by Brittle, D M
“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, seriously it will be fine, I don’t want to impose on you both.”
“It is not imposing, it is doctors’ orders,” mom smiled. Jo turned to me and waited for me to decide but I could tell that she wanted to get out of New York for now and I could think of no place better to take her.
“Are you sure?” I asked turning to face my parents.
“Yes, we are sure,” dad said firmly. “And how can having my son and his wife come stay with us be a burden? I tell ya, it will make a nice change from listening to your mother talk about the snow every god damn minute of the day.” He winked at Jo as mom gasped and turned to him with an evil look in her eyes.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, of course you don’t talk about it every minute of the day, you sleep for at least seven hours.”
As everyone laughed yet again at my fathers’ dry humor, I couldn’t help but think that being around mom and dad would be the best medicine for Jo right now. Mom after all was a nurse for a long time before she was forced to retire, so having her with Jo twenty-four hours a day would be more than helpful, and as for dad, well his jokes would be enough to cheer up anyone.
“Thank you, both of you.” Jo said.
“Great,” Sam smiled as she placed her hands together. “Well, let’s have Jo finish her food and I have a nice cup of chamomile tea here for her too and then once you are done you are free to go and we will see you again next week.” Jo breathed a sigh of relief as she once again dug into her food happily. I felt myself begin to relax too as I hoped that the horrible visions could finally replaced with the happy thoughts of when I get to hold my two beautiful babies.
Jo
I had seen the fear in Blake’s eyes as he placed himself next to me whilst I devoured the Chinese food that Marti and Julia had kindly fetched for me. I had been in a funny kind of sleep and although my eyes were shut and I seemed to drift from one dream to another, I had heard the entire conversation that had taken place between Blake and Sam. Hearing Sam talk about pre-eclampsia had worried me somewhat, I had read enough baby magazines and watched enough pregnancy shows to know that the condition that she was referring to was nasty enough to prove fatal for me or the babies. When my body had finally allowed my eyes to open and I had seen Blake’s face, it was time to push my fear to one side and for once try and help Blake through the feelings that he was now experiencing. Blake was somehow trying to tell himself and Sam that if something were to happen to me and the babies it would be all his fault, he was practically begging Sam to tell him how he could fix me and when she didn’t give him an answer, I could hear in his voice that he was slowly crumbling inside from the fear that for the first time in his life there was something that he wasn’t able to fix.
Thankfully, my results had come back negative giving us just a scare, but the fact still remained that my blood pressure was extremely high and I needed to relax as much as possible to get it back to normal.
We arrived at Blake’s parents’ house late evening where I was ushered straight off to bed after having a long soak in a bubble bath. As soon as I saw the bright lights of New York leave us in the rearview mirror of the car, I was sure that I could feel my blood pressure evaporating alongside it.
Julia and Marti had gone out of their way when we had pulled up at the house; they quickly got our room sorted for us and I had been given even more food before Blake ran me a bath. I was beginning to feel relaxed immediately and already I didn’t want to return to New York next week.
The size of the babies was now beginning to compromise my sleep. I felt constantly tired from tossing and turning all night every night and if I did eventually manage to close my eyes, I would end up waking shortly afterwards in desperate need of the toilet; this routine had now been firmly in place since arriving back from London.
By six thirty in the morning, I had had enough; I shifted out of Blake’s hold, grabbed my robe and headed downstairs to fetch a drink.
Marti and Julia were sat at the kitchen table fully dressed and finishing breakfast as I entered the room.
“Jo dear, you are up early,” Julia said as she looked at her watch.
“Up early or up late depending on how much sleep I have had.” I placed a kiss to her cheek before opening the fridge and taking out the orange juice.
“Did you not sleep any better last night dear?” Julia asked concerned.
“Not really, when I go to sleep, the babies wake up which wakes me up. When I get to sleep again, I need the loo; it’s a vicious circle that I’m not managing to gain control over yet.” I smiled and took a long gulp of juice before refilling my glass.
