by Cecilia Gray
Now that she knew these things, there was no stopping her.
* * *
Kat was embarrassed to find climbing down the tree way more difficult than her empowering climb up it. She had gotten caught in the branches and at one point swung upside down before finally collapsing to the ground. She brushed the dirt and grass off her dress, retrieved her bags, and walked back to the girls’ dormitory wing. She felt an immediate sense of calm, as though she’d come home. She recognized the scent in the hallway, which always smelled like the sweet bath products from the showers. She knew the names and designs on every door.
She reached her door—midway down the hall—and it already bore tags for Kat and Fanny. Kat’s nametag had been decorated with the old-fashioned New Orleans actor’s mask in purple and gold, and Fanny’s had a pair of shoes with wings on them.
She opened the door, and her jaw dropped. “Fanny?”
Fanny leaned back on the bed, a book in hand, wearing her typical gray sweatpants and tee. Kat was stunned as Fanny flew off the bed and hugged her tight. After a moment, Kat hugged back. “What are you doing here?”
“Are you kidding me?” Fanny said. “After those tearful texts, you thought I wouldn’t come?”
“Your mom let you?”
“It’s just a few days early. I already spent Christmas with them, and they don’t care so much about New Year’s anyway…. Okay, fine, maybe I had to promise to come home for the entire summer and run track camp there instead of here.”
“Fanny…” Kat’s lip trembled. “You did that for me?”
“Yes, but I’m secretly hoping she forgets I said I would,” Fanny said, her face clouding over. “But I’m here now.” She pulled Kat’s bags into the room. “Tell me everything.”
* * *
“Are you sure about this?” Fanny asked.
Kat stared at the door to the drama department and nodded. She slipped her note beneath the locked door, knowing the drama instructor would find it the following week when the teachers returned. “I’m sure.”
“This is because you want to and not because you’re all depressed about Henry, right?”
Kat stared at the door, waiting to feel regret or the urge to smash it down and grab her note back, but it never came. Instead, she was overwhelmed with relief. “I don’t know why I’m doing it, but it’s the right choice.”
Fanny squeezed Kat’s shoulders quickly as they headed for the dining hall. Fanny sighed. “Wow. The Jane Austen Academy has lost its lead actress.”
“But gained an experienced set person,” Kat reasoned. “I’ve already proven I can be a star. Now I need to prove I can shine from behind the scenes, too. Besides, if I don’t like it, there’s always senior year to take back my spotlight.”
Fanny tsked and shook her head. “It feels like the end of an era.”
“I’m the least of the reasons why that’s true,” Kat said. “Did you guys ever figure out what the newer new owners are up to and why they bought the Academy?”
“Lizzie’s still trying. It’s harder this time because the new owner isn’t a person or a family. It’s a conglomerate.”
“Why would a conglomerate buy a school?”
Fanny shrugged.
As they reached the dining hall, the few students who had stayed behind during Christmas break—mostly international students—swiveled to look at Kat.
“Am I imagining this?” Kat asked as they inched toward the salad bar.
“Nope,” Fanny said. “I am definitely getting a whiff of zombie horror film right now.”
They filled their plates and took the nearest seats. After a few moments, a freshman approached them. “Are you Kat Morley?”
“Yeah,” Kat said, spearing her lettuce.
“Is it true?” the girl asked excitedly.
Kat frowned. “Is what true?”
“The story?”
Fanny leaned in. “Let’s cut through this cryptic game. Just tell us exactly what you’re talking about.”
The girl held up her phone, which had a news feed on it, although Kat couldn’t read it from where she was. She took the phone and used her fingers to zoom in the screen as a video began to play.
The video was of Henry and Josh. They were in a parking lot—probably belonging to a film studio. They were arguing. At first she thought they were acting in character, but she quickly realized they were just Henry and Josh. Henry grabbed a fistful of Josh’s shirt and slammed his fist into Josh’s face. Henry pushed forward just as Josh fell back.
Then the camera moved away as if the person filming had dropped it.
The headline finally sank in: Henry and Josh fight over assistant.
“Whoa, that looked bad,” Fanny said, hitting “play” again.
Even while Kat reeled from the shock of the two of them fighting, the headline didn’t make sense to her—they wouldn’t fight over her. There was nothing to fight over. Josh hadn’t even seemed upset or asked why when she’d told him she was leaving early. Certainly not enough to get into a fight.
Then she read the line beneath the headline: Sources confirm that Henry has flown to Paris to be with his mother.
That’s when it hit her.
Henry and Josh had not fought over her.
They’d fought over another woman entirely.
* * *
Josh answered his phone on the second ring.
“Are you okay?” Kat said. “I saw the news—and the stupid headline.”
“See what I mean?” he said dryly. “The news is never true.”
“Why did you do it?” she asked. “How did you know? How could you do that to his mom?”
A few moments passed in silence as she held her breath, waiting for an explanation.
“I didn’t even think about Henry’s mother,” Josh admitted. “I just knew his dad and Scarlett were seeing each other. I believed you when you said you saw them. When you and Henry ran out to follow him—well, I followed you.”
