by D. E. Morris
He turned back to kiss her once more. “We'll talk more later.” Before she could say anything else he was out the door and gone, leaving Ashlynn with that familiar sense of guilt.
“What in the world did you do to your jacket?”
She saw Zarra with the torn hem in her hands, her brows drawn together. “Nothing you need worry about.” Taking the garment from Zarra, she gave it to one of the other girls with the order to have it brought to the seamstress to be repaired. As the three younger women busied themselves with dressing Ashlynn and setting her hair in pins and curls, she let her mind wander to the day Jaryn promised her, when there would be time spent with no one else but him, and prayed they could find a day like that soon.
~*~*~*~
It was becoming easier as the days passed for Jaryn to know the places to look for either Tasarin or Luella. The halls of Montania were confusing and unfamiliar to him and he often found himself walking in parts of the castle he'd never even seen when wandering off on his own. When he was younger he and his mentor had been invited to sing at a feast Tadhg was throwing, but he'd never seen more of Montania than the banquet hall and the kitchen where he was allowed to eat after everyone else had gone to bed. Luella had been in attendance along with her brother, Laidley. The memory had faded over time, but once Luella had become part of his extended family, it came back a little clearer. She was young and pretty in her gown and jewels, dancing and flirting with the men that followed her around the room, watching her every movement. She'd been giggly, too, Jaryn remembered clearly. She was the center of attention for many that night, and had enjoyed every moment of it. It made him wonder if she'd met Tasarin back then, how well they would have gotten on and whether or not they would have ended up together as they were now.
Turning down a hallway that was now familiar, Jaryn almost ran right into Luella. Both of them drew up short in surprise, then laughed when they realized who was before them. “Good morning,” Jaryn said with a smirk. “Here I thought we wouldn't see you before noon again.”
Luella narrowed her eyes in good humor. “Unlike some rulers who go to bed early, there are those of us who stay up well past the setting sun to make sure things are accomplished.” She quirked a playful brow. “I will have you know that, for once, I was actually able to make myself sleep at a decent hour last night...well, depending on your definition of decent, I should say. It happens; it is rare, but it happens.” She shrugged. “I assume you are looking for Tasarin.”
“Tasarin, you, either one works for me unless you're busy.”
“Not at all.”
Falling into step together, Jaryn couldn't help but notice Luella's retinue was almost double Ashlynn's. Instead of three ladies, Luella had five, though there were no guards trailing them, which he found oddly discomforting. “It's strange to me,” he mused. “Most of my life I've been able to wander and go where I will on my own, without anyone following me or watching out for my safety. Now I've gotten so used to them shadowing my steps nearly everywhere I go that I feel naked without them.”
Luella gave him a sympathetic smile. “Growing up with a man like Tadhg on the throne - someone who had enemies lurking in every shadow and took a sick sense of pride from it - Laidley and I were guarded every second of the day. We opened our eyes in the morning and there they were. When we went to bed at night, our guards were the last ones to bid us good dreams. If we woke up in the middle of the night, they were right outside our doors. When I came back here I wanted none of it.”
“Despite all that has happened in the past year?”
She nodded. “I know Ashlynn lives that way now, as do you. Given what she went through this past summer, I do not fault her for wanting extra security. I simply do not feel the need for it. We are safe here, I am certain of it.”
Jaryn frowned. “Forgive me for saying so, but that's what your father thought and he was poisoned in his own chambers.”
“Tadhg had all the men in his realm watching out for him and yet, as you say, he was still able to be killed. Sometimes even the most vigilant of men are cut down because the Giver deems it so.”
“Speaking of which...” Jaryn could feel a defensive wall rising up around Luella and was eager to change the subject. “One of my men...well, not really one of my men, not a friend, either...”
“An acquaintance?” Luella supplied.
“Yes, let's go with that. He came over on the ship with us to settle some family business here and it seems he got himself into some sort of a scrape. I wanted to check on him to make sure he was all right but wasn't sure where to look.”
