Riley had played Lauren’s words over and over in her head, and even if she truly wanted to just pause what they had, Riley wouldn’t be surprised if she no longer felt that way. Not after the way Riley had reacted.
Why did she have to run out of there? Would it really have been so bad if Lauren had seen her cry? Riley had been so afraid to let Lauren see how much she meant to her that she’d bolted.
A wave of nausea came over her, and it had nothing to do with all the alcohol she’d consumed tonight. What if Lauren thought she’d ran out because it was over? She’d been so blindsided by Lauren’s suggestion that they pause their relationship, that she hadn’t been able to think about much else. She hadn’t had time to think through her actions. She’d just fled.
Riley tried to think about that night from Lauren’s point of view. There was no positive way to interpret what Riley had done. Any normal person would have stayed and talked it through, but even the idea of putting their relationship on hold for six months had been so devastating that Riley couldn’t think. Emotions had taken over.
She had to talk to Lauren. A month had gone by. What if Lauren was seeing someone else now? Riley blew out a breath. There was no point going down that road and imagining worst-case scenarios. Riley glanced at the time on her phone. It was only 12:15AM. Lauren should still be awake. If she was at home.
Riley got out of the taxi and entered her building, pressing the button for Lauren’s floor. This could be an awful idea, but what did she have to lose? If Lauren didn’t want to see her, she wouldn’t let her in.
She had to do something, because not knowing was torture, and Riley couldn’t leave it any longer. She’d already let so much time go by. There was a real possibility that Lauren had moved on, and Riley had to prepare herself for that.
As she stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall, she ran her hands down the sides of her black pants. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this nervous. She had no idea what she was going to say. She was tipsy, but not drunk, and hopefully, that would help.
Riley took a deep breath as she lifted her hand and knocked on Lauren’s door. Just be honest. That was what had been missing the last time that Riley was here. She should have told Lauren that she’d wait, that it would be worth it once she’d graduated, that she was crazy about her.
Riley waited. She unbuttoned her coat, letting it hang open as she knocked once more. When had it gotten so hot?
Lauren was probably out, and Riley couldn’t stop her mind from imagining Lauren with another woman, with Taylor. That was what popped into her head, even though Lauren had said there was nothing between them.
She was just about to give up, wrestling with the idea that maybe it was for the best that Lauren hadn’t answered, when the door opened. Riley’s heart stopped when she took in Lauren. She was standing there, leaning against the door, dressed in plaid pajama bottoms and a white tank top, her copper brown hair in waves across her shoulders, and it was one of the sexiest things that Riley had ever seen.
Riley knew she should say something, but she hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. She saw Lauren at least twice a week at college. Why was she so thrown by the sight of her now? Her throat tightened as she tried to come up with the right words. She needed to apologize, but it shouldn’t be the first thing out of her mouth.
Riley held Lauren’s gaze. Maybe she wasn’t going to invite her in, and Riley would have to say whatever it was she was going to say out here in the hallway. “Lauren...” Her voice came out thick with emotion. There were so many things she wanted to say. She didn’t know where to start.
Riley ran her hand through her hair, tousling it as she tried to put her thoughts in to words. When Riley looked at her, ready to plead her case, Lauren’s eyes were on her, but they didn’t meet her eyes. They were raking over her, openly checking her out, and Riley swallowed. When Lauren’s eyes reached hers, there was no mistaking the desire in them.
Lauren stepped forward, grabbing a fistful of Riley’s shirt, and tugged her into the apartment. Riley’s bag fell to the floor as Lauren backed her up against the wall.
Lauren’s lips crashed into hers, kissing her hungrily, her tongue wrestling with Riley’s. Hands were everywhere. Lauren pushed her coat over her shoulders, and it hit the ground with a thud as Lauren’s hands covered her breasts through her top. Riley groped Lauren’s ass through her pajamas as they kissed, and for a second Riley thought they were going to have sex right there, inside the doorway. Lauren was like a woman possessed.
