by D. E. Morris
“That seems odd, doesn't it? Why in the world would Jaryn summon you to welcome Killian back?”
“It seems I am about to find out.”
Hesitant, Lilia bit her bottom lip. “Ashlynn, I am not certain how aware you are, but there are rumors that have been circulating about you and Killian.”
“Believe me, I am quite aware.” Ashlynn forced a smile onto her lips. “Go help my sister. Be as good to her as you were to me.”
“I will be better,” Lilia quipped, turning on her heel with a wink and disappearing down another corridor.
Ashlynn gathered her skirts in her hands and took the stairs down to the ground level of the castle. There were so many more people milling about that she had to keep her face stern and her eyes forward, else she would be stopped every few paces to be pulled into conversation and revelry. Every man she passed bowed his head and every lady bent their knees. The sound of her shoes clicking on the hard stone floor echoed off the walls around her and was lost only when conversations began again in her wake.
The southern bailey was the largest in Altaine, used mostly by visitors to the castle and where parties gathered their horses before a hunt. To be summoned here and the reason for it was beyond her understanding. A small crowd blocked the tall, open doors. As Ashlynn approached, those at the back turned to see her and began a parting of the people. By the time she reached the doors there was a clear path for her to walk outside. She immediately looked for Jaryn and saw him waiting, but something beyond him stole her attention and made her catch her breath.
“Snow Steps?”
The chestnut hackney with white hooves stood perfectly still with Killian holding him by the reins. Now more than confused, Ashlynn looked first to Killian, then to her husband. “What is this?”
“A gift,” Killian answered, no discernible expression on his face and his tone even.
Jaryn slid his arm around Ashlynn's waist and kissed her cheek. “Tasarin and Luella had him in with some other horses they were going to be trading. Apparently you took a liking to him?”
“I did,” she replied, wonder in her voice. “They were going to trade him?”
“An agreement with one of the lesser Caedian kingdoms,” supplied Killian. “When I heard about the deal, I told High Queen Luella that you had formed a bond with him and she insisted he be yours.”
Biting her lip, Ashlynn looked up at Jaryn. “He is really mine?”
Jaryn laughed. “Would I tease you like that, my love? Of course he is!” She let go of him and grabbed her skirts, rushing forward to greet her new horse. He bobbed his head and snorted, giving a sharp flick of his tail before Ashlynn rested a hand against the side of his face and whispered her greeting. Jaryn gave the animal an appraising once over. “This is no simple riding horse.”
“Not at all, Your Majesty,” answered Killian. “A hackney is known for its speed and stamina. They are perfect for drawing carriages, but also have personalities similar to more domesticated animals, which makes them good for singular, personal use as well.” He watched the way the horse leaned into Ashlynn's touch. “It is important to find a horse for an expectant mother who knows her needs and will bend to them. This one will run when told and walk beautifully when directed.”
Jaryn's attention slid from the horse to Killian, now silently sizing him up as well. “And did High Queen Luella tell you all of this?”
“No, Your Majesty. My father was both a breeder and a trainer, which meant I grew up in the stables. I know almost as much about horses as I do about myself.” Killian gave Snow Steps' back a heavy pat. “There were many a night I spent in the stalls when a mare was foaling or walking a stallion with colic.” His eyes went to Ashlynn once more.
Jaryn casually looked to his wife, who was paying attention only to the horse, then back to Killian, expressionless. “Her Majesty was quite generous to simply give a horse away that was part of a trade agreement.” Killian nodded, but said nothing. Moving to Ashlynn's side, Jaryn stroked the horse's neck, brows furrowed in thought. He looked down at Ashlynn and she looked up at him, a questioning smile on her face.
“What are you thinking?” she asked softly.
He smirked and intimated, “You know me, always a million things at once. What comes most to mind is a position for Killian, here.”
Ashlynn looked quickly at Killian, though her gaze swiftly returned to her husband. “A position?”
“Ashlynn, you can't expect him to stay here with no income forever, and hopefully if I elevate his status, the court will see I hold no suspicions of the relationship the two of you are supposedly meant to be in.” She winced, but Jaryn rubbed her arm in encouragement, then raised his voice so the other man could be part of the conversation. “We will be losing our Master of Horse soon and haven't discussed yet who will take his place.” He grinned winningly at Killian. “Who better than a man who knows so much about horses already?”
Killian bowed his head. “It is a generous offer, Your Majesty, but I could not-”
“Don't be ridiculous,” said Jaryn, cutting him off. “We love having Rowan here and know you can't sit still inside of a castle and brood forever. This position will give you a title as well as a salary, and permanent quarters here inside Altaine...unless you have decided to return to Ibays. What do you say?”
Killian kept his eyes locked with Jaryn's, his expression giving nothing away. A sudden, “Da!” from the parapet above made him look up and break into a smile so tender, it almost made him look like a different person.
“Hello, my daughter!” Rowan's unruly red curls disappeared over the edge as she undoubtedly hurried to make her way down. This seemed to sway something within Killian; when he returned his attention to Jaryn, he gave a decisive nod. “If only to provide for my daughter, I will accept the position.”
