Toxic (Addiction #1)

by Meghan Quinn

  Landon pulled her in close so her head rested against his chest.

  “What has your stomach hurting?”

  “I don’t think I love Grey.”

  Landon almost stood straight up from his seat, but didn’t since he was holding Quinn. She didn’t love Grey? What the hell was Landon supposed to do now? Grey was his brother, but Quinn trusted Landon not to say anything. Shouldn’t Grey know though, that his girlfriend of many years was contemplating her love for him?

  “What do you mean, you think?”

  “I don’t get the same feeling around him as I used to and I know he doesn’t love me.”

  “That’s not true, Quinn. He loves you so much.”

  Quinn shook her head. “He might love me, but he’s not in love with me. He doesn’t want to be with me. He doesn’t look at me as if I’m the last woman in the world and he couldn’t live without me. You know, the way Rook looks at Maisy. I want that. I think Grey looks at me as if I was the same girl who he met in high school. I’m not that girl anymore, Landon, and I don’t want to be that sweet and innocent girl anymore. I want to live, do something crazy, get a tattoo, have my nipples pierced like Willow’s.”

  Landon shook his head. “You don’t want your nipples pierced. That shit hurts.”

  “You know what I mean. I feel stuck, in a rut, depressed as hell. I want more.”

  “You can still do that with Grey,” Landon suggested.

  Landon had no clue why he was trying to push Quinn toward Grey when she clearly said she didn’t think she loved him anymore and since Landon was head over heels in love with Quinn. This was his chance to tell her how he felt about her, to move in and finally claim what he’d wanted ever since Grey brought Quinn home in high school.

  He couldn’t do it though. He couldn’t do that to Grey and he couldn’t put Quinn in that kind of position; it wasn’t fair to anyone. Even though he so desperately wanted to take Quinn back to his dressing room and show her how much he wanted her, he wasn’t going to. Instead, he was going to be the friend she relied on.

  “No, he thinks I’m the girl next door, but I don’t want that. I want to be like Willow; I don’t want to give a flying fuck what people think about me.” Quinn tapped her mouth with her finger. “I think I’m going to get a boob job. I have a lot of money saved up. I think a boob job is just what I need to start my new image.”

  Jesus.

  “Quinn, stop. You’re perfect. You don’t need to change anything.”

  “No, you’re wrong. I need something new. I just don’t know what yet. I think a boob job is in order.” Quinn got off the bench and patted Landon on the face. “You’re a good friend. Thanks for the coffee.”

  Landon watched Quinn walk away and debated what the hell he was going to do. Quinn didn’t need a boob job. Landon was serious when he said she was perfect. She was so beyond perfect and she didn’t even see it. He needed to make sure she did nothing to her body that she would regret later on. Wherever this new found craziness came from, Landon had to make sure he kept an eye on it because he didn’t want Quinn walking on the tour bus one day looking exactly like Willow.

  ***

  They were all lounging backstage, fiddling with their instruments, listening to the roadies make sad but comical attempts at impersonating Rook’s stage presence and picking away at the food that was provided. Rook shook his head and laughed at the roadies whose impersonations were spot on. Cruz was laughing so hard from the way the guys held the pretend microphone, played with the “audience” and ran their hands through their hair, his cackle was bordering annoying. The whole act made Rook think about how he might have to assess his stage presence, then again, he never got any complaints.

  Cruz was sitting on a couch right next to Maisy. His arm was wrapped around Maisy’s shoulders and they were both laughing and enjoying the show in front of them. Rook eyed Cruz’s arm and was tempted to rip the offending appendage off and shove it up his so-called friend’s ass but they kind of needed him on the guitar. Cruz’s amazing ability to pick at a guitar was the only reason why Rook kept his distance.

  Rook was nowhere near the point of moving on after his short stint with Maisy, he was starting to believe he never would be. He tried to convince himself that it would happen, but he knew he was wrong. Maisy was different, she was something special, someone he didn’t deserve but couldn’t let go.

