“That’d be fine, excepting that Tommy ain’t here. He’s out behind the hotel. The Austin boys and the Blackwells are practicing roping a stake out there.”
Nelson couldn’t imagine Tommy being up to playing physical games with his injured ankle. “How did he get over there?”
“We got a surprise visit this morning from Maggie Miller. She said her husband had made two pairs of crutches of different sizes. These are bigger, and a bit harder for Tommy to use, but he’s managing.”
“It sounds like Tommy is fitting right in.” Would that change her attitude about people here in town?
“I know what you’re thinking, but I never saw him so hopeful as when those other boys asked him. I didn’t have the heart to tell him no.”
“No. Of course you couldn’t.”
“Should I call him back so you can show us whatever it is you want to show us?”
“I’ll show you both later.” He went back into the kitchen to clean the pestle and mortar.
“Oh, I can do that,” She jumped up and reached for it. “I need to earn my keep.”
He didn’t let go. He meant it to tease her, but she quickly let go.
“I’m just not used to being idle.”
He watched her clean the few things from breakfast while he leaned against the hutch, purposely close and purposely in the way. He liked having her here. Everything about her fascinated him. He liked the curve of her cheek and remembered how soft her skin was against his lips.
He moved closer. “Is my mother upstairs?”
“No. She went out right after getting dressed. Didn’t even have breakfast.” Her small hands flew over the tabletop and side table, cleaning as she went, and then suddenly she stopped. She faced him. “She doesn’t like me to be here.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“Not in words.”
This was his house and he wouldn’t have his mother upsetting Sylvia. “It has more to do with me than you.”
“It doesn’t matter. The end is the same.”
“I don’t know that she likes anyone or anything right now. She came for a visit to let me know that my father passed away.”
“Oh!” Sylvia’s face filled with compassion. “No wonder she acted strange toward me.”
She dried her hands on a towel. “Was he ill?”
“For a short while before he passed. His death was expected. She is still trying to adjust.”
“I am so sorry. Were you close?” she asked cautiously.
He puffed out a breath. “No.”
She waited for him to say more.
“A few things she said have got me thinking.” He took her hands. “About Thomas.”
She stiffened. “Thomas? Why?”
“Much like your loyalty to Thomas, Mother has been very loyal to my...father.” He still had trouble calling Ellison that now that he knew the truth. It would have been different if the man had cared about him and acted like a father. But since his mother had asked him to keep the secret, he would. For her sake, he would honor her wishes. Revealing the truth now, after so many years, would benefit no one.
“How did you come to be way out here in Kansas in the first place?”
“Well,” she said slowly, “Thomas and I grew up together in the hills of Virginia. We went to the same small school and our families went to the same country church.”
“I take it Carl was around too.”
She nodded. “Boys in the hills started working in the coal mines when they were fifteen. Carl and Thomas hated being under the ground, always in the dark. That Tom—” she smiled softly, remembering “—he sure was a hard worker. Always had ideas running around in his head. Always full of new ways to do things.
“Thomas fancied me from the start and I felt the same way about him. He hated working in the mine. He talked Carl into throwing in with him. They bought Berta and a wagon and had enough saved up for a parcel of land once we got here. We planned to marry in the spring and leave right after.”
“What happened?”
“The preacher sent word that he’d taken sick and asked us to wait for the next preacher to come through. That might have been two weeks or two months. Thomas and Carl didn’t want to wait that long to head West, so we said our vows to each other as proper as we could in front of my ma and pa and Thomas’s mother and an elder from the church.”
“But no parson?”
“Tom promised my ma he would grab the next parson we saw and get married proper. He even put back enough for a plain gold band at the store.”
He glanced at her hand.
She rubbed the finger a gold band would have been on. “He sold it once we got here. He bought wood for the roof beams. Said it was more important to have a strong house that would last. Then we had to get our seeds in the ground right away else we wouldn’t make it past the first year.” She shook her head. “Seemed like it was always something.”
“Then he left on the cattle drive.”
She nodded. “In his mind, we were already married.”
“I can see how he would think that.” But he couldn’t believe Thomas would leave her to fend for herself. It was reckless and careless. Anything could have happened to Sylvia while he was gone. “He shouldn’t have left you on your own.”
“I managed. I moved in with Adele and her husband for a time. That’s how she came to know that I was in a family way. By the time her son came back with the news that Thomas had died on the trail, I could feel little Tommy kicking and a-moving inside me.”
She spread the towel out to dry on the back of a chair. “Thomas was the only man I ever loved and he gave me Tommy. And Tommy is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
He snorted softly, amazed that she could be so content when she had so little. But then, she’d known true love. He never had that, and because of it, he’d never found contentment.
There was much more to her story that she had left out. She hadn’t said a thing about the way she was treated in town. Here, she’d been loyal to one man, a man she had loved her entire life up until he died, and because of jealousy, his brother had been the one to ruin her in the eyes of the town.
