by Holly Hood
He hated to love her but there was nothing he could do about it. And the moments he let go and he loved her it was incredible but it also scared the life out of him. He always waited for her to disappoint him. For something to happen, maybe she would figure out what kind of person he really was and just leaves. Maybe someone else would come along and shows her there are better men out there. He didn’t know what it would take but he was sure it would happen. So he ran. He pushed her away out of fear. And she didn’t want to go. She tried to hold onto him but he pushed her. And now she was gone.
And now after he realized that he did the stupidest thing in his life pushing her away he was left with nothing. She was his drive, she was the thing that he wanted to get better for, because she made him feel like a better person.
He dropped his pen and leaned back against his pillows. He sighed.
Dr. Jon tapped on the door. “Hart.”
“Dr. Jon?”
“I believe holing up in your room is counterproductive.”
“It’s in the paperwork.” He pointed out again.
“Not this time.” Dr. Jon stood waiting for him to do the same. He wasn’t going to leave until he got him out of his room. “This time I am going to force you to do the right thing.”
He stood up, and shoved his shoes on his feet and followed behind Dr. Jon.
“I don’t see the point in visitors,” he told him. “It’s a waste.”
Dr. Jon grinned. “To some. But some of us like seeing a familiar face every now and again.”
He moved around the chairs finding his usual spot and took a seat. He took the journal out of his back pocket and used another chair for a foot rest. And he was ready to write.
“I still don’t know what the hell you write in there,” she said.
He looked up.
“Do you think maybe one day you will tell me?” Elle asked. A big smile on her face. “Is it poetry?”
He blinked and shook his head. “I thought you were dead.”
“I know.” She raked a hand through her hair. “I would have been if I took your advice and got on that plane.”
She smiled at him and he just sat and took her in, her smile, her penetrating eyes, and her mouth that he always wanted to kiss.
“How many times are you going to mess up, Hart?” she asked crossing her arms. “Jesse told me to be an asshole. He said it’s the only way to get through to you.”
He grinned. “I can’t believe I am looking at you right now.”
“Well, if you would have called you might have found out I never got on the plane.” She accepted his hand. “There is something I have to tell you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Be easy on me I’m in rehab.”
“I don’t know how easy this will be.”
He raised a hand stopping her. “There is something I have to tell you first.”
“Okay, go for it.” She sat back. “I’m all ears.”
“I want to be with you. I want to give this a try. There’s nothing I could want more than you. And I need you to believe me this time.” He squeezed her hand, stroking her knuckles.
“That’s really good to hear.” She touched his face. “Because I’m having your baby.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re having my baby?” He ran a hand through his hair his eyes wide. “You’re pregnant?”
She laughed. “I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby. We’re having a baby.”
“That’s not something I expected to hear but hey I’ll take it.” He got up and rounded the table. He dropped down wrapping his arms around her. “This is a good thing. A really good thing.”
She held onto him. “I was hoping you would feel that way. I was kind of afraid to tell you. Actually I wasn’t going to tell you at all. I was just going to move to California. But something told me to tell you. I just believed somewhere deep down that you cared about me the same way I care about you.”
“There is nothing you could ever say or do to make me feel differently about you.” He stroked her hair. “This just makes me love you more.”
He kissed her. “Jesse is going to lose it when he hears this. He’s always wanted a playmate for Bella.”
“Does that mean you’re accepting visitors?” She playfully shoved him.
“If I have to be here for ninety days without you absolutely,” he said. “Maybe I’ll read to you from my journal.”
“Oh really?”
“No, but whatever keeps you coming back,” he said with a grin.
“You’re all the reason I need,” she said with a smile.
Chapter 57
“I think you guys are burning the hotdogs,” Elle said to Jesse and Hart. They were having a cookout, enjoying the summer, enjoying each other’s company. Doing things normal couples did together.
“Hart said you like them burnt. Said it was one of your weird pregnancy side effects,” Jesse insisted poking at the hotdogs on the grill.
“Did he also tell you that he rubs my feet every night?” she asked, coming to stand next to Hart. “And he once even painted my toenails. He is the most awesome soon to be daddy I have ever met.”
“That’s good, I’m glad to hear it. I’m only sorry there won’t be another girl for Isabella to play with.” Jesse scratched at his head. “I hear boys are a lot tougher.”
Hart shrugged. “He’s just jealous because we don’t have to buy pink dresses and dolls like he does.”
Jesse punched him in the arm. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I know you feel the same way about little Jesse.” They all started to laugh at the idea of naming their child after Hart’s best friend.
“We have a few ideas, but we won’t decide until we see him,” she said.
Angie joined them carrying Isabella who was perfectly clad in a tutu and sparkly tiara. “I love the name Hart. I think he should be named after his daddy.”