  Her laugh rang through the room, seizing Rook’s heart. He missed her, he missed the way she looked up at him with her beautiful brown eyes, he missed the way she would lightly kiss him in the morning, he missed holding her and feeling her soft skin against his. Damn him.

  Cruz pulled Maisy into his chest and kissed the side of her head. Rook felt sick to his stomach. Why Cruz was being such an ass was beyond him, but Rook couldn’t take it much longer. The thought of Maisy being held, touched and kissed by someone else was incomprehensible. The mere thought of it almost brought him to his knees. He hated that he was so affected by her, despised it but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him.

  A couple of the roadies were now talking to her while Cruz held her around the shoulders. They were all laughing and having a good time. Rook lost it. He couldn’t feel his legs, his stomach started to roll and he needed to leave the room before he embarrassed himself.

  Before he left, he glanced once more at Maisy. She made eye contact with him at the same time. Her eyes were full of sorrow, but her face was smiling and laughing. Did she feel bad for him? Did she pity him? He didn’t need her damn pity.

  Rook grabbed his guitar and went into his dressing room where he could have some peace and quiet. He closed the door and thought about playing his guitar, but was too tired and emotionally worn out, so instead he took up residence on the couch and buried his head in one of the pillows. Closing his eyes, he tried not to think of the edgy angel that taunted him at night.

  Sleep eclipsed his body. Rook didn’t know how long he was asleep for, but he woke to the shifting and dipping of the couch he was sleeping on. He turned to see who was next to him when he made eye contact with those gorgeous chocolate pools.

  Sitting straight up and rubbing his eyes, he said, “Uh, hey what’re you doing?” Rook scooted to the far side of the couch.

  Maisy twisted her hands in her lap as she studied the coffee table in front of her, avoiding eye contact with him.

  “You looked upset. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m fine,” Rook snapped, not meaning to.

  Maisy finally made eye contact with him as her eyes widened at his cruel tone. She started to get up from the couch when he stopped her.

  He blew out a frustrated breath as he tried to put his emotions in check. “I’m fine,” he said in a calmer voice.

  “You don’t look fine. Are you…using again?”

  Rook rolled his eyes, irritated by her assumption. “No, not currently and I wouldn’t necessarily call dabbling in some pot, using. If I was shooting up heroine and sniffing coke off the pee soaked toilet seat, then you would have room to be concerned.”

  “Any drug is using, Rook.”

  Rook ran his hand through his hair. “Are you here for a reason? Or are you just here to mother me?” He knew he was being an ass, but he couldn’t help it and frankly she was pushing his buttons. He was unfortunately programmed to be hot-tempered, another attribute to thank his father for.

  “Sorry for caring. For some reason I actually forgot that you live to be a dickhead.”

  She got up and Rook instantly felt empty as she walked to his door to leave him behind, like she should.

  “You fuck him yet?”

  Maisy turned around slowly as she thought about his statement. Blazing fury ran through her eyes. Rook actually felt nervous for a second. She was a small thing, but the look she was giving him was screaming that she was going to sacrifice him to Satan.

  ***

  Maisy didn’t know why she went to go check on Rook, he had been nothing
but an ass to her since he accused her of using him, but for some reason she had the idea that he was hurting and trying to push her away by being an ass. He was doing a good job and while they were all hanging out backstage, she had a weak moment. That was why she found herself in Rook’s dressing room, wishing she was backstage with everyone else instead of being accused of fucking another guy.

  She turned around from exiting the room that seemed like it was closing in on her and gave Rook her best death glare. How dare he accuse her of such a thing? It took twenty-one years for her to finally give herself to someone and now he thought she was running her pussy open for business?

  “Excuse me?” she asked.

  Rook shook his head. “Forget it.”

