by D. E. Morris
Ashlynn was well aware that Jessiah had been a demon that had chosen the face of Killian's long-dead twin on purpose. It was late and she was so impassioned that it took her a moment to realize the man before her was not the one who had almost succeeded in killing her, that, though they looked similar, there were significant differences between them.
With a glance at the moon above them, Killian lifted the robe and slippers he must have found. “It would not do for the high queen to catch her death in cold.” There was sadness on his face as he looked over her tattered arms and hands. He held the items out to her. “Please, Your Majesty.”
Ashlynn felt like a child who had been caught skipping her lessons and it showed in the way she stood with rounded, hunched shoulders. Her shock at being stopped and seeing someone else out there was slowly being taken over by anger once again. This time, however, the anger was fueled by embarrassment. She took a few steadying breaths, then lifted her chin and snatched her possessions from his grip. With only a cold glare as thanks, she turned on her heel and stalked back to the inside of the castle.
Chapter Two
“Lynnie, I am so glad you are awake!”
The bedroom doors had barely opened the next morning before Kenayde's smiling face popped out to surprise Ashlynn. Without invitation, Kenayde took to strolling down the hallway with her sister, chatting away as though they'd been talking for hours and the day hadn't only just begun. She linked her arm in Ashlynn's but suddenly stopped short when noticing the scrapes on her older sister's hands, forcing the elder sister and her retinue of ladies and guards to stop as well.
“Ashlynn, what happened to you?”
“Late night gardening.” Ashlynn cursed herself for forgetting her gloves and pulled her hands free to wrap an arm around Kenayde's shoulders and give her a gentle squeeze. “What were you telling me just now?”
“I am not as easy to distract as I used to be, you know.”
Ashlynn gave her a half-smile. “I know. I miss those days.”
Kenayde scowled. “What happened to your hands?”
“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” Withdrawing her arm, Ashlynn folded her hands before her and began walking again. “You seem awake enough to have been up for hours.”
“I am. I have been.” Kenayde was clearly irritated by her sister's lack of sharing, but kept pace with her anyway. “Last night Elas and I were talking and we decided we want to get married here, at Altaine.”
Ashlynn looked at Kenayde with surprise. “Really? I thought you would wait for Oceana to be rebuilt.”
“Winter is only now beginning to turn to spring, and with Oceana right on the ocean, just like here at Altaine, it will take several more weeks for the snow to melt there. No one has really been back since the night it was destroyed so we are not even entirely sure how much damage she took, only that it was widespread. It could take months, years even, to rebuild.” Kenayde looked down, a blush staining her cheeks. “We do not want to wait that long, perhaps only a few more weeks.”
Whatever discomfort she felt at her sister's questioning faded, and Ashlynn linked her arm with her sister once more. “I understand, Nadie. When you are in love, it is hard to wait.” She turned for an open door to the outside corridors and stopped to face the bailey. There were children below playing in the melting snow, forming soaking balls of slush and throwing them at one another despite the threatening cries from the nannies watching them. “You belong to Siness as much as I do. Why should you not marry here?”
“Because I am not truly its princess. I have not been since we were stolen away as children. This country has always been yours, Ashlynn. I have always belonged to Oceana and I have been perfectly content with that.” Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “Now I am little more than a displaced royal.”
“Stop that,” Ashlynn laughed. “Our parents intended for this to be our home. Ours. Together. Whether or not you called Oceana home, whether you will again or not, this is your home as well. If you want to get married here, that is what you shall do.”
“Thank you, Lynnie,” Kenayde exhaled. “There is so much to be done. Your wedding was so simple.”
“Because it happened last minute. Yours will have to make up for that, even if we have to scramble.”
Ashlynn had to admit that it was nice to be able to walk outside again. The chill was still in the air, but the sun that shone down promised warmth. How different her problems seemed during the day than when she weighed them at night.
“Ashlynn, I know you do not want to talk about anything serious – I can tell by the way you changed the subject – but I am worried about you. Jaryn and Papa are as well.”
