by Holly Hood
“I think a mother’s role is very important in a young man’s life. And Johnny and Mason never had very good ones. Which is why they are on the wrong paths, it’s my dying wish to see them do well for themselves,” she said.
“I think a mother could be good for a girl too, if you don’t mind me saying so.” I stared at my feet.
“There’s nothing wrong with saying so, sweetie,” she said trying to read my somber expression.
“I never had one since I could remember. And I know I probably would have turned out a lot different if I did. Maybe life wouldn’t feel so bad. Do you think that’s possible?” I asked, letting out a sigh, on the verge of tears. For some reason talking to her made me feel vulnerable.
“Who was there for you, sweetie?”
“My Aunt Wanda and she’s not a good person,” I said catching sight of the sun as it started to come up.
“I’ve heard my share about her as well. The only words of advice I can give you are these, live your life to its fullest. And make sure you find some kind of happiness in it or it will all be for nothing,” she stood up. “I’ve been on this earth for sixty two years and I am happy where life has led me. I’m sick and I’m not going to be around much longer, but I’m happy and that’s what counts the most.”
I smiled at her. She walked away, squeezing my shoulder in passing. I thought about her words. She had seen a lot in sixty-two years, but probably nothing like what I had seen. And that was morbid.
“Gran, what are you doing outside? You’re going to catch a cold or something,” Jay said taking her by the arm. He shot me a glance taking her back inside.
I waited around hoping he would come back out and pay me a visit. Maybe send some life back into me. Maybe make me smile for a moment.
The door shut quietly and he appeared in front of me. His smile returned as he got closer.
“I like your gran,” I told him.
“Yeah. Most people do. She’s really sick and we brought her home..to…well, you know,” he said unable to say the word.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?” I asked, trying to read his smile.
“I’m scared to death of what it’s going to feel like when she’s not around anymore quite honestly. I don’t usually say that to anyone, so you’re lucky,” he said, crossing his arms.
“She said she’s had a happy life. And I think that is amazing to be able to say that. I know if I died tomorrow I couldn’t say that.” I looked away.
“Yeah, well me either. And I’m sure Mason couldn’t either. He barely said anything to me tonight. I really don’t know what his deal is,” he sighed.
“I told you I know him better than you,” I said with a grin.
“Oh I know what upset him. I just don’t understand why,” he said looking at me, our eyes locked and I couldn’t look away.
“Well then, why don’t you tell me what you think upset him?” I said.
“I told him I wanted to learn more about you. And how gorgeous I think you are. I just don’t get why that didn’t fly with him.” He blinked, waiting for me to say something.
My cheeks warmed, and my heart crashed in my chest. A million and one butterflies raced through my stomach. And then I broke our staring contest realizing who I was in the world.
“You don’t want to learn more about me believe me. But thanks for saying you think I’m gorgeous,” I said shyly.
He took my chin, closing the distance between us and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. His lips lingered for a quick moment. His warm breath warmed my cheek. I touched his face, stuck in the moment, staring deep into his eyes, trying to figure out what a guy like him wanted with me. We locked lips; his kiss was slow and soft. My heart melted. He wasn’t trying hard to impress me; he was just there with me enjoying the moment.
I pulled away. “I should get to bed.”
He stared down at me, his hand finding the back of my neck. He laid one more kiss on my cheek and let me go.
“Goodnight, Kendall,” he said, watching me stumble for the stairs.
I hurried up the giant staircase that wound all the way to the top in a glorious fashion. I was in a hurry to get to my room to stop my heart from beating out of my chest.
I screamed as I came in the door. “Mason! Don’t do that to me.”
I shut the door quickly before anyone came asking me if I was okay. Mason stayed sprawled out on my bed, his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling as if I wasn’t there at all. But at the same time I knew he wanted to look at me.
“All this time I thought you wouldn’t buckle,” he said his voice low, almost angry sounding.
I balled my fist knowing where he was going with his comment. “Don’t you dare say it!” I moved forward giving him a hard whack in the chest I was so angry with him.
He sat up in a flash. “He’s a bad guy. He’s the one I got in trouble with all the years you’ve known me. But one look was all it took for you to see past that. He’s scum like all the rest,” he said, looking me over in disgust.
I stood still, my hands balled in tight fist. There wasn’t a lot I could say to defend myself. He was right.
“I just want to go to bed, Mason,” I said instead. He stood up, letting me lay down. I turned away from him on my side and curled up into a ball on top of the beautiful blue comforter.
“You don’t want to face the facts. That’s your problem, Kendall. He is scum and you know it. But you’re never going to admit it,” he said, pressing the issue that I so badly wanted to be over.
I closed my eyes hoping he would just go away. I knew I was wrong, but the more I denied it the less I had to think about who Jay really was.
“Another fun fact for you…we are all over the news,” he said dryly.
“What?” I said, sitting up in bed. My breath escaped me, I clutched my stomach. Fear took over; it was as if someone had socked me in the gut.
“Yep. But you were too busy outside making out with Jay to realize your life just got a billion time worse. I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t matter if your being an idiot,” he said raising an eyebrow. “We are screwed anyways.”