“How could you?” Kat asked, as if he’d betrayed her, too. She didn’t understand how Josh, who could be so nice sometimes, so hard-working, could also be this. “Henry let you stay with him. He trusted you.”
“It’s the truth, Kat. I only told the truth.”
“How does your jaw feel about the truth?” she asked.
“It feels pretty good.”
She heard him inhale sharply, and for a moment, she thought maybe he was crying. “Josh?” she asked tentatively. “Are you okay?”
“Lying about something doesn’t make it true, you know. Henry’s life isn’t perfect. He should stop pretending it is.”
“Henry wasn’t the one pretending,” Kat said softly. “He just needed time.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes we don’t get what we need.”
* * *
Kat woke up on New Year’s Eve morning with one thought.
Henry still hadn’t contacted her.
He had to know she hadn’t been involved in leaking his father’s story, that he’d been wrong about her. But he hadn’t contacted her. She sat up in bed. Fanny was long gone, on her morning run, as usual.
Kat texted Henry:
I hope your mother is well.
It was weak—she shouldn’t have to be the one to text first when she hadn’t done anything wrong. But Henry was hurting and had bigger things to worry about than her problems—not that it eased the ache inside. She waited, her heartbeat counting out dull thuds until sixty seconds had passed. Then five minutes. Then twenty.
With each passing second she felt a little more numb.
She finally got out of bed, pulled a sweatshirt over her pajama top, and put on slippers. With each step, she couldn’t help but relive the past. How she’d find a note from Josh with ridiculous tasks on it. How Izzy and Henry had helped her. Henry’s smile and quirky humor.
She made her way across the quad. Cold dew clung to the grass and brushed wet lines against her bare ankles.
How could every little thing remi
nd her of Henry when he had never even been to the Jane Austen Academy? She felt like she saw him everywhere. Even now, as she glanced over at the tree, she saw him.
She saw him.
She rubbed the remaining sleep from her eyes and blinked. When she looked again, he was still there. He was dressed in all black with a black tricorn hat—the type you’d expect to see on an English navy captain, only it was more regal looking. He was searching for something, spinning around the quad, looking in windows and attracting a fair amount of attention as students whispered and pointed. Finally, he spun around and stopped when he saw her.
She wasn’t imagining him. He was here, in the quad of the Jane Austen Academy. She felt her legs moving even though her mind was still reeling. Henry hurried toward her with long strides.
They stopped a foot away from each other. Kat stared at his hat. What did it mean?
“Did you get my text?” she asked, incredulous.
“I thought I’d answer in person.”
“You couldn’t have gotten here from Paris after getting my text thirty minutes ago.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said sheepishly. He cupped his hand at the back of his neck. “This is a terrible start to an apology.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“I’m here because you were right. I should have trusted you.”
Kat blinked rapidly, nodding along as he spoke. “Why didn’t you?”
Henry blew out a frustrated breath. “I’ve made a lot of friends who don’t care about me—the real me—just about my dad or what I can get them. I’ve never trusted that I’m interesting enough, that I’m someone a girl would choose, just for me.”
Kat pressed her lips together hard. She touched the brim of his hat. “Pirate?”
“Casanova,” he said. “You know, smooth with women. Could talk his way out of anything.”
She rolled her eyes but smiled. “You’re trying to talk your way into my good graces?”
“I was hoping to talk you into opening another gift.” He walked back to the base of the tree, bent to pick something up, and came back with a wrapped box.
She took it in her hands and unwrapped it. Then pulled out a cheap baseball cap. Frowning, she turned it over to read the words stitched on the brim beneath an arrow pointing down:
I date Henry Trenton, and all I get is this stupid hat.
Kat looked back at him.
“It’s customized,” he said lightly. He took the cap out of her hands and stuck it on her head. “This is what I know. I know that in real life, people don’t have celebrity parents who have scandalous affairs, and in real life people don’t get into fistfights that go viral, and in real life people don’t fall for girls they’ve known for ten minutes. But I’m starting to accept that in my life—that’s what happened.”
Kat rested her hands over his. “You don’t need this.” She pulled his Casanova hat off. “You’re doing just fine as Henry.”
“Am I?” He laughed. “Good because I’m really nervous.”
Kat stared into his eyes and realized that she’d been wrong about love. She’d assumed love was fireworks. And maybe sometimes it was, but love was also warm and comforting. Love was also simple and wonderful.
As Henry tilted his head, she lifted up on her toes. Their lips met, and her hands fell to his shoulders. She knew she’d always remember this moment. Sometimes real life was a million times better than the movies.
Epilogue
Another one bites the dust, Fanny thought as she watched the spectacle of Henry Trenton and her best friend Kat kissing underneath the tree in the central quad. They wouldn’t be the first couple to make out beneath the tree and definitely not the last.
She high-kicked and stretched her hamstrings. Maybe she’d go on another run in case they wanted privacy. The trail into the woods was her favorite path. She loved the rustle of leaves crunching beneath her feet and the whistling wind through the trees overhead. Running allowed her to meditate, cleared her mind. Gave her time to plan.