When they came up for air, Riley’s hand was on Lauren’s neck, caressing her soft skin. She should say something, explain why she was here, but right now she couldn’t think about anything other than getting Lauren naked.
“I’ve missed you,” Lauren whispered, her lips brushing across Riley’s.
“Me too.”
Their kiss slowed, turning more sensual, their tongues sliding, exploring. Riley sighed as Lauren’s lips moved to her neck and then to her chest, to the hint of cleavage where her top dipped.
“Come to bed with me,” Lauren murmured between kisses.
Riley’s hands were on her cheeks, bringing Lauren’s lips back to hers, kissing her with all of the emotion that had been swirling inside her these last few weeks. Even if she didn’t know how to say it, she could show Lauren what she meant to her.
“Take me to bed,” Riley said, her thumb trailing over Lauren’s bottom lip.
29
Riley’s eyes fluttered open, the weight of Lauren’s arm on her stomach and the feeling of Lauren’s her leg draped over her own reminding her that last night had really happened. She was in Lauren’s bed, her body satisfyingly sore, but there was still a heaviness in the pit of her stomach. As amazing as last night had been, there’d been very little talking. Riley was just as uncertain of their future as she had been last night when she’d stood outside Lauren’s door.
She carefully shifted onto her back, not wanting to wake Lauren, as memories from last night flooded her mind. Lauren’s hands had been everywhere from the second she’d pulled Riley into her apartment. It had been hot, urgent, aggressive, and passionate all at the same time.
Her fingers tingled as she thought about the way Lauren’s tongue had brought her to yet another orgasm, and the way Riley had held on to her, her fingers splayed in Lauren’s silky hair as she’d thrown her head back in to the pillow. She’d lost track of how many times she’d come last night, but this wasn’t just sex. Not for her, anyway.
What was it for Lauren? That was the question.
Riley wanted to believe that this couldn’t just be sex for Lauren, not with the way they’d locked eyes when Lauren had shuddered underneath her, not with the way they’d spent hours kissing, their lips fitting together so perfectly. And not with the way they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms like it was the most natural thing.
Lauren’s body shifted against hers, her hand leaving Riley’s stomach to rub her eyes as she woke up. “Hey...” Her voice was low, gravelly with sleep as she moved onto her back.
Riley turned to meet Lauren’s eyes, a wave of emotion hitting her. “Hi.”
They stayed like that, gazing into each other’s eyes, as Lauren got comfortable on her side, her hand reaching up to brush Riley’s hair away from her face.
Riley wanted to say something, to ask Lauren what this was, but she was so afraid of what her answer might be that she just stayed there, lost in Lauren’s stunning blue eyes.
“We should talk about last night,” Lauren said, her fingers lingering on Riley’s cheek before falling away.
“We should.” Riley couldn’t gauge from Lauren’s tone what that meant. Was she going to be let down easy or were they going to talk about waiting until she graduated to continue this? She had no idea.
Lauren cleared her throat. “I think we’d better get up, have some coffee. I’m afraid if we have this conversation here...” Her eyes lowered to where the sheet was falling away f
rom Riley’s chest. “I might get distracted.”
Well, that was a good sign. “I know what you mean,” Riley said, a smile forming on her lips as she leaned in to give Lauren a quick kiss before getting up.
Riley got dressed and went into the bathroom to freshen up while Lauren went into the guest bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. So, this is what people meant when they said that someone was glowing. She’d never seen herself like this, not even when they’d first gotten together. Last night had definitely been special, and she just had to hope that Lauren felt the same way.
Riley went into the kitchen as Lauren brought over two mugs. She was dressed casually in jeans and a long-sleeved black top, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail.
“Is the living room okay?” Lauren asked and when Riley nodded, she carried the mugs over, leaving them down on the coffee table, steam rising from them as they both sat down.
