by D. E. Morris
Giant chunks of ice floated around the ship in large, flat planes that the captain had to navigate through with great gentility. He waved his thanks to smaller vessels in the bay, the men within them waving back when they paused in their task of breaking up the ice that would otherwise keep ships from docking. Ashlynn took in the sight of Amme as they drew nearer. The last time she had been here she had been fleeing for Siness in hopes of escaping being caught for killing the high king of Caedia. Kenayde was with her then, as was Elas, though he'd spent most of his time in the water. Luella, now High Queen of Caedia, was a new companion then as well. How things had changed.
Ashlynn could well remember the weight on her shoulders then: the fear she would have never admitted to and the uncertainty about what kind of war she had begun. This time as she sailed toward Amme and not away from it, there was a feeling of hope. She was going to be away from the daily, sometimes tedious, duties of her day to day life. She would be with friends she hardly got to see anymore and get to experience the joy of seeing Luella with her first child.
When the ship was tied off and the gangplank was lowered, some of the sailors disembarked to help with the unloading process, but everyone else held back and turned their attention to the royal couple to allow them to leave the ship first. Jaryn gave a wave and a sweeping bow to the captain before walking side by side with Ashlynn down the long bridge that would bring them once more to solid ground and the carriages that awaited them. Ashlynn's ladies and Jaryn's squires followed closely behind, Lochlainn and his two nannies after them, with the royal guard following. It was a good thing their messenger had arrived before they did or they would all be making a very long and cold walk to Montania. The standard bearer affixed the flag of the High Sinessian Court to the carriage, a roaring silver dragon on a field of bright blue and white.
As their luggage was being strapped to the back, Ashlynn stood close to the older nanny who held Lochlainn, both of them pointing out the horses that were being led out from the bottom of the ship. Men and women claimed them as they were brought ashore and saddlebags were fastened tightly. One of these horses was claimed by Killian, and he set off as soon as his horse was properly tacked. Soon enough the royal caravan was ready to go itself, and the group divided itself into the three carriages, Ashlynn and Jaryn riding alone together at the front of the line.
“No one to greet us,” said Jaryn. The carriage jolted as the reigns snapped, spurring the horses into motion. “I must admit that I am a little surprised Tasarin didn't come at least.”
“Not me.” Ashlynn pulled the heavy velvet curtain down to try to ward off some of the chill. “He has wanted a family for so long, and I am certain Luella has kept her son rather close, which results in sleepless nights.”
“I remember those.”
“No doubt they would both be hard-pressed to leave the warmth and comfort of their castle right now.”
Jaryn looked at his wife carefully. “How are you feeling about going back to Montania? The last time you were here you were plotting a murder.”
Ashlynn gave a small shrug. “I have no real feelings about it. What comes to mind most is Briac and I would rather not talk about him.” Though it was clear that Jaryn felt differently, he was silent as he took her hand and looked out his own window. Ashlynn leaned against him and took a slow breath in. The path they were on would take them out of Amme and deep into the woods that separated the port town from the village of Montania and the large castle the village preceded. Along that path would be an old monastery. It had been her sanctuary; it was the place she and Kenayde lived with a friend of Nir's, Briac. He had been like a father to the girls for the year that led up to the murder of Tadhg, and ultimately gave his life to make sure they made it home alive. Seeing the monastery was something she wanted to do but alone and in her own time.
On the outside it seemed as though not much had changed about Montania. It still loomed over a large and bustling village like a foreboding storm cloud with its tall, dark spires and grand iron portcullis. As the grate was raised to allow the carriages through, Ashlynn finally drew her curtain back to get a look at the courtyard. At one time there had been tall marble statues that overlooked visitors to the castle as they disembarked, men and women of cold stone who looked down upon the living with sorrow in their chiseled expressions. These were now gone, replaced with detailed carvings of peaceful and protective dragons.
Ashlynn accepted the hand of the footman and stepped down, marveling at what she saw. “Jaryn, look!” She pointed to a dragon closest to her, one of two framing the main entrance into the castle. “It looks like me!”
