by Steph Post
Samuel was already sitting behind a mahogany, kidney-shaped desk, scratching away at papers as if he hadn’t just arrived a moment before Hayden. He gestured for Hayden to sit down, but Hayden remained standing in the doorway while he glanced around. From the outside, the wagon was the same size as the others, but inside there seemed to only be half the space, and most of it was taken up by the imposing desk. There was a lamp hanging above Samuel’s head, but he hadn’t lit it, and the only light came filtering in through the one dusty window. The wagon walls were cluttered: old circus playbills hung alongside framed oil portraits of white men in powdered wigs and carved African masks with elongated, animal-like features. Hayden had only been in Samuel’s wagon once before and he noted that nothing seemed to have changed in the years since.
Hayden pinched the crown of his hat and removed it before easing himself into the chair across the desk from Samuel. He decided to just go ahead and get it over with.
“So, is this about Ruby? Or is this about Tom?”
Samuel pulled out his watch and glanced at it. He frowned before tucking it back into his pocket.
“Now why would you say either of those?”
“Because you don’t like the fact that I’m back and especially don’t like the fact that I could be back spending time with Ruby. And Tom, well, Jesus Christ, if you aren’t the tenth person today to insinuate I killed him.”
Samuel picked up a pen and signed one of the many papers scattered across the oxblood leather inset on top of his desk. Hayden knew he was doing it for effect. Taking his time, trying to make Hayden squirm. It was one of the reasons he couldn’t come to terms with Samuel, even though he understood how important he was to the Star Light. Hayden considered himself a patient man, but of the few things he couldn’t stand, putting on airs was at the top of his list. And in his eyes, Samuel was the very epitome of pretension. He waited silently, though, for Samuel to quit showing off and get to the point. Samuel set the pen down, carefully folded up the paper he had just signed and then slid it underneath a thick leather ledger on the corner of his desk. He cut his eyes up at Hayden and frowned.
“Ruby. No.”
Samuel finally raised his head and sat up straight, squaring his shoulders back.
“No, I don’t like you with Ruby. That girl has been through enough without having to consider your vacillating decisions.”
“Last I checked, Ruby wasn’t a girl. She’s a woman, and she can make her own choices about who she wants in her company.”
“And Eileen? Was she a woman as well? Or just a girl? Would you like to enlighten me on the facts of that situation?”
Hayden clenched his jaw, but kept his eyes on Samuel.
“Ruby tell you that?”
Samuel was returning the stare.
“God, no. Do you think she would tell me a thing like that? She’d most likely go to the ends of the earth to protect your sorry little secret. Though I am glad to hear that you’ve told her. It was going to have been a very awkward conversation if I had been forced to broach the subject myself.”
Hayden tossed his hat on the desk and leaned back in the chair.
“Then how do you know?”
“I make it my business to know.”
Samuel looked down at the spread of papers in front of him.
“But right now, whatever is going on between you and Ruby is not my concern.”
Hayden crossed his arms.
“So this is about Tom.”
“Yes.”
“And you think I killed him?”
Samuel frowned.
“Why would I think that?”
Hayden leaned forward.
“Because everybody else seems to think so. One of the splinterheads outright accused me of it. Said that I had showed back up so I could have a go at January and then murdered Tom to get him out of the way. Biggest load I ever heard. I would’ve rattled his teeth for him if he wasn’t already a half-wit. And now I guess you’ve hauled me in here to accuse me of the same ridiculous thing.”
“No.”
“I mean, everyone in the whole damn carnival knows I only ever had eyes for Ruby. Me being jealous of someone with January? Come on. And who even said Tom was murdered? One minute everyone is saying he got drunk and fell. Then it’s that he offed himself like the geek on the swing. And then all of a sudden, no, somebody killed him. And that somebody could’ve been me.”
Samuel shook his head slowly.
“Everyone is just excited. Two shocking deaths in the span of a week. They’re just trying to make sense of it all. Some of the new hands don’t know you, so they’re lashing out because you’re unfamiliar to them. That sentiment will pass quickly.”
“But you know me. You think I did this?”
Samuel gave what for him passed as a smile, a narrowing of the eyes without a frown.
“Of course not.”
Hayden picked up his hat and tapped the brim on the edge of the desk.
“Then what the hell am I doing in here, Samuel? I need to get back on the midway.”
“I want to know what you think.”
Hayden groaned.
“What I think? About Tom?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Samuel sighed and folded his hands on the desk.
“Because I saw you looking at the scene this morning. Everyone else was staring at Tom, but you were looking up at the Wheel. I saw the cogs in your mind turning as you measured angles, considered possibilities.”
Hayden put his hat on his head and gave Samuel a sly smile.
“You could tell all that just from looking at me, huh? Or is it maybe that no one else wants to talk to you about Tom’s death, but you just can’t resist harassing me. And though you think you know everything that goes on, everywhere, all the time, you don’t.”
Samuel didn’t blink.
“I know that Franklin did not want to take you up in the Wheel before we opened today, but you convinced him to. So you were looking for something. Unlike most of the others, you’re not overreacting and you’re not sticking your head in the sand. You’re working the problem. Now tell me what you’re thinking.”
