A heaviness settled in his gut. Everything was spinning out of his control. He was losing her. He set the plate of food on the table. “I don’t think time is going to help. As of noon tomorrow, the ferry is operational.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sylvia sat in the chair by her bed, the same one Miss Weber had used to watch over her the first day that Nelson had rescued her from the river. Tommy had long since gone to sleep, sprawled sideways across the middle of the bed. She hadn’t bothered to straighten him out. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t do anything but replay that horrid scene at the restaurant over and over in her mind.
Mrs. Gallagher had the ear of everyone in town and the woman knew it. Sylvia had witnessed it from the first time she’d entered the mercantile, back when she had come for supplies with Thomas. The store was barely more than a way station then, but the power Mrs. Gallagher wielded then was nothing compared to what she had now. The mayor, the bankers, they all wanted her opinion on things. Her opinion mattered.
Sylvia would never be able to trade there again. With all that Mrs. Gallagher had said the last time she was in the mercantile, and now at the restaurant, she was sure of it. The woman wouldn’t let her through the store’s front door again. It wouldn’t matter whether she had real money or not.
Nelson had confronted Mrs. Gallagher in front of everyone. Everyone! How could he have done such a thing? If forced to pick sides, people would side with her. They had in the past. Nelson had been here only two years. He was the newcomer and towns like this rallied with their own. It had been the same in Virginia, in the town where she had grown up.
She had spent only a few days here and look at the mess that had become of it! Nelson was wrong to have pushed her. They had feelings for each other, but those feelings didn’t mean anything in real life. They both had to live among other folks. They needed other folks to survive out here—Nelson more than her.
Opinions mattered. In a small town like Oak Grove, where his livelihood depended on his standing in the community, he couldn’t be nose-to-nose with one of the most powerful people in town.
In the end, Carl was right. She wasn’t any good for Nelson. She would—she already had—drag him down. It was as simple and as sad as that. Her chest ached with the thought. She had to face reality. He’d come to hate her eventually for holding back his career, his position in Oak Grove. He deserved a woman like Miss Weber.
Perhaps she and Tommy could survive until a new crop could be harvested in the fall. That depended on rounding up her chickens and sheep. And she had to find Berta. She just had to. If she couldn’t find her animals, guess the only option left was to sell her land and try to find a job in a town far, far from Oak Grove.
* * *
The next morning, she told Tommy they’d be going back home. Tommy’s ankle wasn’t strong enough to walk the entire distance, so she would have to depend on Nelson to take her. If he couldn’t take her, well...then she guessed she would have to depend on Carl.
The thought wasn’t a pleasant one.
“Can I play with my friends till we have to leave?” he asked plaintively.
“It’s Friday. They’re in school today.”
“I won’t see them at all? Not even to say goodbye?”
“You might. I guess it depends when I hear about the ferry.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do till then?”
It wasn’t like Tommy to talk with that whine in his voice. She sighed. “Have breakfast, and then go check on Penny. We’ll take her with us when we go. If you want, you can lead her back here and tie her up outside. That way, we’ll be ready when the time comes to leave.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ll be down as soon as I’m dressed.”
Once Tommy left the room, Sylvia removed her nightgown—the one Miss Weber had lent to her. She’d have to wash it that morning and take it back. She wondered who the woman would chose for her husband. Then wondered if it would be Nelson and what he would do if that happened. He had a right to marry Miss Weber—or any of the women from the train. When the time came that he made a choice to wed, Sylvia would just have to accept it. All she knew was that it wouldn’t be her. She wasn’t right for him.
She dressed in the mustard-yellow skirt and blouse that she’d made over the past few days. It was plain, but it suited her. The buttons down the front of the blouse were the only decoration at all, and with the stiffness of the new material, they were difficult to button. She gathered up Miss Simcock’s gingham dress and the nightgown and carried them down the stairs. She would set a pot on to warm some water so that she could wash them.
When she walked into the kitchen, Tommy had just finished his oatmeal. Nelson and Mrs. Graham sat at the table with him. Everyone was quiet.
Tommy grabbed his crutches and swung down the hall. He was already an expert with those crutches. She’d have to remember to leave them behind. They’d worked their magic. Having friends to keep up with and play with had done the rest. He still had pain with walking, but he could bear weight tolerably well on that leg now. The front door swished open and then closed with his leaving.
Nelson stood. “Tommy said that you are leaving today.” He searched her face with that green gaze of his.
“Yes.”
He whipped his cloth napkin onto the table.
“Don’t go, Sylvia. If this is about last night with Mrs. Gallagher, we can work through it. Together.”
She glanced at his mother. Was she aware that her name had come up last night too?
Mrs. Graham rose from her chair. “I’ll leave you two to discuss this. However,” she said, focusing on Sylvia, “there is one thing I want you to know. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first rather than Mrs. Gallagher. After our conversation, I changed many preconceptions I held about you. I’m sorry it took me so long.