“Aye, and that other one looks like Luella.”
Turning in a circle to take each statue in, she couldn't stop herself from smiling. “That is definitely Cavalon, and, oh, look! Badru is right there.”
Jaryn nodded, impressed. “Do you think the last two are for Mei Xing and Nealie, or Misuzu and Rowan?”
Uncertain, Ashlynn could only shake her head. “It is hard to say. I never saw Nealie in her shifted form, and Misuzu looks so much like Mei.”
“Who are these boisterous travelers making so much noise in the courtyard?”
Her attention was stolen by the sound of a familiar cool, calm voice. Tasarin, truly one of her oldest friends, stood framed in the open doors to the castle, lit from behind by warm light that made little more than a silhouette of him. Though she couldn't see his face, Ashlynn could hear the humor in his tone that was so rarely caught by those who simply didn't know him well enough. She left Jaryn's side to stand at the bottom of the wide staircase that would take her up to her friend, and gave a deep curtsy. “Please forgive us, Your Highness.” Thinking they were being impolite, all of Ashlynn's ladies, the nannies, as well as the guards bowed to Tasarin as well. Only Jaryn stayed upright, laughter on his lips.
“Typical elven theatrics.”
Tasarin left the doorway and descended, catching Jaryn's eyes with a small smirk. “Some habits are hard to change.” The two men clasped forearms. “It is good to see you.” Turning to Ashlynn as she rose, he pulled her into an embrace. “How was your journey?”
“Cold,” she replied. “Very cold.”
“Please, let us go inside where it is much warmer. Luella has been eagerly awaiting your arrival.”
“Yes,” Ashlynn agreed. “I want to see the baby. Speaking of, where is my son?”
“Still in the carriage, Your Majesty,” said one of the nannies. “He fell asleep on the way here.”
Tasarin waved her forward. “I will have one of the servants show you to the nursery.”
The procession headed inside, following Tasarin down long hallways and through several doors. “How is Suule?” Ashlynn asked as the nannies peeled away with Lochlainn, led by one of the serving girls they came across.
“He is well, though it is rare I see him face to face these days.”
Jaryn chuckled. “That's what you get for being spirit-linked to a unicorn. He's a wild animal and needs to roam.”
Tasarin inclined his head. “If only you knew how accurate that can be. If I am being perfectly honest, we do still see each other a great deal, though the days of absence in between have lengthened since the birth of his foals.”
“Really?” Ashlynn clasped her hands together under her chin, excitement widening her eyes. “Baby unicorns! You must tell him we have come for a visit. Maybe he will bring his family around.”
“I will see what I can do.”
Ashlynn looked about as they walked, taking everything in. So much of her time in Montania before had been spent in finding the most expeditious routes to and from Tadhg's quarters that she hadn't had a chance to admire the old castle for its darker beauty.
“I adore the dragons outside, by the way.”
Tasarin glanced over his shoulder at Ashlynn. “That was one of the first things Luella changed when she was back here. The dragons all represent the Elementals as they were described to the both of you b
y Cavalon and represent no certain individual, but the Elemental itself.”
“Ashlynn!”
Luella appeared in the doorway before them, her long hair pinned up with glittering jewels and a crown atop her head that lent to the purple hue of her dark tresses. The sapphire gown she wore was expensively dressed with pearls and more jewels. As she rushed forward to embrace Ashlynn, the younger woman smiled and held her friend tightly.
“My dear Luella.” They pulled back from one another but continued holding each other by the arms. “You look well rested for the mother of a newborn.”
Luella was beaming, her blue eyes bright and her smile wide. “I always feel best toward the end of the day. If you remember, I am not much of a morning person. Besides, what should having a newborn have to do with being well rested?” She parted from Ashlynn to greet Jaryn with an embrace and a kiss to his cheek. “How is my adopted older brother?”
The title made Jaryn grin. “Well, thank you. We were just commenting on the statues you had commissioned for the front of the castle.”
“Do you like them?”
