by Brittle, D M
“Okay.” Blake replied simply.
“Okay?”
“Yes,” Blake stood and headed around the table to me, crouching as he reached my chair so we were at eye level. “Can I tell you something?” He said as he took my hands in his.
“Anything.”
“When I woke last night and heard you crying? I thought I had lost you to Cooper.” Blake shook his head and huffed out a short breath. “I mean, I know that is ridiculous because he’s dead, but I honestly thought that you were crying because you felt something for him and when I fixed the papers and read them myself this morning, I convinced myself that you were going to tell me this morning that you had loved him too.”
“Blake,” I sighed as I reached up and stroked his cheek, “how could you even think that?”
“I suppose I became the paranoid one,” Blake laughed once before his smile dropped and sadness appeared once more. “I suppose that because I love you so much and everything that we have is perfect, it makes me fear losing you a million times more than I ever did before.”
“Blake,” I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. As our lips parted I rested my brow against his, “I am so sorry that I made you feel that way.”
“I’m sorry that I doubted you,” Blake replied.
“So we have been back in New York for less than twenty-four hours and already had more than enough drama. What is it with us and New York?” I laughed.
“Well as we are getting everything out in the open today then there is something that I have to tell you,” Blake said cautiously, which stemmed my laughter.
“Why do I not like the sound of the tone you just used?”
“Because I’m not sure how you are going to take this news.” Blake stood and ran his fingers through his hair before walking around me and pulling out the seat next to me.
“Blake you’re scaring me,” I said nervously as he sat and turned to me with a smile.
“I’ve quit the show,” He said quickly.
“You’ve…. you’ve done what?” I asked, sure that I must have misheard.
“I’ve quit the show,” he said again firmly.
“Why? I mean, you have been a part of that show; no, not a part of the show,” I corrected myself. “You are that show, for six years you have been that show, you can’t just quit, what will they do?”
“I don’t care,” Blake smirked as he shrugged his shoulders.
“Are you on something?” I rubbed my brow frantically trying to process Blake’s news. “Okay, I’ll ask you again, why?”
“Because,” Blake said as he reached forward and swept my hair from my face, “I don’t want to miss a single second of seeing my babies grow up. When we were in London, I realized that as soon as we got settled over there again and into a routine with our children, I would have to leave you, and I don’t want to leave you, ever.”
“What are you saying? That you are never going to work again? Because that would be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.” I laughed lightly but Blake’s face remained impassive. “We would have come back with you Blake, you know that we would.”
“Of course I am not saying that I never want to work again, what I am saying is that I don’t want to uproot our children so soon after taking them home Jo, and I don’t want to be away from you all either. Filming takes up a lot of time, time that I could be spending with the three of you. I don’t want to miss the first time that our babies smile or not be there when they get ill and need daddy cuddles. I want to be there Jo, for everything.”
“But you love that show Blake.”
“I love you more,” he said simply.
My heart swelled with pride at how Blake always put everyone else’s needs before his own.
“What have they said about you leaving?”
“I don’t know yet,” he smirked. “I rang Ester when we were in London a couple of days back, she hasn’t got back to me with their reaction yet, but you know what? I have priorities now and they are all sat on this chair.” Blake tugged my chair towards him before placing his lips to mine.
“They are not going to be happy,” I smiled against his lips, “but I think the babies and I are going to love having daddy with us twenty-four seven.”
Blake sighed happily before he stood and walked back around the table, sitting down to his breakfast. “So, what do you want to do today?”
“I want to finish my breakfast and then spend the rest of the day with my husband, alone in our home, no telephone calls, no TV, no interruptions, nothing, just us; what do you think?”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Ready to go?” Blake stood at the door waiting for me as I fastened up my coat ready to leave the apartment for the first time since arriving back here six days ago. New York had been ground to a halt when a snowstorm moved in four days ago and was still very present. Main roads were being cleared constantly but most people were staying indoors as advised which made today the most appropriate day for me to say my final goodbyes to Cooper. We were headline news yet again after news of Blake quitting the show had gone viral, of course the media were busy speculating again as to why he had quit, and again they were making up their very own versions of what could have happened to make him leave but Blake and I had decided that from now on, the media could speculate what they wanted to, we knew the truth and that was all that mattered. There was still a scattering of reporters hanging around outside our apartment building although most had given up when the weather worsened and Blake and I had stayed locked up in our bubble.
Blake didn’t feel comfortable driving me to Cooper’s grave for fear that someone would spot our car so we would be followed so he had contacted Christina and arranged a car to take us, along with two of her best security men. Six months ago, my jealousy towards Christina could have cost me my life when I refused her help to look after me while Blake was in Miami, today as I stood here seven months pregnant and married to Blake, my jealousy towards all woman including Christina had evaporated.
We exited the underground car park un-noticed and arrived at Cooper’s grave just twenty minutes later.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Blake asked as I unbuckled my belt.
