Eugenia was from Dallas, Texas. She had big hair, a thick accent and an ability to drink anyone under the table. She, too, wanted to move, but stayed where she was because of her children and grandchildren.
All three of them were older than Pam, but each had been widowed. They’d met on cruises and now took two or three trips together each year.
“The Caribbean, Alaska or Mexico, then somewhere exotic,” Eugenia drawled. “Last year we did a river cruise in Germany. Lots of good wine. Plus on the river, the ride’s real smooth.”
After Olimpia had taken Pam back upstairs and introduced her to her friends, Pam had found herself having a drink with them in the Explorers Lounge. The fact that it was the middle of the afternoon didn’t seem to bother anyone. That evening she’d joined them for dinner.
Their entrées had been cleared and now they lingered over a shared chocolate soufflé and decaf coffee.
Laura nodded. “That was a good one. We’re still planning our last cruise for this year. I say Italy.”
Olimpia shook her head. “No way. I’m still upset about what they did to Amanda Knox.”
Pam frowned. “Who?”
Eugenia rolled her eyes. “That American girl accused of murdering her roommate. The trial was all over the news. They released her, then convicted her again.”
Pam glanced at Olimpia. “You know her?”
“She’s never met her, or anyone in her family,” Laura said. “Olimpia, honey, you’re beyond weird. You know that, right? Not that I don’t love you like a sister, but you are desperately strange.”
“I’m old. I can be strange if I want. I’m not going to Italy.”
“It’s a beautiful country.” Eugenia sighed. “My Roger and I had a wonderful time there. Great wine, great sex.” She smiled. “The perfect combination. The people were so warm and friendly.”
“You go without me,” Olimpia said, and picked up her coffee. “I’ll be fine on my own.”
Pam wasn’t sure what to make of the trio. They had obviously been friends for a long time. There was an affection and a history. She liked that.
“Roger is?” she asked cautiously.
“My late husband. It’s been five years now.” Eugenia smiled sadly. “He was a wonderful man. I still miss him.” She nodded at the other two. “We’re all widows. How long has your husband been gone?”
Pam blinked. “Nearly two months.”
“He booked the cruise before he died, I’ll bet,” Laura murmured. “You took it, anyway.” She tilted her head. “Same thing happened to me. That’s how I met Olimpia.”
The petite woman nodded. “I was the first. My husband died almost twenty years ago. I was supposed to go on a cruise with a girlfriend and she backed out at the last minute. I said the hell with it, and went by myself. I was lonely and I still had a good time. I went back every year until I met these two. Now we travel together. Cruises are comfortable for women our age. No luggage to carry, no worries about the hotel being safe.”
Pam couldn’t imagine such a thing, and yet it made perfect sense. They were able to get away, to have fun. To just be themselves. Not someone’s mother or grandmother. Not that she minded either, but what she most wanted was to be John’s wife again and that was impossible.
“We have a lot of fun things planned for this week,” Laura said cheerfully. “You’ll join us.”
“Are you asking or telling?” Eugenia raised her eyebrows. “It sounded like an order to me.”
“I think it was.” Laura laughed. “What do you say, Pam? Want to join the widows club?”
Pam thought about her plan. Meeting these three would make it easy. She would have a visible presence on the ship. People would know her and remember her. It was perfect.
“I do,” she told them, raising her cup of decaf. “To the widows club.”
* * *
Nicole pressed her hand to her chest. She told herself that feeling as if she couldn’t breathe wasn’t the same as not being able to catch her breath. That the problem was anxiety—there wasn’t anything physically wrong. Only her body didn’t seem to be listening to her brain as the sense of panic increased, the sense of impending death grew, too.
She gasped, trying to draw air into her lungs. Shannon walked in from the kitchen, a bottle of wine in her hand.
“What?” she demanded the second she saw Nicole.
“I’m having a panic attack,” Nicole gasped. “I can’t breathe.”
Shannon set the open bottle on the coffee table. “Stand up and start walking. You have to burn off the chemicals pouring into your body. Talk to me.”
Nicole shook her head. She wasn’t going to talk. She could barely breathe. Even though she was sucking in air, it felt as if it wasn’t getting into her lungs.
“Talk,” Shannon said firmly. “If you can talk, you can breathe.”
“I can’t,” Nicole blurted, her voice a little strangled. “I can’t.”
But the words came a little easier.
She sucked in more air. “I’m talking. This is me talking.” As she spoke, she circled the living room. “I’m a total mess.”
“You’re not. You’re under a whole lot of stress. Which is perfectly understandable. Who wouldn’t be? First you had to deal with Eric writing the screenplay and doing nothing else. Then he sold it and now this.”