Sylvia and his mother had both been in the same situation—carrying a baby and having no father to help raise it—but the way they had handled it was decidedly different. The contrast in the way he had been raised compared to Tommy was like night and day. He’d grown up with money and comfort and loneliness. Tommy had grown up with nothing, but love.
More and more he was realizing what he had missed growing up. Maybe it was because he was thinking of marrying and starting a family of his own. Maybe it was because he was afraid he would end up with the same type of family that he’d grown up in. He didn’t want any part of that. He wanted to do better. He needed to do better.
“You’re being mighty quiet,” Sylvia said, watching him closely.
He looked, really looked at the woman before him. She deserved so much. And he wanted to give it to her, if he could. He loved her. And if he had any say in the matter, he wanted her to love him back, freely and without reservation. That was the one thing he’d missed his entire life and somehow he knew that she was the one woman who could give it to him.
He had to figure out a way to make her a part of his life.
“Come on,” he said, holding out his arm for her to catch onto. “Let’s collect Tommy and show him that surprise. You’ll both enjoy it.”
* * *
She couldn’t begin to describe the feeling she got, walking beside Nelson. She felt pretty in Miss Simcock’s lavender dress, with her hair done up fancier than usual. She wanted to keep a hold of his arm the entire time. He’d been a gentleman to offer it. But she’d released it as soon as they walked out of the house.
She guessed she was confused after the way he’d acted last night. Th
at little kiss he gave her was innocent enough—but she had still tingled all through her insides as if he’d pressed his lips to her mouth and not just her forehead.
It had started off a passel of dreams. Dreams she had no right to, but she couldn’t seem to stop them. She’d slept all day yesterday, exhausted from fighting the river, and then she’d tossed and turned all night, exhausted from trying to shut out the image of him carrying her back from the river and then sitting there beside her on the bed. It was getting harder and harder to keep her thoughts and her dreams straight. They were all mixed up and too wonderful to try to straighten out.
Behind the hotel, they watched Tommy try his arm at lassoing the post. He did well for not being able to trust that one leg. It took him ten tries, but he finally got the rope to land over the post. He grabbed his crutches, beaming up at her and the doc.
They headed to the livery. When Tommy’s leg got to hurting him, the doc picked him up, easy as you please, and carried him piggyback to the big wooden doors.
“You go in first,” he said to Tommy. “See if you can figure out what’s special.”
He waited with her outside. Suddenly, they heard a big whoop from Tommy.
“Ma! It’s Penny! It’s Penny!”
She rushed in and there was Tommy, kneeling down and hugging that little goat. Sylvia’s happiness just about spilled over.
“She is plum happy to see you too!” she said. She looked around the livery for her mule. “Is Berta here too?”
“No,” Nelson said. “I thought we could take a buggy ride tomorrow and look for her. That will give the ground more time to harden.” He studied the goat. “Does she need milking or anything?”
“No. She was close to drying up. I think the job is done now.”
“Does that mean no more butter or cheese?”
“Not unless I breed her again. I’ll have to think on it. First, I need to get back to my land and see what I have left to work with.” She didn’t want to trouble him with her worries, but she had the chickens and sheep and a mule to find before she could think about breeding Penny.
“So, you are set on going back?”
She tilted her head and looked up at him. “It’s where I live.”
“You could think about staying here in town.”
“I know you mean well, but a little rain ain’t going to change my mind about town.” She had to keep telling herself that it was just his way. That he’d do the same for any other stranded person, but it was getting harder and harder to believe it with all the little things he was doing for her.
They walked back to his office while Tommy hobbled off as fast as he could on his crutches to play with his new friends. Nelson had a few people waiting on him in the parlor, so Sylvia searched about for something to keep her occupied in the house. She wanted to be near in case Nelson called out and would like her help. It hadn’t escaped her attention that Mrs. Graham had not returned yet to the house.
She wandered into the room he used for an office. He had some mighty big books on medicine. She opened one and couldn’t pronounce half the words. It didn’t seem fitting to move or organize anything in a man’s study. A glass paperweight covered a crumpled piece of paper. She smoothed out the paper and realized it was the list he’d told her about.
Curiosity got the better of her and she looked over his writing. It wasn’t the easiest to read, but she managed. A chuckle escaped. No one woman could be all this! He was sure to be disappointed. That thought sobered her. Nelson deserved a good woman by his side. How she wished it could be her, but she didn’t see herself in half the qualities on his list.
The front door opened and closed. The pronounced feminine clips of his mother’s footsteps came down the hall.
“Mother? A word?” Nelson called out.
Hurriedly, Sylvia replaced the paper and the paperweight and scooted into the kitchen. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that the woman hadn’t caught her snooping. She was sure Nelson’s mother would have considered that one more mark against her.