“Very much so,” Ashlynn assured. “It makes me curious as to other changes that may have been made, though I have yet to see many.”
Luella clasped her hands together. “I shall have to give you a tour once everyone has settled and shaken the chill you are sure to have caught.”
“How is the crown suiting you, Tasarin?” asked Jaryn. “It's been almost a year now. Does the weight of it feel less burdensome?”
“You tell me,” Tasarin countered, the quirk of his brow the only indication of teasing. “Come. I will show you all to your rooms, then you can go meet my son. After that, I am certain a nice warm meal would not be frowned upon?”
Jaryn shook his head. “We can eat first if you ask me.”
The quarters that had been prepared for Ashlynn and Jaryn were spacious, decorated with rich, colorful fabrics and furniture that spoke of age. A fire had already been prepared for them, something in the Caedian wood giving the room a somewhat sweet scent. With Ashlynn's ladies in the rooms beside them and Jaryn's squire and the guards on the other side, all of them hurried to change out of their travel clothes into gowns, jerkins and breeches that were lighter and much more comfortable.
As promised, before supper they were led to the nursery where the baby and Lochlainn were being looked after. Lochlainn crawled to Ashlynn as soon as he saw her, covering her face with wet, open-mouthed kisses when she scooped him up. “Hello, heartling. How is my little one?”
Luella ticked his cheek, smiling at him. “He has gotten so big.”
“And getting bigger still.” Ashlynn looked with purpose toward a cradle up against the wall. “Let me see your little one.”
Needling little else to encourage her, Luella crossed the room to gingerly lift a bundle of blankets and cradle it close to her body. Speaking quietly, she said, “Jaryn, Ashlynn...this is our son, Tiyal.”
Eagerly Ashlynn handed Lochlainn to Jaryn and reached out for the baby, a silent request Luella was all too happy to fulfill. Careful to cradle the baby's head, Ashlynn held Tiyal with more confidence than Luella had, smiling down at him. His skin was a perfect blend of Tasarin's pale complexion and the rich honey tones of Luella. Little pink lips were parted slightly and curved upward as though he were smiling at some hidden jest only he understood. What was most astonishing were his eyes, bright, nearly impossibly blue, and wide open.
“Oh, Luella,” Ashlynn breathed, running a hand over the sparse black hair on his head and touching the pointed tips of his ears. “He is just beautiful, and so alert!”
“Thank you.” Luella beamed down at her baby. “I was not aware that having an elven child would mean a quicker pregnancy than usual. Tasarin said that babies not only grow rapidly in their mother's womb, but will also age at somewhat of an accelerated rate until he is at optimal health. That is why he is so aware even being only weeks old. He has been the most perfect child, Ashlynn. He almost never cries and is always so awake when I hold him or talk to him.”
“I wonder if that's the elven even-temper in him,” Jaryn guessed. Lochlainn held tightly to his father's shoulder and leaned down, pointing to Tiyal. “Aye, lad. That's a baby. You and he will be great allies some day. Can you say 'baby'?” All eyes turned to Lochlainn, making him give a shy little laugh and nuzzle into the side of Jaryn's neck. “I shall take that as a no.”
Taking Tiyal back, Luella handed him to a nanny, still smiling. “We should go to the dining hall. I would hate to keep the others waiting.”
Supper was full of both rich food and discussion. The table was surrounded by the royal couples, as well as men and women of position who resided both permanently and temporarily inside of Montania. Every moment was filled with conversation and much laughter. Ashlynn, long skilled at multi-tasking while in a gathering like this, carried on a light conversation with a young man from Braemar. He was telling her what it was like to live in a country that was more well known for their winged Volarim and how surprised people were to hear that non-winged people lived there as well. Ashlynn laughed at all the appropriate times and gave sure signs of acknowledgment, but from the corner of her eye she watched both Tasarin and Luella.