“That cycle never ends Jo,” Marti piped up cheerfully. “If you think you’re not sleeping now, just you wait until they’re born.” Marti’s eyes widened in mock horror as he smiled at me.
“Marti!” Julia scorned but Marti just laughed before winking at me.
“Are you two going somewhere this early?” I asked, realizing that it wasn’t even light outside yet but they were both dressed looking ready to head out. Julia looked at Marti and shook her head slightly at him before turning to me.
“We need to get some groceries, that’s all; I am going to do us all a nice dinner tonight and we are expecting more snow over the next couple of days so we need to stock up on a few things.” Julia stood and took her plate to the dishwasher.
“If you can hang on a little while, I’ll come with you; I could do with the fresh air.”
“No,” Both Julia and Marti said in unison before looking at each other waiting for the other to speak. Julia smiled and walked over to me. “You are on complete bed rest, remember? If you want fresh air then get Blake to take you for a short walk somewhere nice later, somewhere quiet perhaps, not a supermarket full of screaming kids and trollies being shoved into your back - plus, it’s probably best you don’t get spotted out here, if you do then the media will only follow you.” She stroked my arm gently before taking her coat from the back of the chair.
“I don’t think there are going to be screaming kids this time of the morning, or the media.” I replied.
“Remember what Sam said Jo, bed rest.” Marti stood and began putting his jacket on too. “No supermarkets under doctor’s orders.” He gave me a sympathetic smile before placing his arm around Julia’s waist. “Ready to go sweetheart?”
“I’m ready,” Julia replied quietly.
“Okay, well have fun won’t you?” I replied as I watched them leave the kitchen and head into the hallway.
“We won’t be too long dear, now go and get some more rest,” Julia said as she turned to face me before heading out the door. Something felt off with how they had both reacted to me suggesting they waited for me and even though I knew that Sam had ordered complete bed rest, I couldn’t help feeling as though they were hiding something from Blake and me. My mind wandered back to the night of our wedding when Julia hadn’t felt well, I never had gotten around to asking her about that with everything that had happened as soon as we landed back in New York, but surely if something was wrong we would have known about it by now.
I finished my second glass of orange juice and took my over working brain back to bed where Blake was still fast asleep. I snuggled into his warm body and closed my eyes breathing in his scent and drifting finally into a peaceful sleep.
*~*~*
I woke to the smell of food which was always a sure fire way to wake me up these days, Blake was stood at the window looking out to the garden, fully dressed and chatting to who I presumed was Alex on his phone. He looked so beautiful and carefree as he laughed at whatever Alex was saying to him, I lay and watched him until his senses must have told him I was awake and his gaze swung to me.
“Anyway Alex, I’m gonna have to go, my wife has awoken and needs to be taken care of,” he teased. I shook my head in amusement at him as they said their goodbyes and he hung up the phone.
“Good afternoon,” he said as he picked up a tray of
food from the dresser and walked over to me placing the tray between us on the bed. Blake had prepared a mini picnic filling the tray with pastries, fruit, sandwiches and snacks along with both hot and cold beverages. “How are you feeling today?”
“I feel good,” I nodded. “So, are you going to take care of me like you just told Alex?” I raised an expectant eye brow at Blake who shook his head as he laughed.
“Yes, now eat,” he demanded as he nodded to the tray of food between us.
“Mmmmm,” I smiled as I began picking at a warm croissant, “how did the club launch go?”
“Alex said it went great, he’s really buzzing, we need to go there as soon as possible and show our support.”
“I would love that, not so sure that Vegas is a good place for babies however.” I pointed out.
“Isn’t that what grandparents are for?” Blake asked with a cheeky grin on his face, “after all, we haven’t had our honeymoon yet.” Blake leaned forward and placed his lips to mine briefly before pulling away and taking a bite from my croissant.