It was involuntary, but Ashlynn sighed. “Why should you be worried about me? I am perfectly fine.”
“You have been melancholy since...well...”
“Since Jessiah tried to kill me? Forgive me for not finding the silver lining in almost losing my life.”
Kenayde flinched, despite the teasing undertone in her sister's voice. “That is not what I meant; of course that was a terrible thing. We almost lost you. If Cavalon had not acted as quickly as he did-”
“But he did, and I am fine. Better than fine, actually.”
“How can you be? Besides the fact that you almost died, you lost two of your ladies and I know how close you were to them.”
“I have not lost anyone, Kenayde. Both Mairead and Lilia are still here.”
“To what purpose? Mairead has locked herself in her rooms and refuses to let anyone but the maids in to bring her food, freshen her linens and clean. They say she stays in the shadows and hardly speaks to them. They fear her scars are too hideous for her to show her face ever again.”
“Court gossip,” Ashlynn grumbled. “You know how quickly a story can spread and grow. I swear it is worse among royals than it is among the commoners.”
“What about Lilia?”
“What about her?”
“You two were nearly always in each other's company according to what I have heard, yet in the five months we have been here I have seen her in the same room as you, at opposite ends of the room I might add, only once! Oh, and that was because I asked her to attend me since, apparently, you have given her over to my charge.”
“Let me worry about my ladies past and present, Kenayde. You worry about things that need to be done for your wedding.”
Kenayde's eyes narrowed. “I know you hold a secret hurt, Ashlynn. You have always been one to carry a burden alone and that is maddening to me.”
“What would you have me do?” Ashlynn whispered harshly. “I am sick of everyone looking at me as if I am going to fall apart at any given moment, as though if they turn away they might miss me breaking down! Must I really remind everyone on a daily basis that we are not safe?” Despite shirking her guards the night before, there was a constant fear within her of what might be lurking just around the corner. “If Ibays were the only threat then that would be one thing, but you and I both know there are much darker dangers hovering over us. I do not have time to fall apart. So forgive me if I choose not to dwell in conversation on things that cause me distress in my private thoughts every moment I am awake. I am High Queen and have no room to show vulnerability. People can stare and scrutinize as much as they please. They will find nothing. I am no weak woman who will give in to tears because she feels it is her only option.”
For once, Kenayde held her tongue. Ashlynn looked out towards the sun-drenched bailey as they walked, trying to calm the temper that had risen up within her. It wasn't fair of her to lash out at Kenayde. Her words had simply been the tipping point to the already dangerously uneven scale of her emotions. Still, she couldn't bring herself to apologize. Whether it was pride or entitlement, she simply wanted to let the subject die.
“May I ask one more thing?”
Kenayde's timid question twisted a dagger in her side, but Ashlynn's answer was even. “Of course.”
“I know Cailin has been taking dif
ferent scouting parties out in search of invaders from Ibays; have relations between Siness and Ibays truly become that terrible?”
Though Kenayde had grown and matured much more than Ashlynn could have expected in the past two years, the under-current of fear in her voice brought her back to the night in the monastery when they hid in the dark from Merrik, hoping for an escape through a secret passageway. It reminded her of her dear lost friend, Briac, and how reassuring he'd always been with Kenayde.
“I do not know,” was Ashlynn's honest answer. “At this point it may be that both of our kingdoms are making much more of the other than is necessary. I have wanted to make a visit of diplomacy for some time, but Jaryn thought it best that we wait until the spring.”
“Do you agree with him?”
Ashlynn's forehead wrinkled as she was forced once again to say, “I do not know.” Looking at her sister imploringly, she asked, “Can we please return to a lighter subject?” The smile Kenayde gave in return was sweet. With a nod, she began talking about the people she hoped would want to come to Altaine for the wedding. Kenayde babbled on beside her as they strolled, but Ashlynn found it hard to concentrate on wedding details. She glanced down at her hands. Scratches left an odd map of trails across her skin. It was such a strange thing to see, knowing she couldn't simply shift her form and heal in the space of a breath.
