I don’t know why I held on to him and begged him to stay. I don’t know how I could love him and want him after what he did. He ruined me but I still loved him and blame myself for what happened.
I lay there thinking not even realizing Alex is in my room until she sits on the bed next to me.
“Hun please tell me what’s wrong? You don’t seem like yourself?” she says patting my back over the blanket. I hold back a wince as her hand lands on the abrasions.
I pull the hoodie so it covers my face even though I'm not facing her, I don’t want her to see anything. I haven't been able to look in the mirror since the night I had to cover the damaged with makeup. I just can’t bare to look at myself and see the damaged he’s caused. I know I’ve healed most of the bruises and my swollen eye but I can feel the scratches and there is still slight bruising. I could cover it up with makeup but I just don’t have the energy. I haven’t eaten since the day Ronny bought us pizza and to tell you the truth I just don’t have the appetite.
“Nothing’s wrong mom, I’m fine…just tired, been a long day.” I say pulling the blankets tighter over me.
“You forget that I'm a wolf I can sense when you’re lying to me and you’re lying! Tell me what happened Angel so I can help you.” she says getting louder sounding like a strict mother, it makes me a little happy inside that she cares so much to actually want to know what’s going on with me.
“You can’t help me…no one can.” I whisper to myself as a tear falls down and soaks into my pillow. I forget about her hearing.
“What? What does that mean? Talk to me please? Why are you so…closed off?” she says sounding sad she tries to turn me over but I shrug her off and pull my hoodie more over my head so it covers my face completely.
“I’m fine…just tired, please just leave me alone.” I say quietly trying to make my voice not sound muffled from the tears that are soaking my pillow.
I hear her sigh then get off the bed and walk out the room but she doesn’t close the door and I can hear her as she calls someone on the phone in the passage. My guess? Johnny…
I don’t know why they don’t use their pack link to talk to each other but I’ve got a feeling Alex wants me to hear her calling Johnny, she’s acting like a real mother and I like it even though I got a feeling Johnny will be visiting me shortly.
“Johnny, you need to come home!” Alex says in an unnerved voice.
“Well I couldn’t get through to you or the twins? Just listen to me Johnny, something is wrong with Angel, she’s not herself and she seems distant. I don’t know what to do…” she says panicking. There’s another pause.
“I’ve asked her, she’s lying to me. There’s something wrong. I think she’s hurt, but I don’t know where and she doesn’t want to talk to me.” Alex sounds sad and it hurts me to hear her that way.
“See you soon…I love you.” She says abruptly and I hear her walk into the room.
She doesn’t say anything but sits on the bed behind me gently rubbing my back. I really wanted to tell her not to touch me, I just can’t bare anyone’s hands on me but I knew she was just trying to help so I ignore the pain and let her attempt to comfort me.
An hour and a half goes by and she continues to sit there without saying a word. She probably thinks I’m sleeping but she continues to gently rub my back not knowing how much pain I am in at the moment by her hand continuingly running over the cuts that hide under my shirt.
I hear a car outside, as the lights from the car flash through the windows on to the walls of my dark room. I hear doors opening and slam close then I hear the front door open and hurried heavy footsteps up the stairs in my direction.
I hear the loud footsteps as they entered my room and the light is switched on. I hold my the hoodie over my head as Johnny comes and sits on the bed in front of my stomach, he lifts his hands and I flinch.
“Baby girl…talk to me.” he simply says and although he’s not ordering me and I’m not a wolf yet that would bend to his Alpha command, I really want to tell him…but I cant.
“Angel, please, tells us what’s wrong?” Talon says as he bends down in front of me, I can’t see his whole body but I can see his chest through the gap I’m peeking through under the material covering my face.
I watch him lift his hand and I recoil as he places it on my wrist over my sleeve trying to move my hand from my face.
“Why did you do that? Talk to me!” Johnny shouts and I whimper.
“Please just leave me alone…I just want to be left alone.” I beg them.
“Just tell us why you are acting this way!” I hear Tyler yell and it scares me hearing that coming from him.
“Please just - everyone get out!” I yell but I don’t hear any of them moving.
“Angel, please.” I hear Talon say softly close to me as he bends closer and pulls his face into my neck wrapping his large arms around me over the blanket that covers me. I flinch when he touches me and he senses it. I try to pull the blanket more but he grabs my wrist. I hear growls and Alex gasp from behind me.
“What is this? Who did this?” he grabs my wrist where the skin is still raw and looks at my bruised knuckles too.
“Oh my god!” Alex gasps behind me.
“Did you do this?” Johnny says pulling my blanket off my face, I squint as my eyes adjust to the bright overhead light in the room and try cover them with my hands but Talon grips my arms.
“ANGEL! What happened? Who hurt you like this?” Johnny yells making me recoil away from them.
Tyler comes running over, looking at my face and my hands, he pulls the blankets off me and lifts my shirt but I stop him before he can see anything.
“Tyler! Stop!” I yell. He places his hands on either side of my face as he looks my face over and whispers, “Who did this to you?”
