by AnonYMous
As soon as I walked into the restaurant, I began looking around, and I spotted Jackie at a table overlooking the river.
“Hey, Blythe,” she was waving toward me. “I hope you don’t mind me choosing the table.”
I assured her it was a lovely table, and I settled into a chair across from her. The ambiance was wonderful, and the company of a good friend made it even better.
“Would you like to have a drink before you order?” the waiter asked.
I hadn’t had a drink in a long while, and I didn’t want to become giddy and then have to drive back home. Jackie and I decided on iced tea with lots of ice and extra lemon instead. Soon, we were chatting away like schoolgirls, catching up on everything that had happened since the last time we’d talked.
The conversation eventually turned to the usual subject: why I wasn’t seeing anyone. “You know, Blythe, it isn’t good for you to live in the past. Jay was a wonderful man, but he’s gone and you’re alive. It would be good for Andy, too, if you met someone, so maybe eventually he could have a father again.”
I knew Jackie meant well, but I really wished she’d drop it. If I wasn’t interested in someone like that cute guy I’d bumped into at the post office yesterday, I surely wouldn’t be interested in any more uncomfortable blind dates.
“Everything’s fine the way it is, Jackie,” I assured her as firmly as I could. “Andy is all right, too. He doesn’t even remember having a father, so it’s not something he misses.”
“Listen, Blythe, I’ll come right out with it. Jim has this friend, and we were wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner to meet him.”
“I don’t think so,” I countered.
“Someone else will snap him up if you don’t,” Jackie threatened.
“I don’t want to snap anyone up. I’ve told you so a hundred times,” I reminded her. “Jim must have an endless supply of friends, by the way. Or do you just keep offering me the same one over and over?”
Jackie pursed her lips. “Okay, but I think that you may be making a mistake. Eric—his name is Eric Chamberlain—is really a nice, sweet guy, and he loves kids. He’s got a lot going for him. A lot of women would love to have a man like him.”
“Jay was a nice guy, too,” I answered softly. “Yet, I’ve been in pain for four years so far because of what happened to him. The world’s just too unstable. We never know what’s going to happen next.”
“Well, if you change your mind, give me a call. There’s still a lot of good in the world, too, but if you hide in your house all the time, you’ll never see it.”
I knew Jackie was right, but I still couldn’t make myself take a chance, not yet—maybe never.
“Okay, but don’t hold your breath,” I told her. “Except for Andy, I don’t need a man in my life right now.”
We finished lunch and said our goodbyes, and I climbed into my car and headed back home. Pulling into the driveway, I found myself imagining how it would be to have someone waiting for me, waiting to hold me, to caress me, to whisper pretty words in my ear.
Inside the house, with the door closed and locked behind me, I lay down on the sofa for a moment and closed my eyes. I must have drifted off, because a face seemed to float in front of me, lips parted, smiling. “Jay, come closer,” I pleaded.
The face came closer, but it wasn’t Jay’s face; it was the face of the guy from the post office. I was shocked, dismayed. How could I be so disloyal to Jay? I felt like an adulteress.
Abruptly, I forced myself awake, out of the daydream, wondering again what was wrong with me. Maybe my life wasn’t exciting, but at least I knew what to expect. Changing anything would just be asking for trouble. I looked around; the house was so big, so empty.
The next couple of weeks passed rather uneventfully. Andy was still enjoying school and seemed to be adjusting well. I went on a couple of job interviews, but nobody had called me back yet.
Once in a while, the guy from the post office crossed my mind, but I quickly pushed him out. I never ran into him again, not that I had expected to. It was just as well. You couldn’t miss what you’d never had.
One Thursday night about a month after our lunch together, Jackie called again. “Look, Blythe,” she began, “do you remember me telling you about Eric Chamberlain, Jim’s friend? Well, we’re having him over tomorrow. Why don’t you just drop by? He’s still not dating anyone in particular.”
Lord help me, was she never going to give up? Why couldn’t she just let me live my life the way I wanted to?
