by Lucy Darling
“Surprise.” Her cheeks are pink. I’m guessing it’s because of our current position. Yet, she still doesn’t make a move. “I made you cupcakes.” I reluctantly take my eyes from hers and peer into the kitchen. She has the entire thing decorated and cupcakes in all different colors are spread out on every surface. Thoughts of her being barefoot and round with my child in this room race through my mind. “Do you like it?” Her tentative voice breaks me from my thoughts, making me realize that I haven’t said anything. She takes a step back, turning to look for herself. I feel the loss of her immediately.
“It’s perfect.” That gets me another one of those smiles. I want to tell her that I love it, that I love her, but I shove those thoughts away and decide to enjoy whatever she’s willing to give me for now. I don’t want to ruin this day by scaring her away.
I’ll take each and every one of the small pieces of her that I can get. They’ll have to be enough. For now.
6
Tinsley
Reed ate five of my cupcakes. I was impressed. Sadly, the evening is coming to an end. I ate my dinner as slowly as possible, not wanting the night to be over. I look at my phone that is vibrating across the table. Each time it goes off, Reed glares at it. I should put it away, but his reaction has me leaving it on the table.
“Who is blowing up your phone?” There’s a hint of something in his voice that I can’t quite place.
“I’m popular. What can I say?” I joke. It’s Carly, I’m sure. Which is part of the reason I’m not checking it. I’m sure her texts are filled with requests for Reed updates. It would be my luck that Reed would see one, so I don’t check my phone.
“You’re making friends here?” Reed puts his fork down. He’s cleared his plate too.
“Not really.” I shrug. “I’m shy so it’s been a little hard. It’s Carly blowing up my phone.”
“It’s probably for the best. When you return home it might be hard to leave new friends behind.” I stare at him. Is he waiting for me to leave? The thought that he’s counting down the days until I move out slices through me. Have I overstayed my welcome? Is that why he’s been acting so weird lately?
“I don’t know if I will return home. Carly is making plans to move out here, in fact.”
“You’re thinking of staying?” My phone buzzes again. Reed clenches his jaw. I grab it, putting it in my lap under the table. I switch it to silent.
“Am I supposed to go back home to my parents? I know it’s hard for you to realize it but I’m not a little girl anymore. I have to go out on my own at some point.”
“You don’t have to do anything.”
I laugh. “So I could just live here forever?”
“If you wish.” I don't need his pity as a reason for me to stay. I want him to want me to stay, but I’m not so sure he’ll ever see me as more than a young girl.
“Carly and I might get a place together.” I don’t want to leave him. The thought of not seeing him in some way every day is too sad to think about right now. But maybe I’ll have to if I want to keep my heart from breaking anymore. It’s clear that he doesn’t see me in the same way that I see him. He may not notice, but his cock sure did based on its reaction to me earlier.
“You think you’re ready for that?”
“I don’t know, to be honest. Some days I feel normal and other days—” I shrug, not sure how to put it. I got scared today in a busy department store. How would it be if Carly had to go out of town and I needed to stay alone? Would I even be able to handle it?
“You were attacked, Tinsley. You need time. There is no rush.”
“How am I supposed to get better if I do everything to avoid men? How will I ever be able to date? I need to get over my fear.” I toss out the dating thing to see if he has any sort of reaction.
“You don’t avoid me.” A small smile forms on his lips. No, I don’t avoid him. I am always seeking him out. I lick my lips.
“What if—” I shake my head. “Never mind.” I stand, taking my plate with me.
“What if what?” He follows me into the kitchen, putting his plate in the sink with mine.
“You were turned on. I felt it.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “You’re a beautiful girl. I didn't mean to scare you.”
I shake my head. “You didn't scare me,” I admit. Far from it. “That’s the thing. I’m not scared when I’m with you.”
“Good. I never want you to fear me.” His eyes drop to my mouth when I lick my lips again.
“Maybe I could practice with you.” I take a step toward him.
“Practice?”
“Yeah. You know. We could do stuff so that I can get more comfortable with things. I think it would help me out immensely.” He doesn’t say a word. He continues to stare at me as though I’ve lost my mind. “I mean, if you want to. Or have the time. Never mind. Forget I even mentioned it.” I swear I would shove my own foot in my mouth if I could so that I stop talking. I’m flustered so I turn to leave. Before I can move, he steps into my path. I almost run right into him.
He grabs me so I don’t fall on my ass. His hands wrap around my wrist. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” His voice is deeper than normal. The sudden shift in his tone causes me to become wet. My entire body heats at the thought of him using that voice with me in bed.
“Never mind.” I try to pull my hands free, but he doesn't let go.
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
I bite my lip. His eyes drop to my mouth. Something flashes in his eyes that I don’t understand. “Why would it make me uncomfortable? I’m the one that suggested it.”
“You might change your mind or something.” Oh my. Is he thinking about it? I feel my heart start to race.
“I’m not going to change my mind.” No way in hell would that happen. I want this more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. My body is begging for him to say yes and give it what it needs.