Luella's brow wrinkled. “Killian? Jaryn, you forget that I met him when we visited Ashlynn in the fall. He is Rowan's adopted father, correct?”
Jaryn shook his head. “That's right, I forgot.”
“You were consumed with the well-being of your wife. It is to be expected. Anyway, Tasarin and I spoke with him this morning.”
This surprised Jaryn. “Oh?”
“He had concerns about some of the chaos left in Jessiah's wake. Apparently while he was here he took several women to bed and two of them now claim to have young children by him. Killian wanted to set up accounts for them.” Luella frowned. “He was concerned not only for the mothers but for what the children may become if they are telling the truth. We still know so very little about what Jessiah truly was.”
“He was a demon,” said Jaryn confidently. “To my knowledge, demons cannot reproduce the way man can.”
“Well Killian was still right to bring it to our attention. This way we can keep an eye on them to see if something comes of their parentage.” She shook her head. “Setting up accounts for them is far too generous, if you ask me. I think the more likely situation is that these women are poor and saw Killian's fine clothing so they decided to take advantage. Anyway, one of my ladies saw him before he came to us and told me his arm was wounded, but he refused to have it looked at. I cannot imagine it to be too bad if he wanted it left alone. By the description of the tourniquet, he had a generous lady help him out.”
This made Jaryn grin. “That's half the point of suffering an injury for us men, I'm unashamed to tell you. A pretty face makes the pain worth it.” He sighed and shook his head, his grin disappearing. “Honestly, I'm glad to hear he's had some positive attention. He has not had it easy at Altaine.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have never been unlucky enough to have Ashlynn purposefully ignore your existence. She has this incredible ability to make you feel like you are the lowest creature to ever crawl the face of the earth. When she walks into the same room that you happen to be in, it's like all of the warmth has been sucked away and you would gladly throw yourself into the fireplace to be rid of the self-loathing she promotes.”
Luella giggled behind her hand. “I had forgotten how dramatic bards could be.”
He gave a lopsided smirk. “Some habits die hard. I will say, having been where Killian is now, outside of her social graces, I am actually not that far off.”
“You have to remember, Jaryn, that he looks alarmingly similar to the man who nearly killed her; Tasarin said the differences between them are few and hard to find. If all Ashlynn sees when she looks at Killian is Jessiah, it is hardly a wonder that she treats him so coldly.”
“She isn't the only one. Lilia turns and walks the other way as soon as she sees him, and she treats Ashlynn as though she's a stranger.” Jaryn scratched his bearded chin. “Things have been very uncomfortable at Altaine this winter.”
Luella shook her head in confusion. “Then why let him stay? Surely he knows it is his presence that causes such tension. What would drive Ashlynn to allow him a place at court?”
“Rowan.” It was a simple answer, but one Luella understood. She had been there in the early days of Ashlynn's recovery. It was a rare moment when the little girl couldn't be found at Ashlynn's side. They had a bond that was almost like mother and daughter, and made it understandable why she would ha
ve a hard time letting Rowan go.
“We make sacrifices to keep those we love close.”
“Indeed,” agreed Jaryn. “I can only pray it will get better with time. I feel like her paranoia has grown exponentially since she recovered, and being reminded of Jessiah on a daily basis only makes it worse.” He glanced over his shoulder at the trailing ladies. Like Ashlynn's newest girls, they gave gracious smiles but quickly averted their eyes to look at their feet as they walked. He lowered his voice and moved a bit closer to Luella, asking quietly, “Any word on that sound we heard the other night?”
“Very little, I am sorry to say. My girls tell me some of the villagers were bothered as well, many of them sharing similar symptoms. So far there has been no singular thread of commonality between them, so it has been impossible to identify what it is or was that led them all to the same experience. This will not be a quick investigation.”