“You could just show up and have one drink, couldn’t you?” Jackie cajoled. “Then, if you don’t like him, you won’t even have to stay for dinner. Okay?”
This was really beginning to annoy me. My mind raced for a way out, an escape from Jackie’s relentless pursuit of ending my singleness.
I couldn’t think of anything I hadn’t already used, so instead, I told her I’d show up, but on my own terms. “If I don’t like this guy, I’m leaving, and you have to promise to never bother me about men again.”
I patted myself on the back for my cleverness, because I had no intention of liking the guy, so Jackie would have to leave me alone after this.
“That’ll be great, Blythe. And I do promise, okay? Just come over tomorrow night at about seven. I’ll tell Eric you may not be able to stay for dinner. That way, if you leave, it won’t be so obvious that you don’t like him.” Jackie was so excited she could barely speak. I’m sure she thought that once she got me there, I would be putty in her hands.
“Okay, see you then,” I said, and I put down the receiver, smug in my knowledge that I had outwitted everyone and saved myself from further intrusions into my life.
The next day, I called Jay’s mother and asked if she could look after Andy for me that evening. I knew she would do it; she looked forward to any chance to be with Andy. I had kept in close contact with her. I liked her and still considered her my mother-in-law. She spoiled Andy, as all grandparents do with their grandchildren, and he adored her.
“I’m going to Grammy’s, I’m going to Grammy’s,” Andy chanted in his childish singsong voice, jumping up and down with glee. “And I get to stay all night!” He was beside himself. He hadn’t spent the night with Grammy for some time, and it would be good for both of them. I knew the importance of family ties, a connection to grandparents, and I wanted Andy to treasure these times.
Thus, I found myself free for the entire evening, and I didn’t even know if I was going to stay for dinner.
Since I didn’t go out very often, I decided to dress up in honor of my last hurrah. Besides, it would please Jackie; she’d think I was really trying. And I still had some pride.
I put on a nice little black dress, not too revealing but short enough to show off my legs. I used to receive a lot of compliments on my legs. I perked up my hair a little with a curling iron, and I carefully applied my makeup. Just for good measure, I sprayed a little perfume on my neck and on the insides of my elbows. When I was finished, I had to admit that I looked pretty darned good.
On my way to Jackie’s, I was more than a little jittery. It had been a long time since I’d been out at night, even to dinner.
When I arrived, I parked my car on the street, noting the strange truck in the driveway. My date must have arrived ahead of me. If he knew how much I was dreading this, he probably would have stayed home.
I rang the bell, and Jackie came to the door. “Come on in, honey,” she said excitedly, her eyes shining. “The guys are in the basement. Jim has a new project going on down there. I’ll tell them you’re here.”
Jackie looked lovely in a light blue dress, her hair swept up, a few strands falling down the back of her neck.
“Would you like a drink?” she asked.
“Oh, yes. A drink, please.” It had been so long since I’d had to meet a new man. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but I felt I could become one on this occasion. I asked Jackie to get me whatever she was having, and she came back with
a scotch on the rocks. It tasted like kerosene, but I gulped it down quickly and asked for another. The second one tasted a lot better.
“Blythe, just relax. You don’t have to marry the guy. It’s just drinks and dinner. What’s one evening out of your life?”
“You haven’t even told me what he looks like,” I mumbled, feeling foolish that I hadn’t even thought to ask. “I don’t want to seem shallow, but if I’m not attracted to the guy, it’s going to be very awkward.” A sense of apprehension made my tummy turn flips.
“I thought I told you that he was really cute. And he’s a really nice guy, too,” Jackie tried to reassure me. “Why else would I want my best friend to meet him?”
“If he’s so great, why doesn’t he have someone already?” I asked suspiciously.
“Well, you don’t have anyone, either, and you’re cute and nice. I don’t really know the details, but I think he’s been burned before, you know?”
“I suppose that’s possible,” I admitted.
I was already there, anyway, so I thought I would try to make the best of it if he wasn’t too awful.
