulling their foot out of a broken wooden stair. Love was believing in someone and coloring with them and helping them reach their dreams.
Grant was good at love—great at it, even.
I was the one who did it wrong, and I had to fix that.
It couldn’t wait.
“I’m leaving!” I yelled to Bree, booking it out the door. “Be back soon!” I called out.
I ran all the way to the ocean, yanking my clothes off and diving into the water before my human skin had time to realize how freezing it was. I swam as fast as I could to the town Grant’s parents lived in.
I had to fix this.
Chapter 22
I climbed out of the water, shifting when my feet were the only part of me that was submerged.
“Brr.” I shivered, running up to the bush that had clothes behind it last time I was there. I looked down at the sand, and found one thing.
Sweats.
“Well that’s not going to be enough.” I muttered, glancing back at the ocean. I could really use some mermaid magic about then. Walking down Main Street, topless? Yeah, not an option.
I looked around for a clothesline—there definitely would’ve been a clothesline if my life was a movie. It would have clothes on it that were exactly my size, too.
“Eff.” I muttered. It was freezing, my hair was dripping everywhere, and I was standing on the beach wearing absolutely nothing.
“Hey, over here!” I heard someone call out. I could hear their feet moving, so I knew they were getting close.
Yanking the sweats on to at least cover half of myself, I ducked down low. There weren’t any lights on the beach, so I hoped they wouldn’t notice me. If they did, I hoped they wouldn’t ask any questions.
They ran past my hiding bush, carrying flashlights and cheering and kicking a soccer ball down the beach. I breathed out when they were gone. Thank goodness they hadn’t seen me.
“Think.” I whispered to myself, looking around. Grant had made it sound like he was part of an otter pack—really, every otter shifter was part of a pack, we just weren’t serious about it the way wolves or lions or grizzlies were.
But if he was part of a pack, that meant there were other otters shifting from this same beach.
And that meant there would be spare clothes hidden somewhere.
With one arm wrapped around my chest, I searched the beach. Luckily, no one else showed up as I searched.
It took probably ten minutes but I managed to find a t-shirt, finally. It was massive but it worked.
With the t-shirt and sweats covering me up, I was set to go. It might not have been cute, but it was functional.
I hurried down Main Street, going right back to Grant’s parents’ house.
On my way, I ran right into another woman.
“I am so sorry.” I gasped, grabbing her arms to keep her upright. I recognized her immediately. She was Miriam, Grant’s ex-girlfriend, the one who he said had kissed him.
“It was my fault.” Her eyes widened as she recognized me.
She was apparently out running, wearing workout clothes. It was around 5 AM as far as I could guess, so I had to wonder why she was up so early.
“You…” I stepped back. “Grant is my soulmate, and I’m going to fight for him.” I folded my arms.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” I saw tears in her eyes. “I haven’t slept well since it happened. I shouldn’t have kissed him, I shouldn’t have cornered him. He just looked upset, and I missed him.” She whispered. “He’s the other half of your soul. I made him cheat on you.”
“It’s alright.” I gave her a tight smile. Was I okay with her kissing my soulmate? Eff, no. He was mine, whether we were together at the moment or not. Eff the contract he had signed, Grant was mine. “I forgive you.”
“Thank you.” She nodded, though she still looked shaken.
I nodded and hurried past her, headed toward his house once again.
I got there a few minutes later, then realized my mistake. It was 5 AM; Grant wasn’t awake.
Frowning, I gazed at the house, looking for any sign of life.
And…
Nope, nothing.
I was about to just sit on the ground and wait for morning to come, when the garage door began opening.
“Hello?” I called out, hurrying up to the open-garage.
“Yes?” A middle-aged man leaned his head out through the window in his truck.
“Hi, um, my name’s Kennedy. Sorry to bother you, but…” I trailed off as the man got out of his car. He stepped closer to me, and I started feeling a little uneasy. “You might not know me, but…”
The man threw his arms around me, wrapping me in a massive hug. It was weird, being hugged by a middle-aged man I had never seen before, but I tried not to let it bother me too much.
“We’ve been hoping you’d come talk some sense into him.” The man stepped away, grinning massively through his beard. “Grant hasn’t been the same since he came back here.”
“You must be his dad.” I smiled, understanding the reason for the hug. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It sure is.” He grinned. “Grant’s room is upstairs to the right. Go on in, sweetie. Good luck.” He said.
