Life is a Beautiful Thing (4-Book Box Set)

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Life is a Beautiful Thing (4-Book Box Set) Page 28

by Harmon Cooper


  Yeshi steps in front of me, covering me with her body. My hero!

  Hajime says, “You aren’t a MercSecure representative ... ” It takes me a moment to realize the attendant is also pointing weapons at him, a turn of events if there ever was one.

  I glance at Yeshi. “What’s he talking about?”

  The attendant says something in Japanese and Hajime fires a Humgun blast into the Humandroid’s neck. His body falls, flopping like a beached fish once it hits the floor. The action dissipates before my heart can increase its tempo.

  “What was that all about?” I see my reflection in the glass wall and realize how bewildered I look, how shitty I appear in Carloza’s body. It’s best to avoid my awkward stare by looking away.

  “He works for a rival security firm,” Hajime explains. “A Humandroid hunter.”

  “Who was he after? Yeshi?”

  “No, he was after me.” Hajime returns his weapon to the front of his stash. He bows once at his fallen opponent, which seems a bit much. “There hasn’t been a single time in the last five years when I had more friends than enemies.”

  “So someone is after you too?” I ask Hajime.

  “We have a lot more in common than you think.”

  “I’ll be your friend.”

  “Thanks, Meme, thanks.”

  THIRTY-THREE∞

  Hajime’s aeros lifts into the air, away from the sin and debauchery of Shinjuku’s red-light district. I press my face against the window like a child, looking for any evidence of the sex binges I know have taken place. Bingo – a man zipping up his pants while simultaneously vomiting into a recycling bin. My faith in humanity restores itself, Reader. My head swivels from the window to my right hand, which is holding Yeshi’s hand. I don’t know the point in holding hands, but we can get to the bottom of it later.

  Like some souped up Power Rangers, we speed in the air towards an unknown destination. Hajime and Yeshi are speaking in Japanese and while I could listen in, while I could install a translation app, I’m way too busy staring out at the city. Tokyo, like a chrome jab in the face; Tokyo, like a futurist’s wet dream; Tokyo, sinking the island under its weight; Tokyo, a ripple effect. The ultramodern city has aged well – if this can be said of a city when viewed from above. Ciudad del Anime stretches east to the sea, gobbling everything in its path like Totoro on a binger. Man-made islands add bread crumbs to the perimeter. Arcing subway lines dip and grow on the outskirts of the city.

  The aeros starts to land before I can get a proper view. I almost ask to go up again, to circumambulate the mega-city and forget those who seek to expunge me from the earth, but I ultimately keep my mouth shut. There’s a time and place for everything.

  We touch down in front of a home shaped like a wedge of cheese. Small trees that resemble gumdrops reach over a black iron fence. As I get out of the aeros, a dog that needs to be put to sleep barks somewhere in the distance.

  “This is it?” I ask.

  Hajime nods his basket head as he unlatches the gate. He walks casually to the front door of the home, his oddly-shaped wooden sandals clocking loudly on the pavement. I turn to Yeshi, my sigother, my enlightened being. Hard to admit that something created by a man has surpassed you, yet I truly feel this way with her.

  Clark, Dozois, Gibson, Heinlein, Kurzweil, Touring, Vinge and a whole slew of others who have debated the future of artificial intelligence would relish in my Homo machina-Homo sapiens union. For our purposes: I’m in something, maybe love or maybe a groove of comfort that allows me to feel free enough to resist expanding the boundaries I’ve narrow-mindedly created for myself – it’s definitely something, and that will do for now. Thanks, gents.

  “Meme,” Yeshi says, squeezing my hand. “Are you coming?”

  “Sorry,” I say, almost telling her that I was again talking to the voice in my head (aka you, dear Reader). I step past a ceramic statue of a chunky little man, red with white eyes. His brows drop clear to his nose, an angry mustache curls around his lips and back up to his cheeks.

  “What’s the story on this statue?” I ask. True, I could run a search on iNet but Yeshi’s fluent enough in Japanese to know word origins.

  “Daruma. A person makes a wish. If the wish comes true, they color in one of the eyes. If their next wish comes true, they color in the next eye.”