Jackie went over to the basement door and called to her husband to come upstairs. “We’ll be right there, baby,” Jim yelled back. “Just let me put this stuff away.”
Soon, two sets of heavy footsteps clomped up the stairs, and I knew the moment of truth was upon me. I silently prayed he’d at least be interesting, pleasant enough to get us through dinner. I stared at the basement door as if it were alive, wondering what it would spew forth from its wooden jaws.
The door opened and Jim walked through, followed by a short, stocky, bald man with a huge, bulbous nose on which was propped a pair of black-rimmed, coke-bottle thick glasses. Oh, no! I felt like killing Jackie. She knew I didn’t like short, fat, bald men.
Where was my drink? I gulped it down and quickly poured myself another. They were beginning to taste better and better.
“Jackie, can I see you in the kitchen?” I was emboldened by scotch now, and I was going to let her have it.
Jackie’s face was red, and she was shaking her head in short, frantic jerks. She seemed to be having some sort of seizures. She didn’t head for the kitchen; she was probably afraid to.
“Blythe,” Jackie said hurriedly, “This is our next-door neighbor, Pete Collins.” Jackie nodded towards the grinning, bald-headed man. I was very confused.
“I didn’t know Pete was here,” she explained. “He must have come in while I was in the kitchen.”
“I was helping Jim out down there. I’m not staying,” Pete explained as he thrust his hand toward me. “Glad to meet you, though,” he added. “Maybe some other time.”
I grasped his hand with my clammy palm and shook it, relieved. I barely had time to recover when I heard another set of footsteps approaching on the stairs.
“This one has to be your date,” Jackie announced. “I don’t think there are any more down there.”
As the basement door once again swung open, I turned to face my date, realizing that things couldn’t be any worse than I had thought they were a moment ago. He stepped into the kitchen, and I stood face to face with the guy from the post office. I was so startled that I swallowed an ice cube whole and began to choke, turning my back for a moment, struggling to regain my composure.
“Eric Chamberlain, this is my best friend, Blythe Byrd,” Jackie said, putting her arm around my shoulders supportively. Eric looked at me inquisitively before recognition swept across his tanned face, followed by a broad smile. “Oh, yes, we’ve met. You do remember me, don’t you?” he asked, winking, his eyes dancing.
“Wait a minute. Do you two know each other?” Jim was confused now. He looked at Eric. “You didn’t say anything about knowing her when I told you about her,” Jim said, his eyes darting from Eric to me, then back again.
“I didn’t know her name. We sort of ran into each other a while back,” Eric explained, still grinning.
Well, he was certainly witty, and I had to admit I admire a witty man.
Eric was staring at me, his eyes penetrating, making me feel naked, exposed. My mind was racing. I wanted to run away again, but I was frozen to the spot.
Jackie excused herself to go into the kitchen, and Eric walked over and sat down next to where I’d collapsed into a jelly-like puddle on the couch. His cologne floated in the air, encircling me, surrounding me. I felt intoxicated, and I wasn’t sure if it was from my drink. I was actually dizzy. If only I could get out of there, I’d be okay.
“Well, I don’t know how you feel, but I couldn’t be more pleasantly surprised,” Eric almost whispered in my ear, his voice deep and husky. His eyes drew me like a magnet.
Just as I’d remembered, Eric’s body was magnificent. He was lithe and graceful, like an ice skater or a dancer, with those broad shoulders. I loved his curling black hair, those laughing gray eyes, and the soft curve of his lips.
“So, you two have met. Well, that is a coincidence,” a voice said from far, far away. Gradually, I remembered Jackie was there. And Jim. And Pete Collins, too. For a moment, I had been alone with Eric in our own private little world.
Pete didn’t stay long; he excused himself and left after one drink. As the evening progressed and the rest of us were chatting amiably, I realized that I was actually enjoying myself.
When Jackie went to check on the roast, I got up and followed. She grabbed my arm, whispering excitedly, “Well, don’t you just love him? Didn’t I tell you the truth? Isn’t he great?”
