He tries to interrupt me but I stop him.
”No! Let me finish then you can talk, I need to get all of this out. I know I have no right to feel this betrayed that you slept with someone else, but that’s it Jax, I never slept with my own boyfriend and you were so quick to sleep with some random girl. It hurts so bad and it shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have these feelings for you especially when I know you don’t feel the same love I feel for you. Jax don’t you get it? I’m in love with you… and… I’m in love with Drake, what am I supposed to do now? Tell me Jax… because… I really don’t know…” I say as I burst into tears but he continues to stand there silently as I wait for him to say something comforting like he usually does. I push him off me with all the strength I’ve got, he moves away and gives me a sad look but he says... nothing.
I stand there for a few minutes waiting for something to come out of his mouth but he doesn’t say anything he only gives me a sad detached look, I can’t stand there another minute longer.
He doesn’t love me back….not the way I love him.
I turn and run back up the stairs as I get to my door I quickly wipe the tears away.
I have to get out of here…
I quietly walk into the bathroom and dress, I don’t really care what im wearing so I pull on a long vest and a pair of black tight leggings; I wash my face and pull my hair into a pony. I exit the bathroom and notice Drake is still fast asleep. I climb in bed behind him and cuddle up to him, I give him kisses on his cheeks and he begins to wake up.
As I look down at my handsome boy I scold myself for even thinking of leaving him for Jax, I tell myself that from now on I’m going to focus all my attention on him. Drake loves me as much as I love him and he deserves all the love I have…even if that means letting go of Jax. I swallow the lump that’s forming in my throat at the thought of losing Jax but it’s something that has to be done if I want to keep Drake.
“Hey babe, why you up already?” Drake says in a husky voice stretching out his arms.
I climb on top of him and hold tightly onto him with my face in the crook of his neck, I don’t want him to see the tears that are now falling. I’m going to miss him so much these next couple of days, I'm so ashamed of the way I’ve been acting and treating him, that’s why I’m crying. I’m not going to waste anymore of my tears on Jax.
I clear my throat as I say, “It’s already six in the morning cutie, I want to leave before everyone gets up. I can’t say goodbye to Ronny and them, it will be so much harder for me to leave but I had to say goodbye to you. I don’t know if I can do this Drake… I’m going to miss you so much.” I say as I look down at him.
He pulls me closer into him and cuddles me into him and nuzzles my neck.
“I know baby, but we’re going to speak to each other every night and I’ll see you this weekend. I don’t want you to go either but I have to do what’s best for you. I love you Lex and I’m going to be right here when you get back.” He gives me a soft kiss and hug. I climb off him and tell him he can go back to bed and I will text him when I get there.
All I have to take with me is in a raggedy old duffel bag and I’ve left clothes here for when I come back on weekends. I give him one last kiss then leave after putting a pair of Uggs on and Drakes hoody that he told me to take with because it smells of him.
I exit my room and keep my eyes away from Jax's door. I walk quickly out of the back door and to my car. I throw my bag in the backseat and climb in. I hear doors opening and the light turn on near the back door so I quickly reverse my car and drive away.
I look in my rear view mirror in time to see Jax run out the house calling me to come back but I just continue to drive away…away from Jax.
CHAPTER 30:
My phone has been ringing non-stop and I know who it is….Jax.
The pack house is quiet and it looks like everyone is still asleep, all the lights are off and since its cloudy and foggy outside the morning is still dark. I guess today is going to be just as gloomy as I feel.
I take my dirty boots off at the door leaving my socks on and tip toe up to my room. I step inside and tiptoe to my bed, my eyes start adjusting to the darkness. Just as I’m about to put my bedside light on I notice two large figures sleeping in my bed….Talon and Tyler.
I smile to myself. I love these boys.
I pull my hoody off and creep onto the middle of the bed between the two of them.
Damn they’re heavy sleepers…I thought werewolves had good hearing.
I climb under the covers in the middle. Tyler is lying on his stomach with his hands under his pillow facing the window. Talon is facing me, with his one arm bent under his pillow and the other resting on the bed near his chest.
I pull myself into Talons chest facing him, so that my ear is against his beating heart with my head under his chin. I gently lift his heavy arm and pull it over me as I pull my arm around his waist holding him close to me.
I sigh as I breathe in his scent which smells similar to Tyler’s which is sweeter where Talons is all musky and all man.
I pull him into me needing the comfort to soothe the sadness I feel after seeing Jax with the pretty girl, Talon tenses as he wakes up and then he puts his arm around me with his fingers lying on my lower back underneath my shirt. I hear him breathe in my scent and squeeze me gently as he kisses my forehead.
“Missed you my Angel…” he whispers against my temple.
“Missed you too Talon.” I whisper back and snuggle up to his warm body.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? What’s the time?” he says in a gruff morning voice.
It’s still early but I just needed to get away. I needed to see you guys…” I whisper swallowing my tears as I think about the past few days.
I wonder if they know that Georgina wasn’t my mother?
“You okay?” Talon says as he places his palm on my jaw and moves my face upwards to look at him, revealing my teary eyes.