Riley ran her hands over her thighs, then she crossed her arms over her chest. She was almost trembling with nerves. She didn’t know what to do with her hands.
“First of all,” Lauren said with a sigh. “I want to apologize for last night, for pulling you into this apartment. I’m guessing you came here to talk... I didn’t even give you a chance to.”
Riley bit the inside of her cheek. That was not what she was expecting. “You don’t need to apologize, but yes, I came here to talk to you. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I had to see you. And please, don’t apologize for last night, for any of it. You did exactly what I wanted to do. I never would have had the guts to do that.”
“Why last night?” Lauren tilted her head to the side. “Why last night and not any other night over the last month?”
Riley swallowed. There was no anger or agitation in her voice, but that didn’t make this any easier. “I was scared.”
“Of what?” Lauren asked, her voice soft.
“Of what you’d think of me, after the way I behaved that night... Just leaving.”
“Why did you leave? I mean, I know I could have handled it a bit better. I was in shock. I called you right after I got the email.” Lauren reached for her coffee and took a sip. “I should have thought it through, you know... Figured out what I was going to say. I was completely thrown by that email, and then I called you, without a plan.” She pursed her lips. “I made a mistake.”
Riley’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean? You don’t want to put this,” she said, motioning between them, “On hold?”
“No. I can’t wait that long.” Lauren put down her mug and ran her hand across her face. “I don’t want to lose my job, but we can be careful.”
Riley laughed, relief washing over her body. “Sorry.” She held up her hand as she exhaled. “Sorry. That is not what I thought you were going to say.”
“You thought I was going to end it?” Lauren looked bewildered. “After last night?”
“Yes. You said you didn’t want to wait... I thought that meant it was over. You know, we’ve basically reversed positions? I was thinking last night that this was worth the wait. That we could handle six months apart. But you’re saying... You want to do this? Right now?” Riley held her breath, waiting for Lauren to say something.
“Yes. This last month has been torture.” Lauren reached for Riley’s hand. “Seeing you in class was so hard. I mean, it always has been, but at least I knew I’d see you over the weekend. Winter break was ridiculously long. I haven’t even seen you on Fridays.”
Riley pushed her hair behind her ear. “It was too hard to see you at the casino. So, I stopped going,” she said with a shrug. “I got a side-hustle walking dogs to make up for it. Not quite the same rush as playing poker, but it has been reliable, and I can work around my schedule.” Riley’s thumb brushed across the back of Lauren’s hand. “Are you sure you want to risk it?”
Lauren nodded. “You were really ready to wait?”
“Yeah. Of course. I wish I’d said it that first night, but I was so shocked. Yes, I would wait. I don’t want to, but I’m so crazy about you, Lauren. That was why I left that night. The thought of losing you was just...” Riley blinked back tears, her throat tight. “But at the same time, I didn’t want to scare you off. I was afraid of saying too much... And now, I don’t care. I want to be with you, Lauren, so just tell me what that means. Now. Later?”
Lauren’s hand was on her cheek, brushing away a tear that trickled down Riley’s cheek. “You’re willing to wait, to put my job and our reputations first. And I’m here, feeling slightly rebellious, saying screw it.” A half smile tugged at her lips. “Why don’t we meet in the middle?”
“Yeah?”
“What if... What if we saw each other on Fridays? If you’re playing poker, we can come and go together, just like we have before, and maybe you’d spend the night here.”
“And sneak home Saturday morning?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” Lauren’s fingers brushed across her wrist. “And no texting or calling. Just in case. I know we were already being careful about that, but nothing this time. Nothing that can be traced.”
Riley nodded, her heart swelling in her chest as she tried to take this all in. Lauren wanted her. Now. She didn’t even want to wait.
“On one hand,” Lauren said, letting Riley’s hand slide out of hers as she reached for her coffee, “Six months seems doable, but at the same time, the last month has dragged. Brian barely put up with me. I was miserable... But this is what we have to deal with.”