Hart looked at Elle. “I told Elle she can name him whatever she wants.”
“And I told Hart he could name him whatever he wants,” she said back, her eyes bright and shiny as she stared at the best thing that ever ruined her life.
She touched her belly, knowing wherever life took her she had two of the most important men by her side. And together they could handle anything that came their way.
They had been through a lot, and in all the chaos and hard times one thing was true—they wouldn’t have found each other if not for the bad.
So for that she was grateful.
The End
Books also by Holly Hood
Wingless: Misery’s Company
Perfectly Hopeless
Ink
Perfectly Hopeless
By Holly Hood
What readers are saying about Holly Hood
Five stars! “She knows how to bring the characters to life and into your heart. You feel for the characters almost from page one.”
Five stars! “This book was beautiful and some people might think it wasn't a happy story I think it was. There was love and sadness and hope but it was the best book I have read in a while.”
Four stars! “As an avid reader, I have become used to the highs and lows of emotion in my books. With that said it is very difficult to spark an emotion dark enough to make me cry, but Perfectly Hopeless reaches deep enough to touch that nerve”
Books by Holly Hood
Wingless Series
Wingless
Polar
Scattered and Broken
Prison of Paradise
Letters to you
Back to life
Ink Series
Ink
Love Hurts Series
The killing of Rose Volume 1
Other books
Perfectly Hopeless
Heart of Gypsies (coming soon)
Boonville Series (coming soon)
Road to Ruins (coming soon)
For more information about the author or upcoming books visit http://hollyhoodblog.blogspot.com/
Twi
tter @WinglessReapers
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, places or things living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Perfectly Hopeless
Printing History
2012
All rights reserved © Copyright 2012 by Holly Hood
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form,
Without the prior
Written permission of the author
© Coka - Fotolia.com (Cover art)
To
My imagination, may we stay the best of friends for a lifetime.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to everyone in my life that makes writing so much fun. The readers, my family, my friends, I appreciate all of you. It’s always nice to share my imagination with willing readers. Some books come easily, some are more difficult. Some make me cry. Others make me laugh. A few drag me into dark places, regardless of what story it is I am proud of them all. From the wobbly first, to the recent ones, they all helped mold me as a writer. The Wingless series was my first steps into my journey, and as I release Perfectly Hopeless into the world I feel accomplished—and a little bittersweet. I feel like Henri and Maven took a special place in my heart and I hope they do the same for the readers.
Perfectly Hopeless
By Holly Hood
Summer time
This was her summer. She swore it. The summer life would go from devastating to incredible. Maven stared out of the window as her parents gossiped in the front seat about Claudia, their excessively confident neighbor with more money than the entire town.
She closed her eyes dropping her head back against the leather seat, her golden blonde hair cascading around her shoulders. Maven was a young woman full of hope. She never went to bed without reflecting on all she wished would happen for her.
Portwood was the setting of their summer home. Every home was nestled between giant willow trees. A small town right outside the lake. Maven’s family went every year during the summer. It was a place full of memories for all of them. A place you sat back and smiled about when you thought about all the times you had there. Portwood was magical.
“I wonder if Jake is going to be there,” Nick, her older brother said mockingly. Doing his best to tease Maven from her spot in the family car, Nick knew Maven was hoping for the opposite. After their messy breakup he was the last person she wanted to lay eyes on. Jake was a jerk. And the entire family knew it.
“I don’t know and I don’t care.” After the tears she cried over a guy like Jake it was the truth. And suddenly the family’s annual vacation was sounding less exciting and more torturous to her. She shrank down in her seat as the Portwood welcome sign whizzed by the window.
Mom shot her a sympathetic smile.
“Everyone who is anyone is at Portwood for Summer vaca,” Maggie her younger sister said, tearing off her sunglasses to gain better view of all the younger guys as they carried beach towels and coolers on their way to the lake.
“I don’t think the Maves considers Jake Summit anyone anymore,” Nick smirked. He leaned forward, clamping down on Maven’s shoulder. “If he gives you any trouble you just let me know. I’ll rough him up for you.”
Their mother shot a concerned look in both of their directions. She knew just how Nick’s temper could get sometimes. This wasn’t a joke in her eyes. “Nicky you remember what we said.”
Nick sighed, letting out the loudest grumble he could muster. “I know, I know. No more money for college if I lay a finger on Summit. I thought that was what family was for though, Mom.” He ran a hand through his shaggy brown mop of hair giving Maven a secret smirk.
Maven unfastened her seat belt, staring up at the family summer home. A modern two story brick home with white shutters and a huge wraparound porch, lush green grass with the perfect amount of shade and sun.
She wasn’t about to let Jake Summit ruin her summer.