“I hope you do not mind, and I know this is a bit out of order since I only just asked about having the wedding here, but I have already sent out invitations to our friends in the other high kingdoms.”
Ashlynn nodded absently, but when the words finally sank in she looked at her sister with question. “Not to Ibays, I should think.”
Kenayde's eyes widened. “Of course not! For one thing, we hardly know whether they mean us ill or not. For another, Connor is a child and one whom I have never had the displeasure of meeting. Propriety and pomp aside, why would I even want him at my wedding?”
“Elas is Ibayish.”
“Yes, but with no ties there since he was a child.” Kenayde's lips curved down into a frown. “I tried to talk him into contacting his family, but he refused to even speak about it.”
Ashlynn nodded. “I cannot say that I am surprised. It would take a greater man than any I know to forgive what they did to him. I know you want everyone to be happy and loving, Kenayde, but that is not the way of the world. There is hurt, anger, and strife even among those who should not let it burden their relationships.”
“I know.” Kenayde's downward expression lifted. “I will always be thankful we grew up so close and that my very best friend is my sister.”
“As will I.” The sentiment was sincere, but Ashlynn's tone took on something cold that made Kenayde look up at her. Farther along their chosen path stood a man in worn leather, a heavy green cloak clasped at his neck blowing out behind him in a gust of cold air. Beside him was a little girl also wearing a long winter cape, her messy red curls like a mane of fire about her head. Both the man and the little girl were looking over the edge of the wall to something below, in conversation with one another and ignorant of the fact that other people went to and fro around them. Kenayde looked from them, to her sister, and back again in confusion.
“Lynnie? It is only Killian and Rowan.”
Ashlynn gave herself a mental shake, tearing her gaze from Killian to rest on the chatting child beside him. She took a cleansing breath and forced herself to smile. “Yes. It seems we are not the only ones excited by all the melting snow.”
“Rowan!”
Kenayde called to the little girl before Ashlynn could stop her. Hearing her name, Rowan and Killian both turned at the sound, causing a grin to spread across the young girl's face. “Ashlynn!”
Kenayde kept the smile on her face, but through gritted teeth said, “We do not sound that much alike, do we?”
The question made Ashlynn laugh. “To a blind girl? Of course not. You have to remember that everything is melting and therefore soaked through. Look at the bottom of our gowns. Even though we are covered, we are still walking through open-air hallways and are getting wet. She can see through that moisture because she is the Elemental of Water, remember.”
“And she can tell you are with me?”
“She can tell you are with someone. What other woman do you walk through Altaine with like this?”
Rowan said something to Killian before running toward the older women. Hurrying forward to meet her halfway, Ashlynn opened her arms and the two collided in a tight hug. Rowan squeezed her so tightly that all of the stress and worry she had been carrying drained away. “Hello, heartling.”
“Be gentle, daughter,” said Killian as he drew up closer to them. His voice was soft and gentle, quite the opposite from the way Jessiah's had been booming and confident. “The queen is in a delicate way.” Meeting Ashlynn's eyes, he bowed his head. “Your Majesty.”
“Rowan is perfectly fine, as am I.” Ashlynn gave Rowan a final squeeze before releasing her hold on the girl, noting the tone of sadness in Killian's voice. She'd detected it the night before and the few times before that she had cared to listen to him speak as well, and wondered if it was how he always sounded. Focusing on Rowan, she tucked an unruly tendril behind the girl's ear. “Did you know that it was Kenayde who actually called for you?”
Rowan giggled and hurried to give Kenayde a hug as well. “Of course I did.” Over Rowan's head, Ashlynn gave Kenayde a smile that boasted it was simply because she favored Ashlynn. Kenayde gave her a dirty look in reply. “Isn't it beautiful out?” Rowan let go of Kenayde and ran to the balcony so quickly that it looked like she might launch herself over. “I can see so many things!”