  I tap my knuckles against the statue’s head. Only one eye has been colored in.

  “They’re only good for two wishes?”

  She nods. “Yes. Then you can buy another one and make more wishes.”

  “Sounds more like a cleverly-hidden marketing ploy than it does a cultural superstition.”

  Hajime turns to me. “The man’s name is Takashi Ogawa. Please call him Ogawa-san when you meet him. Remember, respect is very important in this country. He is doing you a huge favor.”

  “Got it.”

  Hajime rings the bell once and a circular camera under the house’s rain gutter turns to us. I instinctively wave and Yeshi pulls my hand down.

  “Behave, Meme,” she whispers with a grin on her face.

  The door swings open and a Japanese man with shaggy black hair steps out. He’s shirtless, in an open robe and a pair of Kumamon boxers. He’s in his early forties, but his body is chiseled like a Roman statue. He sees me and smiles wickedly.

  “Meme-san!” he cries. The smell of sake slaps me in the face. It is at this moment that I realize I have met my match. I reach my hand out to shake his, but he’s already hugging me.

  THIRTY-FOUR∞

  “Make her stop,” Sauria said, watching the holoscreen with a disgusted face.

  Lorem looked at the screen and said, “Representative Keva. Instruct Representative Rinchi not to cut his penis off.”

  A private message appeared on the screen from Keva.

  Keva: She won’t. We need info from him. Turn on the audio feed if you want. Your precious cock will be undamaged, sir!

  Antimeria was transfixed by the screen, which showed Rinchi’s perspective of the action taking place in the stairwell. He watched as the knife slowly made its way past Manuel’s belly button. While he was no fan of Mexican cartels or their underlings, he was a fan of a man’s right to his own manhood.

  “Representative Rinchi audio feed on.”

  They heard Manuel say, “The next floor has a surgical room as well as weapon turrets on the ceilings in the main hallway. There are two elevators. The first is rigged, the second is private. Carloza has one guard whose body is… is like yours.” He nodded backwards at Keva. “Half-human, half-Humandroid. His name is Arturo. That’s all I know.”

  “We’ll just shoot through the ceiling,” Keva said. “No need for elevators.”

  “You can’t shoot through the ceiling.”

  They watched as Rinchi placed her blade under the head of his penis, still holding it in her elegant white hand. She began circling the blade around the circumference of Manuel’s member.

  “There are six turrets! That’s all I know, I swear!”

  Lorem chuckled. “Good work on this one, Antimeria; she’ll climb the ranks quickly.”

  Antimeria rubbed his temples. “Yeah, I need to make her move somewhere else though, somewhere out of my house.”

  “She definitely has a screw loose,” said Sauria, “which makes her perfect as an assassin, but horrible as a live-in girlfriend. Just buy her a flat, it won’t be very expensive.”

  “What can I say? She’s good at what she does.” Antimeria could have meant any number of things but he was essentially referring to sex.

  “She should be,” Sauria reminded him. “You know, even I have started to treat Humandroids as humans, especially my Heidi at home, which may turn troublesome in the long-run. It’s hard to separate them from us. At least in every day interactions.”

  “Sex.” Antimeria blurted out. “They’re much better than human women. Still, we need to recognize the difference between them and us.”

  Lorem harrumphed. “They’ve ente
red the floor beneath Carloza’s penthouse. They’re taking out the auto turrets.”

  Sauria and Antimeria ignored the update. Sauria said, “I almost wish they were less human, like the droids we had in the forties. You know, the ones that were so clearly not human that there was never any confusion. Maybe this is the problem with all technological innovations –the innovation is ultimately outweighed by its results.”

  Lorem cleared his throat again, trying to gain their attention.

  Antimeria nodded, “Well I need her out pretty soon. I don’t want to – I guess break-up isn’t the right word but I’ll use it anyway –I don’t want to break up with her per se, but I definitely need to rethink her role in my life. I’m going to have a baby soon; I can’t have a Humandroid killing machine hanging around even if she is an amazing fuck. You’re right; I should get her a separate flat.”

  “What about Nelly?” Sauria asked. “Are you sure you want to go through with this? You can change your mind, you know.”