She veered left on the trail away from the school, toward the headmistress’s cottage, but stopped short as she caught sight of Headmistress Katherine Berg speaking to three men in suits.
What is Bergie up to now? Fanny crept into the woods and walked from tree to tree until she was close enough to hear.
“When?” Headmistress Berg asked.
“We don’t have a definite date.”
“You could at least give me the courtesy of a timeline.”
The three men exchanged glances. One finally cleared his throat. “We’ll start surveying immediately, but we won’t send in the demolition crew until after the school year ends.”
“We wouldn’t want to disrupt the students,” another said.
Fanny bit down on her hand to keep from crying out.
Headmistress Berg let out a snort. “You think knowing the Academy is going to be demolished won’t disrupt the students? Don’t you watch the news? Didn’t you see what the promise of a mere name change made them do? What do you think they’ll do once they find out the new owners want to destroy the school and build a mall?”
Fanny turned her back to the tree and slid bonelessly down it. Destroy the school?
That meant this would be her last year at the Jane Austen Academy.
That meant she only had a few months left to finish her plan.
* * *
Continue reading for a discussion guide geared toward fans of the Jane Austen Academy and of the original Jane Austen novels!
Don’t miss any of the books in the Jane Austen Academy! Catch up with Lizzie, Ellie, Kat, Fanny, Emma, and Anne as their friendships are torn, tested, and ultimately triumph.
FALL FOR YOU
When Lizzie’s quest to stop the changes at the Jane Austen Academy blow up in her face, she has nowhere else to turn but to Dante, with his killer blue eyes, his crazy-sexy smile, and his secrets…
SO INTO YOU
When Ellie’s parents threaten to pull her from the Jane Austen Academy just as her flirtation with the cutest boy in school heats up, will Ellie be able to keep her cool?
WHEN I’M WITH YOU
Kat discovers pursuing her dreams may mean forfeiting her heart. Unless she can find a way to have both…
SUDDENLY YOU
Fanny finds herself center stage in the middle of the Jane Austen Academy’s biggest love triangle as the lead in the school play… only this track star can’t afford to break a leg.
ONLY WITH YOU
When Emma’s friend turns her eye toward the guy Emma wants for herself, how will she choose between friendship and her own feelings?
ALWAYS YOU
With nothing to lose, will Anne finally ignore what everyone else tells her and go after her heart’s desires?
Discussion Guide
When I’m With You is a modern retelling of Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey.
Kat believes she is worldly, but she is actually naive about the film industry and the people around her. Think of a time your worldview has been proven incorrect. How did you develop your original view? How did learning the truth change you?
At the beginning of the book, Kat believes she wants to be a star but, along the way, realizes her dream comes at a cost and may not make her happy. When have you wanted something that came at a price? Did you decide it was worth paying? Why or why not?
Kat has trouble making friends at the Academy but is easily able to make friends on the movie set. Are there certain situations where you can make friends more easily or where you are more comfortable being yourself? How does setting affect your ability to be yourself?
For readers who have read the original source material
Northanger Abbey is a satire of the gothic novel. When I’m With You, while not satirical, replaces the gothic novel convention with the Hollywood lifestyle. How are the stereotypes and conventions of a gothic novel comparable to the conventions and stereotypes of Hollywood?
Northanger Abbey�
�s Isabelle is not redeemed, but Izzy from When I’m With You is later absolved as Kat comes to understand Izzy’s motives and personality. Given that Northanger Abbey heavily explores the theme of understanding character nuances as more than black or white, why do you think Jane Austen chose not to redeem Isabelle to Catherine?
Catherine from Northanger Abbey believes Henry’s father has killed his wife because of the influence of gothic novels. When I’m With You’s Kat believes Henry’s father is having an affair because of the influence of gossip magazines. While Catherine is proven wrong, Kat is proven right. Should the author have remained faithful to Austen’s satirical roots by proving Henry’s father innocent of the affair? Why or why not?
Northanger Abbey’s Catherine has a very hands-off mother who allows her daughter a lot of independence. Kat from When I’m With You has the same independence. Was this level of freedom unusual for someone of Austen’s era? Do you think this level of independence is realistic in a modern novel? Why or why not?
Author’s Note
I love Jane Austen. Most of all, I love the heroines she created and always thought it a great crime that the women we know and adore weren’t given the opportunity to know and adore each other.
Jane famously wrote that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, but I am convinced, more importantly, that a girl is always in want of more girlfriends.
The Jane Austen Academy series is an opportunity to explore the rivalries and friendships I imagine between her heroines.
Here’s to…
the friend that is always there for you,
the friend you go to when you need a good cry,
the friend you can depend on to help you reach your dreams,
the friend who understands you without a word,
the friend who is always up for trying new things, and
the friend you can count on to keep a secret.
Here’s to the Lizzies, Eleanors, Kats, Fannys, Emmas and Annes in your life.
Cecilia’s Booklist