“Your son is cute,” the blond woman said quietly.
“I’m sorry?”
“I said your son. He’s cute.”
Lara was taken aback. She’d never heard Erich referred to as her son before.
“Oh. Thank you,” she said, cradling his head. He’d fallen back to sleep.
The woman leaned to get a better look at Erich, and when she did, her shawl fell back from her face. A deep purple bruise surrounded her right eye. It was swollen, her eyelid so puffy that it was nearly forced shut completely. The discoloration traveled to her cheekbone and the bridge of her nose. Around the edges, the purple faded to a grotesque blue-green.
Lara sucked in a gasp. The woman, realizing she’d let her guard down, pulled the shawl forward to cover her face.
Embarrassed and unsure what to say, Lara resorted to the obvious: two young women alone on a train in the middle of the night.
“Where are you headed?”
“Altsätten.”
“Us too. Then to Salzburg.” Should she be telling a total stranger?
“Austria?”
“Yes. We have family there.” She couldn’t stop oversharing.
“That’s nice.”
“Are you visiting anyone?”
The woman paused.
“No. I’m...I’m traveling alone.”
“Oh. That’s nice.” Stop being so nosy, Lara thought.
Lara shifted toward the window and faced forward, giving the woman across the aisle privacy. As the train shifted into gear, a tangible tension in the cabin lifted. They rode in silence—two women escaping their own traumatic pasts and running toward a new life.
***
The ride was quick. Yet with every minute that passed, Lara felt further and further from her home and family, as if her choice had put an ocean between them rather than of a handful of miles.
As the train came to a full stop in Altsätten, Lara peered through the scratched glass of the window onto the platform. Bright, overhead lights along the terminal stood in stark contrast to the pitch black of the outside air. A man in a suit and overcoat followed the signs marked “exit.” His briefcase swung in tandem with his stride.
Under the overhang, rows of benches sat empty. The station felt thick with loneliness at this early hour compared to the activity of daytime.
Her insides—twisted with anticipation—felt backwards and upside down. She searched the platform for the blonde hair and sun-kissed skin she remembered so well. She expected him to be waiting anxiously (bouquet in hand?). Now, scanning the platform, she came up empty.
Could he have backed out? The possibility sent a chill down her spine.
A whistle pierced the air and, as the doors flung open, Lara grabbed her bags and shifted out of her seat, trying not to wake Erich. The weight of him in the carrier reminded her of the last few weeks of pregnancy when getting up from a chair was a chore in itself.
Across the aisle, her lone travel companion moved to stand.
“Good luck to you,” the woman said.
“You, as well.”
The women dipped their heads knowingly. Stepping off the train, Lara looked around, unsure of where to go. She hadn’t considered what she would do, should she not be met on arrival.
Where was he?
The platform emptied quickly as the few passengers on the train dispersed. Soon, Lara was alone—a young mother, in a strange town, with a bag of belongings to her name, and a baby on her chest.
Her lip began to quiver, and she suddenly wondered if she had made a huge mistake. Should she have left the comfort and safety of her home? Was it really so bad there? Doubt devastated her mind until a familiar voice broke her thoughts.
“Lara!”
She turned to see Rubin jogging toward her. His jacket flapped open with each step. Dressed casually in khaki trousers and a blue collared shirt, Lara realized she’d rarely seen him out of uniform. He looked so different. So...average. But handsomely average.
Lara stepped forward, and then he was there. Rubin extended his arms and she ran into them, sandwiching Erich between their bodies. She breathed in his smell, spicy and clean, and buried her nose into the hollow of his chest. He seemed taller. Two short years had transformed him into a man.
“Oh, Rubin,” she gushed.
“Lara, I’ve missed you.” He leaned his cheek on the top of her head.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.”
She stepped back and looked down at Erich, who had been stirred awake from the commotion.
“This is our son, Erich,” she said proudly. Rubin beamed.