  “Oh, hell no.” She stood in front of him and said, “How dare you accuse me of something like that. You really think I’m some kind of slut now, spreading my legs for any guy that comes my way because you finally took my virginity? Do you really think that low of me?”

  Rook stood up and paced the room. “No, I don’t.” Settling into one spot, Rook leaned against the counter that was in the dressing room. He looked defeated, as if he was fighting a battle that he had no chance of winning.

  “You’re not a slut, you’re…you’re perfect. Everything about you is perfect and hell if I can’t get you out of my mind.”

  The dark cloud that was hovering over Maisy’s head slowly started to part as she heard Rook’s words. As if a magnet was pulling her toward him, she started walking in his direction; there was no hope of staying away. He watched her get closer and closer, but didn’t move a muscle. Her heart pounded through her chest at the idea of him pushing her away once again. She didn’t think she could take his rejection. She was so raw from what he did to her on the bus, she didn’t think she could take his crap once again.

  “Do you want to forget about me?” He nodded yes to her question. “Why?”

  “Because life would be easier, to go back to my old ways, to be lost at the bottom of a bottle, to have mindless sex with random women I would never see again, to not have to feel anything and be completely numb to the world.”

  She stepped closer to him, trying not to show how nervous she was. “Would your life be better that way?”

  Rook shrugged his shoulders in defeat. “I want to believe life would be better, but I know it wouldn’t be. You’ve captured me. You’ve changed me and made me a better man. You’ve shown me what it’s like to feel and to be felt. You have given me one of the most precious gifts in the world, your soul and body.”

  “But…”

  “But I’m no good for you. I’ve told you that time and time again. I will hurt you, we won’t last and I will ruin you. It’s bound to happen, but damn if I can’t push you away anymore. You’re an addiction I can’t overcome, no matter how hard I try. I crave you every damn day of my life and I have a need to smell you, hold you, and kiss you with every fucking fiber in my sad and pathetic body.”

  Maisy placed her hands on his chest as she closed the gap between them.

  “What if I want to take the risk? What if I want you too?”

  Rook looked down at her and she could feel his hot breath on her skin which caused goose bumps to ripple across her body.

  “You’d be a fool to want that. I’m not lying when I say I will destroy you. What’s flowing between us is toxic. We can’t get enough of it, but it will slowly kill us. I know I shouldn’t expose you to such a thing, but I’m too damn selfish to stop myself. I want you, Maisy. I need you and to hell if I’m going to put your needs in front of mine.”

  With that he crushed his lips against hers and set every nerve ending in her body on fire. She knew he was right, what they had was toxic, but she couldn’t stop herself. She felt the same way when it came to Rook Tyler. She needed him, her soul begged for him even though she knew in the end she would die from heartache.

  Chapter 16

  Rook knew he needed to stop; he knew what he was doing was wrong, but once again, his body and his need took over his brain as he pushed Maisy up against the wall of his dressing room. He couldn’t hold out any longer, he knew he couldn’t trust her, but hell if he couldn’t keep his body from throwing itself at her. The burn to have her skin on his was too intense to deny himself anymore.

  Maisy gasped as her shirt was torn off her body and her bare skin touched the coldness of the wall. Rook stripped his shirt off as well and pressed his body against hers so he could feel her warm innocence rub off on him.

  His head lowered to her neck so he could inhale her intoxicating scent. She smelled like vanilla and flowers all wrapped up into one. Her smell drove him mad.

  “I want you so bad,” Rook murmured across her body as he kissed across her collarbone.

  “Then take me Rook, make me yours. Make us forget everything.”

  Rook reached behind Maisy’s back, unclasped her bra with a simple flick of his fingers and watched the fabric fall to the ground, revealing her perfectly taught nipples. His mouth watered as he took in the beauty in front of him. He had been with many women, more than he could even remember and Maisy was by far the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Her breasts were by no means large, but they were perfect for her body size and so damn perky that Rook thought he would lose his mind from just staring at them.

