Lauren still couldn’t believe she was going to date a student, not after everything that had happened with Deirdre. She’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t make that same mistake again, but as she watched Riley walk ahead of her, moving towards a clearing in the woods that looked out over the mountains, Lauren knew it wasn’t fair to compare the two of them. They were both students, and they were both younger than Lauren. That was where their similarities ended.
It was a beautiful, crisp fall day, and as Lauren caught up to Riley, the rust colored leaves crunching beneath her hiking boots; she knew this was the right thing to do. They’d probably have to keep it a secret until Riley graduated, but other than that, Lauren didn’t have any concerns.
Yes, there were sixteen years between them, and whenever Lauren thought about it, it stopped her in her tracks. If Brian told her he was dating someone that much younger than her, Lauren would have told him to get a grip, but Riley was far from immature. She was handling this situation with her family, and Lauren had no idea how she did it. If that had happened to her... Well, at least she would have had Brian in her corner. Right now, Riley was alone. She had Nicole, and Riley had her. Lauren would make sure she knew that.
Lauren stood beside Riley as they looked out at the fiery shades of yellow and orange covering the mountains in the distance. “This is my favorite hike to do this time of year,” she said, her arm around Riley’s waist.
Riley leaned into her. “It’s stunning.”
Lauren hadn’t kissed Riley since last weekend, and the way Riley was looking at her right now, she had to have been thinking the same thing. Riley turned in her arms, her eyes flickering down to Lauren’s lips.
Riley reached up to push a lock of Lauren’s hair behind her ear, her fingers lingering, brushing across her neck until she cupped Lauren’s cheek, bringing their lips together.
Lauren sighed into the kiss. It was soft and delicate, but it still made Lauren’s knees weak. They were only a few feet away from the trail, so they couldn’t get carried away, but Lauren kissed her back, her tongue briefly sliding across Riley’s, eliciting a whimper before they both pulled away.
“I’ve missed you,” Riley said, her golden brown eyes fluttering open as she met Lauren’s gaze.
“I know. It feels like a lot longer than a week.” Lauren took a step back, reaching for her hand, not wanting to lose that contact.
“Maybe we should head back.”
Lauren couldn’t miss the suggestive tone of Riley’s voice. “Okay. Let’s go.” When they got back to her apartment, Lauren would try and point out that maybe this wasn’t the best time, but she had no idea how to let Riley down easy without offending her.
Riley hung up her coat beside Lauren’s. The temperatures had dipped as the sun sank lower in the sky, and she was glad to be back in Lauren’s warm apartment. Riley also wanted to pick up where they’d left off. That brief kiss wasn’t enough, especially not after what Lauren had said last night.
“Are you hungry?” Lauren asked, taking off her scarf.
“Not really. Are you?”
“Hmm. Any time I get back from a hike, I’m thinking about food... I know we talked about this last night, but are you one hundred percent sure that you don’t want to go home? Maybe we should go and just be in the area, you know, in case you change your mind.”
Riley blew out a breath. She didn’t want to argue with Lauren, but she really didn’t want to talk about this right now. “I’m positive. I can’t even imagine being there. My mother’s side of the family will probably be happy to see me, I think. Unless, she turned them against me, although I doubt she even told them what was going on. She probably would have been embarrassed. As she should have been. I don’t even want to see my father. I’d probably end up arguing with him.” Riley sighed. “It’s just not a good idea. On so many levels.”
“Okay. You haven’t heard from him since? He never called again?”
Riley shook her head as she followed Lauren into the living room. “No. Nothing.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It is what it is.” Riley wished they weren’t talking about this right now. She’d had a great time out in the woods, walking alongside Lauren like it was the most normal thing, and that kiss... Riley needed more of that, but judging by the way Lauren was looking at her right now, that wasn’t going to happen. Lauren had tears in her eyes, and an almost pained expression on her face. “I’m fine,” Riley said. “Really.”
“You don’t have to be.” Lauren’s hand found hers, interlacing their fingers.
“Look, I know I should probably be crying my eyes out right now, but I’m not,” she said with a shrug. “If I’m feeling anything, it’s anger. Honestly, I’m fine.”
Riley was fine. The only thing she was worried about right now were normal student problems: a lack of money and not enough time. Exams were getting closer and rent was due next week. She had to get back playing poker if she didn’t want to run out of money. She was okay in the short term, but she had to stay focused. She had to keep budgeting, and at some point she needed to study. This weekend had been a complete bust.
This was the only positive thing to come out of it. Lauren. And Riley wasn’t going to screw it up.
20
Riley stared at her reflection in the mirror above the sink in the casino’s restroom as she dried her hands. She should have known that she wouldn’t be able to focus tonight, but she needed to play. Riley needed to be in with a chance to at least leave here tonight with some money, but unfortunately she’d been knocked out pretty early after she’d made an uncharacteristically aggressive move.
She’d lost the hand before her last one, and she let her emotions influence her play. Always a big mistake. She crumpled up the paper towel and threw it in the trash on her way out the door, but someone was coming in at the same time, and Riley took a step back, grabbing the door and holding it open.