“Thanks.” I smiled and headed into the house. I heard Grant’s dad leave and the garage door close as I climbed up the stairs.
My heart fluttered a bit when I reached the door to his room.
I closed my eyes.
Should I knock? Should I walk right in?
I threw caution to the wind, opening the door and going right into his room. He was my soulmate, and we had shared a bed for a month. If he wasn’t comfortable with me in his room, something was wrong.
Then again, I already knew that was true.
We had plenty of work to do, just on our relationship.
I didn’t even want to think about the museum.
Grant was lying on his bed, wide awake. He turned when I came in, watching me close the door behind me.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice a husky whisper.
“I needed to talk to you.” I stood just in front of the door, shaking a little from the cold and a little from anxiety.
“Alright.” Grant sat up, dropping his feet to the floor. “What do you want to say?” he didn’t look thrilled.
“Um,” I bit my lip. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at love. I realized that I’m clueless when it comes to relationships, and I messed up. I wasn’t good to you like you were to me, I didn’t try hard enough, and I expected you to become the man I had always envisioned rather than just being yourself.
“I know that you’re not a poet, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be. I’m the one who needs to change.” I urged. “I want you to come back to the museum with me. I want us to be together and work together and have fun together again. We can make it work if you just come back with me.”
It didn’t sound very well-planned or well-written, but it wasn’t. It was messy, human, love and desperation, and it all came from my heart.
“I don’t think we should make it work right now.” Grant shook his head. “You’re not willing to give up the museum, and I’m not ready to give up my life. We’re not ready to be together, that’s the sad but honest truth. I wish I could say something else, but that’s it. That’s all I have.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
I blinked at him.
This didn’t happen in the movies. The was no such thing as an un-happily-ever-after. We were supposed to be soulmates, everything was supposed to work out between us. So why didn’t Grant agree? Why didn’t he want what I wanted?
“But we’re soulmates.” My voice shook.
“We’re not ready.” Grant tried to be gentle, but his words broke my heart.
“We can make it work.” I curled my hands into fists. “We have to try.”
“We did, remember?” Grant whispered. I didn’t have an argument for that, didn’t have anything to counter with. “For an entire month. We’re not ready to be together.”
“But—“
“It’s time for you to go.” He stood up and pushed me to the door. “Goodbye, Kennedy.”
I could hear it in his voice—the permanence. We were done, no matter what I said to try to fix it. Grant had decided that we weren’t ready to be together and he wouldn’t take anything I had to say to heart.
He made up his mind, and we were stuck.
With my eyes and face and body quivering, I sprinted back to the beach. I threw my clothes that weren’t my clothes behind the bush, and raced into the icy water.
At least if I froze, I thought, it might stop my heart from shattering for a few extra minutes.
I swam back in otter form, afterward, running all the way back to my house. When I closed the front door behind me, I leaned against it and shut my eyes.
Water dripped from my hair, down my back and down the door. Tears fell from my eyes, cutting into my cheeks with the pain that accompanied the loss of my soulmate.
The loss of my future.
“Kennedy?” Bree called out, her voice barely above a whisper.
I didn’t respond, I couldn’t respond.
She walked out of her room, still wearing her pajamas. She saw me leaning against the door, crying and dripping and falling completely apart.
Instead of saying something hopeful, like I thought she would, Bree rushed forward and threw her arms around me. She hugged me tight enough that my pieces couldn’t break apart anymore, and honestly, she held me together.
“Thanks.” I sniffled, sliding down to the floor. “You know I’ve always wanted to be a human, but I know that I’m a shifter. I grew up being told that my mate would be my perfect match. We’d complement each other and make each other whole. I always hated hearing that I wasn’t whole on my own, you know that, but I was still brainwashed into thinking it was true. I guess my parents didn’t know what they were talking about.” I dropped down to the floor, resting my head on the wood for what felt like the hundredth time in three days.
“I’m sorry.” Bree whispered, laying down next to me.
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine.” I yawned. “I just wish I could go back and have a redo. I wish I could talk to him and learn who he was. I was so concerned with the museum and with romance that I didn’t even stop to ask him what his favorite color is. I love colors.” I lifted my hands in the air. “I feel like such an idiot.”