“It is beautiful,” Ashlynn agreed. She joined Rowan and put her hands on the thick stone edge. “This must be your favorite time of the year.”
“I liked all the snow better,” Rowan admitted, “though rain is the best.” Her unusually pale green eyes lifted as though she were looking into Ashlynn's face. “This is my first winter and spring as an Elemental, remember?”
Ashlynn shook her head. “I keep forgetting that this is all so new for you.” She looked down at the child with a swell of affection. Here she was dressed as a young lady, refined all but her wild curls. It was such a change from the dirty vagabond that had been brought to her last year, the child who was new in her Elemental powers and only spoke in Ibayish Gaelic. She could speak the common Caedian tongue well now, though her accent was an odd mixture of Ibayish and Sinessian. “Since you will be under my care while your father goes to Caedia, we shall have to steal some time with Elas and play around with your special abilities some more.”
“Thank you again for offering to keep her here at Altaine.”
With an unreadable expression, Ashlynn nodded to Killian. “Think nothing of it. Lochlainn has grown quite attached to Rowan, as have the rest of us.” She ran a hand over Rowan's hair. “The castle would feel somewhat empty without her here now.”
Killian's gaze fell to the hand that lovingly touched his daughter, then rose again to Ashlynn's face, the sadness in his voice now touching his concerned expression. “So long as you are feeling well enough. I would not want to burden you more than you already are.”
Ashlynn gripped the edges of her winter cloak and pulled it tighter around herself. “Nonsense. Rowan could never be a burden, and I am in perfect health.” She took a breath in and lifted her chin. “Safe travels.”
Bowing low as she moved on, Killian kept his gaze down as her ladies brushed past him, followed by her guards. When he straightened he was surprised to see Kenayde still there, an apologetic smile on her face. “Princess.”
“You will have to forgive my sister. She seems to be in a particularly foul mood this morning.”
Killian shook his head and looked after the receding royal procession, watching the way Rowan bounced along beside Ashlynn, hand in hand and laughing over something together. “She is High Queen of Siness. She needs no forgiveness, especially fr
om me.”
With a smirk, Kenayde quirked a brow. “I assure you that she does need forgiveness. We all do. No one is perfect, not even a woman of her station. She has no call to treat you as coldly as she does, High Queen or not.”
“That is very kind of you to say, though I suspect she has more reason than it would appear.” Killian turned to look at Kenayde. “The one responsible for her capture and near-death had a very similar appearance to mine from what I have been told. The face the demon wore, the face of my brother, Jessiah. That face, so like mine, was used to charm people into believing lies and trusting someone who would use that trust as a weapon against them. It is only natural for someone who has been betrayed by a face like mine to have an aversion to it.” Killian's gaze dropped to the cold stone walkway beneath his feet. “It may not have been me to cause your sister or Lady Lilia pain, but I lament the anger and the hurt I see in their faces when we are in the same room together.”
Kenayde looked as though she might reach over and touch him for a moment, but bit her lip as she thought better of it. Her instinct was to comfort and console when there was obvious discomfort, but she was engaged now. It would not be appropriate to be seen offering a comforting touch to another man. Instead, she wrung her fingers together as a way to keep her hands busy. “Please try not to burden yourself with the sins of another man. Both Lilia and my sister will warm to you eventually...at least, I hope so. I really know very little about Lilia yet, and my sister...well...” She trailed off, a defeated sigh on her lips. Ashlynn was not a person that quickly forgave and forgot. Jessiah damaged her far beyond that of anyone she'd ever known. Even if it hadn't been Killian himself, the resemblance could certainly be enough to fuel her ire for a long time.
“Besides,” she said with a forced chuckle, “she tends to lean a bit towards the irritable side when she cannot fly, and there was not a lot of time for her to do that between the beginning of her recovery and when she found out she was having another child. She does not want to shift and risk hurting the baby.”