“I… I don’t want to talk about it…please.” If they really knew what Drake did they would kill him. They most probably know I’m lying but they give each other a look and don’t ask questions.
“Please just leave me alone, I’m exhausted, I just want to be alone to sleep please.” I beg as tears fall down my face. Alex and Tyler have sad looks on their faces while Talon and my father are trembling with anger.
“Okay all of you out…NOW!” Alex shouts at the boys when they won’t move. Eventually Tyler gets up and kisses my cheek as he leaves, my father gives me a gentle hug not saying a word but I can sense he is still angry. Talon approaches me and holds me in his arms gently and whispers against my ear, “I’m going to find who did this to you my Angel….and I’m going to kill them.” He kisses my cheek then says softly, “I love you.” Before he walks out.
I roll over again and face the window not realizing Alex is still in the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You should’ve told me honey, I would have helped you.” she says dejectedly as she sits on the bed in front of me looking down moving the hair out of my face.
“I’m sorry.” I say wiping away the last few tears.
“No. I'm sorry Angel, I should have protected you. I knew something was wrong when you walked in here the way you did but I didn’t do anything!” she says blaming herself.
“Don’t blame yourself; you didn’t do this to me.” I reach out and place my hand over hers.
“Where do you hurt sweetie? What did they do to you? Tell me so I can help you.” She says pulling the blanket away from me.
“Mom…It hurts everywhere.” I tell her as she lifts my shirt gently and takes a closer look at the bruising on my ribs. She helps me pull the jacket off and takes another look at the large footprint on my one side, there’s blood on the back of my shirt where she was rubbing my back earlier. Obviously she opened the wounds unknowingly. She frowns as she moves to look at my back. She gasps and covers her mouth.
‘No….no…Angel…please tell me they didn’t…no.” she says shaking her head in disbelief as she looks down at the strips of blood that have soaked through my cotton shirt.
I can’t lie about this…the memory of how he violently whipped me is too fresh and the tears start falling from my eyes as I stare at her blankly. She takes this as my reply and she grasps and covers her mouth and she screams out loud “No…no...no!” then she kneels on the floor covering her face as she cries out hard rocking her body back and forth.
Johnny comes rushing in and runs to her side, I attempt to lift my battered body off the bed to get to her. I cry out as I eventually sit up straight and I notice the twins stepping into the room looking panicked just standing there frozen.
“What happened Alex?” Johnny asks her as he pulls her into his arms on the floor.
I pull myself off the bed but fall to my knees due to my body being too weak, I crawl to Alex before the twins can get to me.
She pulls me into her on top of Johnny’s lap, he wraps his arms around both of us and Alex holds me close as she continues to cry. I touch Alex’s shoulder gently as I tell her, “Please don’t cry. I’m okay…please…stop crying.” She is an emotional woman but I've never seen her cry this hard.
“Yeah Angel is fine, look at her…we need to be thankful she's still alive. Stop crying my love.” Johnny tells her gently.
“Fine? No you are not! You are broken and I can see it in your eyes and I can hear it …your heartbeat doesn’t beat as fast and lively as it used to…you all can hear that too, don’t deny it!” She shouts at the twins and Johnny. “It’s like you’re not fighting anymore…you’re giving up! How can someone destroy you like that? Whip you like an animal.” She says covering her face crying again.
“Whip?” Johnny asks tensing, I watch as his eyes grow darker and it scares the living shit out of me. I slowly back away till I feel the base of the bed against my back.
“She was whipped…they whipped our little girl as if she was some wild animal.” Alex stutters trying to catch her breath. I look and see all the men with black eyes, I panic as I remember the black eyes of Sebastien, it feels like the walls are closing in and I need to claw my way out.
I start freaking out and my breath is labored, no one says anything but they continue to look at me with black seething eyes. The bathroom door to my side is open and I quickly run through it, I run through the boy’s room and down the passage looking for the exit. My body is aching and weak and my legs are trembling beneath me. The only thing keeping me from falling is my will to find safety, away from those terrifying black eyes.
I hear heavy steps behind me as the twins run after me and I find the door. I run past a couple of people and into the big back yard, I turn to see how close the twins are and I slam into a hard object, I fall to the ground and I realize it was Talon. I back away on the ground and cover my face.
“Please…please don’t hurt me…please.” I cry out loud waiting for the blows.
“Baby come here, we won’t hurt you. No one will ever hurt you again, do you hear me? I will make whoever did this pay…I swear. You can trust us Angel…you know you can, you don’t ever have to be afraid of us. We love you and we are here to protect you.” Tyler says lifting me up and carrying me against his chest. I nod my head unable to form words through my sniveling.
"Let’s get you to bed babe.” Talon says kissing my cheek.
CHAPTER 39:
The months fly by, I’ve had contact with Drake and I’ve seen him regularly just as he promised. I was scared the first time but he seemed different and I can already tell he is in control of his wolf.
He is just like the perfect Drake I met at school my first day and I love him more for learning to control his wolf for me. He treats me with so much care as if he might break me, he doesn’t realize that you can’t break what’s already broken… he apologizes to me regularly and spoils me more than I deserve.