  Antimeria sighed. “My mind’s made up; I’m tired of her shit anyway. She needs to know that fucking with me has consequences. I’m under the impression you’ll be taking care of that.”

  “ExEx has a partnership with a maximum security prison in Colorado called ADX. Everything is good to go.”

  “Guys, I don’t want to interrupt,” Loren said, “but it appears as if Keva and Rinchi have found the guy Manuel warned them about.”

  Antimeria and Sauria looked to the screen to see a massive man moving towards the two representatives. He was easily the size of two men; his shoulders nearly touched the sides of the hallway. They watched as Rinchi raised her PHASR and took her first shot.

  _∞_

  **Portions of the following conversation took place in Spanish. These portions have been translated by the author, who was once a starry-eyed apprentice to José Alberto Del Castillo Cabeza Mercedes Acosta III. Any mistakes are his own.

  Nelly-as-Tyro pointed her gun at Carloza. He was still sitting in his chair (in her body) laughing maniacally. She looked at his Tasmanian Tiger pollution mask, wandering if it had something to do with the pollute he had inhaled earlier. Was the masked tweaked in some way? While she felt a little lightheaded, she didn’t notice anything wrong with the mask when she had used it earlier. Why is he acting so strangely then?

  It hadn’t been hard for Nelly to get his weapon. She simply uncrossed her legs, stood and took it off his desk at some point during is tirade. It was a modified Humgun, which meant it was also effective against humans. The standard frequency used in Humstun technology had no effect on humans but it could be tweaked to fry a human’s life chip with predictably fatal results. No surprise that this tech hack was illegal; also no surprise that a man like Carloza had one.

  “Are you okay?” She needed him alive to force a body-switch. She also needed a body-switcher, which she didn’t currently have.

  “All the bicycles! All the bicycles and elks riding them with their angry eyes and cherry red cheeks and scarves dangling behind their bodies! Red pants! Owl-shaped necklaces and teddy bears from Burma! Where is Santa Anna when Texas needs invading!?”

  “Carloza, where is your body-switcher?”

  He touched his neck and said, “Body-switch? I’m not body-switching with you!”

  Nelly-as-Tyro stepped around his desk. The body-switcher was on his neck, which was going to make this ordeal a lot less ordeal-like than she’d expected. Body-switching required both users’ permission before life data was transferred. With the app Nelly had downloaded, she’d be able to force Carloza’s permission.

  “Your k-bracelet!” He screamed. “I’ll activate it!”

  “Try it,” she said.

  Carloza stood with his fists in front of him. “Don’t think I can’t fight you just because… just because I’m in your body.”

  “You want to fight now? I thought you were going crazy.”

  Since Nelly was seconds away from forcing a switch, she really didn’t want to do any damage to her original body. Nothing was as unsightly as a string of bruises.

  “I’ll tell you what,” she said, “I’ll trade you my Humgun for your necklace.”

  “If you trade … ” Carloza thought for a moment. “Wait a minute, that’s my gun! My gun!”

  “Yes, and I’ll trade it for the necklace.”

  “You … will?” He looked down. The glint of the necklace was visible in the opening of his blouse.

  She said, “Place the necklace on the table, and I’ll place the gun on the table.”

  “Yes!” he took the necklace off and said. “No! Wait! No! You’re trying to trick me devil woman!”

  They were both anchored behind his desk now, steps away from one another. To appease him, Nelly slowly lowered the Humgun. She placed it on the table and turned the barrel towards her own body. “See?” she asked. “I’ve even aimed it at myself. Now the necklace.”

  Almost there …

  Carloza dangled the necklace in front of his body. An old Mexican peso hung from the center of the necklace – his body-switcher. Nelly-as-Tyro waited just another moment before rushing forward. Her open palm hit the peso, which she immediately pressed into Carloza’s hand. She activated the force switch app; in a matter of moments, the switch was made.

  Nelly had her original body back.

  No time to deal with the after effects. Her hand immediately went to the Humgun, which was already aimed at Carloza-as-Tyro’s chest. For his part, Carloza had stumbled backwards, not quite aware of what had just happened.

  “Goodbye old friend,” Nelly said. “May you finally meet the God you always sought.” The door to Carloza’s penthouse swung open.