Nicole nodded. The vise around her chest loosened and she thought maybe she wasn’t breathing so hard. She circled back to the sofa and sat down.
“Everything’s a disaster,” she admitted as she took the glass of wine Shannon offered. “My life, my marriage.”
“Not everything,” Shannon told her firmly. “You have a business you really like and you have Tyler.”
Nicole sipped the wine. “You’re right. Work keeps me sane. It’s where I have to be every morning. It’s an anchor. Tyler’s just great.” His happy smile and his excitement about every part of his day made putting one foot in front of the other possible. Now it felt as though Tyler was all she had and that was way too much to put on a five-year-old.
She looked at Shannon. “Eric’s gone. He’s really gone. I haven’t heard from him in two days. He hasn’t been by, we haven’t spoken. He sent a text saying he was finding his own place and that he’d be in touch.”
“What about the money?”
Shannon’s question surprised her. “What do you mean?”
“Your joint checking account. Did he clean it out?”
The question was completely unexpected, but the implications were terrifying.
“I don’t know.”
Shannon pointed toward the study. “Let’s go find out.”
“He wouldn’t do that,” Nicole said, even as she got to her feet and walked across the living room to the hallway.
“Three days ago you would have said he wouldn’t leave, and he has. I’m sorry to be harsh, but I’ve had friends go through a divorce. It’s never easy and things get ugly fast. He made a lot of money selling his screenplay. Half of that is yours.”
“I don’t want it,” Nicole said automatically.
“Sure you do. You’re going to have expenses. This house for one.”
The house that was only in her name, she thought. But Shannon was right. There were expenses. Greta. And even if she didn’t keep the full-time nanny, there was going to be day care. She worked. With Eric gone, Tyler was solely her responsibility.
She opened her browser, then entered the address for the
bank. After logging in, she checked the balance, then the history.
“He pulled out fifty thousand dollars, but the rest of it is there.”
“When did he take out the money?”
“This morning.”
“Tomorrow you go open a personal account and do the same. Take out exactly what he did.” Shannon sat in the spare chair. “You’re going to need to talk to a lawyer. I can talk you through some basics, but you need someone who knows the law. Someone who’s on your side. California is a community property state. That means everything goes into a bucket and the bucket is split in half. If you had assets before the marriage or he did, then those are separate. But everything else is up for grabs. His money from the screenplay, your business.”
Shannon paused, then gentled her tone. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know this is hard.”
It was only then that Nicole realized she was crying. She brushed away the tears. “I never thought this would happen. I never thought we’d get a divorce. But he said he didn’t love me.” She pressed her lips together. “No. That’s not true. He said he never loved me. Things have been so horrible between us lately. I thought maybe we weren’t going to make it, but that was in my head, you know? Not real. Now he’s gone. I haven’t told Tyler. Eric spends so much time on work, he hasn’t really noticed. Greta helps with that. She knows. She hasn’t said anything, but I’m sure she does.”
The slightly scary nanny had been more kind than usual in the past couple of days.
“I kept thinking I’d be okay on my own. That getting a divorce might not be so bad. Now I want to go back and fix things. Only I can’t.”
How could she fix a relationship when her husband had never wanted it in the first place?
“I’m here for you,” Shannon told her. “Do you want me to stay with you for a couple of days?”
Nicole sniffed. “No. I’m not scared to be alone.” She thought about what Shannon had said earlier about the community property. “Do you think I should talk to a lawyer?”
“I do. I can get some names for you in the morning. You need to know what your rights are. You need to understand what each of you can legally do. I’m not saying Eric’s a bad guy, but I don’t want him taking more than he’s allowed. I don’t want you getting screwed.”
Nicole appreciated the support even as she wished it wasn’t necessary. She’d been sick to her stomach for three days now. Unable to fully grasp what had happened. Eric was gone. Their marriage was over. Even back when she’d thought things were fine, he hadn’t been happy.
Which made her wonder if everything about their relationship had been a lie. He’d obviously been going through the motions and she’d been completely fooled.
* * *
Shannon pulled into the church parking lot and wished that Pam was back from her trip. While she was glad her friend was away and hopefully having a good time, right now a little wise counsel sounded good.
Before John had died, everything had been going so well for all of them, Shannon thought as she stared at the building in front of her. Eric had just sold his screenplay, things were great with Adam and Pam was her normal, happy, stable self. Then it had all gone to hell.
Nicole was in shock about Eric leaving. Shannon was surprised things had unraveled so quickly, but not totally stunned by the outcome. Adding to that was the reality that when one partner hit it big in nearly any field, there were stresses added to the relationship. In this case the million-dollar deal was both a blessing and curse. Now Eric could afford to walk away. He didn’t need to be supported.