I’ve apologized to Ronny and Chloe, I still chat with them all the time and visit them when I visit Point Bright. Jax is never around when I see Drake and I’m thankful.
My relationship with the twins has changed dramatically. We no longer share a bed and I try to avoid them as much as possible. I know I love them but its safer to stay away from them. I hardly sleep these days due to the nightmares that haunt me when I close my eyes or the fact that I battle to sleep when I’m alone. I miss the connection the twins and I had but I learnt my lesson and if this is the only way to keep them safe from Sebastian then this is how it is meant to be. I miss their old ways and the way I used to feel safe in their arms.
They’ve kept their distance from me too and they’re hardly at home these days too. I guess I’ve pushed them away for good. I overheard Alex talking to Johnny one evening about her not liking the twin’s girlfriends and to say my heart hurt is an understatement. I didn’t know the twins were dating anyone and they’ve never brought any girls around to the pack house either. I guess they were keeping it from me and I can’t blame them, I did push them away after all. Every time the twin’s new girlfriends were mentioned I took it as my punishment for stringing the boys along the way I did, for playing with people emotions. I felt I deserved to stay with someone like Drake and the twins deserved someone as amazing as them and that didn’t have the issues that I had.
I still have a problem with being touched and I’m really jumpy nowadays but Johnny says that it will get better once I gain my confidence back. I don’t think I ever had confidence in myself to begin with so I’m not sure where to get it from. Johnny has been spending all his extra time training me since I graduated early. He has trained me to take on human form and to defend myself against a wolf when he is in wolf form. Everyone has become really protective over me and I'm never alone, truth is I’m happy they keep me busy, it stops me from thinking about the events of that one night as well as all I’ve lost due to my stupid and childish behavior.
Slowly and surely I’m getting to the point where I’m not afraid to be around wolves when I see their eyes darken. I’m not there yet but I’m getting there.
It’s the morning of my friend’s in Point Bright’s graduation and tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be staying with Drake tonight and I’ve already told them I’ve got to be back at Alex’s tomorrow, so early in the morning I’ll leave so that I can help Alex set up for my Ceremony tomorrow night - whether I turn or not … I’ll be welcomed to the pack. I don’t know what this will mean for Drake and I but I know I belong with my family.
My friends still don’t know it’s my birthday tomorrow, I’m the youngest of the group and they shared birthdays before I arrived so I guess the thought never crossed their minds. Although Drake and I haven’t discussed what will happen after he graduates I can sense that he’s worried about it. Truth is I havnt quite figured out what I want to do now that I’ve graduated and I’m not sure if I’ll be moving back down to Point Bright after they graduate…I just don’t feel safe there anymore.
I arrive at the High School and head for the field where the Graduation ceremony is taking place.
I spot my friends sitting in the front row with the gowns and caps on and they all look cheerful and excited, it makes me happy to see them this way. I never had the full graduation ceremony because I completed my studies early, I received my certificate and was invited to attend the ceremony but I wouldn’t have been able to attend because I would’ve missed Drakes and I knew how excited he was for me to be here supporting him. I didn’t want to upset him.
I sit near the back in the crowd and watch as each of them go on stage to collect their certificate, Drake instantly spots me and waves from the stage with a huge grin on his face, I smile and clap my hands for him. I spot Jax also receiving his certificate and I can see his eyes looking over the crowd as if searching for someone, I drop my head hoping he doesn’t see me.
When the ceremony is finished, Drake comes running up to me, he picks me up and swings me around. “Drake! Stop…put me down!”
“It’s finally over babe! No more high school!” he yells excitedly making me smile.
“Congratulations! I’m so proud of you!” I give him a kiss,
he smiles and holds me tight against him.
He holds my jaw tightly with both hands and looks me in the eyes, “Say it.” he whispers and I know exactly what he wants. He does this every time he sees me, it’s as if it eases him to hear me say I love him.
“I love you.” I say meaning it.
“Thanks babe I love you too. Now we just have your ceremony then we both will finally be done with High School.” He says holding my face and giving me a big kiss excitedly.
“I’m not having one.” I mumble looking away from him at all the happy cheerful graduates.
“I know you graduated early but they should still allow you to attend your own graduation? I was even going to ask the Alpha of Alex’s pack if I would be able to enter his territory so that I could attend?” he says not understanding what I was trying to say.
“They invited me to the actual ceremony but I declined. I already received my certificate.” I say.
“Why wouldn’t you want to attend your own graduation?” he asks confused.
“It was today Drake.” I tell him looking around avoiding his eyes.
“Shit Lex…I’m so sorry. You should of told me, I would of rather watched you graduate. Damn…” he says running his hands through his hair looking down.
“It’s okay Drake, I got to see all of you graduate and it’s just a ceremony right? I have already graduated in any case. I’m so happy for all of you though.” I tell him giving him a hug.
“Thank you babe, come! Let’s go meet everyone at the restaurant.” He says gleefully pulling me behind him.
We arrive at the restaurant.
The same restaurant we went to the day after Drake…Yeah after he did…what he did…
Alexia Eden Page 33