  “I’m here, Nelly!” Noah stepped into the room with baby Rebel wrapped in a blanket and pressed against his shoulder. A white doctor’s lab coat barely covered his skinless body made of metal, polythene, flesh cables and mechanical organs.

  “Adios.” Nelly turned back to Carloza and pulled the trigger.

  THIRTY-FIVE∞

  Rinchi aimed her PHASR at the nearest ceiling turret. The Lightsaber beam sliced through the turret, sending a shower of sparks to the floor. The air filled with the stink of burning plastic.

  “Stun Manuel,” Keva said. Rinchi turned, adjusted her PHASR, and shot Manuel with the neuromuscular inhibitor. His body fell sideways, his cheek scraping against the wall.

  Keva darted ahead, her grenade launcher clutched tightly against her chest. Two more turrets fired at her, their anti-personnel lasers pock-marking the marble floor. She pressed her back to the wall and fired two frag grenades at the ceiling about ten meters away. Cha-thunk! Cha-thunk!

  The explosion rocked the hallway; a cloud of debris filled the space with a mixture of burnt propellant and powdered stone. Rinchi was at Keva’s side seconds later, her PHASR aimed at the next turret in line. She quickly fried it while Keva changed magazines.

  Rinchi: Four down.

  They returned to Manuel. “Looks like he’ll be out for another moment.” Keva slapped the side of his face. “Manuel, can you hear me? Earth to vato, we took out four turrets. You said there were six, right?”

  Something massive moved through the rubble down the hallway. They turned to find a gargantuan man, practically a standing elephant, with a weapon the size of Nebraska in the ready-to-fire position. A visible ocular upgrade was attached to the side of his face, wrapping from the bridge of his nose to the back of his head.

  Rinchi fired her PHASR. The blast scattered and dissipated off his body.

  Rinchi: He’s wearing body armor under his clothing.

  “I got this.”

  Keva fired two frag grenades at the man. They exploded near his feet, staggered him back a few paces and shredded his clothes, but had no significant effect on him. Grenade shrapnel sliced snippets of flesh from his forearms, revealing his armored metallic substructure. She fired two EMP grenades. Both struck his center of mass, adhered to his armor and blasted their full charge into h
im. Nothing.

  He smiled and raised his weapon at the two representatives.

  Rinchi scanned him – most of the bones in his body were wrapped in reinforcing titanium mesh. He appeared to be indestructible, at least from the front. She grabbed Keva’s arm and pulled her to the ground. An enormous beam, twice the diameter of a PHASR’s highest output in Lightsaber mode whipped through the space they’d just vacated. It blasted an aeros-sized hole in the wall behind them, letting in a gust of cool air from outside.

  “Damn that was big!” Keva waved the smoke away.

  Rinchi fired a Lightsaber burst into both his knees and his groin to no apparent effect.

  Keva: You ready to show me what you got, droid whore? Run into the room to the left, blast through the walls, and come out behind him. See if he is less armored in the back or stab him or some shit. I’ll distract him.

  Rinchi: Got it.

  Keva: Stun Manuel once more while you’re at it. We don’t need him creeping away.

  Manuel was leaning against the wall now. Rinchi zapped him with a stunner as Keva launched a flash-bang and two frags at the monstrous machine-man moving their way.

  “Go! Go! Go!”

  Rinchi crawled in to the room on the left, leaping to her feet as soon as she hit the door. A quick glance around told her she was in some sort of surgery room now. There was a SpiderDoc on the ceiling and various surgical instruments lying on a rectangular table. She blasted a hole large enough for her to move through. The next room was empty save for a baby crib and some scattered toys on the floor.

  Another string of explosions caused the floor to shake and dust to fall from the ceiling. Rinchi kicked out into the hallway, six paces behind the machine-man, who was now holding Keva in the air by her neck. She had one hand around each of his index fingers, pulling with everything she had.

  Rinchi scanned him; he was as heavily armored in the back as he was the front except for… She pulled her knife, ran and dropped into a slide, jamming the knife into the back of his knee. Using her momentum, she wrenched it around as hard as she could as she slid past, unhinging his knee. He dropped Keva as he fell to the ground.

 

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