“Hi little one,” he said, reaching for Erich’s hand. The boy wrapped his tiny fingers around one of Rubin’s. “He’s so beautiful, Lara. Just like his mama.” Lara blushed, elated.
“Would you like to hold him?”
“Yes. That is, if he’ll let me.”
“He’ll be fine, won’t you, Erich?” She unwrapped the blanket from her body, releasing the baby from tight against her skin. His legs stretched long from being cramped in the carrier for hours.
Lara handed Erich to Rubin. “This is your daddy, my love.” The boy’s eyes widened and he looked to Lara for reassurance.
“It’s okay, darling. I’m right here.” Then repeated, as if she didn’t believe it herself, “This is your daddy. Can you say ‘Da-da?’”
Erich looked back and forth between them, unsure what to think of the situation and the strange person who held him. Rubin laughed. “I think he’s a little confused.”
Leaning into his body again, Lara tipped her chin up to meet Rubin’s face. Their lips met and she felt all her uncertainty melt away. He held her face as they kissed, his hand soft and gentle. When they released, she stared at him dreamily, hardly able to fathom the scene. He was really there. They were finally together.
“Come on,” Rubin said. “We better get going. My car is parked just over there.”
He carried Erich in one arm and placed his other hand on the small of Lara’s back, guiding them off the platform and down the stairs to the parking area. The train—the link between her past and her future—grew smaller as they drove away.
In the car, Lara held Erich on her lap. She gave him a sip of water from the flask in her bag. Replacing the bottle, she noticed the uneaten cheese, and her stomach rumbled. It had been over twelve hours since she’d eaten.
“I can’t believe we’re together,” Lara said, still too excited to eat. She reached a hand across the car and gave Rubin’s arm a squeeze. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment. Where will we go?”
“Back to Austria. I have a small apartment now, right in the center of Salzburg.” He said it haughtily, as though he hoped his maturity might impress her.
“That sounds perfect!” she exclaimed. “Just the three of us.”
“Just the three of us.”
They didn’t have far to drive before signs indicated the approaching border. A faint glow penetrated the darkness, as daylight made its entrance to greet the morning. Up ahead, Lara saw a small booth on the road, flanked by red stop signs.
Rubin slowed the car and got in line behind two other vehicles. They inched forward and Lara strained to see two patrolmen speaking to the driver of the first car. After a minute, the men let the car pass. Moving closer, Lara recognized the olive-green uniforms the guards wore. Multicolored badges and ribbons plastered their lapels. Pistols hung from their belts.
Lara’s stomach clenched as she looked closer. On each of their left arms was a familiar red band featuring a twisted black symbol. The image made her shudder.
“Is that the SS?” she asked, panic rising in her voice.
“Yes, but don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
“But what if they ask for my papers? They’ll see my last name.”
“It’s okay, Lara. Just trust me.”
Rubin pulled a flash of red fabric from his pocket. Lara gasped when she saw the
same black swastika at the center.
“Why do you have that?” she whispered. “I thought you said you left the regime?”
“Oh I did, darling, I did. But this is what will get us safely across the border. No one will question us when I show this. Don’t worry, it’s just for show.”
She sat back, considering what he said. Just for show? Why would he still be in possession of Nazi propaganda if he no longer participated in their cause?
The car rolled forward and to a stop. The officer leaned down, peering through the driver’s side window, his eyes cold and his mouth pinched into a thin line. Lara’s heart skipped a beat. She tightened her hold of Erich.
Rubin rolled down the thin sheet of glass separating them from the SS patrolman.
“Purpose for crossing?” the officer gruffed.
Rubin held up his arm band. “Just out for a drive. Trying to get the little one to sleep.” He pointed his thumb in Erich’s direction. Lara gave a nervous smile.
The officer nodded and took a step back, extending his arm out in front of him.
“Heil Hitler!”
Rubin followed suit. Lara’s stomach dropped when she heard the words leave his mouth.