I yanked my sandal off and threw it as hard as I could at Mason’s head—missing of course. He ducked just in time. He shook his head and slammed the door shut, shaking the pictures on the wall beside it.
I didn’t lie back down. I pulled my knees to my chest and held on for dear life. Tears slid down my face and saturated my jeans as I cried.
I sobbed softly taking careful breaths trying to control the panic overtaking my body.
I jumped from the bed and grabbed the phone that sat on the end table.
“Yes, I believe its Alberta. A-l-b-e-r-t-a. The Matheson hotel, could you look up a Laurel Edgerton,” I asked the lady on the other end of the phone. I knew many of Aunt Wanda’s aliases and when she found each one suitable to use.
The phone was silent. I stared at the windows trying to digest that the worst had finally happened. And now I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel like. You never imagine your worst nightmare actually coming true. This was new to me. And all I could think of was finding Aunt Wanda.
“Hello Miss?” The operator said. “Mrs. Laurel checked out just an hour ago. I’m very sorry. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
I couldn’t speak. I hung up the phone.
“I’m dead. I’m totally dead,” I said softly at first and then louder each time the words came out. I paced the room.
July 12th
I was afraid.
There was no other way to put it.
My life had been blotted out by sheer terror and for almost two days I remembered nothing until Mason pulled me from bed forcing me to eat with everyone.
“Just take your hands off of me and let me walk myself down the stairs,” I grumbled. I thrashed around like someone who was losing their mind. And I didn’t care. There was no reason to care about anything anymore.
I swore I saw red dots fixed on us at all t
imes. I was sure there was a sniper waiting to take us out without us even knowing. My brain was going to make a beautiful bloody painting on the ground soon as I lay dying.
“And none of this was ever my doing. What did I even get out of it? I was a prisoner my whole life practically. But none of that matters now,” I rambled right down the stairs.
Mason yanked me by the shirt and pushed against the wall. He covered my mouth with his hand. “Shut your mouth. Going nuts does not solve anything,” he eyed me, warning me to cool it before he had to make me shut up.
“Why would anybody here care?” I asked, pulling away. “We are in a house of criminals. We don’t know a single decent person remember?” I scoffed, pushing Mason out of the way. He jumped back in front of me before I could take off.
“I don’t know about you, but I will make it out of this bullshit. One way or another. I refuse to go down for my mother,” he said, fire in his eyes that I had never seen before.
“Well, I hate to shatter you dreams but that is not how it works. Can you do me a favor and keep me away from the states with the firing squads?” I asked dryly.
Mason looked like he wanted to punch me in the face. He stormed down the steps. Who was he kidding; we were going to be the next big thing on every news channel. The two kids dragged into a world of crime and murder, blood on their hands, no remorse for their actions. I could see it all.
I rounded the corner coming to a stop in the kitchen. Jay stopped what he was doing with the dishwasher when he saw me come in. His face lit up with excitement at the sight of me, and that made me feel—special—something I hadn’t felt probably ever.
I knew when a guy liked a girl he saw her in a different light than anyone else. He became enamored by her. And Jay’s expression reminded me of that. I just didn’t get why.
“Did you get any sleep?” he asked, leaning against the counter beside me. Things grew a little awkward as I tried to hide our conversation. I didn’t want to give Mason any more reason to lash out at me. It didn’t matter if I was upset with him; he was the only person I had left.
“Maybe an hour,” I said, I looked through the kitchen to the dining room. There Mason sat playing with the dozens of utensils laid out in front of him. His eyebrows raised as he lifted and moved each fork trying to figure out why he needed six of them.
Jay waited patiently, eager to continue our conversation even if everyone else was gathered for lunch. “Kissing you was amazing. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to do it again.”
I couldn’t fight the smile. “I liked it too.”
He shielded himself with a large platter to keep his expression hidden from the dining room and winked at me flirtatiously.
I felt like a little girl. Giddy and filled with excitement. I wanted to run from the room and hide the fact I was blushing. He made me feel like such a girl.
Jay jerked his head towards the dining room. “Let’s eat.”
Mason tugged the chair beside him away from the table as soon as I came into the room. As if I was obligated to sit next to him.
I sat down shooting him an annoyed glance.
Jay’s Gran entered the room assisted by an older man in a very nice suit. He smiled at all of us his white teeth catching the light of the giant chandelier overhead. His tan skin made his teeth that much whiter.
He was fancy all the way down to his fancy leather shoes. He waited patiently for Gran to sit, patting her arm, a large ring sparkling on his hand. I wasn’t sure what kind of ring it was but it looked very expensive.
“Well what do we have here?” he said as he settled into his seat. He was referring to Mason and I. Me more than Mason I was sure.
I shot a look at Jay hoping he would introduce me and make things a little less awkward. He lifted his crystal wineglass and took a long sip leaving me to fend for myself.
I sighed, trying to pull it together long enough to offer a reply. I didn’t get why I had to be the one making conversation when Mason had met the man before.
“I’m Kendall, a friend of Mason’s,” I explained. He reached across the table taking my hand. His eyes stayed focused on me for a few seconds before he kissed the top of my hand gently. He unbuttoned a couple buttons on his fancy jacket to get more comfortable and took a seat.