“Oh, hey Riley,” Ms. Lloyd said. “You’re out, too?” Her blond hair was straight today, falling a few inches below her shoulders and over her blue Superwoman shirt. She also had the black glasses and the white button up top open to reveal the logo.
It was Halloween week, and everyone was dressed up tonight. Riley had gone with an orange jumpsuit, a costume she’d worn a few times over the years, but this was probably the last time she’d get away with being Piper Chapman.
Riley nodded, letting the door fall shut behind Taylor. She had to keep reminding herself to call her Taylor, not Ms. Lloyd. Riley wasn’t in any of her classes, so she didn’t necessarily need to keep things formal, and she was a friend of Lauren’s. “Unfortunately, I made a stupid move.”
“It happens to all of us,” she said with a half-smile. “I’m surprised you’re back so soon. I’m sorry about your mother.”
Riley blinked. She hadn’t told anyone besides Lauren, Nicole and Becca. There was too much backstory to bother telling anyone else. Riley knew Lauren and her were friends, but she was still taken aback that Lauren had told her about her mother.
“Thanks,” Riley said, clearing her throat. “Life goes on though, right?”
“I suppose it does.” Taylor gave her arm a light squeeze. “You’re lucky to have Lauren. I have a seat by the bar if you want to join me. It’s close to her table, so we’ll be able to cheer her on.”
Once again, Riley was left stunned. “Yeah.” She nodded. “Yeah. That’s great. I’ll join you.”
Riley went back to the tournament, in a daze almost, ordering a gin and tonic. She knew Taylor and Lauren were friends. That was fine, but Lauren had specifically said that even though they were going to see where this goes, it still had to be a secret. Riley didn’t question it. It made sense, until Riley graduated anyway, and as much as she wanted to tell Nicole, she didn’t, because it was supposed to stay between Lauren and her.
Riley paid the bartender and found a free bar stool. Taylor was back and waving her over to her side of the bar. Riley took a lo
ng drink before joining her. She didn’t want to fight with Lauren, but at the same time, what the hell? She was saying one thing and doing another.
Riley hated lying to Nicole, but she thought it was something she just had to do until they were both ready to go public, if they were still even together. Right now, the summer seemed a long way off.
She took another drink as they watched the hand play out at Lauren’s table just a few feet away. Lauren forced another player all in. They folded their cards and the dealer pushed a pile of chips towards Lauren. As pissed off as Riley was, she had to admit that Lauren looked hot in that red dress, doing her best devil impersonation with a pair of horns on top of her head, her long glossy hair flowing across her shoulders in loose waves.
“I think she might win it,” Taylor said, crossing one leg over the other.
Lauren was rolling tonight. She was in third place with about thirty people left in the tournament spread out over four tables. Riley should stay, but she kept thinking about what Taylor had said when they were in the bathroom.
“There’s a long way to go yet,” Riley said, knowing she should be more enthusiastic, but she couldn’t shake the mood she was in. “Congrats on your win last week. I wish I was here to see it.”
“I still can’t believe it.” Taylor stirred her cocktail. “I had to go all-in I don’t know how many times at the end. I was running low on chips, and the cards just kept hitting. Then I out played the kid when it was just the two of us. Hey, how do you feel about coming up against your lecturers here? Is it weird? Is this weird?” Taylor asked, motioning between them.
Riley took another drink. It’s weird that you know about me and Lauren. “Maybe it was the first time, but I think it’s been going on for years. It’s a small town. There’s not much to do, really. It’s a sports bar, a night club that’s pretty basic, or this. And there’s always been a nice, kind of mutual respect between teachers and students. That’s how I’ve felt for the last three years anyway.”
“Okay. Because I wondered if I should even be here,” Taylor said, her eyes sweeping across the room as she adjusted her black frames, “But every Friday there’s at least a handful of us here. Did you get a bit star-struck when you met Brian Harper? I assume you’ve met him.”
“I have. I had him during my first year, and I was definitely taken aback. I mean, I saw his name on my list of classes, but I didn’t put two and two together. He’s nice.”
“He doesn’t know about...”
“No.” Riley bit back what she really wanted to say, but it wasn’t Taylor’s fault that Lauren had decided to confide in her. “He doesn’t.” She finished her wine and left the empty glass on the bar behind them. “I think I’m going to head home.”
“Really? Even with Lauren playing so well?”
“Yeah,” Riley said, running her finger along her eyebrow. “I’ve got this headache I can’t seem to shake.” She didn’t, but she needed to go home. Nicole was working at the other end of the bar, and Riley was so tempted to catch her, to see if she could go on one of her breaks, but she couldn’t even talk to Nicole about this, because that would involve telling her everything. Although, at this point, Riley was considering that too. If Lauren was telling people, why shouldn’t she?
“Okay. I’ll see you next week then,” Taylor said, giving her a wave as Riley put on her jacket.
Riley said goodbye and left, getting into the back of a taxi that was waiting outside.
“Hey,” Lauren said when she found Taylor at the bar. “How’d you do?”
“Not good. Seventy-fourth. Look at you, though. Top three finish.”