Hayden reached into his pocket and pulled out his package of cigarettes. He removed one and held it up for Samuel to see. Hayden knew Samuel detested smoking and wouldn’t allow it in his wagon. He raised his eyebrow at Samuel and Samuel looked from the cigarette to Hayden and then nodded in irritation. Hayden grinned.
“All right then.”
Hayden lit the cigarette and blew out a stream of smoke.
“The show was dark and we were all half-under last night. I saw Tom early on and he was bent even then. So I think he was drunk and stupid, decided to climb up the Wheel and then he fell. That body wasn’t moved there, it landed there.”
“So you don’t think there was any foul play.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Hayden tapped the top of the desk with the hand holding the cigarette.
“I think he fell. But you saw the angles. He had to have fallen from one of the cars, not while climbing up the spokes. So, if he was sober enough to be able to climb near to the top of the Wheel and make it safely into one of the cars, I don’t think he would’ve been so flush that he just toppled out by accident.”
“You think he was pushed.”
“I don’t know.”
Hayden squinted through the smoke.
“I mean, I don’t see someone climbing up there with him. I think if someone did, and tried to push him or what have you, they both would have gone over. It’s a Wheel tub, they’re not stable if you stand up in one, let alone have a struggle.”
Samuel frowned.
“You think it was suicide, then?”
Hayden tapped a lump of ash from his cigarette onto the floor.
“See, I just don’t know about that either. I mean, come on. He’s got a job, got a girl. I didn’t know Tom from Adam, but he didn’t seem like the theatrical type.”
“Then what?”
Hayden leaned forward.
“Look, Samuel, I wasn’t there, I don’t know what happened. You asked me what I thought. So that’s it. I think he fell, but I don’t think it was an accident. Something just isn’t right about the whole picture. When I went up in the Wheel, I was just trying to get a feel for it. The car he was in, the height, that sort of thing.”
“Yes?”
“But when I was up there, just looking around, I noticed something odd. If you’re looking straight out ahead, you can clearly see the woods behind the truck lot. Well, dead ahead of the Wheel, it looked as if the tops of the trees had been broken off. Just the very tops. And just in that one spot, almost like a corridor going back through the woods. I’m not certain, though. It could’ve been a trick of the light. That’s not how wind usually works, going in just a streak like that.”
“So you think Tom might have been knocked out of his seat by a gust of wind?”
Hayden shook his head.
“It was a perfectly still night last night. Not a breath of air moving. How could one gust, strong enough to break tree branches, come out of nowhere? Wouldn’t other folks have noticed it? Heard it?”
“So you don’t think it was the wind.”
“Jesus Christ, Samuel. I have no idea. Didn’t I just say that about a half-dozen times? I just think it’s an unusual death. It doesn’t add up. That’s all.”
Hayden stood up and flicked his cigarette. Samuel stood up as well.
“That’s not all you think.”
Hayden was turning to leave, but stopped. Samuel came slowly around the side of the desk.
“You were also staring at a man this morning. You couldn’t take your eyes from him.”
Hayden nodded cautiously.
“The geek. Daniel.”
“Yes. Why were you staring at him?”
Hayden glared at Samuel and then dropped his cigarette on the wagon floor and ground it out with the toe of his boot.
“Listen. The only thing I know is that something isn’t right about the whole picture. First the geek, Jacob, hanging himself. Killing himself out of nowhere. No note, no reason that anyone can think of. I mean, are we even sure he wasn’t strung up by someone else?”
Samuel narrowed his eyes.
“The coroner called it a suicide.”
“Okay, but it’s still an unexplained suicide. Don’t tell me you think Jacob’s death was cut and dry.”
Samuel shook his head.
“No.”
“And now this with Tom. Another death that doesn’t make sense, only this one with even stranger circumstances. Are you telling me it’s just a coincidence?”
“I’m not telling you anything.”
Hayden jammed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.
“Oh, right, right. You want to pick my brain, but you want to keep your secret theories to yourself. Well, go ahead. All I can say is that there’s something about Daniel being here that just doesn’t sit right with me. I haven’t shared two words with the man, and I’m not throwing the blame around yet, especially when my name is still first on everybody’s tongue, but I just have a feeling that Daniel’s got something to do with it all. Everyone said he was chasing January right in front of Tom, so maybe that was it.”
“But you don’t think that was it.”
“Look, Samuel. I’m done talking about this. Something’s just off with the Star Light this go ’round. Something doesn’t feel right. You don’t have to say it, but I know you feel it, too. And whatever it is, I know it has to do with that new geek.”
Hayden touched the brim of his hat and opened the wagon’s door. The low evening sunlight hit him directly in the eyes and he flinched. As he banged down the steps, he knew that everything he had said to Samuel was true. He might not have even realized it before, but now he was certain: it all went back to Daniel. He could feel it. He just couldn’t begin to explain it.
Ruby carefully untangled herself from Hayden and slipped off the edge of the bed. She was pulling her boots on when she heard Hayden’s breathing change. She knew he was awake, listening to her in the dark. Ruby stood up from tying her laces and whispered.
“I’m just going for a walk. I need to think.”