“You might, though.”
“If you don’t want to do it, just say so.” I don’t want to go back and forth on this. I can feel my face already turning five shades of pink as we talk. He lets go of my wrist and steps back, letting me know his answer. I’d be lying if I don’t admit that his rejection hurts.
“I’ll leave it with you then, Tinsley.”
“Leave it with me?” What does that even mean?
“If you want a kiss then you can kiss me. If you want something all you have to do is ask and I’ll give it to you.”
I shift on my feet. Okay, that’s not what I thought he was going to say. This man is so confusing.
“I don’t want to kiss you if you don’t want to kiss me.” The pulse between my thighs grows stronger when I think about his gorgeous mouth on mine.
“There isn't a man alive who wouldn't want to kiss you, Tinsley.” I feel myself blush more at the comment. I should ask for a kiss now.
“Can we watch a movie?” I ask instead. This might not be as easy as I thought it would be.
“Yes,” he agrees.
“I’m going to change.” I step back toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pull him down. He comes. I give him a quick peck before I turn, running off toward my room. My lips tingle feeling him there. I can’t believe I just did that. I smile. This might actually work.
7
Reed
I don’t stop her when she lies down, resting her head on my thigh as she watches the movie. I don’t even know what she picked. I can’t concentrate on anything but her. I can still taste her innocence and strawberry lip gloss on my lips. My cock has been rock hard for hours just from the tiny peck she had given me.
I continue to watch her as she takes small breaths in and out. She’s been asleep for over an hour. The movie starts playing again but I still don't move. I don’t care that my back is stiff from not moving. Every second I get to spend with her is worth it. No matter what.
I lift my hand, running it through her long blonde locks. I
still can’t believe what she’s asked me to do. My mind keeps drifting back to her kissing me. It was over before it began. I wanted to grab her and pull her more into me. Deepen the kiss until she was breathless and begged for me to do more. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to claim her as mine in that moment.
This is going to be one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do. She’s going to test every ounce of control I have. It will be worth it. I wonder how far she will let this go. For all I know she could change her mind tomorrow. When she walked back into the room in her pajamas you would have thought nothing had happened. She plopped down on the sofa. Not even next to me. I was disappointed. That was until she crawled over to me, putting her head into my lap.
She is wearing one of my shirts. She often does with a pair of flannel pants. Tonight there are no pants. I can see her beautifully defined legs. Their smoothness begs for me to run my hand up them until I reach her cunt, but I don’t. Instead I convince myself she has shorts on. But when she shifts and moves around I don’t see any. Only bare skin.
She is trying to kill me. I told her she will have to make the moves. I won’t push myself on her. Not after all she has been through. It also hurts like a bitch that she wants to do this with me to get more comfortable around men. Is she considering me a test drive? Over my dead body. I am just going to have to show her being with me is the only option.
“Reed?” Tinsley’s eyes slowly open. “I missed the movie.” Her bottom lip comes out.
“We can try again tomorrow.”
“Promise? You won’t forget?” How does she not know that there isn’t a thing about her that I could ever forget? I know her every movement. I’ve memorized every facet of her.
“I promise.”
She lets out a yawn. “I guess I should get to bed. I have classes tomorrow.” I nod in agreement. Before she can move I pick her up into my arms.
“Reed!” She laughs, wrapping her arms around my neck. I carry her into her bedroom. I haven't been in her room since she moved in. The whole room smells like her. Her sweet smell surrounds me, reminding me how her soft plump lips had felt against mine. I lie her down in the bed.
“Thank you for the lift.” A sweet laugh comes from her. It goes straight to my dick. She still hasn't released her arms from around my neck. I’m leaning over her. I can feel her warm breath against my lips.
Her scent is trying to lure out the hungry beast inside of me. I watch as if it’s in slow motion as she lifts up, pressing her mouth against mine. A growl leaves me when her tongue slides across my bottom lip. I try to deepen the kiss, but she releases her hold on me, falling back down onto the bed. She smiles up at me as though she is a sweet innocent angel.
“Goodnight, Reed.”
“Night, Tinsley.” I stand to leave her bedroom, flipping the lights off as I go. I don’t close her bedroom door. She doesn't ask me to either. I hate when that damn door is shut. I’d take it off the hinges if it were up to me.
I head back to my bedroom. I go straight into the bathroom, stripping off my clothes before turning on the water. I groan as I wrap my hand around my cock. I’ve been hard for so long my balls ache. It doesn't take me much to get there. I can still smell her on me.
“Tinsley.” I growl her name as cum shoots from my cock, hitting the tiled floor and going down the drain. Still my cock doesn't go down. I give up. I’ll never be satisfied unless I’m inside her. I turn the water to cold, letting it run down my body. It doesn't help either. I flip it off, grabbing the towel to dry off as I make my way toward my closet. I grab a pair of boxer briefs and pull them on.
When I step out of my closet, I see Tinsley sitting in the center of my bed staring right at me. I must be dreaming. I run my hand down my face. Nope, she’s still there.
