by Chris Cheek
“God, I can well understand that. Imagine being kept from your own grandchildren.”
“Quite. Jen says she’ll try to talk to Mona before I get home but she’s not confident that Mona will even take the call.”
“I can understand that too, I suppose.”
“So can I, Al. So can I.” Suddenly David started to fold again. He ran his fingers through his hair, and fear and trepidation appeared on his face. “Christ, Al. What now?”
“You do what you have to do, Davy. Go and drive that coach of yours back to Yorkshire. Be the professional you are and afterwards face the music – whatever tune they’re playing. Remember that I’m only a phone call away.”
Not for the first time in the last fourteen hours, Alan cursed the week-long course he was booked into, which started the following night. But for that, no power on earth would have kept him away from Sedgethwaite and David’s side.
***
When Alan got back to the flat after dropping off David, he made some more coffee and sat in the kitchen trying to read the Saturday paper. He found it impossible to concentrate on any of the stories; his eyes went out of focus after two paragraphs of an article and a few minutes later he found himself staring into space, having constructed yet another scenario for what might happen and then worrying about it.
After a couple of hours he gave up and went upstairs to tidy up. There was the bed to make and last night’s glasses to clear away. The bathroom was in a bit of a mess too after they had showered hurriedly that morning.
Alan had entered into his latest idle speculation when the doorbell jerked him out of his reverie. He groaned but moved to answer it.
Simon came bustling into the flat and made himself comfortable in the kitchen. “You got him away all right, then?”
“Yep, but he didn’t want to go.”
“Not surprised, poor love. I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of shit storm he’s going into.”
“Me neither, Si. Still, he managed to speak to his sister this morning and she’s gone round to see his mum and dad. She also promised to try and talk to Mona, but they don’t get on very well, apparently.”
“Oh, families,” Simon said with a snort. “Don’t you just love them?”
“Don’t know. Haven’t got one any more.”
“Oh, Alan, I’m sorry. That was very insensitive of me. Do forgive me.”
“No, you’re all right, Si. Don’t worry, it’s fine. It doesn’t worry me most of the time, but every now and again I get caught on the raw.”
“Yeah, I understand what you mean. Anyway, David’s talked to his sister. What now, do you think?”
“Gawd knows. I just wish I could be there for him – at least somewhere nearby – in the area, if not right by his side. But I’ve got this bloody course for three days from Monday, and my boss would kill me if I pulled out.”
“Don’t worry, we’re around all week so let us know if David needs anything, or if he needs to come here. Tell him to get in touch. I made sure he got my mobile number the other week.”
“Thanks. That’s very kind, old love.”
Simon suddenly snorted with laughter. “I suppose if there’s any consolation, at least it’ll bring matters to a head one way or another.”
“Yeah, but which way, Si? What if Mona forces him to choose – me or the boys? I might never see him again!”
“Oh, hush. It’s not going to be like that at all. David’s in much too deep to abandon you, love.”
“He did tell me last night that this was now his home, I suppose.”
Simon beamed with triumph. “There you are! Told you he was a keeper the other week. But seriously, Alan. David loves you, and he’s not going to give up on you.”
Alan rubbed his hands over his face and then looked up. “God, Simon. I hope you’re right.”
“I’m always right, darling. Didn’t you know?” He giggled. “That’s what Peter loves about me!”
“Oh, sure,” Alan replied, with a laugh. He realised that it was the first time he’d laughed today, and he silently blessed Simon for it.
“Right, now. Off you pop and get dressed up to look fabulous. We’re taking you out to lunch.”
“Si, there really is no need…”
“Nonsense. You can’t sit here moping about and worrying all day. Come on, best bib and tucker, darling. We’re lunching at The Savoy.”
Alan laughed again. “Oh, well. In that case…”
Chapter 31
David
Alan had driven David to the coach park in plenty of time for him to get his vehicle ready. David found it extremely difficult to leave him. After they arrived at the entrance, they sat in the car for a few minutes, holding hands tightly without speaking. Eventually, David straightened his back, gave Alan a slightly tearful smile, got out of the car and stepped back into his other world.
His first worry was whether Douggie Thorpe was travelling home on his coach but he quickly remembered that Douggie and his wife were staying in London tonight and travelling home tomorrow. That was a relief. It might also mean that the process of spreading the word would be delayed for twenty-four hours. That would certainly be a bonus.
He pulled on to the stand at Victoria and scanned the queue. There was no sign of Douggie. He breathed a sigh of relief and set about his duties.
Even without a full quota of lorries, Saturday afternoon traffic on the M1 was heavy and progress was delayed further by a sudden downpour near Leicester. Thus, they were a few minutes behind schedule when David pulled into the bus station in his home town shortly before six-thirty.
Having dropped off his passengers, he set off for the depot. He would have a few more minutes’ respite before setting off for home, fuelling his coach and putting it through the wash before parking it up for the night,
The town centre was quiet as he passed through; shops had closed before teatime, whilst the pubs and bars were starting to open and preparing for night to come. They were still quiet at the moment but would be busy later, full of Saturday-night revellers.