There was a time when Tasarin could fade into the background when so many people were present. Like most of his race, he preferred to sit back and listen, observing rather than participating. He would certainly answer any question asked of him, but to engage in long conversation was a stretch for him. The elves had always believed that fewer words were better, and that much more could be expressed through silence with expression, eye contact, and even touching. Talking almost seemed above them, something she had learned for herself during her week in Mirasean, the island of the elves, when Tasarin and Luella married almost a year ago. Watching him now, he spoke with both Jaryn and Jaryn's squire in a way that was almost animated. Every once in a while his hands would move in some small gesture, an entirely human thing to do, and there was levity in his expression. Of course Jaryn laughed heartily, that was his way. To see Tasarin behaving as casually as he was made Ashlynn both amused and pleased at the same time.
Every now and then she would catch a look between Luella and Tasarin, one that warmed her heart. She knew what it was to love so deeply that it was impossible to spend too much time without laying eyes on one another. Even now she and Jaryn occasionally met gazes across the table. A secret smile would pass between them, something flirtatious and loving that she was glad to see between Tasarin and Luella.
Giggling as she conversed with a young Caedian woman, Luella seemed more alive than Ashlynn could remember seeing her before. Perhaps she was coming into her own as a high queen, as a grown, married woman and no longer a spoiled, naive princess, or maybe it was motherhood that made her seem so different. Whatever the cause, it made Ashlynn happy to see her so at ease with herself. She said as much to Luella when the company had gone and the two women walked down the quiet halls of Montania together later that night.
Lochlainn crawled before them, leading them to some unknown destination. It was usually Jaryn who walked beside her at that hour, as it had been since their son had begun to be mobile. Both of them loved seeing him grow and learn more about his world every day, and took joy in that time together as a family, following him as he began to explore the world around him. The change of company was odd at first, but she was happy to have a few moments alone with Luella.
“I cannot explain it,” Luella said quietly, her steps slow so as not to overtake Lochlainn. “For the first time in my life I feel like I am certain of my place. I have a husband whom I adore, a son who will grow up in a world where he will not have to fear stepping outside the castle walls, and a kingdom who obeys my rule, not out of fear but respect.”
Ashlynn nodded, understanding all too well. “Assuredness is a blessed thing when you can hold onto it. I am glad to see you so well suited for this new chapter in your life. I would have loved for you to
bring Tiyal on our walk, though. Honestly, I cannot see how you can ever put him down.”
Luella gave a soft laugh and a wave of her hand. “The nannies and wet nurse have him well in their care. They know more about what he needs than I do.”
The answer made Ashlynn's brows draw together, a confused smile on her lips. “Of course they do. They have all done this many times over.” She looked at the back of Lochlainn as he paused to investigate a table and chairs set off to the side of the hallway. “The more time you spend with your son, the more you will learn about him. You will come to understand what makes him laugh, what makes him cry, and what brings him comfort.”
“Really, I am much too busy. I trust those who care for him daily.”
Unsure of how to respond, Ashlynn simply kept silent. She knew Luella had grown up with parents who barely paid her or her brother any attention after a certain age and that this detachment probably seemed normal to Luella, but it made Ashlynn's heart hurt. This, perhaps more than even the intimate conversations the two of them had shared, threw their differing childhoods into such sharp contrast. While she and Kenayde lost their birth parents when they were young, they'd grown up with very hands-on parents in Wessely and Emiline. It was hard to imagine being left in the care of nannies and tutors all the time. She had to wonder how Tasarin was with Tiyal. There had never been children at Altaine that he'd had to interact with, and she didn't want to imagine him as a cold or detached father. It was hard not to, however, with the emotionless picture Luella painted herself.
“I will not tell you how to be a parent,” Ashlynn ventured carefully after a few minutes of silence, “but I will say this: remember the times in your life when you felt the most loved and valued, the people who gave you affirming attention and those you wish had been the ones to spend those moments with you. Time passed is time you can never get back, but the future can always be changed for the better.”
Though Luella's expression was fairly neutral, there was a flash of sadness in her eyes. Before Ashlynn could address it, however, she lifted her head and smiled brightly. “Have you seen Nuala or Cavalon at all recently? Goodness, Lucien must be all over the place by now.”