The guard receded into the booth. Passing through the checkpoint, Rubin chuckled and shoved the band back in his pocket.
“See? Home free,” he said. He turned to Lara who looked much more concerned than amused. “Don’t worry, my love. It was just for show. I promise.” He smiled as they continued down the darkened street.
“Okay.” It was all she could manage as a tiny voice in her head screamed in warning.
Wasn’t she supposed to feel content in this moment? They were together, on their way to a fresh start. So why, then, as they barreled toward the same place that had threatened her family’s safety, did only one question run through her mind: Can I trust a man who tried to capture my own father?
Fourteen
When Marlene and Gerald returned home shortly before midnight, the train carrying Lara and Erich out of the city was already on its way.
“Dinner was lovely, Gerald. Thank you, I needed that.” Marlene leaned across the car to kiss him on the lips.
“The pleasure was mine.” He looked at his watch. “Only six hours until someone’s going to wake us up. We better get to bed.” They giggled, leaning together and feeling the wine making them lighter, easier.
“Can’t we just sleep here?” Marlene asked playfully.
“I’m afraid not, my dear.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have plans that require a bed, not a cramped car.” He raised his eyebrows and Marlene smiled coquettishly.
She grabbed her envelope clutch and met her husband at the front of the car, taking his arm as they walked to the front door. They entered the dark house quietly, not wanting to wake their sleeping children. Marlene slipped off her heels by the door and rolled her toes on the tile. She wasn’t used to wearing heels with such a point. Her pinky toe was sore.
“Coming?” Gerald whispered. She nodded.
Together they went upstairs and Marlene checked on the little girls before going to her own bedroom. She left the light off so Erich wouldn’t stir. Through the twilight coming from the window, she watched her husband undress. His silhouette gleamed as he stripped from his dinner jacket and pulled his shirt over his head. The outline of his broad shoulders made her insides flutter—he was the epitome of masculinity. How did she get so lucky? She often pinched herself, married to such a handsome man.
Marlene reached behind her back to unzip her dress, letting it fall off her shoulders. She stepped out and lay it over the chaise. Slipping into her smocked chemise, she ran a hand along her hair, removing the beaded clip and putting it on her dresser. The effects of the wine lingered. Their evening alone had been so enjoyable, she hadn’t wanted it to end.
And according to her husband, it wasn’t going to.
As the cool fabric of her nightgown warmed against her skin, Marlene desired nothing more than to slip into the comfort of her bed and find out just what he had in mind.
One more thing, she thought. Check on Erich. She tiptoed to the crib as she did every night, his little face the last image she kept before she closed her eyes.
The bed was empty.
Marlene blinked and squinted through the dark. Were her eyes playing tricks on her?
She reached into the crib to where a lumpy blanket lay rustled in the corner, but when she pressed it, the blanket flattened to the mattress.
That’s odd, she thought.
It wasn’t panic that seized her throat at first: more a genuine confusion. Erich always slept in his crib. Then again, it was unusual for her and Gerald to be out so late. Maybe the change in routine prompted different sleeping arrangements.
He must be in Lara’s room.
“Erich’s not in his crib,” she whispered to Gerald, who was crawling into bed. He looked startled, confused.
“He’s not?”
“No. I’ll check the girls’ room.”
Creeping down the hall, she turned the knob on Lara and Lena’s door and pushed it open. On the right, Lena slept soundly, her yellow blonde hair spread around her face like a lion’s mane. Marlene looked to the left. Lara’s bed was empty, its covers pulled up tight and flat.
In that instant, she knew.
Dread jolted through her body like a lightning bolt. She clenched the doorframe to keep from crumbling to the ground. When she regained the air that had been sucked from her lungs, Marlene flung on the light and ran to the bed. Lena bolted upright, blinking rapidly.
“What’s going on?” she said, alarmed and confused by the sudden frenzy.