The answer made Jaryn sigh heavily. “I know that. I'd like to think Ashlynn knows that as well. I just worry about her being so tightly wound. She still has moments when she feels weak and overtired, and all this added stress over a new mystery won't be good for her. It certainly can't be good for the baby, either.”
Luella's answering frown was small. “There is only so much you can do for her, Jaryn. Just be there to listen when she needs you to be, talk to her...do all the things you have been doing all along. Everything will be fine. Your baby will be fine, just as strong and healthy as Lochlainn, I am certain. Are you hoping for another son?”
“Actually, no.” A soft glow entered his expression. “Though my bond with Rowan is not as strong as Ashlynn's, I am quite close to her as well. It was hard to give her over to Killian when he was found, but it made me realize that I would love a little girl of my own.”
“There is nothing quite like the bond between a father and his daughter. I had it with Tadhg for a time. Those are certainly cherished memories.”
Jaryn glanced at Luella carefully, her comment reminding him of the conversation he'd had with Ashlynn not long ago. “We learn how to be parents by those who parented us. My own father was never a good father to me, but the Giver sent someone who would be and raised me up in a good way.”
Luella tried to hide a bitter scowl, but her eyes gave away the resentment she carried. “Perhaps that is why I am so uncertain as to what to do for my own child. I was given everything I could ever want from my father, and my mother always looked upon me as though she pitied me for even existing.”
They rounded the corner together, walking into the presence chamber where several men and women were gathered into small groups, talking with one another. Killian was among them, speaking with a well dressed couple off to the side of the room. As soon as Luella was noticed, all conversation stopped, men bowed low, and women gave deep curtsies. She acknowledged none of them, and instead of leaving Jaryn to take her rightful place on the throne to begin a day of hearing petitions and arguments, she turned to face him and give him her complete attention. She waited to speak, however, until her ladies joined another group of women to strike up conversations again. All but lost in the din of chatter around them, Luella looked down at the many rings on her fingers. “Being a mother should be the most natural thing in the world to a woman, yet I feel more confident signing documents and settling feuds than I do holding my own son.”
“It will get easier,” Jaryn promised. “The more time you spend with him, the more you'll realize it's not as terrifying and impossible as it seems. When he lights up just seeing your face and you give him that attention he will soon seek, you'll know exactly what to do.”
“I hope you are right.” Her gaze flickered to the side and her expression changed dramatically; any doubt she had expressed disappeared in an instant and was replaced with a confident, genial smile. “Killian.” Jaryn turned to see the older man approaching and watched him bow.
“Your Majesties.”
Luella glanced at the couple he had left. “I see you found Lord Arnold.”
“Yes,” Killian answered. “He will have the accounts set up by the end of the day.”
“It is very kind of you to arrange for those children and their mothers. Above and beyond the call of duty, if you ask me, since the likelihood of Jessiah truly being able to procreate is next to impossible.”
Jaryn looked pointedly at Killian's arm, a teasing smile on his lips. “Word around the castle is that you came home injured. I should say you're quite lucky if a cut was all you got out of dealing with the mess Jessiah left in his wake. Did one of his lady friends take a sword to you?”
Killian's face was devoid of expression as he, too, looked down at his arm, though nothing could be seen beneath his new shirt. “I learned that a woman, when cornered, can be more dangerous than a feral cat.”
This made Jaryn laugh. “Aye, though I think you'd be more accurate comparing her to a feral dragon.”
Luella raised a brow at him, which only made him try to hide his chortle behind a fist and disguise it as a cough. “How is your arm?” she asked, her tone amused to show her good nature.
“It will be fine, truly. As I said before, the cut was clean and not too deep. I have survived much worse, though I did have it looked over to be certain, just as you suggested.”
It seemed as though the men and women closest to the trio in the middle of the room had quieted, even stopped talking all together in hopes of overhearing something, though as Jaryn looked around at each of them, they all somehow appeared to be engaged with one another, jumping back into lively conversation when his attention fell upon them. “I thought Altaine was bad.”