I admitted she had been right, and Jackie gloated triumphantly, asking when I was going to see him again. I explained to her that we hadn’t discussed that, as we’d barely been formally introduced. “Besides,” I said, “I had no intention of dating anyone. No way.”
“What do you mean, ‘no way’? Are you crazy?” Jackie demanded, annoyed.
“I didn’t ask you to set me up with him. You just won’t let me alone” I accused.
Jackie looked stricken. “Well, don’t get mad at me, you’d already met him anyway. Besides, he has a lot to offer a woman. You’d be a fool not to give him a chance.”
“Better to be a fool than to have another broken heart. I have to protect myself. I can’t let him get close enough to hurt me; I just can’t afford to take that chance,” I said more softly, not wanting to hurt Jackie’s feelings. “I need more time.”
“All right, I’ll butt out,” Jackie said, still sounding upset with me.
“I’ll stay for dinner, but after tonight, that’s the end.”
“You’re nuts, but I can’t live your life for you.” Jackie sighed and seemed resigned. “I really think it’s a dumb mistake, though.” She was shaking her blonde head, sort of rocking back and forth, arms folded. I knew she was genuinely concerned for me, but she was right. It was my life.
“Jackie, I’ll always love you for caring.” I gave her a hug and a little kiss on the cheek and then we went out and announced to the men that dinner was ready.
The meal was delicious and the conversation cordial. After dinner, we all sat around on the porch drinking coffee and talking some more. I had begun to relax and to feel comfortable with Eric. But then the conversation turned to employment, and I felt as if I’d been kicked in the gut, smashed against a wall.
Eric told us how he loved being a firefighter; how his greatest joy came from helping people, especially children, rescuing them from life-threatening situations. He went to the hospitals and visited some of the ones who were most special to him.
My heart was in my throat, and I felt as though I was going to be sick. I wished someone would rescue me from this life-threatening situation. Any hope for me and Eric was now dashed. It was too bad, really, the situation we were in. Eric’s compassion for people was very touching. It crossed my mind, hearing the gentle, affectionate way he spoke of children, that he would make a good father. But would he live long enough to get to know his children?
When it was time to leave, I didn’t see
any harm in letting Eric walk me outside to my car. It was dark, after all, and I felt safer with him there. When he reached out gently and took my arm in his, a sweet, forgotten longing welled up within me.
There was no denying the attraction, some sort of magnetic appeal that had been apparent from the first moment we met. My knees felt weak, and I was afraid that if he tried to kiss me, I might faint.
“Blythe, may I call you tomorrow? I really enjoyed talking to you. Maybe we can go to a movie or something.” It was so tempting, but I couldn’t. If I spent enough time with him alone, I knew my willpower would crumble.
“Really, Eric, I’d like to,” I told him, “but it’s hard for me to get away with Andy and all.”
“I can understand that. You know, I love kids,” Eric told me sincerely. “Why don’t we take him along if you don’t want to get a sitter? He could chaperone.”
He was smiling that crooked smile, and I knew he thought he was teasing. He just didn’t realize how right he was about the need for a chaperone. I had the strongest urge to kiss him right in the middle of that cute smile, but I resisted. Instead, I agreed that he could call me the next afternoon, and I wrote my phone number down, folded the piece of paper, and handed it to him.
The way his smile broadened, you would have thought I’d given him a pot of gold.
I wondered if I’d just made the worst mistake of my life.
The next day when Eric called, I was still having misgivings, but I didn’t see any way out now without lying or hurting his feelings. It was just one date, not even really a date—Andy was going with us. What could it hurt? I wouldn’t see him again after that.
When I told Jackie we were taking Andy with us on a date, she couldn’t believe it. “He must really like you, that’s all I can say,” she offered incredulously.
We chose a movie that Andy would like, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it, too. It had been a long time since I’d seen a movie, and this one was extremely well written, with a beautiful storyline about life, family, and love.