“No,” I smiled nervously, “thank you but I need to do this by myself, I won’t be long.” I leaned towards Blake and placed my lips to his. “I love you,” I told him as I climbed out of the car and took the short stroll to where I could see Cooper’s grave. There was an eerie silence around the graveyard; no one else seemed to have ventured out today which made what I needed to do far easier.
“Hey,” I placed my hand onto the headstone feeling a shiver running up my spine as though Cooper was present. “Sorry it has taken me so long to come and see you, I only found out the truth about what happened this week and to be honest, when I was told that you had been working alongside Sara, well, surely you know why it has taken me this long to come here.” I sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “So Cooper Henderson kept a diary,” I laughed. “Who would have ever thought that Cooper Henderson, ladies’ man and most eligible bachelor in New York, would have kept a diary? Most unbelievable of all, who would have thought that your diary would prove to be so vital as evidence. You really did pour your heart out into that diary didn’t you? I wish you had told me about Sara, Cooper, or gone to the police and told them what Sara was doing, I felt so angry with you the other night when I read the evidence because you shouldn’t be where you are now and I shouldn’t be stood here talking to your headstone. Sara went into rehab for a reason Cooper and you were never going to be able to fix her like you could have done had she have just gone back there in the first place. She would be out now, she would be living her life as normal, and you… well, you would still be alive and happy and living your life the way you used to, that too makes me feel so angry with you Cooper. I can’t get my head around it all, even now; I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell someone. You could have been a hero Cooper, if you had just do
ne the right thing.” I looked around at the other gravestones that surrounded Cooper’s.
“You’re the youngest person here you know, all of these others died as old people, they had all lived a full life and I bet they had some wonderful memories. I felt the emotion building inside before laughing at something that I had remembered, “Do you remember last winter when we went skating at Rockefeller Center? You were trying to flirt with one of the fellow skaters and she just couldn’t see it,” I began to laugh harder at the memory.
“When she finally realized what you were doing and told you that she was a lesbian and the girl she was skating with was her girlfriend, you fell over right on your arse and ended up with a badly sprained ankle. The pain must have been so bad but you plastered on that fake smile, got up and carried on as though nothing had happened. I bet you went home and wrote about that in your diary too didn’t you?” My laughter stemmed as the emotion returned,
“We had some good times together didn’t we Cooper? Many happy memories, before it all went so wrong. I still can’t believe that you’re gone, I keep expecting to bump into you or get a text or a call, or even see you jogging around your very own little track in Central Park that you created.” I paused for a moment before continuing, “by the way, Blake and I got married and I haven’t gained weight because I had a good Christmas either, I am pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl, I found out the day that you died that we were going to be parents.” I sighed and forced myself to keep my emotions at bay. “Well, I’m going to have to go now; this cold weather is no good for a pregnant lady’s bladder.” My smile quickly faded as I was about to say my final goodbye. “I miss the good times that we had Cooper, that’s something that I will always think about when I think of you; the good times. I don’t want to think about the bad times, I don’t want to remember you as that person, I want to remember you as the friend that you were when I first got here. Look after yourself up there won’t you? Goodbye Cooper.” I brushed my fingers across the photo that stood out on his headstone before turning and walking back to the car, Blake was stood leaning against the door with a sad smile on his face, “all done?” he asked. I nodded and walked into his open arms where I held onto him tight as he clung to me too.
“I’m so proud of you, do you know that?” Blake whispered into my ear, “I love you so much Jo.”
“Thank you for understanding why I needed to do this. Now can we go home and get back into our bubble?” I asked as I looked up at him and smiled sadly.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Blake
We had only left the apartment twice since our visit to Cooper’s grave and, even though there is nothing that Jo and I like more than spending time alone in our bubble, we were both seriously beginning to suffer from cabin fever.
Theo had called and informed us that Sara was due to be sentenced in two weeks’ time which had got Jo into a frenzy because she was desperate to be there and see her go down for a long time.
I, however, didn’t want Jo anywhere near the court that day. She was exhausted all of the time now that the pregnancy was nearing the end and I didn’t want anything else for her to worry about which would make her ill; but Jo being as stubborn as she is was determined to be there.
I still had two weeks, however, to convince her to stay home and I was going to do my damned hardest to make sure that she did. On top of Sara’s trial and news of me quitting the show still hitting the headlines, the media were now also crawling all over a photo that had been snapped somehow of Jo stood at Cooper’s grave. I was seriously just one more mention of either of our names by a scumbag reporter away from breaking someone’s neck and ending up on trial myself. I could sense that Jo was becoming more and more stressed with each incident but she would always plaster on a smile and reassure me that everything was going to be okay. At some point in the past month or so it was me that had become the paranoid one in our relationship; it was me that always needed reassurance that everything was going to be okay, not Jo, but now I had three people to take care of, I needed to ensure the safety of my wife and unborn babies at all times so fear and paranoia were my forte now.