“Brilliant! Then as my new Master of Horse, I will let you take Snow Steps to the stables and you can get to know the man you will be replacing. I have no doubt of his ability to make you feel welcome and keep you well informed.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Da!” Rowan fearlessly flew down the steps, Zarra breathless in her wake, and threw herself at Killian. He let go of the reins and crouched in time to catch her, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he seemed able. “Cronaím thú.”
“I missed you as well.” He kissed Rowan's head and slid an arm under her rump to scoop her up and take the reins again with his free hand. “I have news for you: High King Jaryn and High Queen Ashlynn have deemed me worthy of a permanent position here at the castle.”
If Rowan's expression could have brightened any more, it certainly did when she grinned. “Really?”
“Really,” answered Jaryn, unable to stop himself from mimicking her joy. “If that's all right with you, of course...Lady Rowan.”
“I'm a lady!”
“You certainly are,” laughed Ashlynn.
“Come on,” said Killian, setting Rowan back on her feet. “Help me get this one settled in the stables and I will tell you all about my adventures in Caedia.”
“Did you bring me back anything?”
“I always do, do I not?”
Ashlynn and Jaryn stood close together, watching the retreating pair and the high stepping horse. “What made you decide to do that?” she asked quietly, hiding her confusion behind a smile.
“Besides what I said before, I have my reasons, love. I always have my reasons.”
~*~*~*~
In the northern wing of the castle, the halls were less crowded than the rest of Altaine. Many of the rooms were claimed by permanent or semi-permanent residents and were not open to wanderers. Guards stood at the entrances and exits to make sure no one slipped by to explore, giving those who resided there a sense of peace about their belongings and privacy being kept safe. When Elas approached the guards at the end of the hallway that merged with the western wing, he barely had to pause to give them time to stand aside and let him pass. The high life was never so
mething he wanted for himself, though he had to admit it had some luxuries that couldn't be ignored.
Life at Altaine was more complicated than it had been at Oceana, and that life, in and of itself, had been head-spinning to adapt to after years living alone underground. The small castle on the cliff had scant men at arms within its walls and they certainly didn't follow Kenayde or Wessely around as they moved from room to room. Though the king had a few squires just as he did here, Kenayde only had one lady to serve her, nothing like the retinue she seemed to collect here at Altaine. Elas himself, still a lord in his own right because of the small parcel of land in Caedia gifted to him by Luella last year, hated all the people about. All the propriety they lived with on a daily basis was elevated now; fake smiles on faces where eyes told different stories than their expressions made him realize just how duplicitous life at high court could be, yet he would never dream of trying to send them away if it was what made Kenayde happy. He knew the wedding, all the frill and flair of it, was more about the bride than the groom anyway. Just a little while longer and it would all be done, then they could go away together and it would just be the two of them for a time.
Though he wasn't exactly sure where to start, the young water dragon recalled directions Zarra had just given him. “Take the fourth corridor on the left down from the western entrance, then count nine doors on the right. Go through there and it will be the second right-hand door down the first hallway on the left. Also, take these.” She'd shoved a cheesecloth into his hand, her big green eyes pleading. “They're sugar coated nuts. I got her a whole bag of them when I went into town the other day, but the ride back was long, and I got hungry...”
Elas counted nine doors, then turned as directed, hoping he recalled the rest of the directions correctly. As he drew up to the door he sought, he stood a moment, taking in the silence around him. How peaceful Mairead must be up here...and how dreadfully lonely. Raising a fist, he knocked. There was no answer, no sound from within to reveal movement on the other side. It made Elas wonder if he truly had gotten the right door. Deciding one more knock wouldn't hurt, he rapped again and waited, straining to hear anything that might give an occupant away. There was nothing, and then suddenly, “Who is it?”
The question was quiet, the voice on the other side dampened by the thick door between them, but definitely female and Sinessian. All at once, Elas felt foolish for even being there. He ran a hand through his spiky blue hair, wondering why on earth Ashlynn would think this might work. Still he had promised, and he never went back on his word.
Clearing his throat, Elas finally replied, “It's...um...it's Elas. McGee. Elas McGee. I'm marrying Kenayde?” He made a pained face, feeling terribly awkward. “Am I speaking with Mairead?”
There was a pause before she answered. “Yes.”
“Right. Good. Uh...How's it going in there?” His own question sounded ridiculous and he shook his head.
Another pause, this time a bit longer. “What may I do for you, my lord?”
The title made him wince. Both of them held the same social status, though Mairead came rightfully into hers. He was still so unaccustomed to being addressed in such a formal manner, and would never be used to an equal using his title. “Ashlynn sent me to speak with you. Also, I've got a gift...well, half a gift...from Zarra.”
“Thank you. If you leave it there, I will fetch it later.”
“Ashlynn wondered if you might let me in, so that I could talk to you face to face.” There was no answer for the longest time, and Elas shifted on his feet. “I know this is incredibly inappropriate, visiting you in your chambers like this, but these are rather rare circumstances. I'm certain you've heard enough of my story from Ashlynn to know who I am, though we've never truly met.”
“...yes, I know who you are.”