“You will find it difficult to build a life together if you go back to your land. Nelson is a strong man, Sylvia. He can handle the Mrs. Gallaghers of this world. You can trust that.” She took her teacup and walked from the room.
Sylvia was overwhelmed. Mrs. Graham was on her side? She turned, in her confusion, to Nelson. “How can the few words I said to her make that big a difference? It doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“From what she told me, you did most of the talking. There is more to my mother’s story than she told you.”
“Well, I didn’t want to pry, and you know how I can talk on and on once I get going.”
“Mother learned long ago to keep her thoughts bound up inside. She’s only just now opening up. She probably wasn’t ready to share it all with you in one sitting.”
“What made her change her mind about me?”
“She realized she has a lot in common with you. I’ll tell you about it someday. After we are married.”
She looked down at the bundle of clothes that she’d placed on a chair. “About that...”
“You said you’d try,” he said with an urgency to his voice. “One day doesn’t amount to a ‘try.’”
“It’s just no good.”
“You said you loved me.”
“I do. There’s no question on that.”
“Then I don’t see a problem.”
“I’m not right for you and I never will be. People here know my past and aren’t about to accept me.” She walked over to the water pump and worked the handle, filling his largest pot with water. It didn’t matter what he said. She wasn’t changing her mind.
He came up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “You won’t give them a chance to know you—not the you I have come to care for.”
“Well, I can’t face them.” She turned from the pump to meet his gaze. “Last night I was so mad at myself for letting you do the talking. You shouldn’t have had to do that. If it’s about me, then I’m the one who should be
standing up for myself. Only trouble is, some of the things she said are true. How can I argue with that?”
“Thomas had some part in it too. It shouldn’t all be on your shoulders.”
“Well, that’s neither here nor there because Thomas is gone now.”
“What you did happened a long time ago and you’ve paid for it. Whether anyone else agrees with that or not, you should believe it yourself. Don’t let what happened eight years ago ruin the future we can have together.”
She sighed. “Oh, Nelson. It just ain’t going to be. You’ve got to leave it alone.”
“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” Gently, he raised her chin with his fingertips. “I see a woman who loves her son and even the man who gave her her son, although he didn’t treasure her enough and do right by her.”
She tried to look away, but he held her with his gaze. Her heart was pumping fast. The words he spouted were so sweet. She wanted to see herself as the woman he saw. She wanted to be that woman.
“I see a woman who loves unconditionally.” He huffed out a breath, a slight smile coming to his lips. “There aren’t many of you around. Believe me, I know.”
She tingled all over from the tenderness shining from his face. Her insides were mush with all that he’d said and still her heart pounded. How could he see all that in her? How? It would be easy to step closer, to touch her lips to his, to put her arms around his neck. So easy...
He waited.
Carl’s words came back to her. You’re not like him. You’ll only shame him. She stepped back, away from his touch.
“I’m going home, Doc.”
Nelson’s jaw hardened.
Someone knocked at the door.
“Sylvia...”
They knocked again. More insistently this time.
“Probably someone in need of your doctorin’ skills,” she said, turning from him. “You should go see who it is. I need to get these clothes washed and back to their rightful owners.”
His gaze turned to stone. She’d never seen him angry. Not like this. The only other time had been when he’d seen the bruises on her arm.
He left the room and answered the door. She watched from the kitchen as he spoke with Teddy White. Funny how he could act like the world was still spinning and everything was all right, when for her, her world was falling apart. She placed her hands over her abdomen, as a weight shifted and dropped inside. There was no turning back now.
* * *
The sun was straight overhead when Carl rode up on a horse. He had tethered a mule to his saddle. Sylvia figured that one was for her and Tommy. She wasn’t surprised to see him at all. Growing up from childhood with Carl, she’d become accustomed to his ways. Angry at Nelson, he might be, but he had been clear enough yesterday that he’d be back for her.
He’d known about last evening before it even happened. He’d known, eventually, that she would face her situation in town and see that the small amount of pride she still possessed wouldn’t allow her to stay.
Tommy was out on the swing, hanging on to his goat and waiting. She felt bad that he wouldn’t get to say goodbye to his new friends. She rose from a chair in the parlor, where she had been waiting.
Mrs. Graham came in from the kitchen with a basket of food. “You won’t have time to prepare anything for tonight.” She pushed the basket into Sylvia’s hands and gave her an awkward hug. “I don’t know that I shall see you again. I’ll be going back to Boston in another week, so I’ll say my goodbyes now.”
The exam room door remained shut. Nelson was in there with a family from a nearby ranch. One of the boys had a spider bite that had festered.
She knocked on the closed door. “I’m leaving now,” she called.
A moment later Nelson opened the door. “I can’t take you just yet. You’ll have to wait.”
“That’s all right. You’ve got work to do. Carl is here. He can take me back.”
Nelson closed the door behind him, shutting out the curious stares of the boy and his parents. “You can’t go with Carl! Wait for me to take you. I won’t be long.”