The first time that we had ventured out of the apartment should have been a happy occasion; we had driven to a baby boutique in SoHo to pick out our babies’ travel systems but thanks to the incompetence of a member of staff there, we were soon joined by flashing cameras and paparazzi; needless to say, we left the store and headed home empty handed. I spent the journey home silent while my mind tried desperately to figure out a way of putting an end to all of the crap that was being thrown at us, Jo had noticed my frustration and had placed her hand in mine and held on tight until we got home, smiling at me as we parked the car before simply telling me that everything was going to be okay.
The second time that we had dared to leave the apartment was to have lunch with Casey and Alex before they jetted off to Vegas for the grand opening of Alex’s new bar; ‘Red Desert’- as you can probably imagine, lunch was cut short too.
This afternoon however, I am confident that I will kill anyone, any single person who bothers me and my wife on what is set to be a very special day for us both. Today we get to see our babies for the first time since before we went to London and with only nine weeks left until they arrive, they are going to look amazing and almost fully-grown on the scan. My parents were coming along with us too after Jo had suggested that they would love to see the babies on screen, I would then be cooking dinner for us all this evening before they headed back home to the Hamptons in the morning.
We made it to the doctor’s office with no need for me to break anyone’s neck. I had called forward to Dr Greene’s office and asked for an alternative room where we could wait to be called for our appointment, away from anyone who could recognize us. I hated asking anyone for special treatment, I have never been the type of celebrity who thinks that the world owes me a favor just because I’m on TV, but sometimes it becomes necessary to play that card and today was certainly that day. Jo looked tired and worn out as she sat browsing through a parenting magazine that mom and dad had brought down for her. Her bump seemed to be growing bigger every day and it didn’t seem possible that there was any room left for them to grow anymore; however, even though Jo looked uncomfortable, it was obvious for anyone to see how much she loved being pregnant and also how much it meant to her that she had looked after the babies from the start, helping them to grow into tiny human beings.
Jo was called through by the nurse first who checked her weight and blood pressure, when she returned to the waiting room she had a worried expression on her face.
“The nurse said that my blood pressure is too high.” She began biting her lip nervously as she sat next to me on the couch.
“Well dear, you have been under immense stress recently, try not to worry just yet, let’s see what Sam says huh?” Mom gave her a reassuring smile.
“Yes, you’re right,” Jo exhaled. “I just hope that it’s nothing more serious than that, you read about these things don’t you?” She said as she turned to me for reassurance.
“Jo, you are pregnant with twins and being hounded at every angle each time we leave the apartment, I’m pretty sure that there is nothing more wrong with you than stress caused by the scumbag media.”
“The nurse said that Dr Greene will want to re-check it after the scan and take it from there,” Jo said nervously.
“Well Dr Greene knows what she is doing and what is best so let’s not worry until we see her, worrying won’t bring your blood pressure down it will just send it spiraling higher, now relax, please.” I pulled Jo to me and kissed her head as she rested against me.
“Dr Greene is ready to see you now Mrs. Mackenzie.” The receptionist smiled as she led Jo, my parents and me out of the room and down a short corridor to Dr Greene’s office. I desperately hoped that Jo’s blood pressure would settle once we got to see our babies on the screen.
“Jo, Blake, it’s great to see you both again, pleas
e take a seat.” Dr Greene welcomed us as we stepped into her office with a reassuring smile.
“Thank you Dr Greene,” Jo replied as we stepped past her.
“Please Jo; call me Sam. I think we are past all of the formalities by now don’t you?” She smiled.
“Okay,” Jo said “thank you Sam.” Jo and I took our seats as mom and dad followed into the room.
“Well, well, well, Julia Mackenzie, it’s been too long.” Dr Greene and my mother had worked together until mom had been forced to retire while Jasmine and I were young due to the pressure of dad’s fame. She rounded the desk and gave mom a hug. “It certainly has been way too long Samantha, we must do dinner sometime, catch up on the past what? Twenty five years?”
“Shhh,” Sam smiled, “that makes me feel so old.”
“Me too,” mom smiled. “Especially because I am here with my son and his wife, which by the way I want to thank you for; you have looked after Jo and my grandchildren so well,” mom said thankfully.
“Well it is my job but the pleasure has been all mine; I am enjoying watching these two beauties grow.” Sam replied before turning her attention to Jo, “How have you been keeping Jo?”
Jo smiled as she began removing her scarf, “I am beyond tired Sam, I want to sleep and I do sleep but I can’t seem to sleep enough and then when I am up and about and walking around I feel like I am carrying a small herd. I know I am carrying twins but they feel so heavy and they seem to be growing more and more every day. I am worried that there isn’t enough room for them inside of me to continue to grow,” Jo replied.
“I can imagine that you are tired Jo, as you know, being pregnant with twins towards the final stages of the last trimester is completely different to carrying just one baby, which might I add is hard enough.” She smiled gently at Jo before looking down at her notes, “So the nurse who took your blood pressure mentioned that it was a lot higher than we would like it to be.”