  “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

  “Show me how beautiful, Rook. Show me.”

  Growling in the back of his throat, Rook tore down Maisy’s shorts, panties and all, and lifted her up so her legs wrapped around his jean-clad waist while her back was pinned against the wall. She squealed from his abruptness and then moaned from the contact her moist center made with the roughness of his jeans.

  Rook ran his hands up the sides of her body and grazed the side of her breasts with his thumbs, reveling in the smooth skin she kept for only him. Knowing he was the only man on earth that ever touched her body intimately was one of the biggest turn-ons he ever experienced. She was his, all his. He marked her with his brand and, even though he knew their relationship was bound for failure, he was going to try to make her his for as long as he could.

  He opened her mouth with his tongue and worked his magic as he gently captured her breast in his hand; he massaged the round perfection while he moved his tongue in and out of her mouth. She tasted like the best high he had ever had, even better. She was sweet, but salty at times, driving his mind in all different directions.

  She ground her hips against his as he worked her body. Her intensity grew as her legs tightened around his body, indicating that she was getting close to her climax and hell if she was going to climax while dry humping him against the wall. Hell no, she was going to go over when he was deep inside of her.

  Carrying her to the couch, while she was still wrapped around his waist, he softly placed her on the buttery leather, grabbed a condom from his wallet and then tore the rest of his clothes off. Maisy lay still on the couch while she intricately watched every movement he made, as if trying to soak up every moment like it was their last. Her golden strands fanned out against the contrasting black sofa, portraying the exact picture he had in his head, his edgy angel.

  She gave him a devilish smile and placed her hands behind her head as she spread her legs for him.

  Shaking his head and laughing he said, “What have I created?”

  “A sex-crazed trollop, now get over here before I finish the job myself.”

  “Touch yourself and you’re going to be in some serious trouble.”

  He knelt down next to her and traced his fingers up and down her inner thighs, making her squirm against the leather of the sofa.

  “And if I don’t listen, what will my punishment be?” she asked in a strangled voice.

  “We will have to have an educational lesson on edging,” Rook replied while leaning down and licking the inside of her thighs, but not ever touching her heated center, where she begged for his touch. He saw the glistening of desire pouring off of her as he
licked up and down her thigh. She spread her legs even further and moved her hips toward his face.

  “What’s edging?” she asked, breathlessly.

  “I’ll show you, boo.”

  He bent his head down even further and placed a kiss right on the center of her folds making her hips buck up in the air as a moan escaped her mouth. He pulled her further on the couch so she was completely lying down. He put one of her legs up on the back of the couch and the other so it touched the ground. She was completely exposed to him and he loved every bit of it.

  “Jesus, Rook…please.”

  “Patience, baby. That’s what’s edging is all about.”

  Placing both hands on her pelvis, he lowered his tongue and flicked it along her wet folds. Reveling in the taste of her, he continued his light movement, not applying too much pressure, but trying to drive her crazy. He was doing his job because her body was writhing side to side trying to get him to apply more pressure. He kissed her on her inner thighs again, but then moved back to her center, fully inserting his tongue.

  “Yesss! God, yes!” Maisy moaned, as he stuck his fingers in her and stroked her with his tongue at the same time. “Oh Rook, yes.”

  Rook smiled at how his shy little virgin had turned into a very vocal lover in such a short period of time. Her cries of pleasure only spurred him on and made his dick harder than he could believe.

  Her hips flicked at him again and he pulled himself away from her greedy urges.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, with her hand over her eyes, trying to catch her breath. “Rook, I’m burning.”

  “That’s the point, baby. Edging is getting you as close as possible to an orgasm and riding that feeling out until you can’t take it anymore.”

  “Well, I’m fucking there,” she said, as she moved her hand toward her pussy.

  “Oh, no you don’t.” He swatted her hand away. “That’s mine and no one else is allowed to touch it…without my permission that is. And by the way, you’re not even close to edging.”