“We’re all idiots, in some way or another. That’s just another way to say that we make stupid mistakes, and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t made a stupid mistake.” Bree said.
“I know.” I slipped my hands under my head to keep it from hitting the ground too hard.
“I can’t help but wonder…” Bree trailed off.
“What?” I asked, still staring at the ceiling.
“Maybe it’s too soon to bring this up, but why did Grant leave? I talked to him, that day you were on the phone with Sav, and he was so terrified that you’d hate him. He wanted to make it work more than anything.”
“Yeah, well he doesn’t anymore.” I filled my cheeks with air.
“Unless he only left because he thought that was what was best for you.” She suggested.
“That’s insane. Losing my soulmate wouldn’t be good for me.” I shook my head, which scraped my hands against the wood.
“Maybe it is, but maybe not.” Bree’s voice quieted back down. “That was why he stayed away for so long, remember? He joined the army because he felt like he wasn’t good enough for you yet, like he wasn’t enough of a person to win you over.”
“How do you know that?” I sat up.
“You told me, remember?” She sat up too.
“Oh, right.” I fell back to the floor. “So what? He stayed away because he didn’t feel good enough for me, but we were together for almost a month. Besides, I went over there and told him I was an idiot and that I wanted him back, but he still didn’t want me. Why would he possibly be doing that for me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he was guilty. He cheated on you and left you on the beach.” She pointed out.
“Don’t remind me.” I closed my eyes. “I just don’t understand any of this. Why…” I threw my hands into the air. “Oh, I give up. I quit.” I stood up, pulling my wet hair off of my face and neck, where it had suctioned itself. “I don’t want love if it hurts this badly.” I shook my head.
Bree gave me one last hug.
“Just don’t lose hope. No matter what happens, there’s still hope.” She promised.
“Thanks.” I hugged her tight. “Thanks for being my best friend.”
“You know I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She smiled as we pulled away from each other. “Let’s start tiling around noon, so you can sleep for a little while.” Bree suggested.
“Sounds good.” I nodded.
I went back to my room, ignoring my wet hair and salty skin. There was tons of work to do, and I was going to get it done.
I’d convince the president that I could run the museum without a soulmate at my side; I could still answer soulmate questions. I would get the museum fixed up and looking perfect. I would be living my dreams, running the museum.
And if I happened to fall in love with a human along the way, so be it. Any love was better than the absolute nothing that Grant had offered when he kicked me out of his house.
I couldn’t live without love, but I could live without him.
That much, I would prove.
Chapter 23
The next two weeks, I threw myself into putting down tiles. I worked all day every day, only going to bed when I couldn’t lift the tiles anymore due to aching arms.
Bree and I weren’t nearly as fast as Grant and I had been, but our determin
ation made up for our slow-speeds.
On the last day of tiling, Bree had to take Emma back to my house early. I finished placing the last tile, did a little victory cheer (despite being the only one in the museum), and grabbed my phone.
I was more than ready for a shower.
As I locked the door to the museum, I got a call from Sav.
“Hey, how’s it going?” I smiled into the phone. Despite everything that had happened with Grant and the possibility that I could lose my job running the museum, I was enjoying the hard work. It made me feel accomplished.
“Everything’s good over here. The buildings are going up fast, and everyone’s getting more excited every day.” Sav said. “I hate reminding them that we won’t open for another five months no matter how quickly we finish building.”
“Yeah, that sucks.” My smile lingered.
“How is the museum coming along?” Sav checked.
“Oh, it’s good. We just finished getting all the tile down, correctly this time. It’ll be tight, but we think we can finish in time.” I offered.
“Nice.” Sav agreed. “Let us know if you need any help. We’ve got plenty of people to spare, and everyone’s just kind of sitting around until school starts in January.” She said.
“Thanks.”
“Anyway, I called because I mailed you some paperwork we’re supposed to fill out. The lawyer said you have to do it because you’re in charge over there. Just sign everywhere you see a yellow arrow, and then send it back to me.” She instructed.
“Okay, sounds good.” I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.
“Alright. Good luck with everything, Kennedy. We’re all excited to see it when it’s done.” Sav said. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
I slipped my phone in my pocket, dusting my hands off on my horribly-dirty jeans.
It took a few minutes, but I found the mailbox. It was just a few yards from my house, so that was nice. Grabbing a stack of envelopes, I headed inside.