“You’re packing our babies off to grandma’s house before they’re even born? Naughty daddy,” I teased. “And anyway, I think it would be acceptable to ask grandparents to look after one baby but I think two may be a bit much.”
Blake shrugged casually, “maybe you’re right, maybe we could just test the water before asking them?” He suggested. “Oh and Alex and Casey sound like they’re back on track too which is good.”
“Oh good, I’ll call Casey later on, remind me - I could do with hearing her happy voice. Are your Mom and Dad are back from shopping?”
“Is that where they went? I wondered where they were.” Blake replied.
“What time is it?” I knew that it must have been past noon when Blake greeted me with good afternoon.
“It’s just past one thirty, why?”
“Because they went shopping at six thirty this morning Blake.” I placed my croissant down on the tray and wiped my mouth with one of the napkins that were next to the food.
“Why would they go shopping at that time on a morning?” Blake asked confused, “and how do you know if you have only just woken?”
“I didn’t sleep again last night,” I began.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Blake asked as he placed his hand to my thigh.
“There is no point in us both suffering Blake and besides, a tornado wouldn’t wake you from sleep,” I teased. “Anyway, I got up for a drink and they were finishing breakfast and heading out the door. I didn’t think that I would get back to sleep again so I asked them to wait for me and I would go with them. They both seemed edgy, as if there was something not right, they made an excuse and couldn’t get out of the house quick enough.”
“Is that your paranoia I can see re-surfacing?” Blake joked.
“Blake, this time I am deadly serious.” Blake’s face changed as he saw my concern.
“There is something I need to tell you about.”
“What is it?”
I took a deep breath before I began, “the night of our wedding, when you told me to meet you in the treehouse?” Blake nodded. “I went to the house to freshen up and when I went upstairs I could hear voices coming from the room your mum and dad were staying in. I didn’t mean to listen in, Blake, but it was obvious that something was going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“The voices were Jasmine and your mum. Jasmine was almost telling her off, saying that she had done too much as it wasn’t good for her and she should have been resting instead of running around like crazy.”
“So maybe mom just didn’t feel well.” Blake suggested.
“There is more to it than that. I heard Jasmine tell her that we had the right to know.”
“The right to know what?”
“I don’t know, Jasmine opened the door and saw me standing there so I asked what was going on and they both played it down. But one thing I remember was the way your mum was talking, she was saying how important the wedding was to her and that if we ever needed to know then she would tell us.” I could see Blake’s mind working overtime as he processed what I had just told him. “I am so sorry Blake, I should have told you but, well to be honest, I don’t know what I would have been telling you. I confronted Jasmine a while later on the stairs and it felt as though she wanted to tell me something but couldn’t. I should have told you but everything that happened from that night onwards, well it kind of slipped my mind,” I said carefully. “And now I am thinking that there is more to it than what I heard. I think your mum is ill Blake and I think that today she had an appointment somewhere and wanted to slip out without us knowing about it, only thanks to these two terrors,” I said as I cradled my bump, “I caught them about to leave. I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you.” Blake didn’t speak for a few moments as I could see him thinking hard, trying to place the pieces into the puzzle.
“I think you are right,” he finally said.
“You do?”
Blake nodded but his eyes never made contact with mine as he continued to think hard. “The day that everyone arrived in London, mom was acting weird, telling me that I should cherish every single moment with you and our children because life has a habit of biting you on the backside when you are least expecting it. I thought she was just being sentimental but looking back now, she seemed tired and was more emotional than usual. I need to call Jasmine.” Blake shot off the bed taking his phone from his pocket.
“She won’t tell you Blake, if your mum has sworn her to secrecy about this, then she isn’t going to break her trust, you wouldn’t would you? Wait until your mum and dad come home and if we suspect anything untoward after speaking with them, then yes, call Jasmine, we have a right to know if something is going on.”
Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing downstairs, Blake immediately headed for the door but I got to him just in time and managed to keep him from storming downstairs.