“It’s a pleasure, Kendall. What brings you here?” he asked.
I pursed my lips. I always hated trying to explain why I was anywhere in the world. Even if things were a bit safer, it wasn’t anything I liked talking about.
“Mason and Kendall were just passing through, Gramps,” Jay said, answering for me. He winked at me and saluted me with his glass taking another drink.
I relaxed and sat back in my cheer more at ease.
“Kendall this is my lovely ex-husband, Benny,” Gran spoke up.
I wondered how they were able to be in the same room if they were exes. In my family an ex meant restraining orders and violent fights.
“Mason, is this the beautiful girlfriend your always bragging about?” Benny asked, a big smirk flooding his face.
I looked at Mason wondering what the hell he ran around saying about me when I wasn’t there.
“No. Kendall and I just so happened to be forced together a lot in our lives, since birth practically. She’s definitely not the one I was talking about,” he said, pressing his thumb into the sharp end of his fork. I wished it would pierce his flesh after his rude comment. It was like he was trying to irritate me.
“If you could only be so lucky, Mason,” Jay said, taking a jab at Mason. He leaned back in his chair a smug smile on his face.
“That’s funny because I have been many times,” Mason shot back.
A woman—the help bustled in the room taking my attention away from Mason and Jay. She placed a tray in front of Jay’s gran. Several more trays followed out behind her, these people had a lot of help I thought to myself.
I stared at the plate before me. Asparagus and some type of meat I was not familiar with sat elegantly on the plate garnished with green herbs and a yellow sauce. It wasn’t anything I had ever eaten. I hoped it wasn’t squid.
I smiled at Gran, noticing she was watching me from her place at the table.
It didn’t seem to bother Jay’s grandparents that Mason and Jay were passive aggressively attacking each other at the table. With smiles on their faces they began eating.
“Mason, you’re not being polite,” I said under my breath at him.
“Fuck polite,” he muttered, sawing into his food. His elbow jerked back and forth. He was acting like such an idiot, and I was ready to lose it. I balled my napkin in frustration trying to keep from hauling off and punching Mason.
Jay sat up bringing his elbows down on the table. He watched Mason as he messed with his food, hardly eating anything just moving it around on his plate in agitation.
“Are you sure you want to play this game, Mason?” Jay asked. “I know all about you.”
“Yeah, I know,” Mason said giving a shrug of his shoulders.
I shoved the asparagus in my mouth biting off the tip and chewed angrily. I was trying to ignore what was happening, but they were making it very hard.
“Kendall isn’t into guys like you. In fact she despises guys like you.” Mason dropped his fork and pushed his plate away. “I’ve known her my entire life.”
Jay bit down on his lip. “She likes you right?”
“She has daddy issues, mommy issues and Aunt Wanda issues. The girl’s a train wreck, she doesn’t know what she likes,” Mason said.
I gasped, blown away by what Mason said about me. My heart kicked into gear, beating like mad in my chest. I looked at Benny and Gran one last time hoping they would stop the two of them from battling it out. Minutes later it was clear they weren’t going to do anything and my anger had bubbled over. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I slapped Mason right across the face, startling him.
Mason threw a hand back angrily knocking me and the chair I was sitting in backward.
I skidded to a stop on the wooden floor, shocked that I was now looking at the ceiling.
Jay was at my side helping me up. I pushed past him going after Mason. Mason picked up his water and tossed it in my direction.
I gasped at the cold water hitting me in the face. It crawled down the front of me saturating my t-shirt. He didn’t stop there, next he lifted a fork whipping it past my head, it skidded into the kitchen and spun wildly across the tile.
Jay stared at Mason in disbelief, probably shocked things had gone this far. I was sure he was only toying with Mason. But he didn’t know what he was going through and he pushed him too far.
“Now boys, let Gran out of here before we spin this into something we can’t go back on,” Benny said sternly helping Gran out of the room.
“I’m sorry,” I told Gran as she passed by us. She touched my arm and shook her head at me letting me know she wasn’t upset. I didn’t know how she saw this as okay, but she wasn’t mad.
I turned my attention back to Mason once Benny and Gran left the room. “What the hell did I ever do to you, Mason?” I asked, pulling at my hair in frustration. I was angry and hurt. I pushed him into the wall demanding an answer. I shoved him and tried to get him to look at me, trying to get him to say something.
“If you want him go for it. Take him upstairs and show him what Kendall can do and how well Aunt Wanda taught you,” he said, pushing me away from him.
I smacked him in the face, my hand burned with pain.
“Don’t you ever talk to me like that again,” I warned him grabbing him by the collar.
Mason eyes were dark, nothing I had ever seen before. He was distant and cold. “Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my face.” He grabbed me by the throat and shoved me into the table, bending me over it, his body weighing me down and keeping me from getting away. I had never seen Mason so angry before.
I screamed and kicked my feet afraid of what he might do to me. He held me down not letting me loose. Jay ripped Mason off of me.
“Whoa, easy now, I can’t let you do something stupid to her, Mason.” Jay said, nose to nose with him.