“You don’t know that. Anyone could come, needing your skills. You’ve got to stay here. And I’ve got to go. I can’t wait any longer. I need to get home.”
He took her face in his hands, searching her eyes, her cheeks, her lips, as if he was trying to memorize everything about her. She didn’t have to look far to see the pain in his eyes. Her own burned with unshed tears. “This is goodbye, then.”
She couldn’t trust her voice not to waver or betray the turmoil going on inside. She nodded.
He kissed her then—hard on the mouth. Then he spun around and returned to his patient.
She stared at the thick door. So much more separated them than a piece of wood.
* * *
Carl didn’t get off his own horse to help her. She led the mule around so that she could mount it herself from the front steps. It was awkward in the new dress, but she managed. A saddle would have been easier, but with Carl she wasn’t about to say a thing. She was lucky to have a mule. She picked up Tommy, sitting him down in front of her on the mule’s warm, dusty back.
As he urged his horse over to her and took the lead rope, the smirk on Carl’s face said plenty. He thought he’d won in some kind of crazy match between her and the doc.
Once they were out of town and over the train tracks, he started talking.
“Glad to see that you came to your senses, gal.”
“Nothing has changed between you and me, Carl. Thank you kindly for helping me get home, but don’t expect me to start setting a place at the table for you. I’m only going back because you were right about one thing—that’s where I belong.”
He smiled a big, toothy grin. “Glad to see you still got some sass in you.”
“Ma?” Tommy said. “Think the doc will come visit us again soon?”
“No, son. He’s where he belongs and we will soon be where we belong.”
She knew he wouldn’t come. It would be best if he didn’t come.
Jackson Miller was still working on the ferry when they arrived at the landing.
“Is it safe to cross?” she asked.
Carl scowled at her for speaking first and not letting him do the talking. He always said that women should be quiet unless spoken to.
“Yes. Just be careful on the other side. The mud is still thick over there.”
Carl dismounted and led the animals onto the raft. Sylvia used the railing to climb from the mule and left Tommy astride. If the mud was bad, it would be better for her to walk the rest of the way. She hated to think what it would do to her new dress and shoes.
The current flowed faster than she was used to, but they got across without mishap. Carl was a strong man from his work in the stockyards and he handled the raft with ease despite the push and pull of the water. On the opposite bank, she took the lead line and walked along beside him. Her shoes sank in the muck a few inches, but she managed to finally get away from the worst of the mud and onto higher ground.
“What if your place ain’t fit to live in, Sylvia? Maybe you and Tommy should come stay with me for a time.”
“I have to find my animals. They won’t know to come home if I’m not there.”
“Coyotes probably got those critters already.”
She glanced back at Tommy. “Watch your words, Carl. You’ll upset my boy.”
He blew out a long-suffering breath. “We done talked about this. About mollycoddling him.”
She didn’t answer. Just kept walking.
The lake that had prevented her from going to the DuBois farm had dried and become a wide muddy ditch. There were no tracks through the mud except for a few rabbits and squirrels and birds. Guess Adele and Julian were still stuck at their place. She’d make sure to check on them in another day or two, on
ce the mud dried further.
It was another half a mile to her place, but the trail was getting drier and easier to traverse. Another dip and they rounded the curve to her home.
She stared at the mess before her, her chest tightening at the sight. The place was in shambles. Water had shoved a wave of mud in through her front doorway, ripping the door off its hinges and breaking it completely away. The roof sagged dangerously in one corner, too unstable for them to sleep under it. She’d have to see about shoring it up somehow. Probably would have to put on a new roof altogether.
“Well, at least the roof didn’t cave completely in,” she said, mostly to herself.
She helped Tommy down from the mule and took the basket he held.
“Guess we better see what the house looks like on the inside.”
“You are plum crazy, Sylvia,” Carl said with a snort. “You can’t stay here. It’s ruined. The whole thing is falling in and I ain’t helping fix this mess.”
“I didn’t ask you to, now did I? I’ll figure it out on my own.”
Gingerly, holding her skirt high, she stepped on the solidifying mass of mud that covered the threshold. Inside, her table and chairs had been shoved against the wall by the mud. It was still wet and mushy in places. It would eventually dry. She let out a long breath. “Looks like we have a new dirt floor.”
Carl rolled his eyes.
Guess he was right, as much as she hated to admit it. They couldn’t stay here. “Let’s go see the shed, Tommy.”
The scent of wet moldy straw stung her nostrils upon entering the shed. She stared in surprise at the center of the small building. There stood her mule!
“Tommy! Come quick! Look who is here!”
Tommy limped into the shed. “Berta!”
Sylvia giggled at seeing how happy he was at the sight of their mule. She smoothed her hand over the animal’s mud-caked back. “We’re back, Berta. We’re back.”
She looked through the dim shed and counted three chickens and the rooster. She’d had ten before the storm.
“I don’t see the sheep, Ma.”
“We’ll go look for them soon.”
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