“Where are they?” Marlene shrieked.
“What? Who?”
“Lara! And Erich!”
Before Lena could respond, Marlene ran from the room and collided with Gerald in the hall.
“They’re gone!” she cried.
“What? No!”
The hallway was dim, but Gerald could see the color drain from Marlene’s face. She put her hands over her mouth, afraid she might lose her dinner. Gerald pushed past her to Lara’s room to confirm for himself, letting out a guttural “No!” upon seeing his daughter’s empty bed.
By then, their screams had woken the rest of the children, who flew from their rooms, frightened and dazed.
“What’s going on? What’s happened?”
“Lara and Erich,” Marlene said, her lips quivering. “They’re gone.” Tears rolled down her face. Gerald stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched. A blood vessel pulsed under the skin on his neck.
“I don’t understand,” Lena said. “What? Gone where?”
“She took him.”
“Why? Where?”
Marlene looked to Gerald. He closed his eyes. There in the narrow hallway, the truth would finally come out.
“There’s something you all should know,” he said. “Something that we’ve been keeping from you.” He paused. “Lara is Erich’s mother.”
“What?” the children gasped in unison. “No. What are you saying?”
“It’s true.”
“But, but…” Gloria sniffed and Miriam wiped a tear from dripping onto her pajamas. They couldn’t grasp the severity of the situation, but something told them that if it was bad enough for their mother to be crying, it must be dire. They looked at their mother, bewildered.
“Your father is right. Erich is Lara’s son.” Marlene bowed her head.
Bettina, ever the logical one, shook her head. “But you had the baby. You were pregnant. We saw it.”
“No, darling. I wasn’t. It was a lie.”
“Why?”
“To protect her. To protect all of us.”
“I don’t get it,” Karl said.
“It’s okay, darling.” She reached out to pull him into a hug. “It’s all very complicated, and I promise we’ll explain it to you. But right now, we need to figure out where they went.”
/> A strong voice broke the silence.
“I know.” Felix stepped forward. His parents spun to face him.
“You know where they went? How?” Urgency hung on their words.
“I saw them leave. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen.”
Gerald stood face to face with Felix. “Did she say where she was taking him?”
“To be with Rubin.”
“Rubin?” Lena shouted.
A fresh set of tears sprang to Marlene’s eyes. Their greatest fear had been realized. Gerald turned suddenly and ran down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” Marlene yelled after him.
“To look for them!” he replied from below. “Maybe I can catch up to her!”
Felix darted into his room to grab a jacket, and still wearing his night clothes, ran after Gerald.
“I’m coming with you, Father!”
Before Marlene could protest, she heard a door slam, a car start, and then all was quiet. She looked back at her children’s terrified faces as despair overcame her, buckling her knees. The children surrounded their mother, linking their arms around each other and melting to the floor into a puddle of worry and tears.
***
Gerald and Felix returned two hours later, defeated and weary.
When Felix said he didn’t know how Lara was getting back to Austria, they’d figured their best bet was to check the train station. The car was barely in park before the men flew into the station, Felix checking the terminal and platform and Gerald inquiring with the ticket booth as to whether anyone had seen a young woman with a baby. Their search came up with nothing. In a last-ditch effort, they drove around the city in desperate hopes of stumbling upon Lara and Erich wandering the streets.
Nothing. Gerald knew they were gone. He turned the car toward home, focused on forming a plan. This was no longer an interception. It was now a recovery.
The house was quiet when they entered. A light from the living room drew Gerald in, and he found the children asleep, their bodies curled up on couches and chairs, while Marlene sat, awake, with Gloria’s heavy head in her lap. She wordlessly searched Gerald with eager curiosity.
He shook his head. His shoulders deflated.
Sliding out from under Gloria’s limp body, Marlene joined her husband and son in the kitchen. It was nearly three o’clock in the morning. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and exhaustion.
All That Shines and Whispers Page 10