For the time being, the sound of David’s vehicle echoed through the empty streets. His eye caught familiar landmarks – the medieval parish church, the Victorian town hall, the art-deco flamboyance of the Odeon cinema. Then there were the distinctive outlines of familiar shops he had known since childhood like Woolworths, British Home Stores, Marks & Spencer, and Winkworth & Tattersall, once the local grocers and now an upmarket delicatessen. Not that the likes of his family had ever gone into a posh place like that.
Was he really about to say goodbye to all this? Completely disrupt the settled pattern of his twenty-five years of life? Part of him could not help being terrified at the thought. He would be leaving so much behind – much that felt familiar and safe. But he had been chafing against familiar and safe for months now. Surely the prospect of a new life in London with Alan was much better.
That was what he had to believe in order to sustain himself through the ordeal that he now faced. His new life would be exciting and challenging – but he’d have the love and support of somebody he’d known since the age of nine. It would be all right. He was going to be fine. Nevertheless, he swallowed hard as he turned into the depot, wondering whether any gossip had preceded him and, if so, what sort of reception he would get.
As he walked into the office to sign off and hand in his ticketing gear, he bumped into Jack Davis, the depot inspector, who was about to finish for the day. He nodded. “Evening, Jack.”
“Ah, David. I was hoping to see you before I left. Pop in here a second, will you?” Jack indicated a small ante-room by the entrance to the main office.
David did as he was asked but his heart was thumping in his chest. He remained standing and blinked nervously as Jack started to speak.
“I wanted to warn you. I know you got across Douggie Thorpe during that row over the London service back in April, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did.”
“He’s now gettin
g his revenge, as he usually does when people cross him. I gather you bumped into him in London last night?”
David shut his eyes, knowing what was coming next. His throat was constricted, so he couldn’t speak. He nodded.
Jack shook his head. “What were the odds on that, I wonder? Anyway, the point is that he’s already been on the phone, spreading it around. From what I can gather, all the members of the committee know, and it’s going from there.”
“Oh, Christ.”
“Don’t get me wrong – whatever happens in your personal life is your own business, provided it stays out of this depot. But I wanted you to know what’s being said. Not only about you being … about who you were with, but also about going behind Mona’s back. For some reason there’s some people here with some pretty strong views on that subject, and life may get a bit difficult.”
David took a deep breath and braced himself once more, as he had done first thing that morning with Alan. “Thanks for the heads up, Jack. Can’t say I’m surprised. I thought he’d move quickly. A good juicy bit of gossip like that – I bet he couldn’t wait.”
“Are you going to be all right?”
David gave a short bark of laughter. “I’ll let you know. Seriously, it’s my own fault – I’ve been havering about this lot for weeks. I could have done with choosing my own time but, other than that, it had to happen.”
“Should I look to cover your shifts next week?”
“I think you’d better, Jack. One way or another, I may not be here to work them.”
“Right you are. You’d better go and face the music, lad.”
“Yes, I had, hadn’t I?”
“All the best, David.”
Chapter 32
Alan
Simon, Peter and Alan enjoyed a long, relaxed and boozy lunch and eventually rolled home around five-thirty. His friends had generally done a good job in distracting Alan, stopping him from worrying when there was absolutely nothing he could do. David had to get back to Yorkshire and finish his duty before he would find out what consequences would flow from the previous night’s events.
Simon and Peter were going to a concert that evening, leaving Alan to his own devices. In theory, he welcomed some peace and quiet so he could relax and get his thoughts in order. But it quickly became clear that the practice was rather different, and that the last thing he would be doing tonight was relaxing, at least until he knew David was safe and out of harm’s way.
He took a long bath, and certainly the hot water and some special bath salts succeeded in soaking away much of the tension from his muscles. But any attempt to get his thoughts into any sort of order was completely futile.
His mind resembled a kaleidoscope – a continually shifting pattern of thoughts, worries and imagined scenes. In some, David confronted his enemies successfully. Others ended less well, with abuse of one sort or another, either physical or verbal. He pictured David at his parents’ house, prompting a flood of childhood memories. Alan could picture the rooms of the house quite vividly. What would happen there? A stern, unbending father deaf to the pleas of a loving mother, perhaps? David’s father was certainly capable of being stern, as the two boys had had occasion to discover in the past. Equally, he could be kind and very gentle. David’s mother, on the other hand, had always demanded the highest standards of behaviour from her children, and she could be very strict, especially if she thought that those standards of behaviour or manners were slipping. Quite how leaving a wife and children to go and live with a man would play on her scale of gentlemanly behaviour he didn’t know, but he guessed it would not be high.
As he got out of the bath, he heard the ping of the text notification on his phone. He grabbed for it and it almost slipped through his wet fingers, but he managed to prevent himself from dropping it.
DAVID:>> Just got back to the depot. Gossip about last night spreading quick. Now heading home.