Luella smirked at his muttered complaint. “Please. Montania is one of the oldest kingdoms in the seven nations. Eavesdropping and court gossip is not merely a pastime here, it is a fine art.”
“Yes, I realized as much when one of Ashlynn's ladies came to get her ready for the day and mentioned Killian's injury.” He grinned at the older man. “Give it a few hours and I'm sure you'll have been injured in an epic battle with a sixteen-foot tall cyclops.”
A smile flitted across Killian's lips. “If that were the only injury I had sustained, then I would be a lucky man indeed.”
“Ah, but the glory and attention make the pain of any wound worth it.” Luella's lashes fluttered at Jaryn. “Right?”
“Jaryn, there you are.”
Sparing her husband from answering, Ashlynn entered the room wearing a blue riding gown and her heavy winter cloak. Chatter stilled, heads and knees bent once more, and Jaryn looked his wife over with confusion. “What are you all dressed up for?”
“I thought to take a trip out into the woods to visit the monastery. I cannot fathom being here and not visiting.”
Jaryn glanced out the window, the wrinkles on his brow deepening. “You mean to take a carriage out now? Have you looked outside? Those clouds mean snow.”
Ashlynn laughed, light and musical as if Jaryn was the most adorable, naive creature she'd seen all day. She took his face in her hands and shook her head. “Of course it would be foolish to take a carriage out now. There is no sense in all that work and preparation for such a short trip.” She kissed his nose. “I will take a horse.”
“A horse? Ashlynn...” He was careful as he glanced about them and lowered his voice. “Need I remind you that you are in the first trimester of your pregnancy?”
“I have all the reminder I need when I am sick every morning and every night, thank you.” She smiled up at him. “Come with me. It has been ages since you and I went riding together.”
There was genuine regret in his eyes when he answered with a grimace. “I wish I could, my love, but we leave tomorrow morning and there are still some things I need to discuss with Tasarin.”
Ashlynn's smile dimmed, her hands dropping to his chest and her lips pursing. “Very well. I can go on my own. After all, I know these woods quite well.”
Jaryn breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “Promise me you'll take great care. Noth
ing faster than a walk.”
“I promise.”
He kissed her forehead. “Good. I'll have your guards readied on my way to see Tasarin.”
“No need.” Ashlynn dropped her hands, her voice no longer the whispered tones meant just for her husband. “It will be a quick trip in and out since I will not have the pleasure of my husband's company. Thinking about it now, I suppose it is best that you will not be with me. My sole purpose for this outing is to pay my respects and I would feel better about doing it on my own. Besides, it is in the middle of the morning in the kingswood. What would I have to fear if, as you suggest, a storm may be coming? Even bandits seek shelter when they know they need to.”
“There are weekly patrols of the woods and it has been some time since any unseemly characters were found within,” Luella told Jaryn. “The monastery is not that far from the edge of town on horseback, and she has the gift of fyre.”
“I don't care if the monastery is in the middle of the village itself,” argued Jaryn, noting the pinched expression on Ashlynn's face. “You're taking someone with you. I'll not have my wife riding into any forest alone, not in your condition.”
Defiance crept into Ashlynn's eyes, and he was certain there would be a full blown argument, right there in the presence chambers with every Caedian lord and lady present to bear witness and repeat to any that would listen. Ashlynn, however, was well aware of the audience as well and glanced around her, pausing when her attention fell upon Killian. “Very well.” Returning her gaze to her husband, she said, “I will take him.”
Both Luella and Jaryn looked from Killian to Ashlynn in surprise, but it was Jaryn who had to confirm, “You'll take Killian?”
Ashlynn looked at the older man with an unreadable expression. “Can you wield a sword with that injured arm of yours?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“All settled then.” Her head turned back in Jaryn's direction. “I will have someone with me.”