“Then you know I can understand better than anyone what it is you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror, or how the panic rises up in your throat when you think you might have to face another human being. I know what it is like to feel so ashamed of yourself that you want nothing more than to be shut away and forgotten.” They were feelings that had begun to creep back in, along with the racing moments of rage, each time his human form slipped into that of his old, half-scaled and scarred state. Knowing how consuming those emotions could be was the one reason Elas agreed to try to get Mairead to let him in. It was the most isolating thing in the world and something he would never wish on anyone. “Please, Mairead. All I'm asking is for you to let me in. I'll leave the door open, if it would make you feel more comfortable. You can even stay hidden if you want. Just, please let me in.”
As before, there was silence in response to his pleading. Disappointed, he took the cheesecloth from his pocket and placed it on the ground before the door. “I'll go now. Make sure you get this gift from Zarra before the mice do.” Standing, he straightened his jerkin. “Be well, Mairead.” Walking back down the way he'd come, he was only a few paces away from Mairead's room when he heard a latch on the door click. He paused and turned, thinking she would come out to get the nuts, but when the door didn't even open, he slowly made his way back. The door was open just a crack, which Elas took as a welcome sign. He picked up the nuts and gingerly pushed the door open. “Hello?”
“You may come in.”
The room into which the door opened was a stark contrast of light and shadows. As the sun passed over Altaine, it left half the room in cool, deceiving darkness while the other was lit as brightly as the courtyard in mid-morning. Elas looked about at the rich fabrics and polished furniture, knowing that the finest trappings in the world were still only that: trappings. “Mairead?”
“I am here.”
He followed the sound of the voice and saw the woman sitting on the windowsill, half hidden behind tall, heavy embroidered curtains and masked in black shadows. She wore a gown of black with a pink shift underneath, simple but fit for a woman of her stature. Her hair, catching the sunlight streaming through the window behind her, shone golden as though it were on fire. She was beautiful and truly could have passed for Ashlynn if the situation called for it, but there was a fear on the half of her face that Elas could see, an uncertainty in her eyes that brought back many emotions for him. There was no moment so vulnerable as the first time he let himself be seen by human eyes after his own attack. His family saw him and immediately rejected him. No doubt Mairead was fearing the very same thing from those she loved most.
“Please close the door.”
The request was soft, her voice almost a whisper. Elas did as asked, then turned and raised the cheesecloth with half a smile. “Zarra sent me with sugar coated nuts. She insisted there was a whole bag of them at one point, but apparently this is all that's left.” Mairead smiled but said nothing. It prompted Elas to take a few steps from the door to be a little closer to her. “She misses you very much, you know. So does Lilia. I hear her when she speaks of you to Kenayde. It seems you all have formed a bond of sisterhood.”
“Indeed.” She watched him carefully, never looking away from him even when his gaze swept the room in a nervous manner. “Forgive me for not being able to offer any wine or tea, my lord. The servants have yet to bring me any.”
“Please, call me Elas. I am much more comfortable on familiar terms even though we've just met.”
“As you wish.”
He glanced at a chest at the foot of Mairead's bed, only feet away from her, and motioned with his hand. “May I sit?”
“If you would prefer.”
He wasn't sure what would make him feel more comfortable, constantly shifting on his feet or sitting and bouncing his legs to keep himself calm. It was unexpected that he was allowed entrance and he knew how important this moment was. If he messed it up, he'd feel terrible having to give Ashlynn a less than hopeful report. Choosing to sit, he crossed the room and lowered himself onto the chest, setting the nuts beside him. It was hard to think of what to say so he looked around once more and nodded. “You have nice
rooms. Quiet.”
“You did not come here to see my rooms.” There was a touch of pity in Mairead's voice. It must not have been hard for her to pick up on his nervousness. “Did Ashlynn have a specific message for me?”
Elas gave a quiet chuckle. “No. If she had, this might be going a bit smoother. Forgive me my anxiety. I don't want to say anything wrong or react poorly to anything you might share.” He looked at the portion of her face that he could see, the left side, his brows coming together. “I don't take lightly the fact that I am the first one you've let in here other than the servants.” She said nothing, but held his gaze evenly, prompting him to continue. “Did you hear the story of how I was disfigured?”
“You were attacked by wolves when you were young, your first time shifting into your water dragon form, if I am not mistaken.”
Nodding, Elas looked at the floor, memories of that day all too easy to recall. “It was horrific. I thought the pain of the transformation alone would kill me, but then being pounced on by three wolves all at once...I swear the only reason they didn't kill me was because I was shifting into a dragon and adrenaline took over. In that shape, I didn't think anything was wrong. I bled and I hurt, yes, but the wounds closed up and the pain eventually faded. When I finally shifted back to my human form I realized the left side of my body where I'd been bitten and torn hadn't all changed back with me. I was left with torn clothes and torn skin, scales where they should have disappeared. My fingers looked more like talons and I was completely blind in my left eye.” He paused a moment, the memories painful. Reaching up, he touched the left side of his face to feel his skin and touch his lips. “I knew right away that my face wasn't quite right. It felt like it had been pulled back. When I saw my reflection in the water, I saw this half man, half monster with half a dragon grin. I don't think I ever screamed so loud or cried so hard.”