“Don’t,” I said firmly. “We go down there as though we haven’t noticed how long they have been gone and see what they say. Then what you do or say after that is up to you.” Blake sighed and wrapped his arms around me.
“What would I do without you huh? You don’t need this stress, you are supposed to be on bed rest and here you are trying to fix things when I am the fixer in our marriage.” Blake placed his lips to my head and held them there as he calmed his erratic breathing.
“Your mum is also my mum now Blake, if there is something wrong then we will help her together and we stay strong together too, promise me.” I lifted my head and looked into Blake’s blue eyes.
“I promise,” he replied before releasing me and taking my hand, leading me out of the bedroom and into the unknown that awaited us downstairs.
Julia and Marti were packing away shopping as we entered the kitchen. They were both quiet whilst keeping their focus on the groceries. I caught a glimpse of Julia’s face as she packed away some food in the refrigerator; she looked pale.
“You two have been gone for hours; Jo said you left really early this morning,” Blake said casually as he stood alongside his mum and began helping with the shopping. Julia remained silent as Marti suddenly spoke up.
“Damn car doesn’t seem to like the cold weather son, we, err…, well, the car broke down on the way into town and we had to wait a couple of hours before it started up again.”
“Why didn’t you call us? We could have come and helped,” Blake said.
“You know your mother and I are no good with cell phones son, we left without them, stupid I know, but we got it sorted in the end.” His eyes scanned to Julia quickly and then back to Blake who was watching them both intently.
“Do you always do your shopping before the sun comes up?” Blake asked. I could sense his annoyance.
“We do,” Julia suddenly added. “We get it done before the crowds get there, everything’s fresh and then we get the rest of the day to do what we like.
”
“Are you okay mom?” Blake asked; his eyes met with mine briefly, just enough time for me to shake my head warning him not to push it.
“Of course I am dear, why would you ask that?” I could sense the nervousness in Julia’s tone, Marti noticed too as I saw him watching them both carefully.
“You seem tired lately that’s all, and you’re pale, I worry about you, we all do.”
Julia paused for a moment and smiled fondly at Blake before placing the palm of her hand to his face lovingly.
“So,” Marti said suddenly breaking the ever-thickening atmosphere that was surrounding the four of us. “Tonight, I am giving your mother the night off from the kitchen. I am cooking for us all. Jasmine, Robert and Fraser will be joining us for dinner too which will be nice, don’t you think?”
Julia stepped away from Blake and turned to the counter.
“That will be lovely,” Blake said quietly. “Let me know if I can help you, both of you. - in any way…- and I mean that.” Blake stepped over and kissed the back of his mums head before turning to his dad and forcing a visibly painful smile.
“Thanks son.” Marti nodded knowingly as he understood what Blake had actually meant.
“I’m gonna….. Shall we go for a walk Jo?” Blake said turning to me. “I think we could both do with some fresh air, we’ve spent too long cooped up since coming back from London.
“Sure,” I replied simply before heading out of the kitchen and upstairs to change out of my nightclothes feeling fear creeping up inside me of what tonight was going to bring. Fear for Julia, for Blake and for whatever it was that was being hidden from us.
*~*~*
It had been a long and torturous day; Blake and I had taken a short stroll around the park near to his parents’ house. Getting out of the house had felt like a relief, since telling Blake about my suspicion about his mum and from the moment that his parents arrived home, it was obvious that there was something major that we didn’t know about but would hopefully be finding out tonight along with the rest of the family. The atmosphere had been so thick that you could have chopped it into tiny pieces with a kitchen knife and it would have still continued to hover above us all. Julia had barely made eye contact with neither Blake nor myself, which only made it more obvious that they were keeping something important from us both. It was obvious to see that Marti was also putting on a brave face, it was in his nature to be bright and cheery but today you could sense something else in his demeanor, he was masking some sort of hurt. Blake had remained quiet for the majority of the walk but his hand had gripped mine so tight that I could sense his insecurity.