Alan groaned. The poor lad! What now? He dried his hands and typed a quick reply.
ALAN:>> Inevitable, I suppose. Still bad news, tho. Go carefully. Love you.
DAVID:>> Will do. Will keep you informed. Luv U2.
Alan dressed and returned to his kitchen. He ought to think about supper, he supposed, but he was not very hungry after his generous lunch. He stared gloomily out of his window across the Common. It was starting to get dark and the lamps that illuminated the paths were just coming on, bathing those people walking across it in a blue-grey light.
He loved the view from his kitchen; it had been one of the things that had sold him the flat in the first place. He and David had stood here only last night, joking about all the adventures that might be happening out there somewhere. The cruising areas on the Common were famous; Alan had been forced to admit to visiting them himself several times when he first came to London. He had never been successful, though, being much too naïve and nervous to succeed in hooking up with someone.
He recalled the banter with pleasure, only coming back to earth when his phone pinged with another message.
DAVID:>> Home now. About to go inside. God. Am frightened, Al! Luv Davy.
ALAN:>> Stick to your guns. Remember always that I love you. Good luck.
Chapter 33
David
David felt slightly more relaxed as he went up the path to his front door, grateful for the contact, however brief and unsatisfactory, with Alan. He was unsure what sort of reception he would get; that would depend on what stories had reached his wife and from whom. Even if she had heard nothing yet, he knew he would have to come clean tonight. He could start by telling Mona about his relationship with Alan. It seemed to him that this was the best way to begin – to introduce the subject and gauge her reaction before deciding how to proceed.
The first thing he noticed when he got through the front door was how quiet everything was. No boys. That was a bad sign.
He walked into the kitchen, but that too was quiet. No signs of preparation for any supper for him, either. Another bad sign.
“Mona? I’m home. Where are you?”
“We’re in the front room.”
Odd – that isn’t Mona’s voice. It’s her mother’s. Oh Christ!
Faced with the fact of his mother-in-law’s presence, he realised that it was probably inevitable. It just hadn’t occurred to him that she’d be there.
He could have cut the atmosphere with a knife when he walked into the front room. Both women were sitting on the sofa, hands in their laps, mouths tightly shut with only the thinnest line of lip showing. He met Mona’s eyes; they were cold and unforgiving.
“Where are the boys?”
“They’re staying with my mum and dad tonight. Dad’s looking after them at the moment,” his wife said flatly. “I thought it would be best as we have to talk.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
To David’s intense relief, his mother-in-law rose to leave. “Right, Mona, now that he’s home I’ll leave you to it. Ring if you need me.” She walked to the sitting-room door, acknowledging David with a curt nod before turning back towards her daughter. “Goodnight, love.”
“Goodnight, Mum.”
Her mother closed the front door behind her.
“Tea?” his wife asked.
They moved into their narrow galley kitchen and Mona went to the sink. She filled the kettle and switched it on. David remained by the door, unsure of what to do or where to stand. Mona stayed by the sink. The silence between them lasted until she had made a pot of tea. David stood at the other end of the work surface, near the door to the hall, and watched her.
Once the tea had brewed, she turned to face him and folded her arms. “What’s going on, David? What happened last night?”
“I was leaving a pub in the West End with Alan and two of his friends – I kissed one of them on the cheek at the moment Douggie Thorpe was walking past.”
“And that’s all?”
“That’s exactly what happened. Douggie made some remark about telling you and
hating queers and stalked off. I take it he did tell you?”
Mona let out a bitter laugh. “Oh yes, he couldn’t wait. He was on the phone this morning before nine. Thought I ought to know that my husband was a queer, et cetera, et cetera.”
David nodded. “I assumed he would.”
“So, are you?”
“What?”
“What he said. Are you gay?”
He nodded. “Probably. At the very least bisexual.”
“And are you in a relationship with Alan Foreshaw?”
David nodded again. “Yes, I am.”
There it was. Out there. He’d managed to utter the words.
“Oh. My. God,” Mona responded, drawing out each word. There was a pause for a few seconds. Suddenly, she let out a short laugh. “Well, that answers a few questions, I suppose.”
There was another pause while she poured two mugs of tea and moved one along the worktop towards him. He thanked her.
“No, thank you, David Edgeley. For nothing. For lying to me and cheating on me for the last six years.” Her voice was rising in pitch, her tone becoming steadily more angry.
“No! Mona, No! It wasn’t like that at all. Please believe me.”
“Oh, come off it! Do you mean to tell me that you didn’t know, when you married me? That you were queer? You stood in that church and told lies so that I could be your cover story, didn’t you?”
David buried his face in his hands for a moment. Of all the scenarios he’d played out in his mind over the last few days, this hadn’t been one of them. The anger in his wife’s voice was obvious and expected, but he hadn’t expected the hurt. He had never thought of himself as having lied to her – at least not until Alan had come back into his life three months ago.
He lifted his head from his hands and met his wife’s eyes. They were full of tears and pain. She held his gaze for a moment and then turned away.