“I want to sleep with you,” she says, biting her bottom lip.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Her shoulders drop. “Tinsley. I want to make sure it’s okay with you. You're more than welcome to sleep in here.”
“You did tell me you’d give me anything I asked for,” she points out with a small smirk on her full lips.
“I did.” She is going to kill me in the process. Sometimes I think she has no idea how truly beautiful she is. She is going to test all of my resolve tonight. She pulls the blanket back, patting the other side of the bed.
I make my way over to the bed. “Hold on.” I turn back around, realizing I’m only in my fucking underwear. I grab a pair of sleep pants before I return to the bed. I swear I saw a glimpse of disappointment on her face, but she doesn't say anything as I slip into the bed with her.
“Night, Tinsley.” I flip off the light before lying back down. I stare up at the ceiling, knowing that with her next to me, I’m not going to get a wink of sleep tonight. I can’t believe she’s in my bed. How many times have I fantasized about this? About her being pressed up against me as I slip my hand into her panties to feel how wet she is for me? Fuck. My cock throbs with the knowledge that her sweet pussy is so close. I wipe a hand down my face, trying to distract myself.
“Are you okay?” I feel her move closer to me.
“Yes.” I keep my voice level. I am far from okay. I don’t have a word for what I am right now, but it’s definitely not okay.
“It’s no big deal. Carly and I sleep together all the time.” She moves again, pressing herself into my side. I close my eyes. I’m not sure that's the same thing, but I don’t tell her that. This is far from innocent.
“Sleep. You have school tomorrow.” She rests her head on my chest.
“Thank you, Reed. You’ll never understand how safe you make me feel. You’re the only person that’s ever done that for me.” She turns her head kissing my chest. “Happy birthday,” she says before she drifts off to sleep.
I’m officially a bastard for allowing this. Even that knowledge doesn’t stop me from pulling her closer to me. Nothing will ever stop me when it comes to giving her what she needs.
8
Tinsley
The day drags by at a snail's pace. I can’t seem to concentrate on much else but how it felt to be in Reed’s bed last night. I want to go home already. I normally enjoy classes. They fill the time. Not today, though.
I can’t wait to get home and hopefully have another movie night with Reed. I smile, thinking about how shocked he looked when he walked out of his closet and saw me in his bed last night. It might have been sneaky and underhanded, but sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
I have to get that man to see me as more than a girl. I know his body sees me as more, but I need his mind to catch up. I think it’s working. He was hard for me. He kissed me back too. All of those things have to mean something. Unable to control myself any longer, I pull out my phone to text Reed.
Me: Movie night! I stopped at the bakery before class and got chocolate dipped everything. I’ll share.
I add a kiss emoji before I hit send.
Reed: I’m sorry, Tin. Something came up. I have to go out of town for a few days.
Disappointment hits me like a Mack truck. Did he regret letting me sleep in his bed last night? Have I pushed him too far and made him feel uncomfortable? My stomach sinks at that thought. I would never want him to feel that way. Crap. I stare at my phone trying to come up with a response.
I can’t think of one so I tab out. Instead, I text Carly and give her a rundown of what happened. I feel pathetic. I was throwing myself at him. What other choice does he really have? I know when it comes to me Reed is sweet. That he’d do anything for me. I’m like his little sister. My eyes sting with tears.
I grab my bag, slipping out the back of the classroom. I never miss classes, but with my mind racing, it’s as if I’m not there anyway. Missing the second half of my last one for the day won’t kill me. When I get outside I stand there, unsure of where to go. My phone rings in my hand before I can make a decision.
“Hey,” I answer seeing Carly’s number.
�
��You okay?” Carly asks.
“Not really,” I admit. Even with how embarrassing this is, I manage to tell Carly because we tell each other everything.
“Don’t get down on yourself.” I wipe a tear that escapes. I need to come to terms with the fact that Reed and I won’t be together. That he doesn’t have the same feelings for me that I do for him. I know that he’ll continue to be good to me and maybe even compromise what he wants to make me happy. But I can’t let him do that.
He’s a great friend to me. I wish I could keep him there and that it was enough, but I can’t help how I feel. I don’t think my heart can bear the constant disappointment of knowing he’ll never be mine. I know I’ll never get over him if I’m seeing him all the time.
“It’s hard not to.” I start walking.
“He might be freaked out. I still think the man is in love with you. I don’t care what you say. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Last night he got to see that you have the same feelings. Maybe he’s running scared.” I snort a humorless laugh.
“Yes, that’s just what a girl wants to hear. That the man she loves is running scared from her.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I can’t chase him. It’s one thing to try and show him that I want him and another to downright chase after him. I can’t do it.” I’m not that girl. It will hurt me to walk away, but I won’t beg him to be with me. The only reason I’ve gone this far is because I thought maybe he had those same feelings. That it might have been something more than a physical attraction.
“You’re right. You shouldn't have to chase any man. That means we move to Plan B.” Oh no. There is another plan? I’m almost afraid to hear what Carly has up her sleeve now.