“I still can’t believe what happened with Becca. I’ve been spending so much time with her, just to cheer her up, to make sure she’s okay. She feels so guilty.”
“Well, tell her that it’s not going to affect us.”
Riley smiled. There was a lightness in her arms, a tingling sensation running over her skin. They were going to be alright. They were doing this. Lauren Harper wanted her, was willing to risk her job for her. It still felt surreal.
Epilogue
Riley gripped the metal railing as the boat got closer to the falls, the roar of the water growing louder, and Riley shuddered when Lauren’s hands wrapped around her waist from behind. Her hands stayed on top of the blue poncho that she was wearing, the spray from the falls already hitting them.
“I can’t believe you’ve never been to Niagara Falls,” Riley said over her shoulder. “You live an hour away.”
Riley felt Lauren shrug against her. “I’m glad this is my first time. That it’s with you,” Lauren said, kissing the skin just below her ear.
It was hard to believe that it had been a month since Riley had thrown her black graduation hat into the air with the rest of her classmates, and as proud of herself as she was for getting through everything with her family and finishing college, it was mostly a celebration of the fact that Riley was free to openly date Lauren.
Riley had practically moved in the first week after graduation. They’d hardly seen each other in the last few weeks of college, both of them insanely busy, and when they were finally able to spend some time together, neither of them wanted it to end. Since then, they’d fallen into a routine of spending most evenings together, whether it was going for a hike or cooking dinner together, and Riley usually stayed over on the weekends.
“Hey,” Lauren said, her hands falling away as she moved to stand beside her, their arms still touching. “I was thinking...”
The mist from the falls dampened Riley’s face as she turned to look at Lauren when her voice had trailed off. She tucked her hair behind her ear, still waiting for Lauren to finish her sentence. “Yeah?”
Lauren cleared her throat. “When we get back tomorrow... I was wondering if you’d like to move in with me.”
Riley’s eyebrows rose. She knew that she’d been spending almost as much time at Lauren’s as she did in her own apartment, but she never expected Lauren to suggest she move in. Not this soon, anyway.
“I mean, I know it’s fast.” Lauren looked away, her gaze on the falls and th
e water cascading over the rocks. “But at the same time... We’ve been together for a while. I know it wasn’t official, really.”
Riley couldn’t hide her smile. It was rare for Lauren to be this uncertain, this shy almost. “I’d love to move in with you.”
“Yeah?”
Riley nodded. “Yes. I don’t care if it’s a little fast. We’ve had a rough few months, and we kind of spend all of our free time together anyway.”
Lauren exhaled. “Great, because I’d been thinking about it for... Well, since you graduated.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. But you know, that was too soon. The last few weeks were like a trial run.”
“And I assume I passed the test?” Riley teased, leaning into her.
“Yes. Not that it was like that.”
“Oh, come on. If you found out I had a few bad habits, like leaving my laundry around the room or... I don’t even know.”
“You can’t even think of any bad habits.” Lauren kissed her cheek as she slid her arm around her waist. “So, you definitely don’t have any.”
“I’ll just have to figure out how to live with all yours,” Riley said with her best poker face.
Lauren’s hand fell. “What?”
“I’m kidding. You don’t have any. Not that I know of. Not yet, anyway. I’m sure we’ll annoy each other eventually.”
“Or maybe we won’t.” Lauren’s hand was back, and they leaned into each other as they looked up at the falls, the white water thundering down onto the rocks below.
Riley rested her head on Lauren’s shoulder, her phone in her back pocket. She had no interest in taking any photos of the stunning site in front of her. All she wanted to do was savor this moment, to commit it to memory, and with any luck, this would be the first of many weekends away.
As amazing as these last few days had been, Riley was already looking forward to getting back. She knew she had a goofy grin on her face from just thinking about moving in with Lauren, but she didn’t care. She deserved this. After the year she’d just had, Riley was ready to move on, and there was no one she’d rather have by her side than Lauren.
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