Shannon told herself there had to be other reasons for the breakup. Obviously there had been other problems. Every couple had them. Look at her and Adam. Or maybe it was better not to look.
She was avoiding him. He’d tried to set up dinner or even just a walk on the beach, but she kept saying she needed time. Which was true. She wasn’t sure where their relationship was going. Despite his apologies and explanations about what had happened with Char, she wasn’t sure she could do it. Be a part of his family.
Some of it was getting involved with a family that already existed. She wasn’t sure where she would fit. Learning the rules, being “the other,” all frightened her.
There were other considerations, as well. In truth, she’d spent the past twenty years only being responsible for herself. She’d done what she wanted, when she wanted. She’d made her own rules. Some of her decisions had been bad or wrong, but the only consequences were to herself.
If she stayed with Adam, if they kept going on their current path, then she wasn’t going to be the only one in the room. There would be other considerations. Other people who had to be consulted, and not just the children. Tabitha would be a part of her life. This woman that Shannon had yet to meet would get one of the votes.
If she stayed with Adam, she would be the second wife. Whatever they did, he would have done it before with someone else. A wedding, a honeymoon, even having a child. She knew he wouldn’t ever say it, but she wondered if he would be thinking it. Been there, done that.
She got out of the car and headed into the church. An easel with a sign pointed her down the hall. She entered what looked like a multipurpose room. A few high windows and a dozen or so chairs set out in a circle.
There were about ten women in the room already. They were talking to each other. A few stood together while others had already taken a seat. Shannon approached the woman behind the desk near the door.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Shannon Rigg. I called.”
“Of course. Welcome.” The woman’s name tag said Alice. “You’re welcome to be a guest at two meetings. We ask that you observe without speaking.” Alice shrugged. “We’ve had problems with people showing up, dominating the time to get their questions answered, then disappearing.”
“Sure. That makes sense.” Shannon could respect the concept of having to earn her way into the group. Assuming she wanted to belong.
“Once you join, you’ll be given access to our resource network. There’s an annual fee that covers maintaining the website and the referral service.”
All of which Shannon already knew. She took the name tag Alice offered her, then got a cup of coffee from the tray in the back of the room. She walked over to the circle and settled in a chair.
The women in the room were all in their thirties and forties. One of them had a sleeping baby in her arms. The others watched the baby with varying expressions of longing. Madge, the group leader she’d spoken to on the phone, had explained that some women stayed on, even after having a child. They had made friendships that were important to them.
Shannon sipped her coffee and waited for the meeting to start. She didn’t think she would join. She was here to observe and learn. While she was figuring things out when it came to her relationship with Adam, she’d thought maybe it was time to figure out a few things for herself. Like why hadn’t she had a child on her own?
She’d been so determined to have it all or not have any of it. What was up with that? Part of her attempt to answer that question had been to come here. To a support group for women over thirty-five trying to have a child.
Some were married with fertility problems, others were single. The topics included traditional pregnancy, surrogacy and adoption.
A tall woman in a business suit walked over and sat next to Shannon.
“I’m Madge,” she said with a welcoming smile. “Nice to meet you in person. I’m glad you could ma
ke it to our meeting.”
“Me, too.”
Madge nodded at the woman with the baby. “She used a surrogate. We were all excited when she finally got her daughter.”
“I can imagine.”
Shannon braced herself for the inevitable and awkward questions. Why hadn’t she had a baby before now? Had she considered adoption, or just getting pregnant by some random guy? But Madge didn’t go there. Instead, she addressed the women and asked them to take their seats.
“We have a guest tonight. This is Shannon.”
Several people called out a greeting.
Madge leaned back in her chair. “Who has something to report?”
A dark-haired woman in her forties smiled. “We’ve heard that we’ve been approved for our adoption in Ethiopia. We’re flying out next week.”
Everyone applauded.
She went on to talk about the process—how long it would take and what was involved. Several of the other women mentioned where they were in the process. Someone else gave an update on her IVF.
By the end of the hour, the sun had set and Shannon had a lot more information about what it would mean to have a baby on her own.
She thanked Madge for letting her visit and promised to think about joining the group. First she would have to figure out what she wanted and whether or not her interest in having a baby had anything to do with her relationship with Adam.
If she had a baby on her own, she would be dealing with a lot of logistical issues. Finding someone like Greta, for one. And if she was alone and working her usual fifty hours a week, should she really have a child? When would she see him or her?
There would be massive lifestyle changes. Was she willing to make them? To cut back on her hours? To talk to Nolan about working from home a couple of days a week?
The Girls of Mischief Bay Page 32