Lauren sighed. “Well, I should have won it. I got carried away there. I totally misread her. Anyway, third will have to do. Have you seen Riley?”
“She left.”
“Really?” Lauren asked, sliding her devil horn headband out of her hair. They’d been leaving together each week, waiting for the other to finish.
“Yeah. She said she had a headache.”
Lauren’s pulse quickened. “You were talking to her?”
Taylor nodded. “She seems to be holding up okay.”
“What um... What did you say to her?”
“What do you mean? I’m not the reason she left if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Lauren’s eyebrows rose. “I’m just curious what you talked about.”
“Not much. She congratulated me on my win last week. I said I was sorry about her mother...”
Lauren stifled a groan. Riley probably wouldn’t have appreciated her telling anyone about her mother, even Taylor.
“What else...” Taylor took a drink. “We talked about your brother. How we were both a bit star-struck when we met him.”
Lauren swallowed. Tonight was the first night Riley had left without her, and Taylor had been talking to her about Brian and her mother. Something had happened. “Okay,” Lauren said, shrugging it off. It wasn’t Taylor’s fault. She didn’t know that Lauren had said they shouldn’t tell anyone, and Riley more than likely knew that Taylor was aware of what was going on between them.
She pulled out her phone. No messages. It was coming up to eleven o’clock. She could still call Riley. She probably shouldn’t knock on her apartment door. What if one of her roommates answered?
“Do you want to share a taxi?” Lauren asked.
“No. I’m okay.”
“You’re going to see how this goes?” Lauren motioned to the table behind them where the last two were battling it out, two male students that were almost always in contention.
“Yeah...” Taylor tousled her hair. “And uh, you know that student I was telling you about... She’s working here tonight, so I might just... Hang on for a while.”
Lauren surveyed the room, moving from the dealer to the waitresses to the bartenders. All of them were students, or young enough to be students anyway, and about a half of them were women, but Lauren still had no idea who it was.
“Okay,” Lauren said. “If you’re sure...”
“Positive. I’ll get another drink and see what happens.”
Lauren nodded. She was in no position to give her any advice, although the thought that popped into her head was to be careful. They were in a room full of students and a few professors, but she didn’t say anything.
“I’ll see you next week,” Lauren said, grabbing her coat.
“Goodnight.”
Lauren went over to collect her winnings, but instead of feeling happy or proud of herself, her stomach was twisting as she wondered how much trouble she was in with Riley.
21
Lauren rolled onto her side, her hand reaching out as she got comfortable again, but it fell against the sheets, the space beside her empty. Her eyes fluttered open, and she blindly felt for her phone. Nothing. No messages. No calls. She tossed it onto the pillow beside her and thought about going back to sleep, even though it was almost nine o’clock.
She’d texted Riley last night, asking her if she was still awake, but she never got a reply. Maybe this was the part where Riley turned out to be immature. Lauren didn’t know how bad the situation was or how offended Riley would be, but either way they needed to talk.
Lauren was just about to drift off to sleep again when she heard someone knocking on her door. She didn’t think it would be Riley. Wouldn’t she have called or sent a text? But Lauren got up anyway, popping a mint into her mouth. Her black silk pajama bottoms and matching tank top would have to do. She found a hair tie and combed her fingers through her hair, securing it in a messy bun as she padded down the hallway.
She pulled the door open, expecting her neighbor or a delivery, but it was Riley. “Hi,” Lauren said, a smile automatically on her lips.
“Is this a bad time? I can come back later.” Riley stood in her doorway in jeans and a gray hoody, and Lauren couldn’t gauge her mood.
“No. Well, I’m still waking up, but no. Come in.” Lauren led them into the kitchen. She desperately needed caffeine. “
Coffee?”
“Sure. If you’re making one.”
Riley leaned against the counter and images of that first night, when Riley had been sitting up on that counter top, came flashing across Lauren’s mind. She pushed those thoughts away and made two americanos.
“I saw online that you finished third last night,” Riley said. “Congrats.”
“Thanks.” Lauren handed her a steaming mug of coffee. “I could have played it better, but it’s a good finish.”
“Thanks,” Riley said, their fingers brushing as she took the cup from Lauren. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“I know you were talking to Taylor...” Lauren pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I have a feeling she said something that upset you.”
Riley pursed her lips. “It wasn’t so much what she said... It was that she said it. That she knew about us. Lauren, I thought we were keeping this quiet.”
“We are-”
“So, you can tell your friends, but I can’t tell mine,” Riley said, her voice even, but Lauren couldn’t miss the fire in her eyes.
Lauren opened her mouth and shut it again. If she didn’t word this properly, Riley might walk out of here and never come back. “Do you mind if we sit down?”
Riley swept her arm out, letting Lauren go ahead, and they both went into the living room and sat down, facing each other, but there was a noticeable gap between them.
Lauren took a sip of coffee and left the mug on the coffee table. “So, yes... I told Taylor. I had no intention of telling her, but she told me something in confidence, and I couldn’t just sit there and not tell her about us.”
Riley’s eyes narrowed. “Lauren, come on. That’s not much of an explanation. Why did you tell her? I mean, I don’t mind people knowing, but I thought you did.”
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