“Oh no baby, don’t cry.” He wipes the tears away and holds me tight with his cheek against mine while he rubs my back gently. He pulls away from me after a few minutes and looks down at me with a troubled look on his face. “What happened?”
“Georgina’s not my mother…. And h...he wasn’t my father. I don’t know who is and Alex and Johnny have been lying to me the entire time. I don’t even know who’s telling me the truth anymore? I’m just so exhausted Talon.” He squuezes me as I let out a deep breath but I continue. “To make things worse, I’m so confused. I have a boyfriend but I’m in love with my best friend and I just caught a girl walking out of his room this morning dressed in his clothes. Then when I finally decide to tell him I’m in love with him he just stands there, he didn’t say anything. Not one word! I’m such a terrible girlfriend Talon, I don’t know why my emotions are all crazy, I know I love Drake but I know I need Jax and I don’t know how I will be able to be me... without him.” I ramble on as the tears and sobs break out again into my hands against his chest.
He pulls me closer into him and rubs my back, my cries and trembling body eventually stills while Talon whispers comforting words in my ear, I finally fall asleep embraced by his warm body shielding me.
I wake up and the room is still dark, I look over to Tyler who is still sleeping the same way I found him when I came in. I look up to see Talon just looking down at me; I take his hand and kiss it.
“Thank you.” I whisper. He smiles at me and kisses my forehead.
“Lexi?” I lift my head to look up at him, he moves the hair out of my face. “I love you too… you know.” He says shyly. I smile at him remembering the text I sent him and Tyler and the way each of them replied.
This is out of the ordinary for Talon to be so forth coming about how he feels but he’s obviously showing me that he’s trying and I appreciate it. I know how difficult it is to express your feelings to someone especially after you’ve kept them hidden for so long.
I grin at him and slowly kiss his cheek, “
I love you to Talon, thank you for telling me.”
He smirks, “I know its bad timing with your hole love triangle situation you got going on with those two boys but after you told me how you mentioned you loved Jax and he didn’t respond I wanted you to know that I love you… that we love you. It may not be how you love us or how you love them but we do love you. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are loved, people do silly shit when they want to feel cared for and I just wanted you to know you don’t have to seek out anything. Many people love you Angel, you just have to open your eyes and see that there are people here that appreciate you and want you.”
I don’t think Talon has ever spoken so much to me in one go. I know he means well and I can tell he’s talking from experience but I get after everything I’ve been through it just feels like a lot to take in.
“Why are you telling me this?” I whisper.
“You seem confused about your feelings for those boys as well as Tyler and I. I know you don’t mean to and I don’t mean to be harsh but you send out mixed signals to us guys babe and I know you don’t mean to, you obviously don’t even realize you do. You have a boyfriend Angel yet somehow you’ve found yourself in love with someone else, Jax is Drakes best friend right?” I nod.
“I think if you were really in love with Drake to begin with, you never would have fallen for Jax and if you really are in love with Jax like you say you are, then why are you still with Drake? I think the reason you throw out the words “I love you” so often is because you don’t feel loved and you need the “I love you’s” from other people to satisfy that craving or need. You’ve clearly never been in love before you met these boys and all of a sudden your infatuation with them has left you thinking it could be love. I know what it feels to truly be in love and I’ll tell you, when you are truly in love, no one else will matter.” He ends his last words off on a whisper as he looks into my eyes and runs his thumbs against my cheek bone.
For a guy with not so many words, he gave me a heck of a lot to think about. I don’t know if what he’s saying is true but I know Talon isn’t the type to bullshit you either. I know I should reply but I don’t have the right words to respond.
I feel movement behind me and I turn my head to see Tyler rolling onto his back. The room is quiet and I’m not sure how he could have slept through Talon and my whispering. I watch Tyler as he wipes his eyes with his hands then suddenly stops then I see and hear him sniff the air, he obviously smells me.
I can’t contain my laugh and I giggle out loud while Talon chuckles behind me. Tyler whips his head around and looks at me in shock.
“Took you long enough bro, I’ve had her cuddled up to me for the last hour.” Talon says as he possessively puts his hand around my waist and pulls me closer to him.
I hear Tyler growl before he reaches out and steals me away from Talon, pulling me into his chest and putting his face in the crook of my neck breathing me in and rubbing his cheek against mine.
It’s such a loving gesture and it felt like I could almost feel the pieces of my wrecked heart gluing itself together….piece by piece. Maybe it was a good thing I’m staying here with the boys…maybe they’ll be good for my broken heart and conflicted brain.
I wrap my arms around him and put my head on his chest. “Missed you so much.” he says as he holds me tight.
“Missed you too Ty.”
“I’m sorry about everything with...you know…wish I could help you or make you feel better.” He says sadly.
“Wait-how?” I stutter as I look back and forth between the twins.
“Talon told me everything...” Tyler says but I’m still confused.
“Mind link Lexi…” Talon explains.
“Oh Yeah…. Well I’m better now; you guys can take my mind off of all of that. Just don’t tell Johnny and Alex anything yet. I want to speak to them and find out the truth.” I say as I stretch out and fall back against the bed.