The brown eyed boy
Maven sat down on her bed. Looking around her room at all her favorite belongings, such as the rose-colored mirror, the antique vanity and the queen sized canopy bed her mother had when she was younger, all that she loved coming back to every year.
She stood. Going to her window, just across the way were several families she was all too familiar with. They to migrated to Portwood for the summer. And they also had kids that attended school with Maven.
Nick tapped on Maven’s door. He wondered what his sister was in deep contemplation over. “You could have stayed at home and hid in your bedroom.” He stepped inside his sister’s excessively feminine bedroom, looking at all the photographs and art on her walls. He breathed in the floral fragrance. “I am going down for frozen yogurt. And seeing you’re a diehard fan I thought you would want to come.”
Maven nodded. She knew if she refused their parents would start with all their psycho babble. They were both doctors and they never stopped analyzing everything their kids did. It was best to keep that to a minimum.
“Let me grab my jacket,” she said, cracking open her walk in closet for the first time in months. She smiled at the sight of so many clothes. She was that girl—one who loved to wear nice things. She plucked a jean jacket from the hanger and hurried down the stairs after Nick.
Maggie had already beaten her to the door. She carefully applied clear lip gloss waiting on Maven and Nick so they could all head out for frozen yogurt.
When Maven was with Jake it was the same every year. Their parents vacationed together, ate together, played tennis together. Everything they did was together and that wasn’t exciting. Even their fathers worked together.
The Wilder’s and the Summit’s grew up together. Maven could remember the stories her mother forever was recounting about the times she had with Jake’s mother on the high school cheerleading squad. It was almost like an arranged marriage.
All that changed rapidly when Tatiana Fleming rolled into town. Tatiana and Maven were nothing alike. She was raven haired while Maven’s was fair. Her parents were laid-back while Maven’s were more formal. Maybe not strict, but they expected their children to act like upstanding citizens. That meant manners and no foul language. And of course young women were supposed to act like woman. And men were supposed to have respect for them.
Because of these rules many kids that grew up with Maven and her siblings coined them the goody goodies. It got Nick in much trouble. He was always trying to prove to everyone around him that he wasn’t perfect or uptight. Maggie the youngest of them became the rebel, and Maven simply ignored what everyone thought about her and tried to be herself despite all the immature teens. She didn’t feel she needed to prove herself to anybody.
“What flavor you getting?” Nick asked, nudging Maven from her train of thought. She concentrated on the white menu with the little magnetic black letters. Noticing the L in vanilla was crooked. The line moved, bringing her back to reality and to her brother’s question.
“Orange.” She nibbled at a nail, staring at the back of the woman’s head in front of her as she ordered. She was almost certain the woman was from their neighborhood back at home, which meant most of her hometown was there too.
“Stop biting your fingernails,” Maggie said, she swatted Maven’s hand. “That is so unhygienic.”
Maven shot her a scowl, dropping her hand to her side. Just in time it appeared. She could feel their eyes on the back of her like daggers. Nick shot his sister a quick look before resting his elbows on the counter. He leaned down to place his order.
“Just breathe. He probably won’t say anything if you don’t.” Nick offered.
Maven knew the odds of that happening were slim. Jake was a prick. If he knew he had an opportunity to showcase his new girlfriend he would. She drew in a deep breath letting it escape as she waited for the red haired girl to return to the window to take their order.
Time slowed. Maven’s throat constricted at the thought of Jake and her comin
g face-to-face. She wasn’t sure if she could handle it. He had embarrassed her in front of their entire school senior year.
Tatiana and Jake had been messing around behind her back for months. And sadly she was the only one who didn’t know. Even her brother figured it out and he was in college. And instead of letting it go Jake insisted on rubbing it in her face whenever he could do so.
Maven snatched half the napkins from the dispenser in angst. Suddenly she wasn’t so cool and her jacket was doing nothing but making her perspire.
The red headed girl gave a toothy smile and pulled the window open. The combination of warm air and candied nuts wafted past Maven’s nose. “What can I get ya’ll?”
Nick gave the sheepish smile he was so famous for, dragging his fingers through his messy hair before opening his mouth to speak.
“I’ll take the usual. Medium orange cone,” Maven said in a hurry to get to the next window.
As if her voice sent off bells of warning Jake took notice. He slid his hand around Tatiana’s curvy waist. Gravity pulled Maven’s eyes in their direction. As hard as she fought against it she had no choice but to look.
“Maven. I didn’t think you guys were already here,” Jake said, looking her over with his usual holier-than-thou expression.
Nick took hold of her elbow guiding her to the next window. Jake grinned at Nick before casting his attention to the red head waiting for his order. Tatiana chewed her gum giving Maven a cold smile. It was beyond Maven if she hated her or liked her. Chances are it was hate.