Looking at the row of cupboards, she had a thought. If Nelson was set on getting a wife, she guessed she could at least make sure he had the necessary staples. She’d make a list of what was missing here in the kitchen. She dragged a stool over to a cupboard and started cataloging the items inside.
“What do you think you are doing?” he said.
She startled. Then turned to see him, his mother and Fiona in the doorway.
“Do you know that you have medicine and food all mixed together, Doc? It’s a wonder you don’t poison yourself making dinner. How do you find anything at all in here?”
“I get by. No one has died yet.”
“Now, there’s a fine way to go about it.”
He grinned. “You really don’t know how to relax.”
She came down from the short stool and dusted off her hands. “Oh, I’m no good at relaxing unless I have needles and yarn and then I guess that’s still doing something. How are you getting along, Fiona? How is your daughter? What did you name her?”
Fiona laughed. “One question at a time! I’m fine now. We decided on Cordelia, although I think she will have to grow into her name. I left her with Hannah. You remember Hannah?”
She nodded. “Sure I do.”
“If you like to knit or crochet, I know that Mrs. Gallagher at the mercantile has a new assortment of yarn just in. I’m on my way there now. Would you like to go?”
She’d like more than anything to get some yarn, but she remembered her last stop at the mercantile. She wasn’t ready to face Mable Gallagher again, especially in a borrowed dress. Maybe when she had her own clothes back, she’d feel stronger. She still had that pretty blue one back at her place if the rains hadn’t ruined it. “Thank you, but I’ll stay here. I have plenty to keep me busy.”
Fiona left with Mrs. Graham, and the doc went into his study.
Sylvia climbed back on the stool to finish organizing the pantry, but it seemed some of the light had gone out of her day. She was happy for Fiona, but with each passing moment, she dwelled more and more on her own predicament. She had no doubt that the soddy would still be standing when she returned, but how was she going to cross the river with the ferry gone? Would there be any chickens left or would the foxes and coyotes have found them? And what about her sheep? She was overwhelmed with the complications. It could be that her one and only asset was a goat!
She finished in the kitchen and walked back into the parlor. She crossed her arms and stood there, staring out the window as the sun dipped closer to the horizon. The sun shining through the lace curtains dappled the skin on her hands and arms. Her mind was a muddled mess with all her thoughts and she was tired of thinking on her problems so much. She couldn’t figure out a solution to her dilemma and she had to—Tommy depended on her.
“There you are,” Nelson said, coming into the room.
She didn’t turn toward him but kept looking out the window. Here she was feeling sorry for herself when he’d been nothing but kind to her. “I finished in the kitchen. You now have a pantry and an apothecary cabinet.”
He stepped up to her side. “Thank you.”
“I also made a list of things you need. I figured—whichever of those gals you decide on for a wife would probably appreciate having a few staples.”
He touched her shoulder. “Sylvia...what’s wrong?”
She sniffed and then she turned to look up at him, her emotions raw and too near the surface to contain. “I’m frightened. Really frightened.”
He drew her to his chest.
It was the one thing she needed—his strength, his support, for just a moment, just enough to gather herself back together again. She leaned into him. The feel of his strong arms around her made her knees weaken. If only she could stay here forever.
Tears burned behind her eyes. “I keep
pondering things and I can’t see my way to any answers. I’m so used to taking care of everything, especially Tommy. And I don’t know that I can now. With no mule, no sheep and likely no chickens, how will I make ends meet? What’s to become of me and Tommy?”
His palm was warm on the back of her neck. She heard the thump, thump, thump of his heart, so strong, so steady.
“I don’t have any answers for you. Not if you won’t give the people here in Oak Grove a chance to get to know you and see for themselves what I see in you.”
She squeezed her eyelids harder together. “What could you possibly see in me?”
“That’s easy. I see a woman who cares more about others than she does herself. Maybe too much. You care so much for your son that you were willing to kidnap me. What would have happened if I was a different type of man? What if you had gotten hurt? Then what would have become of Tommy?”
“It was a crazy thing to do. But I had to do something. I couldn’t bear to lose my boy.”
He rubbed the back of her neck. Small, round, soothing strokes. A touch that said he cared about her.
And the things he said out loud! She’d never heard such words before. Calming words, words that built her up, like she was something special. His voice rumbled through his chest.
“You even care about the man who gave you Tommy. You don’t ever say a negative thing about him despite how he left you. What he did wasn’t right.”
“He thought it was. Thomas couldn’t help that he died.”
“I know. But he should have found a way to make it right with you back in Virginia with a preacher and your family all around. You deserved that. You deserve so much.”
“Well, I’m partly to blame. I should have held myself apart.” She swallowed. “Thomas was a good man for all his faults.”
“Not good enough for you.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. The doc made her feel precious.
“Things will work out,” he said, and he bussed her hair with his lips.
She wasn’t feeling all that sorry for herself when he did that. Instead, she was noticing a warmth spreading through her that tickled all over. She shivered against his vest.
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