“Okay Angel…” they both say in agreement.
“What’s the time? I’m starved.” I say as I get out of bed and head for the curtains.
“It’s ten thirty, let’s get our girl fed.” Tyler says as he picks me up, throws me over his shoulder and walks out the room with Talon chuckling behind him. We make our way to the kitchen and Tyler sits me down on a chair.
I wonder where everyone is.
I hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs and Johnny appears, his face brightens up when he sees me and he quickly pulls me into a hug but I tense up.
These people that say they are my family have been lying to me... and since Georgina isn’t my mother and James isn’t my father, then Johnny and Alex aren’t my aunt and uncle. Who are they?
“I thought I smelt your scent in the house this morning.” Johnny says.
He notices my hesitance and pulls away to look me over, he looks hurt because I don’t return his hug.
“What’s wrong baby girl?” he says in a gentle voice.
I ignore his question. “Where’s Alex?” I ask avoiding his gaze.
“I’m here Angel, What’s wrong?” Alex says as she walks down the stairs with a worried expression on her face.
“I…I need to ask you guys something.” I say nervously.
“Let’s go talk in my office. “Johnny says as he gestures for us to follow him back up the stairs and to the passage towards the other end of the house.
We enter his office and sit on the suede chairs that are seated in the corner near large windows that overlook the lake. I shift in my seat as Johnny asks me, "What’s wrong Angel? Talk to us.”
“While Georgina was high she blurted out that I wasn’t her daughter...” I hear Alex gasp and see Johnny’s eyes widen. “and that James wasn’t my father. She said that James told her that he was told to take me from this pack and look after me but she was never told who my parents were. Why did you lie to me about him being my father and her my mother? Do you know who my parents are?” I say quietly in almost a whisper as I try to keep myself from crying as I think of the man I loved so dearly who I thought was my father but apparently is not who I thought he was.
I look up to see tears running down Alex’s face while Johnny has an angry look on his.
“She was high?” he asks in an angry tone.
“Yeah, she’s been taking drugs since da…” I shake my head, “…since James died. She used to only take prescription drugs for depression but started on heavier substances like coke.” I say sadly thinking about her.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” he shouts and I wince, Alex touches his arm and I see him calm down almost immediately.
“I’m sorry.” He apologizes and shakes his head looking at the ground as he tries to calm himself.
“Just tell me why you two lied? Who are you?” I say as I wipe a stray tear.
Alex decides to speak, she wipes away her tears and takes a deep breath before she starts. “We wanted to tell you, we didn’t want you to find out that way. James is my brother, that was the truth and he did take you away from here to look after you but they weren’t your parents and THAT woman is NOT your mother!” she says with hatred directed toward Georgina.
“We didn’t know he would find a mate, he was supposed to protect you… not leave you with her. When he was alive we would phone every single day to find out how you were doing and after he died, we lost contact with you, we sent the twins up there to look for you but Georgina couldn’t be found. Then I found you at the store and I knew it was you.”
Tears flow freely down her face and I don’t know why but it causes an ache in my heart as I watch her. Johnny rubs her back as Alex continues. “Angel….Johnny and I are your parents.” she says as she looks me in the eye with intense love.
I'm in shock and disbelief. I look back and forth between the two of them. I’m out of words. I have so much to say but I can’t find my voice.
“I…I…d…don’t understand? W…why didn’t you want me?” I say as the tears fall and I try to catch my
breath.
“We did baby girl…we wanted to keep you, we really did but it wasn’t safe to keep you here with us. You were the first half breed born and it was safer for you if people didn’t know that you were born, that’s why we sent James to take you to a territory that wasn’t run by wolves.”
“I still don’t understand, you are both wolves so how am I a half breed?” I ask wiping the tears away
“James and I were human honey; we were at the park with our parents late one afternoon when a rogue wolf attacked us. Johnny's fathers pack saved us but the wolf killed our parents and bit James. We didn’t know if James would survive, Johnny's father was alpha at the time and he brought us back to the pack house so he could make sure James survived his first shift. James was only sixteen and I was fifteen when the attack happened so we were still young and we didn’t have any family to take us in. The first time I met Johnny I knew something was special between us, Johnny knew I was his mate and it was very unusual because wolves usually find their mates when the female turns at eighteen but with Alphas it all depends on how strong the females are. Johnny and I’s bond was extremely strong and we completed the mating bond the day after we saw each other. I didn’t fully turn into a wolf until I was eighteen but I fell pregnant with you straight away, we weren’t sure if you would survive the full term of pregnancy but I never once had complications, you were a very strong and healthy baby. I remained hidden for the last few months when my belly started to show and only Johnny’s parents, James and the two of us knew about you. When you were born, you were so tiny and fragile I never wanted to let you go.” Alex cry’s as she shows me with her hands how small I was. “…we needed to make sure you were safe and that no one could hurt you. We named you Angel and that’s the name on your birth certificate but when Georgina met James, he told her this story about me running away so that she wouldn’t ask questions about you and our family and she came up with the idea that they should call you Alexia after me.” She rolls he eyes.
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