She heard the sheets rustle as Hayden turned over. His voice was a sandy mumble.
“You want me to come with you?”
“No.”
She reached out and groped across the bed for Hayden’s hand. Ruby touched his warm, curled fingers and then stepped outside onto the wagon steps and quietly shut the door. The silent midway was lit up by moonlight and the towering Ferris Wheel cast long, spidery shadows across the trampled earth. The carnival only slept during the very depths of night, the quiet space a few hours after the last show had ended and a few hours before dawn broke and the earliest risers straggled to the cookhouse tent in the hopes that Jimbo had water boiling for coffee. It was during this brief respite, when the Star Light paused for breath, that Ruby loved to roam the carnival grounds. Tonight, though, she wanted to be far away from the midway and the enveloping tents and the monstrous Wheel. She headed for the far side of the lot, beyond the row of empty cargo trucks, to the field and the woods beyond.
Pontilliar had insisted on running the Ferris Wheel, even though Franklin had warned him it was bad luck to operate a ride immediately after a death. Even Samuel had suggested they shut it down for at least one day, but Pontilliar had refused. The Baton Rouge crowd was the largest they’d had in a month and they were playing it out until the end of the week. To keep the townsfolk coming back night after night they needed the brilliantly lit Ferris Wheel spinning over their heads, enticing them to shell out for just one more ride.
Once Tom’s broken body had been removed and the site swept over, Pontilliar had also made it clear that if anyone else on his crew felt like dying they’d better let him know so he could kill them first. Tom was a First of May man and had only been with the show since the opening of the season when he’d joined up in Georgia. Pontilliar wouldn’t have remembered Tom’s name if it hadn’t been on everyone’s tongue and he was unmoved by the effect his death was having on the rest of the Star Light. He couldn’t see that the unease trickling through the show had nothing to do with who Tom was. It was the circumstances of his unnatural death and the discovery of his body, splayed out for all to see. It brought Jacob’s death into a new light, now that it wasn’t the only one, and it stirred questions in the minds of the carnival workers. There were whispers of madness. And of murderers.
Ruby had spent the day avoiding the knots of speculation that congregated at the cookhouse and behind the show tents. The apprehension was gnawing at her, too, but she didn’t want to talk about it. Despite Pontilliar’s protestations, the cootch tent had gone dark and there was nothing he could do about it. The dancers had secluded themselves in their wagon, creating a quiet place for January to grieve, and no one, not even Ruby, was welcome inside. She had only been able to send word of her condolences through Wanda at the wagon threshold. Ruby had gone through the motions of her show like always, but her heart was in it even less than usual. She’d been relieved when the night was finally over and she could put the snakes back in their boxes. Ruby had found Hayden sitting on her wagon steps, waiting for her, and she had let herself fall into him.
Ruby waited until she reached the long, dew-soaked grass of the field to light a cigarette. She had to cup the match against the slight breeze that had stirred up, but the shift in the wind felt delicious. She threw back her head and felt the cool air on her neck and throat. There was too much to think about. Tom’s death, yes, but also now Hayden. Hayden’s return. She didn’t know if she could trust it, but she wanted to. And there had been an ease now, too, knowing he had already hurt her once so badly; he would never be able to do it again. Before, she had felt almost helpless, bound by the sudden realization of her need for him. She’d been drunk on Hayden that summer, staggered a
nd reeling in the fever she’d discovered with him. She had been floating then, but now was grounded solidly by the doubt and disappointment she’d endured. The past two years had given her strength. She wanted Hayden, yes, but she no longer needed him, and there was a power in that knowledge. Ruby stood in the middle of the field, cigarette in hand, the breeze shifting long tendrils of hair around her face, and felt free.
And then she saw the eyes. Ruby froze. They were low to the ground, belonging to a wild dog perhaps, but luminous, with a strange reddish glow. Ruby took a long drag on her cigarette and slowly started walking toward the edge of the woods. The eyes moved, coming out of the shadows, and now Ruby could see the outline of a fox, skulking along the perimeter of the field. She stopped again, waiting to see what the animal would do. The eyes disappeared as the fox turned and she could barely make out its shape, just movement through the long grass. Ruby couldn’t tell if the fox was coming closer or moving farther away. She strained to see in the darkness, scanning the field, and then the eyes reappeared again, this time much closer.
The fox was big, the largest one she had ever seen, but she could tell by the narrow head and the large brush of its tail that it wasn’t a dog or a wolf. It was unusually tall with long, spindly legs and high, pointed ears. She wasn’t frightened, but the animal’s strange, garnet eyes held her. They seemed to flicker, and Ruby took a step closer, bristling with the odd sensation that the animal wasn’t just watching her, but had recognized her. Just as she was not afraid of it, the fox did not appear to be afraid of her and this was contrary to everything she knew about the creatures. She kept her gaze fixed on the fox, but suddenly it bounded away, rustling through the grass. Ruby thought she saw it disappear back into the woods, but it might as well have disappeared into the ether. Her cigarette had gone out and she dropped it into the grass. The night was suddenly stifling and Ruby gathered her hair and held it up off her neck. She continued to look out at the tree line of the woods, but the fox had vanished.